//------------------------------// // Prank King // Story: Whodunit // by Pracca //------------------------------// “On behalf of Master Nicodemus, I welcome you to Brindlehoof Manor. My name is Pompadour, and if you’ll all follow me, my master has had me prepare the dining hall for tonight’s festivities.” The butler, apparently the Pompadour Pinkie Pie spoke of, was giving the guests a proper introduction as they admired the brilliant entrance to the manor. The outside, as dark as it had been, provided a perfect contrast to the striking, if overly-rich colors in this lobby, or parlor. Instead of a small hallway, or a more reserved sort of entrance, Nicodemus had been bold, and crafted a high-ceiling hall that stretched back a good forty feet from the front door. The interior was in many ways similar to the carriages that had delivered them. Everything was trimmed in black, adding a sort of emboldened pop to the warm red hues. In various corners and sides of the hall clusters of positively luxurious-looking chairs beckoned. Art from the greatest of the Renaissance ponies hung from the walls, framed and complemented by tapestries imported from the far eastern borders of Equestria, and their zebra neighbors. Even the more affluent guests were taken aback. “I really must say, I admire his style!” Luna whispered to her sister’s student as they looked around. “You should have seen the homes of writers of his stature a thousand years ago; they’ve gone from dreary stone castles to… to this!” As the ponies gossiped, commented, and chatted to each other Pompadour began to walk along a maroon carpet stretching from the door and all the way down to a door on the opposite side of the hall. A luggage cart was dragged by his side, with all the larger baggage the ponies had brought with them. Only Twilight remained with her saddlebags. The guests followed the butler, slowly shifting into various cliques. Luna and Trixie, being a princess and a mare who thought she was as important as one, moved to the front. Octavia and Vinyl, seemingly joined by a teal unicorn and a cream-colored earth pony with a two-tone mare followed close behind. Then came Hoity Toity, the mystery blue pony, and Soarin came after. In front of Pinkie and her guests went the griffon and a yellow mare with an orange mane. As they walked, Pinkie leaned back to her friends and whispered “No time to explain. Just follow my lead!” Twilight and the others tried to question her, but the pink mare became silent and stoic after her little message, intently watching as Pompadour opened the next door in their path. The hallway that revealed itself was significantly darker, lit by a few carefully-placed lanterns in contrast to the vast multitude of lamps hanging above and around the entrance hall. He walked straight down, and the guests followed. But when Pinkie went through the door, she hung a left. The other five looked as they came into the hallway, and saw the path branched off in that direction, leading to a staircase leading up. Pinkie was quickly hopping up the steps, about to leave them behind. The mares shared a look, and shrugged in resignation. They couldn’t get in THAT much trouble if it was Pinkie’s uncle’s house, right? Outside, muffled by the dozens of feet of wall and home between them and it, another roll of thunder made its slow call, and shook the house and the air. A bad omen if Twilight had ever heard one, but it was too late now. They followed Pinkie Pie up the stairs, curious as to what she was doing. As it happened, she had stopped off at the second floor, and was now crouched in the hallway. The mare looked back with a shockingly severe look, and shushed them as they stepped into view. On reflex, the ponies crouched, and slowly crept up to the same spot as their friend. “Pinkie!” Rainbow hissed. “What in the hoof are you doing up here?” “W-we should really be getting back to the others…” Fluttershy faintly protested. Even Angel Bunny seemed a bit on edge. This hallway was not quite so tastefully arranged as the first floor. It was simply dark. The reds had been replaced by darker burgundies and blacks. The only light came from where Pinkie pointed as a response to Dash’s question. A dozen feet down the hallway, one door on their left was ever-so-slightly cracked open, and the orange glow of candlelight poured through the crack. The mares all shared another glance, and silently communicated the agreement to check it out. All of them save for Fluttershy, who simply kept silent, in both the verbal and communicative sense. There was no arguing with her friends right now. Pinkie Pie nodded and took the lead, moving in exaggerated sneak-steps down the hall. Rainbow Dash and Applejack followed, practically trying to fight each other off to be second in line. Twilight stuck herself in as