//------------------------------// // I've got a very important Date! // Story: The Princess and the Human // by Ausbrony //------------------------------// Twilight stared at the blackboard, a massive equation spread out across its entire surface. The portal worked once already, it shouldn’t be so hard to figure out right? “AARGGH! Why is this so hard!?!” she yelled to herself as she tugged on her mane. “All I’m trying to do is solve interdimensional travel! I’ve already done it once! Come. On. Already! Stupid brain…” No, yelling at herself did not work. Yes, it made her feel better though. “Think. Think. Think. Think.” Twilight paced around in a circle and tapped her head with a ruler. “So that won’t work. That’ll vapourise us. And that option will see us scattered across the Multiverse…” Twilight groaned and perked up, “Ah-HAH!… Oh wait, that’ll just summon an eldritch horror…” Her mind wasn’t exactly on the job though. It started to wander away from transdimensional travel and she thought about her date with Kai and her face moved into a smile as a light giggle escaped her lips. “Trixie questions the sanity of the giggling mare in her basement,” the voice snapping Twilight out of her daydream as she turned to stare at Trixie. Speaking of her… “So, what made you become the librarian?” she asked her. “It doesn’t seem like a very—” She waved her hoof in a small circle. “—A very Trixie kind of job.” “Nice save,” Trixie said as she descended the stairs, taking care of the papers that Twilight had scattered around in her ‘Organised Chaos’. “But Trixie supposes she could enlighten you Princess Sparkle.” “Please, just Twilight is fine Trixie,” Twilight sighed as she put her research aside for now. “Well the Just Twilight,” Trixie smirked, eliciting an eyeroll from the alicorn. The blue unicorn rose onto her hind hooves, her cape flaring with a summoned breeze. “Let Trixie regale you a tale of action, adventure, and perhaps a little romance.” “Mayor Mare asked and you said yes,” Twilight said with the slightest of cheeky smiles. “Bah, you have no sense of adventure,” Trixie sighed and dropped down to all fours. “Trixie was simply tired of travelling for the time being. Yes, her shows were going well enough and Trixie earned enough money to get by but…” “You wanted something not so fleeting?” Twilight guessed. “It is as you say,” Trixie nodded. “Trixie felt like she wanted something… different. She doesn’t even know if this librarian gig is truly for her. But when you were here, you had things Trixie did not?” “Modern plumbing?” Twilight smiled, causing Trixie to nod once before blushing and glaring at her. “No! Friends you purple smarkflank!” Trixie pouted. “Trixie is trying to be serious here!” “I’m sorry,” Twilight and offered the mare a friendly nuzzle. “So, you wanted to make some friends? How would a librarian help with that?” “Because that’s what you did,” Trixie mumbled, Twilight’s eyes widening in surprise. “You led such a wonderful life here, and when Trixie heard that you’d moved away, she took her chances… But to hear you’d thrown all that away…” “Not… my proudest moment,” Twilight sighed and glanced at her wings. “Ever since I got these… I’d thrown myself headfirst into one responsibility after another. I guess, i wanted to prove that I’d earned them to everypony.” “Oh yes, because saving all of Equestria multiple times, wielding the most powerful artifacts in the world and finishing the spell of the greatest unicorn to ever live, that certainly wasn’t enough.” Trixie snorted and beeped Twilight’s muzzle with a hoof. “And you call Trixie a glory-hound. Perhaps Trixie should become a Great and Powerful Princess and show you how it’s done.” “Well there hasn’t been a court jester for a while,” Twilight snarked back. “Hmm, well when Trixie is Princess, she’ll be sure to give you a call.” The two stared at one another before breaking out into giggles. This was just what Twilight needed, though finding it in Trixie was a bit surprising. Once they were done, Trixie took a breath and looked at Twilight. “Trixie… wishes to ask you a favour.” “O-Okay?” Twilight blinked. “What’s wrong Trixie?” “Trixie… Trixie has a date tonight, with that fabulous