//------------------------------// // Chapter 10: Aunties and nursery rhymes // Story: Rough beginnings // by Never2muchpinkie //------------------------------// Time felt like it was out of whack. Days passed by and Derpy couldn’t remember anything about them. Her body went to the service for her parents, but her mind did not. Her friends offered her consolations, the preacher said last words, and the bodies were buried. What was said, though, she had no idea. Her mind was a blank hole, completely devoid of thoughts and emotions. All she wanted to do was sleep; anything to get away from the crushing weight threatening to engulf her. Lyra and Bon Bon continued to watch over her. Berry Punch, Doctor Hooves, and Shoeshine came over frequently to help support her. Dinky could hardly fail to notice the change in her mother’s behavior, of how she spent most of her time not talking and laying down and sleeping. Derpy passed it off as being sick, which wasn’t entirely untrue. She was sick… sick with loss; sick with hurt. Dinky knew how it felt to be sick. She also knew whenever she wasn’t feeling well her mother always cared for her and held her and gave her medicine. She did the same for Derpy, in her own little way. Derpy could tell all of them were working hard for her, to help her out. She just lacked the emotional capacity to really thank them for it. They took care of all the big responsibilities, so the only thing Derpy had to do was play with Dinky. In some ways Derpy loved this, as she didn’t think she could muster the energy to do anything else besides eat and sleep. In other ways she hated it. She tired of putting on a smile and pretending things were fine when Dinky was around, when she just wanted to be left alone. Dinky was too clingy to her, so she decided the best way to mitigate things was to get her daughter to become comfortable with her friends. She began to referring to them as Dinky’s aunts and uncle. Derpy didn’t want to overwhelm Dinky with too much at once, so she decided to have Dinky warm up to one of them at a time. She started with Lyra. “Dinky!” Derpy said brightly as they sat on a chair in the guest room, flashing the familiar hollow smile. “Yes, Mama?” she responded. “Auntie Lyra wants to show you something.” She took Dinky over to the bed, setting her down and going back to sit down. Lyra set up a few stuffed animals on her bed. “This is something funny my momma taught me when I was about your age. You ready?” Dinky looked at her, unsure. She turned her head to Derpy, to make sure she was still there to protect her, then turned back and nodded. “Okay. Here we go.” She used her magic to levitate the five stuffed animals, making them bounce up and down. She then began to sing. “Five little ponies, jumping on the bed. One fell off and bumped her head.” She threw one of the toys on the floor. “Mama called the doctor and the doctor said, ‘No more ponies jumping on the bed!” Dinky giggled at the silly voice. “FOUR little ponies, jumping on the bed. One fell off and bumped her head. Mama called the doctor and the doctor said, “NO MORE PONIES jumping on the bed!” Dinky giggled some more, smiling wide as another toy flew to the floor. “Three little ponies, jumping on the bed.” “One fell off and bump her head!” Dinky sang, using her own magic to throw another toy on the floor. Lyra’s heart warmed, seeing Dinky joining in. “Mama called the doctor and the doctor said-” “NO MORE PONY jumpin’ on da bed!” Dinky squealed with laughter. “More, more!” “Two little ponies-” “-jumpin’ on da bed-” Dinky stood up, jumping up and down herself now. “-one fell off-“ “-and bump her head-“ She throw yet another toy on the floor, still bouncing. “Mama called the doctor-” “-and the doctor said-” “NO MORE PONIES jumping on the bed!” They finished in unison. “More, more!” Dinky cried out. “We do together!” “Alright, then. Ready?” Dinky nodded “One little pony, jumping on the bed, one fell off and bumped her head. Mama called the doctor and the doctor said, ‘NO MORE PONIES JUMPING ON THE BED!” Lyra finished up in a normal manner, but Dinky practically shouted the ending. Dinky fell to the bed on her back, clutching her stomach and kicking her back legs as she laughed hysterically. Derpy watched them with a half-smile. Her daughter’s joy was her joy, but she couldn’t deny a piece of her felt jealous for sharing. She knew that was terrible, but she had lost both of her largest supports. Dinky was the only family she had left that she knew of. “Again!” Dinky said, her cheeks flushed red with joy. Her horn glowed as she lifted the stuffed animals and made them start bouncing. “Five little ponies, jumpin’ on da bed-” The two of them went through the