fourth, leaving Rarity to coax Fluttershy into coming with. Pinkie stopped as she got up to the door, and made a shushing noise to her friends before holding up a hoof to her ear. The others listened closely, trying to make out whatever she did, and through the door they could hear sounds. It was a voice, faint and fevered. “…no, no, won’t ever do…maybe she was always dead? No, no, too cliché… Maybe it’s all in her head from the start?” Whatever he was talking to himself about, that whispering voice sent a chill down their spines. It was soft, almost crooning, and yet old and just a bit crackly. Pinkie peeked around the corner, and ducked into the room. The others followed, feeling very nervous. Inside was a sparse room, no decoration on the window-lacking walls save for a single family portrait of an old stallion with an adorable gray filly up on his shoulders. In the far corner of the room, a single desk was situated, with several stacks of paper sheets a foot high rested by the chair of the stallion they had been hearing. A single candle illuminated his work, and even though his back was turned to them they all could see the feverish intensity he was writing with. Suddenly, he grumbled “No, no, this will never do!” and tossed the crumpled remains of his latest work to his right, passing over the thirty other sheets that had met similar fates to smack Pinkie Pie right in the face. Then, the girls frozen in icy fear as the stallion stiffened in his seat. “That certainly didn’t sound like paper hitting wood…” The chair scooted out from the desk, and all the ponies save Pinkie—who was grinning like a complete idiot—took a step towards the door. The effort was too little, and too late. In a spin, the mystery pony hopped up and turned to look at them. He was a unicorn, and clearly old despite his lack of wrinkles save the lines under his eyes. His coat was a very light red, almost salmon-colored, and his eyes were like bright rubies. His mane, likely once coifed but now a discordant mess, was white with a single, faded streak of its original red running through the right side. His mouth was concealed by a white, prestigious chevron moustache. But even beneath that, his scowl was visible. His cutie mark was concealed by a black cloak, wrapped tightly over the top of him and adding a sinister cut to his figure, perfectly accenting the menace he was exuding to the mares before him. He took a step forward, straight for them. Then another, and another. His horn began to glow with a dark crimson aura. Twilight tried to move, but found herself frozen with fear. Being closest to Pinkie, who was closest to the advancing old stallion, she whispered “We need to go! Come on—“ She was cut off and listened carefully as the pink pony muttered something over and over again. “ohboyohboyohboyohboy!” At the end of his seventh step, the glaring pony was now only a paltry foot from Twilight and Pinkie, the other mares intimidated enough to have backed away another step. Trying to salvage the situation, the lavender mare blurted out an apology. “We’re, uh, very sorry mister!” she said as a bead of sweat dropped off her face. “We were just looking around, and, um, we didn’t mean to intrude we just—uh-uh—“ Then, the flabbergasted unicorn stopped and saw as the scowl on the old colt’s face shifted in a mischievous grin. He leaned in even closer, and in a villainously deep voice said, BOO. As his mouth opened, a room’s worth of black smoke billowed out from within, catching up all six of the mares in its tendrils. All the visibility was snuffed out in an instant, and the mares began coughing in complete shock and confusion, as within the tumult they heard Pinkie shriek, and then begin to laugh at the top of her lungs. “ga-hack, hack Twi!” Rainbow coughed out. “Use a spell or something!” Twilight recognized that that was actually a pretty good idea, and her violet aura filled up the room as a great gust of magical wind carried the smoke away. Left behind in that empty room were five mares staring at a very confusing scene. The stallion had Pinkie Pie in his clutches; specifically, the tips of his hooves as he relentlessly tickled her sides, blathering out “gitchie goos” and other silly sounds as poor Pinkie fell to the floor, helpless. “BAHAHA, cut it out cut it out!” she screamed, waving her hooves around to try and deflect him. But the old stallion was persistent, and he grinned as he said back, “Not until you say it!” “N-n-never!” Pinkie retorted, trying her best to look defiant instead of laugh herself to death. The white-maned stallion tutted, and reached into his cloak with a malicious glint in his eyes. “As you wish, little Pinkie! You have forced my hoof!” The colt pulled out his most potent weapon: a gigantic white feather. The mare gasped in horror, and proclaimed “You