Mid-Morning
Crystal Empire
The office.
“Your Majesty, y-your ten o’clock is here,” came the voice of Harshwhinny through the intercom. Chrysalis frowned at the device. Harshwhinny was generally unflappable, not much fazed her. Harshwhinny’s reaction combined with the names her appointment had given added up to a very few possibilities. Chrysalis smiled to herself. This had the potential to be something very good indeed.
“Send them on in, Miss Harshwhinny,” said the changeling. “And be sure to come by in about twenty minutes with some cheesecake, tea, chocolate milk and sunflower seeds.”
A few moments, as expected, in flowed Princess Celestia, closely followed by her mane and then her tail. A subjective minute later in came Discord, the Spirit of Chaos, himself. For a pair of individuals who normally were the definition of ‘forthright’ they were both subdued, almost shy. It was endearing.
“Please, sit wherever you feel comfortable,” said Chrysalis. Celestia took the couch but Discord decided to sit on the wall. “So, I have to say I never expected to see either of you here. Especially not together.” Chrysalis reached out with her emotional senses. She could feel love between the two. A bond as rich and full as an old married couple who had shared a lifetime together. Consider how old both of them were, maybe they had. And Chrysalis noticed that neither of them had spoken yet.
“Normally, couples are a little more than forthcoming in telling me what their problems are,” said Chrysalis into the silence. “Do I have to invade Canterlot again to get one of you to open up a bit?”
“Um, what, oh no,” Celestia blushed. “Dee, why don’t you go first?”
“Oh no, dear,” replied Discord, “I wouldn’t dare take your prerogative to go first.” There was a bit of bite to the snaggle-toothed beings words.
“Fine,” said Celestia. Chrysalis cocked an eyebrow at that most deadly of feminine words. “To put it in a nutshell, he isn’t...chaotic enough for me.”
“What??” Chrysalis blurted, then smoothly recovered. “With all due respect. Discord is the Spirit of Chaos. How can he be anything but chaotic?”
“I’m an alicorn. I’ve ruled Equestria for millennia. When I get, involved, with someone I do so because they can offer me something different. Discord was incredible in the beginning. He made me taste sound, see the taste of a smell, and feel, well. It was indescribable,” said Celestia with a happy sigh and a blissful look on her face.
“Yes, I can see and sense that. But you’re moving away from the question. How can Discord, the embodiment of chaos be anything other than chaotic?” asked Chrysalis who had to tone down her sensitivity to emotions coming from the alicorn.
“Everything he does is the same now. He brings me chocolates, flowers, he dances with me. Everything by the rules. Everything predictable,” complained the alicorn. “I follow rules and expectations all day. I have to be this paragon of order and orthodoxy and...I’m not.”
“Paragon pony princess, pshaw!” scoffed Discord. “I’m a de-light to be around.” And then proceeded to transform into a Discord shaped lamp.
“You’ll get your turn in a moment,” interjected Chrysalis, who then looked to Celestia, “keep going my dear.”
Celestia continued, “I spend all day following laws and rules, when I’m done for the day, I want to let my hair down-”
“If you let your hair all the way down it could cause a flood of follicle fatalities,” quipped the Discord lamp.
“Discord. This isn’t helping,” said Chrysalis. “Let her get it out in the open.”
“Fine,” he harrumphed, turning on and off, on and off.
“As I was saying,” Celestia continued, “I want to let my hair down, go crazy, do something wild and unpredictable with someone wild and predictable. When I’m relaxing, I want some chaos in my life. I don't want to be some soulless minion of orthodoxy.” Celestia lowered her head in embarrassment.
“It’s okay Celestia,” said Chrysalis, “I’ve known that for years, now.” Celestia’s head whipped up so fast you could practically hear the ‘crack’ from the speed of the motion. “After all, I had you in a pod. I’ve sampled your emotions and liking some chaos is nothing to be ashamed of. I’m just glad you were actually able to say it.”
“Discord,” she said turning toward the lamp, “you’ve been very patient. Why don’t you tell us what you see as the problem.”
The lamp continued to flick off and on in rapid succession. “You can’t just turn me off and on, whenever you want,” came the grumpy voice from the lamp.
“I’m sorry, Discord. But someone had to go first, and you did offer to let Celestia do that,” Chrysalis pointed out.
“Okay,” Discord said as disappeared in a flash and appeared on one of the plush chairs in his normal form. Celestia’s tail had somehow detached and was in his lap. He began to pet the tail which began purring like a cat.
“She…oh this is embarrassing,” Discord said. He got up and began to go. Celestia’s tail poofed back to where it belonged. Celestia looked down sadly as Discord reached the door.
“Discord, wait,” said Chrysalis, “you wouldn’t have come here in the first place if you didn’t want to things to be right between you and Celestia.” Discord stopped and looked back at the ladies.