white unicorn from Canterlot.” “Well, that’s good,” Twilight said. She was still excited about hers and Kai’s date tonight. “But I fail to see what—” “Because Trixie has never been on a date!” she yelled. “Trixie has no idea how to act, what to do…” “Well, you just…” Twilight froze as a horrible realisation dawned on her. She. Didn’t. KNOW! “Oh horseapples…” she muttered. She had no idea how dates worked. And Kai was a human, what if he had his own customs or traditions? She could wind up offending him and starting some sort of war between ponies and humans. Wait! “We’re in a bucking library,” Twilight pointed out. “There has to be a book on dating tips somewhere!” “A most excellent idea!” Trixie declared. “Come now Twilight Sparkle. We shall research and have the most wonderful of dates!” “Sure, we can… wait, what do you mean ‘we’?” “Trixie is not going alone. Oh no, Trixie and Twilight Sparkle shall make this a double date. You can bring Kai along.” That… was genius! She could compare variable between a pony date and a human date at the same time! “I love that idea! Let’s get looking for that book right away.” Trixie nodded in agreement. Tonight was going to be the best night ever. “So…” Kai walked through Ponyville with Flash Step and Blueblood. “Looking forward to your big date tonight?” “I am indeed,” Blueblood nodded. “Well, as long as I can get her to leave the spellbooks at home.” Kai smirked and nodded his head. “Man, if only I could get Twilight to do that. I seriously wonder why she doesn’t have a book for a Cutie Mark.” “Don’t be a Markist,” Step said with a curt tone, her eyes narrowing into a small frown. “Just because somepony likes something, doesn’t mean he or she should have a Cutie Mark of it.” Oh crap, she sounded pissed. Did he just make some sort of massive insult? “I’m really sorry,” Kai said, bowing his head. “I-I had no idea. Please, let me…” he trailed off as Step and Blue started snickering. “Oh you asshats!” “Hhahaa! Oh my gosh, the look on your face!” Step howled as she had to stop walking, she was laughing so hard. “That face… ohhh feathers that’s priceless.” “You’re gonna pay for that one,” Kai said. “You won’t know where, and you won’t know when…” “Consider us even for the whole vampire thing,” Blue chuckled and then motioned towards Step. “She’s fair game though.” “Traitor!’ Step gasped and tapped him on the shoulder with a hoof. It was still hard enough to make him stumble. Earth pony strength and all that. “Yes well I believe I shall enjoy my date tonight,” he countered with a smirk. “What were you doing again?” “Learn to keep them before you start bragging,” Flash Step fired back. “Quantity does not equal quality.” “Well, I happen to like this mare,” Blueblood defended himself. “So say whatever you want. I don’t care.” Flash Step pouted, he still had a point. She hadn’t had a date in well… a long time. Most stallions were intimidated by the fact she was in the Guard. And she didn’t really fancy anypony in the Guard themselves. “This blows…” she muttered and flicked her tail, her ears flattening against her head. “Well, enjoy your date Bluey. I’ll be at the hotel. Alone…” Aww, sad ponies were heart wrenching things to behold. Seriously, that was a face that could put an end to all wars. Kai reached over and scratched her ear. “I’m sure there’s a stallion… or mare, I don’t judge, out there for you Steppy.” “Why does you’re trying to make me feel better make me feel worse?” she groaned. “I don’t want pity. I want to get la—” “Kai!” someone called his name and turned to see Twilight running towards him. Once she reached him, she had to pause and pant for a moment. Running was hard… “I… have… phew, some news,” she said. “Oh, hi.” “Hello Princess Twilight,” Blueblood greeted her cordially and Flash Step bowed her head. “So, what news?” Kai asked. “Oh, well Trixie said she and Prince Blueblood would be going out on a date tonight, and suggested that you and I come along, make it a double date.” “Well…” Kai looked at Blueblood, who merely gave a small nod in return. “Alright then. I’ll head back to Rarity’s and get ready.” “Okay!” Twilight said and turned, running off just as quickly. Once she had left, Blueblood