wouldn’t dare!” The old colt raised an eyebrow and threatened back, “Wouldn’t I, little Miss Pinkamena?” Pinkie Pie gulped, and knew this was no bluff. She bowed her head, and humbly said with more than a bit of fake ire, “You are, and always shall be, the Super Prank King Extraordinaire.” The old stallion kept glaring for a moment, before finally his expression softened. In that instant, he transitioned from a threatening looking, sour old colt into a youthful, excitable-looking one not unlike his niece. He laughed, with a voice both strong and jovial, before wiping a tear from his eye. “Oh-ho, darn tootin’ I am, little Miss! And I’m still going to be for quite some time, so you’d best get used to it!” He extended a hoof to Pinkie, the family grin plastered onto his face. “Now get back up, kiddo, and introduce me to your friends.” Pinkie smiled back at him in the same way, and put his hoof up against his. Sadly for the old colt, a fresh barrage of static electricity zapped him as Pinkie Pie pulled herself up before releasing her grip to reveal her joy buzzer. The stallion glared at her in mock resentment as she gestured to him. “Everypony, this is my Uncle Nickie Pie!” The old stallion, Nicodemus himself, blushed a bit as he gave a humble bow. The sort of bow that allowed him to open up his cape, and send a torrent of bats straight into his niece’s face. The pink mare shrieked and began to bolt around the room, suffering her punishment for that joy buzzer gag as Nicodemus continued the introductions himself. “Charmed, really!” he exclaimed, stepping forward to shake hooves with all the mares present, addressing them one by one as he did so. “Misses Twilight Sparkle, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Fluttershy, Rarity, I can’t even begin to tell you what a pleasure it is to meet you all!” Angel Bunny gave a neglected glare at the old stallion as he continued. “I think I’ve got a whole shelf dedicated to letters from my niece about you girls!” Nicodemus explained. “I’ve been trying for years to get you all up here so I could meet you myself; I’ve gotta say, I’m impressed at the little gaggle my little Pinkamena’s rounded up. So what brings you up to my work room? Not that I’m not happy to see such a lovely young bunch of fillies come to visit me…” The mares giggled, and Applejack spoke for them. “Well, actually we’re not so sure. Pinkie came up here first, so Ah’m guessin’ she wanted to see ya before the big meet an’ greet.” “Right!” Pinkie shouted as she passed by, a few bats still hot on her trail. Nicodemus chuckled at seeing that. “Well, shucks, she always was a big softie. Can’t even wait five minutes to see her old uncle! Er, um, sorry if I’m being rude but, everything okay with your friend there?” Applejack observed Twilight Sparkle sweating profusely, trying to force some words out of her throat. “Come on, dear.” Nicodemus encouraged. “Out with it, I promise it’s quite fine.” Seemingly emboldened by that, Twilight stammered a moment before yanking a copy of one of his books from her saddlebag. Rainbow Dash facehooved in the background; this was gonna be embarrassing. “I’m so sorry, but I absolutely adore your works, I’ve been reading everything you’ve ever penned since I was a little filly! I-I can’t even begin to describe the genius of your characterization, your scene-setting, your thematic subtleties—and, I’ve just got so many questions! A-and maybe I was hoping you would… sign a few things??” Twilight seemed breathless for a moment, before finally Nicodemus let out a good guffaw. “Miss Sparkle, you really ought to calm yourself! There’s nothing I love more, Celestia help my ego, than talking with a fan! But, hm, come to think of it, I really should be heading downstairs soon.” He mulled it over a minute before his face implied he’d reached a compromise in his head. “Tell you what, the main event for tonight’ll be the big dinner Pompadour’s serving. If you’d like, I could save you a seat at my table, and I’ll answer—or sign—anything you’d like.” Twilight stammered, and then yammered, “I-y-yes! Of course, absolutely! Thank you, thank you Mr. Nicodemus!” “Oh, it’s no trouble.” Nickie Pie dismissed with a wave of his hoof. “Now then, it’s been a pleasure meeting you all, and I look forward to talking more throughout the celebrations; but there’s only so much I can communicate through a letter, so I’d like a few minutes alone with my niece to catch up. We’ll join you downstairs in a moment, ok?” The other mares agreed, and quietly said their goodbyes before slipping out the door. Twilight was the last out, closing it behind her and joining in the others’ quiet conversations as they left the Pie family to their business to go and join the others. The feasting would begin soon, and none of them wanted to miss a single moment of it.