song again, Dinky grinning like mad all the while. When they finished up the second time Dinky walked over to Lyra and gave her a hug. “I like you, Annie Lyly.” Lyra hugged her back. “Aww, thank you, Dinky. I like you too.” “Hey! Who’s running the laugh train in here?” Bon Bon asked as she came in. “Oh, my. You’ve gained Dinky’s approval.” Dinky pulled herself free of Lyra’s hug, levitating herself over to her mother and hugging her. Derpy could see Bon Bon looked a bit put out. “Don’t be scared, Dinky. Auntie Bon Bon is just as fun and nice as Auntie Lyra.” Pulling Dinky away she turned her around so she was facing Bon Bon. “Why don’t you tell her about the fun thing you and Lyra were doing?” Dinky looked uncertain, but as the memory hit her she began to giggle. “Little ponies were jumpin’ on the bed, but all of them fall off and bump their heads.” “Oh, my!” Bon Bon put her hoof to her mouth. “And what did their mama do?” “Mama called the docor and the docor said, ‘NO MORE PONIES JUMPIN’ ON DA BED!’” Dinky snickered, putting her hoof to her mouth as she laughed. “That is a fun game, but I have a fun one too. Would you like to play?” Dinky looked up at her mother. “You stay here?” Derpy nodded. “I’ll be right here if you need me.” With that Derpy let go and Dinky hopped onto the floor, following Bon Bon back onto the bed. She stared at the mare expectantly. “Well, Lyra is not the only one who can do silly voices.” She set up three of the stuffed animals on their own, along with a few boxes, which she asked Dinky to help color, which she was happy to do. Seeing the images on the boxes Lyra knew what story she was going for. When the boxes were set up Bon Bon cut a rectangle shape into it that could swing back and forth, then separated the three of them across the room. Dinky looked at each of the boxes, one colored yellow, one brown, and one red, and wondered what was next. Bon Bon cleared her throat, then said, “Help me out here with the magic, Lyra.” Lyra nodded. “Gotcha.” She gathered 3 of the stuffed animals together, making them move around a bit. Bon Bon grabbed another stuffed animal, moving it toward the others as she started talking. “Once upon a time three were three little ponies.” “Were they jumpin’ on da bed?” asked Dinky. Bon Bon shook her head. “No. Not this time. These ponies were out playing.” Lyra made some voices of laughter and enjoyment. “Then, all of a sudden, a TIMBERWOLF came out of the bushes!” Bon Bon pounced in front of the 3 ponies. Dinky squeaked. “Oh, no!” “Little ponies,” Bon Bon said in a deeper, menacing voice, “I’m going to eat you!” “Eeeeek!” Lyra screamed. The three stuffed animals ran towards the three boxes around the room, slamming the doors. “The big bad timberwolf went to the first ponies house, who had a house that was only made of straw. And then he said, “Little pony, little pony, let me in!” “Not by the hair of my chinny chin chin!” Lyra said. “Little pony, little pony, LET ME IN!” “Not by the hair of my chinny chin chin!” Dinky was smiling and laughing again, her eyes twinkling. “Then I’ll huff, and I’ll puff, and I’ll blow your house in.” She took in a deep breath and let it out several times, each time Lyra made the box move a little more, until it went flying into the wall. Dinky squealed. “OH, NO!” she said again. “The little pony ran to her sister’s house, and the wolf came chasing after her.” Lyra followed the story, slamming the door before the wolf in the house of sticks. “The big bad timberwolf knocked on the door.” “Lit’l pony, lit’l pony, let me in!” Dinky said, roaring as she jumped off the bed. Bon Bon gave Dinky the “timberwolf” stuffed animal, pulling Lyra over to her as they said together, “Not by the hair of my chinny-chin-chin!” “Lit’l pony, lit’l pony, let me in!” “Not by the hair of my chinny-chin-chin!” “Then I huff and I puff and I blow you house in!” She took a deep breath, blowing hard, Lyra making the box fly away. Dinky roared again, shaking the timberwolf. “I gonna eats you’s.” “Oh, no!” they screamed, running over to the last box. “Derpy,” Lyra whispered loudly. “We need a third little pony.” Derpy sighed. She wanted to refuse, but she was somewhat amused by their antics, and Dinky was having a great time. She didn’t want to ruin the blossoming relationship Dinky was forming with Lyra and Bon Bon by being a spoilsport and distracting Dinky by not playing along. She got up, going to the last box. Dinky let out another roar as she knocked on the brick house. “Lit’l pony, lit’l pony, let me in!” All three of them responded, “Not by the hair of my chinny-chin-chin!” “Lit’l pony, lit’l pony, let me in!” “Not by the hair of my chinny-chin-chin!” “Then I huff and I puff and