turned to his sister. “And now we both have a date tonight~” “Oh, go mount a cactus!” she huffed and folded her forelegs as she pouted. “You see, this stitch is done like this,” Rarity said as she showed Kai how to do a proper haute couture stitch… after Fluttershy had shown her how to do one. Kai’s own attempt was a little more clumsy, and his fingers had a few bandaids from the amount of times he’d pricked himself with the needle. Having magic like Rarity’s would have been useful. The reason he was learning? Well, he’d come to the mare looking for a little advice about dating and the topic of an outfit had come up. With little else besides the shirt on his back, Rarity had insisted on a new outfit for the event, as well as a more casual one to wear around town and the like. This current formal attire could also double as a uniform for when he was working with her in her Boutique. She’d originally wanted to give them to him for free, but he’d managed to talk her up to at least accepting a little money out of his paycheck when he started earning one. “So, are you looking forward to the date tonight?” Rarity asked as she embroidered her logo on the jacket’s tag. The design he’d chosen was rather interesting. “A little, though I’m also worried,” Kai admitted. “I mean, I haven’t been on a real date in…” Well crap, he’d never been on one before. And those air headed bimbos that Mike constantly tried to set him up with didn’t count. “Ah, well on the one bright side, I don’t think Twilight has ever been on one either,” Rarity chuckled. “Just relax and be yourself. Everything will be fine.” “That advice could be cliche… if it wasn’t true,” Kai said back to her. “But, are there any pony things I should do? Social etiquette and such?” “Hmm, I had not thought of that,” Rarity replied and tapped her chin. “Well, what does a human date normally consist of?” “The usual,” Kai shrugged. “Dinner or a movie, something like that. “I suppose stuff like being overly affectionate on the first date is unacceptable. Though most books and stuff usually have a good night kiss at least.” “Hmm, sounds about usual for here,” Rarity nodded in agreement. “And a nice dinner or a movie sound socially acceptable as well.” She placed the finished jacket aside and got to work on the hemline for the pants. “So, what about double dates?” Kai asked, causing the unicorn mare to pause. “Double dates darling?” “Yeah… well, more like a double-date with Blue and Trixie—” “HI!” Pinkie exclaimed, popping up out of nowhere. But, anything else she was going to say was silenced as her muzzle was quickly clamped shut by Rarity’s magic. “That sounds wonderful darling. And I should have this outfit ready in time as well” Well, if he had to wait… “If you have a book about fashion basics and terminology I could read while it’s quiet,” Kai nodded. “The more product knowledge I have, the better I can sell it.” Rarity nodded and floated a slightly dusty book down from a high shelf. “There we are. Now, if you'll excuse me.” She headed for her dressmaking studio, dragging Pinkie along with her. Once they were out of earshot, she released the party mare, who inhaled loudly. “Whaaaaat?” Pinkie pouted. “We totally coulda made it a super funsies triple-diple date.” “Yes, we might have,” Rarity said. “But we shan’t step on the hooves of them just yet. This is their first date darling.” Rarity rubbed Pinkie’s head and kissed her cheek. “That said… we wouldn’t be good friends if we didn’t… make sure things went swimmingly now, hmm?” “Incognito date?” Pinkie asked. “You read my mind darling~” Pinkie darted off to get reservations. Kai hadn’t even suspected why when Pinkie asked him where his date was as she left. Twilight and Trixie walked towards the restaurant where they’d be meeting their stallions. The alicorn of the pair looked over a checklist. “Okay, so.. dresses?” Trixie looked over herself and Twilight. They looked fabulous. “Check.” “Reference guides?” Trixie checked her saddlebags for the dating tips books they’d brought. “Check.” “Note taking materials?” Twilight checked her own bags to find the quills, ink and scrolls. “Check.” “Are we forgetting anything?” Trixie asked. “I don’t believe