“I really don’t think there is anything you can do,” said Discord, hanging his head. “But thank you for being willing to make the effort.”
“Do one thing for me Discord, before you go,” asked Chrysalis. “Tell me how being with Celestia makes you feel.”
“Being with her…,” he paused, “It’s like being a part of light, of fire and warmth. Like being a shoot growing from the soil. You want to reach for her, be with her. She is life and the wonder of possibilities.” Celestia and Discord looked up at each other. The sense of love between the two was so great Chrysalis didn’t even have to try to tap into it. It just flowed into her on its own.
“For you, my dear,” said Discord, as he moved to sit by Celestia’s hooves. “Just don’t be too mad at me,” he said gazing into Celestia’s eyes. “You aren’t ordered enough for me sometimes.”
Chrysalis tried to keep her eyes from bugging out and managed, barely, to keep silent. Celestia looked like she had just been smacked in the face with a frying pan. “Um, what?” she asked.
“You aren’t ordered or disciplined enough. It’s hard to be Chaos. Being random is hard. Being completely random is practically impossible. When I take a break, I want to be somewhere where I know what is going to happen next. Be with someone that I don’t have to keep coming up with new, original and random things for. I don’t know if you can understand that,” said Discord to Celestia.
At that moment Miss Harshwhinny knocked and opened the door with the snacks Chrysalis had suggested. Chrysalis waved her in and she passed out the snacks with nary a word. Celestia appreciated the cheesecake, while Discord ate the chocolate milk, glass and all. As if it was one solid piece, like a candy bar. The snacks gave Chrysalis time to think. Love between an alicorn and the Spirit of Chaos? Unheard of, unprecedented, but undoubtedly, unimpeachable powerful. So different, and each wanted…
Wait? Could it be that simple?
“Celestia, you are a responsible ruler, a bastion of order. You’ve literally written entire legal codes,” Celestia looked up and started to answer but Chrysalis forestalled her with a raised hoof. “And Discord, you are the Spirit of Chaos, irresponsible, irrepressible and about as random as it is possible for a being to be.” Discord was suddenly wearing a ship captain’s uniform with a name tag that read ‘Obvious’.
“Both of you want, for fun, what the other does for work,” finished Chrysalis.
“We figured that out already Chrysalis,” said Celestia, “that’s the problem.”
“And it is also the solution,” interrupted Chrysalis.
“Aren’t I supposed to be the random one here,” said Discord, his eyeballs becoming spinning dice.
“Yes, and that is part of the solution. Which is why each of you is going to spend a week doing the others job,” said Chrysalis. Both the alicorn and the draconequus looked at the changeling queen in surprise. “Not only doing the job, but doing it the way your partner would do it. Celestia, you will have to become Celestia the Chaotic, Alicorn of Anarchy. Discord, you will have to become Discord the Dutiful, Prince of Equestria.”
Discord was too stunned to transform into anything but managed to sputter, “Me? A prince?”
“A dutiful prince,” added Chrysalis, “who looks after his subjects and ensures order and security for them.
Celestia, for her part, was holding her crown in her hooves, “And me. An alicorn of anarchy?”
“Not just an anarchic alicorn,” again added Chrysalis, “but a chaotic alicorn. Irrepressible and unpredictable.”
Celestia and Discord began to grin, which gave way to smiles, then laughter and hugging. “It’s the perfect solution, your Majesty,” said Celestia. “We get to do each others jobs, which will be like a vacation for each of us.”
“Not only that,” said Chrysalis, “it will help each of you understand the stresses that the other goes through during their day. And understanding your partner is one of the keys to happiness. My suggestion is that you spend the next couple of weeks working out the details, do the swap for a week and then come back and see me, say a month from today, and we’ll go over how things went.”
“Chrysalis, thank you very much. I owe you a big favour,” said Discord, who materialized a box of chocolates. “Love chocolates,” he explained.
“Chrysalis, I had my doubts when Cadence told me you had set up shop here. I thought she had made a mistake. I was wrong. Here,” said Celestia extending a hoof.
“Your Highness?” asked Chrysalis. She had a pretty good idea what Celestia was offering but with Chrysalis’ pledge to be a good guest in the Empire she did not want any misunderstandings.
“Siphon off some of my love. That is the price isn’t it? Go ahead, I give you permission. Drink from me,” affirmed Celestia with a radiant smile, “you’ve earned it.”
Fifteen minutes later Chrysalis was alone in her office lying on the couch. Celestia’s love buzzing through her like a lightning bolt. Partially drunk on pure alicorn love Chrysalis called out for Harshwhinny. Who appeared a few moments later holding one of the special containers used to store love in.
“Just what I needed Miss Harshwhinny, thank you,” said Chrysalis as she began to transfer the stored emotion from herself to the container. “I think I may need to cancel the other appointments for today. By the way, did you know you have the most remarkable nose hairs?”