I blow you house in!” She sucked in a breath and let it out hard, again and again. Bon Bon narrated again. “The big bad timberwolf huffed, and he puffed, and he huffed, and he puffed, but the brick house was much stronger than straw or sticks. No matter how much he huffed and puffed he couldn’t blow the house down. Eventually he got tired, and he had to give up. He went home hungry.” Dinky stopped huffing and puffing, panting for breath. She grabbed the timberwolf. “Oh, no. I gots nothings to eats. I so hungry.” She fell to the floor on her back, closing her eyes. “I thinks someone should feed me some cookies!” She opened an eye, looking towards the three adults slyly. “Well, if we give you some cookies, do you promise not to eat us?” Bon Bon said in her high pitched pony voice. Dinky rolled right over, grinning ear to ear, and nodded hard. “Okay, then.” A few minutes later Dinky was happily chowing down on a plate of milk and cookies. “Mmmmmmm!” Dinky patted her belly. “Okays. I no eats you. I all full now.” “Whew! That’s a relief,” said Lyra, wiping cookie crumbs off her face. “Would you like to play some more?” Dinky nodded again. “You funny.” “Oh, am I?” She lifted Dinky in the air with her magic. “Would you like to walk on the ceiling?” “Yeah, yeah!” she said excitedly. “Go up high!” “Alright, then! Here we go!” Dinky flew up slowly until she was near the ceiling before Lyra flipped her so she was upside-down. When she touched the top she began to run around, looking up towards the floor. Everything looked so weird upside-down. “Annie Bonnie!” Dinky cried out. “Yes?” she called from the kitchen. “Come look!” “Okay. I’m coming.” She walked into the room, seeing no one but Derpy and Lyra. “Hello?” “BOO!” Dinky yelled, making Bon Bon jump for real as she looked around for the voice. She laughed hard at her successful scare. Bon Bon was panting, trying to catch her breath. “You silly filly. You almost scared the life out of me.” Lyra lowered her to Bon Bon’s level. Dinky held out her hooves toward Bon Bon, and Bon Bon scooped her up. “I gots you!” She booped her nose. “You sure did.” She set Dinky on the floor, tickling her tummy. Derpy could tell Dinky was having a great time. Again she felt conflicted. Dinky was laughing away. She had accomplished what she had intended to do. Dinky clearly had started a friendship with Lyra and Bon Bon. But… what did that mean for her? When she was about to give up it was her friends who reminded her that she was still a mother. They had told her that Dinky was wailing away, screaming for her repeatedly. Dinky was overjoyed when they had been reunited. But now Dinky was playing with her friends, clearly enjoying herself. She found herself growing afraid. What if she had been right the whole time? What if she really wasn’t needed? What if Bon Bon and Lyra really could take care of Dinky better than she ever could? Her body began to tighten, all her muscles going tense. And before she could stop herself she stood up, her wings outstretched, and yelled, “I GUESS I’LL JUST SIT HERE ALL ALONE, THEN!” Her eyes narrowed, tears coming down her eyes. “You clearly don’t need me here anymore! I guess I’ll just go home and let you keep Dinky!” The air in the room grew tense, all the joy and fun draining out of it instantly. Dinky turned to her with teary eyes before running toward her, saying, “I’m sooooowwwwyyy!” Derpy regretted blowing up as soon as she saw the look on Dinky’s face. With just a few sentences she had destroyed all the progress Dinky had made in interacting with others. Dinky was more clingy than ever the rest of the day. She looked terrified that Derpy really was just going to abandon her. For the first time in days Derpy finally felt something, and it burned in her stomach like acid in her veins. She wanted to tell Dinky that she hadn’t done anything wrong. She wanted to tell Dinky that it was fine to play with Lyra and Bon Bon. She even wanted to insist Dinky do so. But the words just wouldn’t come. She couldn’t stand the thought of Dinky playing with others right now. She knew she was being irrational and stupid, and she hated it. She hated the way she made Dinky hurt, but… she felt like she was hanging on by a thread, and Dinky was that thread. No matter how much she hurt inside Dinky needed her, and it was enough to make her slog on through the dark swamp obscuring her vision, choking the life out of her. She believed that she was walking through a dark tunnel at the moment, and if she held on long enough she’d see the light again one day, but until then she needed to feel needed. She wanted to feel wanted. If she felt unnecessary, if she thought Dinky really would be just as happy without