so,” Twilight nodded. “We also have our bits, makeup kits and flashcards. I think we’re good to go.” “This will be the perfect date~” Trixie giggled. “Nothing can go wrong.” Fate smiled and cracked his knuckles. It was time to go to work… Inside, Kai and Blueblood had already arrived and reached their reserved table. It was a nice place, that’s for sure. Kai had also received a small stipend from Celestia, as thanks for helping Twilight, and it should last until he could get on his feet. Well, until he looked at the menu. “I’m not even going to survive the eentres,” he muttered. “Hmm, well I suppose I expected such cheap fare from a small town,” Blueblood mused. “Well, it looked better than that quaint cafe or—” he shuddered “—Burger Princess.” Kai assumed that was the equivalent of McDonalds or Burger King. Gods… So. Many. Puns. A voice got his attention and he turned his head in time to see Twilight and Trixie walk in. He tapped Blue on the shoulder and placed a hand on his head, turning it. “Oh my…” the unicorn whispered. “They are quite lovely aren’t they?” Trixie looked rather mature, her hair done up sort or reverse-ponytail thing. Kai mused the fact that ponies always had a pony tail. Twilight’s dress shimmered like crystal and given the studded gems in both dresses, the human just knew that they would have Rarity’s label on them. “We are rather lucky stallions, aren’t we?” Blue whispered and Kai just nodded, his eyes never leaving Twilight. And fact that once she was aware of, caused her to blush. “Do I… look silly?” she asked as the two stallion got up and held their chairs out for them. “No, you look beautiful,” he replied and she blushed harder. “And what of Trixie?” the unicorn asked her date. “Is she not beautiful as well?” “Positively radiant,” Blueblood agreed. “Even the princesses cannot compare.” For once, Trixie had nothing to say. Those books hadn’t warned them of flattery like this. And why was it so warm in here? Kai sat back down, sitting higher than the rest. The chairs the ponies used were interesting, supporting the lower abdomen and chest, it left their back hooves to touch the ground, but kept their chest and forelegs up a little higher. It sort of looked like a wonky taco. “Well, thank you for agreeing to this double date,” Twilight started, her eyes flicking to the flashcards that the pair of mares hid under the table. “I hope we’re not intruding.” “Nonsense, it was Lady Trixie’s idea no?” Blueblood sipped his water. “And Mr. Kai here is a wonderful conversationalist once you get to know him.” Well, if he said so. “You look nice too,” Twilight commented the human’s suit. It was one based on a manga that Kai showed Rarity, and he had to admit. He was rocking the look of Sebastian pretty well. “Thanks,” Kai smiled and placed a hand against his chest, bowing his head slightly. In a discrete table in the far corner, a pink mare wearing a fedora and a black vest, and a white unicorn with her hair done up in a bun and wearing something inspired by Luna were paying close attention to the four individuals. “So… they seem to be doing well so far,” Rarity said as she sipped her wine. “Maybe…” Pinkie suddenly blinked, then her ear twitched, and she sneezed lightly. “Oh dear, what does that mean?” Rarity asked. While she was more than used to her marefriend’s unique… senses. She still had a hard time remembering all the different combinations. “Hmm, I think…” Pinkie looked back at Twilight and Trixie. “Yup, this is about to get interesting.” “So, what shall we order for starters?” Blueblood asked as he glanced at the menu. “This spring vegetable salad looks nice.” Trixie and Twilight panicked. Ah crap, they hadn’t researched the food. “W-We’ll… be right back,” Twilight suddenly said and headed for the bathroom, dragging Trixie along with her. The two stallions stared at the sudden exit, then to each other. “Is this a pony thing?” Kai asked. “I honestly have no idea,” Blue replied. In the little mare’s room, Trixie and Twilight flicked through the dating guide. The alicorn stopped at a page and smiled. “Aha, here it is! I knew there’d be something.” “Okay, so no salads for a main course? We’re ponies, what the heck else do we eat?’ Trixie scoffed. “No vanilla ice-cream for dessert, it makes you look boring and unwilling to take risks?” Twilight looked at Trixie. “I like vanilla. Am I boring?” “More or less,” Trixie replied as she continued to read. “Soup, because slurping at the dinner table is annoying and messy. Well, that one Trixie at least understand.” “And don’t order milk, it make him think he’s dating a filly…” Twilight pouted. She wasn’t a big consumer of alcohol. “Maybe I could stick to water?” “Oh yes, because that won’t make you look less boring,” Trixie snarked back. “Wahh, I’m the Princess of Boring,’ Twilight groaned. “Books never lie. I’m a boring mare.” “Oh do relax, Trixie is just teasing,” the unicorn pat the princess on the withers. “You’re dating the only human in all of Equestria. That excitement alone makes up for the fact you’re about as interesting as cardboard.” “Wow, thanks,” Twilight deadpanned. “Trixie is here to help,” the mare nodded. “And think about it, Kai has never dated a pony before yes? That alone would be exciting for him.” “So I’m doing what any pony could do?” Twilight said with an even flatter tone. “You are far too difficult to please,” Trixie sighed. “You’re an alicorn princess for buck’s sake! Now, we have our information. Let us return to the field of battle.” “Um… what?” Twilight replied as a waiter dropped a pan in the kitchen. “Love is war!” Trixie declared and marched back out to the restaurant. Twilight just rolled her eyes and followed her. Kai gave the two a curious look when they returned. “Everything okay?” he asked. Had he done something wrong? “Yes, I uh, had to fix something on my dress,” Twilight said quickly. She breathed a sigh of relief when the human seemed to buy that response. “So… eentres?” “Yes, I’ll have the spring salad,’ Blueblood nodded once he flagged down a waiter. “Lady Trixie?” Trixie glanced at the menu and squeaked. Holy Tartarus this was expensive. “Um, yes. Trixie believes she will have the same.” “And for the madame and the… sir?” the waiter asked Kai and Twilight. “Hmm, oh?” Kai saw something he liked the look of. “These coconut prawns. They sound tasty.” Twilight momentarily forgot he was an omnivore. “Well, nothing ventured… and I’ll show I’m not boring,” she muttered. “I’ll have the same as him thank you.” That threw the waiter for a loop. While it was normally a dish for Griffons, or the odd Pegasus… he’d never had a unicorn order it. “As the madame wishes,’ he finally said. “And, shall you be having a drink with that?” “Yes, bring us a bottle of this,” Blueblood said and pointed at the menu with his horn. The stallion nodded and left their table. Once he’d gone, Blueblood turned to his date. “Well, some smalltalk is in order I believe. Tell me about yourself Trixie. What is it you do exactly?” “Well, aside from running the library here in Ponyville, Trixie performs shows of illusionary magic, sleight of hoof and daring escapes. None can compare to the Great and Powerful Trrrrrrixie!!” She thrust a hoof in the air for emphasis. “Ah, good thing I wasn’t using that pesky little thing called hearing,” Twilight winced, rubbing her ear. “Still, how did you get that library job?” “Ah, a tale for the ages,” Trixie nodded. “It is filled with mystery, intrigue, adventure and romance.” “Ten bits says somepony asked her and she had nothing else to do,” Kai snickered and Trixie deflated somewhat. “Trixie tells it better,” she sighed and sat back down. “I think it is wonderful, teaching the young,” Blueblood smiled. “I used to be… well, somepony that barely deserved the title of stallion, let alone that of royalty. It took a rather outstanding mare hating my guts and some stern words from my aunt… but the final nail in that coffin?” Blueblood sighed and underneath that pompous nature and hair gel, was a stallion like any other. “My little sister, a pony I had long antagonised. She said how much she hated me and the stallion I had become. That… that hurt more than any spell or sword ever could.” “I don’t think I could ever say that I hated Shining Armor,” Twilight said softly. Trixie and Kai were only childs, but they still sympathised with him. “Ahh, but I’m spoiling the mood,” Blue waved a