her, then the last piece of her resolve would crumble away, taking her with it. Bon Bon and Lyra hadn’t said anything about her actions. They understood. They knew she wasn’t in her right mind. She wanted to talk to them too, to tell them she wasn’t actually mad at them, but just like with Dinky the words just wouldn’t come. It felt like there was a cork in her throat, stopping her from talking. Everyone was in a down mood. Derpy felt miserable. Dinky was scared. Lyra and Bon Bon were anxious. The room felt so thick with tension it was almost suffocating. Dinky was the one to finally break the silence. “Mama?” she said solemnly, her eyes already misting. “I-I sowwy. I sowwy I no ask you to play too. I no mean to-to make you jeawous.” Derpy’s eyes clenched shut, Dinky’s words only making her feel worse. “You don’t have to apologize, Dinky!” Dinky recoiled a bit, shrinking away. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to yell. I’m not mad at you. I promise. I’m… I’m just a little upset. I didn’t mean to take it out on you.” She opened her eyes to look at Dinky. Her daughter’s eyes seemed so penetrating, like every secret of her heart was being laid bare just through her gaze. She turned away, unable to take the feeling. “You huwt my feewings!” Dinky said, a little mad. “I’m sorry. It wasn’t right of me to say what I did. Can you forgive me?” Dinky hugged her, which felt like a yes, but she could just feel that Dinky was still upset with her. It was a relief when Shoeshine came over to visit. It finally broke some of the atmosphere as everyone rushed to appear happy. Derpy insisted on helping make dinner, if for no other reason than as a silent apology for flying off the handle. Dinky was a sourpuss during the process, and ate her dinner in silence. Since they had no high chair in the house they had to grab a couple of large books for her to sit on to get her at the right height. Derpy felt Dinky had every right to be mad at her. She had encouraged her daughter to interact with her friends then yelled at her for it. But knowing that didn’t make her feel any better. She had to force every bite of food. She barely got a quarter way through her meal before she felt full and sick to her stomach. Dinky’s occasional two second glares toward her before going back to her meal made her stomach feel like it was going to burst. She couldn’t stop shaking. She didn’t want Dinky to be angry with her, but she didn’t want to deprive Dinky of her natural feelings. Things weren’t always going to be perfect between them, and she wanted Dinky to know she had the right to get mad when her mother made mistakes, just like she got mad when Dinky did the same. Her friends were chatting away, and she once more felt invisible, and unwanted. She hugged herself, silently crying, wondering whether the pain was ever going to go away. When Dinky next looked towards her mother her anger vanished. Tears were pouring down her mother’s eyes, soaking the tablecloth below. Now it was Dinky who felt guilty. Her mother had apologized, hadn’t she? She had said sorry, hadn’t she? But she had still felt mad. And now… now her mother was in pain again. With a glow of her horn Dinky levitated toward her mother, taking the mare by surprise as Dinky poked her. Derpy looked up at her daughter, seeing teary eyes and guilt reflecting back at her. Dinky held out her hooves, anxiously hoping her mother would take them. Derpy moved her legs, pulling Dinky close to her. “I sowwy!” Dinky said, sniffling. “I sowwy I no forgive you and makes you sad.” Derpy squeezed a little tighter. “It’s okay, Muffin. I promise. We all make mistakes.” Dinky looked up at her, her face clenched up. “D-d-do you st-still l-love me?” “Of course, Dinky!” Derpy said thickly. “I’ll always love you until the end of time! “I shouldn’t have yelled at you. I’m… I’m just a little worn out and I got cranky. It wasn’t your fault.” “O-okay,” she said quietly, burying her head in Derpy’s chest. Derpy felt so relieved. Dinky didn’t want to lose her, and she didn’t want to lose Dinky. They were two halves of the same whole, needing each other to survive. She couldn’t stand any more sadness for today. She nuzzled Dinky’s forehead, saying quietly, “Who’s a little pony?” “Me?” Dinky responded, whispering too though she didn’t know why. “That’s right. And what do little ponies do on the bed?” Dinky’s face brightened instantly. She pulled out of her mother’s grip, running toward the bedroom. “Come on! Come on, Mama!” Derpy followed after her, seeing Dinky already on the bed. Dinky was giggling like mad and bouncing up and down. “One little Dinky, jumping on the bed…” Derpy smiled her first real smile in what felt like forever.