hoof. “Tell me Princess Twilight. How fare you and your stallion here?” “Ooh yes,” Trixie smiled and turned her predatory gaze on Twilight. “Tell us Princess. Has he ‘raided the royal treasure vault’ yet~?” “T-Trixie!” Twilight blushed and bat a hoof at the mare. “You don’t ask that during a date!” “You don’t?” Trixie looked through her flashcards. Twilight was right, avoid raunchy humour until you get to know your date better. “Oh ponyfeathers.” “As we told Pinkie and Rarity,” Kai blushed and facepalmed. “We’re just taking it slow. Neither of us are in any rush, and both of us need to get used to this idea.” “Trixie apologises for her crudeness,” the mare said, and blushed when Blueblood laughed. “Oh my, I simply must take you to a formal event in Canterlot,” he chuckled. “You’d go down a treat.” “L-let’s get past this date first,” Trixie blushed. Thankfully, the waiter brought out their order before she could embarrass herself further. “Your salads and… prawns,” he paused slightly as he gave Kai and Twilight their dishes. Twilight looked at her dish and gulped. These little orange things used to be alive. And now she was supposed to eat them? All because she had to prove that she wasn’t a boring mare. “Twilight,” Kai whispered and she looked up. “You don’t have to force yourself. You can order something else if you want.” “No… no, I can do this!” she said and looked down, gulping. Come on Sparkle. You stared down Nightmare Moon, took on a Changeling army and Discord, twice! This was just a meal. Food meant to be eaten. Just do it!! She speared one with her fork, wincing as she felt the tips spear the flesh as she slowly lifted it up and towards the quivering lip. She gulped and then jammed it into her mouth, the rubbery flesh squeaking against her teeth and she blinked in surprise at the taste. Aside from the coconut, it tasted… “This…” She swallowed and looked at her plate. “This is actually pretty good!” “And thus, the mighty prawn is devoured by the apex predator, the alicorn,” Kai said in a tone reminiscent of a documentary host he loved. “In this great circle of life, the alicorn mare will go on to feed her young, ensuring a future generation of predators lives on.” Twilight coughed as she stared at him, while Blueblood just blinked. Trixie just laughed along with the human. Twilight grabbed her glass of water and gulped it down before gasping slightly. “That’s… not funny,” she said, even though she was smiling a little. “You’re right,” Kai nodded. “That was hilarious.” “So,” Blueblood smirked. “Are you going to work on giving her those young then?” Now it was Kai’s turn to splutter and cough as Twilight just blushed harder. Trixie was fairly certain she’d found her soulmate. “Aww, we’re missing out on all the fun,” Pinkie pouted as she sipped her soda. After the Great Incident, it was unanimously decided by the entirety of Ponyville that Pinkie Pie was never allowed to consume alcohol again. “They do seem to be getting along famously don’t they?” Rarity tittered as she sipped her wine. “Hmm, but I don’t see anything that would have triggered my Pinkie Sense™. So… I wonder what it could be?” “I personally hope it’s nothing,” Rarity said and smiled. “Now love, what do you want to eat?” “Hmm, I kinda wanna try those prawn thingies,” Pinkie hummed. “I wonder if I could make a prawn cake?” Rarity turned a rather interesting shade of green and shook her head. “Two azelea salads please,” she asked their waitress. Soon it came time to order the main dish and once again, Trixie and Twilight were at a loss. All they knew was not to order soup. “I believe I’ll take the soup,” Blueblood said. “It’s the house speciality yes?” “Indeed Sir, we are rather proud of this dish,” the waiter nodded. Trixie and Twilight stared at one another. “‘Scuse us,” the showmare said before dragging Twilight off. Kai looked at Blueblood again, but the stallion seemed as equally confused. “He… he broke the rule. He ordered soup!” Trixie panicked as she paced around the bathroom. “Do stallions have a different book to go by? Our book doesn’t mention that. We’re screwed!” “Calm down,” Twilight said as she leafed through the book. It was true that it didn’t mention anything. And then she reached a section near the end that described what to do if a date escalated to… evening activities and she squeaked, dropping the book and blushing. “No need to panic. We can assume stallions have a different set of rules. And slurping soup does seem like a ‘stallion-y’ thing to do. Shining Armor did it all the time when we had soup.” She pulled out the notes she’d been writing in secret. So far, Kai hadn’t done anything out of what Twilight considered to be ordinary. Was he perhaps following a pony guide? So that he wouldn’t offend Twilight. Aww, he was so sweet~ “Twilight Sparkle, get your head out of the clouds!” Trixie poked her. “We have to come up with a solution. You’re the smart one, I’m the charismatic one with a personality. Surely we can figure this out.” “Hey, I ate bucking prawns!” Twilight shot back. “And the fact that I thought they were delicious now makes me think I’m an omnivore. I’m not even a pony anymore!” “You know pegasi eat fish yes?” Trixie deadpanned. “They adapted when Cloudsdale used to be over the ocean, before they came up with the tornado method for transferring water from other towns.” “…Wow, it’s hard to forget you’re actually smart sometimes,” Twilight said, genuinely impressed with that fact. “Trixie will smother you in your sleep,” the unicorn muttered. “Look, what are we going to do? Trixie thinks she really likes Prince Georgeous. So don’t screw this up for Trixie!” “I’m not the one making perverted jokes in public!” Twilight shot back. “Look, let’s just review the material we have and come up with a workable solution.” “Trixie agrees with your idea,” the mare nodded as Twilight opened her notes. “So uh… are they, coming back?” Blueblood asked the human, glancing at the clock. Trixie and Twilight had been in there for almost a half-hour. Kai saw a pink-coated mare headed for the bathroom and tapped her as she walked past. “Excuse me Miss, our dates have been gone a while and I think one might be sick from something she ate. I don’t suppose I could bother you to check if they’re okay?” Rarity held her breath as Kai pulled Pinkie Pie over. And yet… He didn’t recognise her? How!? “I can do that,” Pinkie nodded and headed for the bathroom. “That mare… looks familiar somehow,” Blueblood said. “Really?” Kai asked. “I dunno. Ponies all kinda look the same to me. I tend to rely on hairstyles and Cutie Marks to tell you all apart. And Twilight’s the only alicorn around here, so that makes it easy for me.” “Truly?” Blueblood asked. “You cannot tell by normal means? Scent, eye shape and ears? “Not really… I dunno about the scent thing though, I don’t exactly go around sniffing my friends,” Kai said. “Look, sitting here, I can smell your cologne. Or the food in front of me, but that’s about it.” “Such limited senses, next thing you’ll tell me you can’t see colour.” “No, I can see colour just fine,” Kai replied. “My vision isn’t 20-20 per say, I should be wearing glasses when I read or use the computer. But I hate wearing them.” “Well, that truly is interesting,” Blueblood nodded. Inside the bathroom, Twilight suddenly had a feeling she was missing out on something important. When Pinkie reached the bathroom, she opened the door and gasped. Twilight and Trixie had notes everywhere as they compared data and discussed variables. “What. The. Cupcakes!’ she gasped and stepped inside. “Uh, you ladies know your dates are waiting on you right?” Twilight turned her head, “Oh, hey Pinkie. We’ll be…” she stopped and one could hear the ticking noise in her head if they listened close enough. “Wha? Pinkie Pie!?” “Oh good, somepony recognised me,” Pinkie nodded. “And duh, Rarity and me came along to watch out for you guys. Good thing we did, you’re supposed to be on a date, not… eggheading it up in a bathroom.” “Oh gosh, how long have we been here?” Twilight looked at the clock and gasped. “Almost an hour!?” “Trixie wouldn’t be surprised if they left us here,” the mare sighed. “Nopidope, Kai and Bluey are still here, but you two need to get out there,” Pinkie said and pushed them towards the door. “Look, forget your research. Just be yourselves alright? Love doesn’t follow facts and figures. Just be yourselves and everything will be alright.” Twilight and Trixie looked at one another, still a little uncertain. “Look, I’ll clean this up. Just. Go!” Pinkie shoved them out of the door and sighed before looking at the bathroom. Something clicked and she gasped. “Oohh, so that’s what that combo means!” Outside, Twilight and Trixie were very scared. “Did… Did Pinkie Pie of all ponies just give us love advice that sounded… viable?” Twilight gulped. “Trixie is scared too, and Trixie may require a hot shower and her blankie later. But yes, we should return to our date.” “Right, just be ourselves…” Twilight nodded and turned towards the table. “Let’s go.” “So let me get this straight,” Kai said as he walked back to Rarity’s with Twilight. “You two were researching while on a date? About how to have a successful date?” “Mhmm,” Twilight nodded, only now realising how silly that probably was. “You had flashcards, and text books… and everything?” Kai snorted in amusement. “You really are my cute little bookworm princess.” “Oh shut up,” Twilight pouted. “I feel bad enough that Pinkie already pointed all that out.” “Well, Pinkie and Rarity are a thing right? Is it so unusual that you got advice from someone with actual experience.” So. Much. Experience… “Well… when you put it that way,” Twilight said as they reached the Boutique. There was a note tacked to the door. ‘Pinkie and I will be staying at her house tonight. We shall give you some space in case you want to talk some things out privately. Have fun, and we’ll see you in the morning. With love, Rarity. P.S. I have access to more whipped cream here, so Rarity ‘might’ not be home until later ~ Pinkie.’ “I goddamn swear she’s doing it on purpose now,” Kai groaned as Twilight got a spare key out that Rarity lent her. “Do what?” Twilight asked as she opened the door. “Nothing… nothing at all,” Kai sighed. Once inside, the human put a pot of tea on as Twilight went to change out of her dress. Once she returned, Kai gave her the once over and nodded. “Yup, dress or no dress, you’re still beautiful,” he said and Twilight blushed. She swore that she’d no longer be able to turn her blush off if he kept that up. “Stop it,” she murmured. “I know I’m not that pretty. Not like Cadence or Princess Celestia. I’m just a boring little bookworm po—” She found herself cut off as Kai kissed her, putting an arm around her and lifting her. She put her hooves around his neck to keep balance as he deepened it, his tongue caressing hers as she gave a soft, pleasured moan. Once he broke it, he kept her in that position as he stared into her large, shimmering eyes. “Now look, you aren’t boring, not to me, okay? Because of you, I’ve seen things I’d have thought impossible. And even after everything. Jumping dimensions, meeting beings that move the heavenly bodies and a weird perverted pink mare that seems to warp reality itself. Even after all that, you are still the one I find most interesting.” He placed another soft kiss on her lips and rubbed her ear with his free hand. “Tonight was wonderful. You were wonderful. I… I think I’m falling in love with you Twilight.” Twilight gasped, her eyes watering as her lips trembled. “I…” Oh Celestia, what should she say. That was beautiful. And the guide didn’t explain this either. Nor did Pinkie. But then, that didn’t matter did it? What mattered was what she thought. What did she think? What did she feel? She smiled, that answer was all too easy. “I think I love you too,” she said softly and hugged him, her tears wetting his shoulder. “So… all those worries have stopped bugging you have they?” Kai asked, stroking her mane. “Mhmm…” Twilight nodded and smiled. “So um, we have the place to ourselves… what do you think, we should do?” She’d like to think, but she couldn't concentrate over the sound of her heart pounding in her ears. “Well, ah…” Kai rubbed the back of his head and blushed. “We could…” Crapcrapcrap! What would Twilight like? What would he be comfortable with? “How about… cuddling and reading a book?” “That,” Twilight’s cheeks turned pink. “Actually sounds really nice. Sure, let’s go~” Kai nodded and followed the mare upstairs. And hey, at least he’d get a good night’s sleep tonight.