//------------------------------// // A Bunch of A-Holes // Story: Spiders and Magic: Dimensional Crisis // by MetalJrock //------------------------------// "Glad to see you two are alright." Peter sighed in relief. Two days have passed since Ben was put in a coma, and Peter, after venting, decided to check on Applejack and Rainbow Dash, who he had also injured, but not as badly. With him were Bobby and Johnny, who wanted to join their old friend. "They told ya we'd be fine, sugarcube." Applejack replied. Rainbow grumbled, her wing in a cast of sorts, "Not me. I can't fly for a few more days." "I told you I was sorry, Rainbow." Peter said with a sad look on his face. "I know, it's just..." Johnny decided to finish her sentence, "Flying's all you got? I don't blame you." "Yeah! Exactly!" Rainbow responded. "You don't just fly, Johnny." Bobby rolled his eyes. Johnny smirked, "I know. I'm also the greatest superhero on Earth." "Yeah, sure." Peter chuckled, "Keep telling yourself that. What about Captain America?" "...Second greatest I guess. Point is, I'm above everyone else on the list at this point." Johnny grumbled. "Seems ya got competition fer yer ego, Rainbow," Applejack teased. Rainbow huffed, "Shut up, Applejack." Peter looked at the clock, seeing the time. "On that note, I think we should leave soon. We hope you two get better soon, we're gonna need all the help we can get." "Why's that?" Rainbow wondered. Bobby answered, "We're gonna save Superman sometime soon. We just need Batman to come up with the perfect strategy." He transformed into Iceman. "But it's time that we should go, sorry about the hasty visit, but the others are waiting for us." "It ain't no problem." Applejack assured. "You seem to be in a better mood." Johnny said to Peter, the three of them on their way back to the library. Peter decided to slide behind Iceman to catch up to them and get there sooner without having to waste any web cartridges. "I guess I am... I'm still torn up about what happened to Ben... And Kaine's still giving us the silent treatment, but I can't be too focused on that right now. Not when we actually have a way to stop the Legion of Doom. That and I'm sure he'll be up soon." Iceman decided to add to the discussion, "It's been two days already... How much longer do you think he'll be out of it?" "Well hopefully not too long, he's gonna miss out on some epic battles." Human Torch commented. "Yeah. At this point, we're down a few allies and up some at the same time. We have no magic users available, so I imagine Lex and Loki are gonna send some people soon enough." Peter sighed, "But with us all here, it should still be easy." "More importantly, since I'm here." Johnny smirked. "Whatever you say, Storm." Iceman groaned, "So this makes me wonder. Why did the Legion of Doom decide to stop here? This doesn't seem like their usual MO. It just feels off... I dunno. What do you think, Peter?" he wondered, Peter shrugged, "Heck if I know. Boost Loki's ego and destroy me once and for all? I seem to be getting that a lot lately. Makes sense, given Loki's personality. If he weren't evil, I would probably hang out with him. Maybe." he paused, "Well, that really doesn't answer why the legion is here considering I have nothing to do with them. But I guess we'll figure it out soon enough." "You replacing us with a god, Pete?" Johnny asked. "Nah. Okay, maybe." Peter chuckled. "Some friend you are." Iceman grumbled jokingly. "Are you sure you all should be up?" Barry asked, seeing Twilight, Trixie and Sunset wandering about. "That magic exertion is supposedly tough." he said. "We're fine, Barry." Sunset assured. "It's better than lying in bed doing nothing." "Yes. Trixie was getting cramped." Trixie agreed, "Now, it's about time I got something to eat." she pulled out a bowl, but was surprised to see food already lying on the table. Her jaw dropped when she saw that Pinkie had already made food, with a little help. Quicksilver smirked, flipping a pancake onto a plate with ease. He removed his goggles right as he looked at the unicorn. "You didn't see that coming?" he asked, zipping out of the room to grab a spoon real quick. He reappeared in the kitchen, drinking a small carton of juice while he sat down. With a sigh, he gently placed the plastic om the table, satisfied. "Order up!" Pinkie called out. Barry smiled, grabbing a few extra chairs so everyone could eat. Batman, Logan and Kaine decided to sit separate from the others. Batman and Wolverine sat on the sofa, while Kaine silently got to the wall and slouched down, refusing to talk. "He's not in a pleasant mood." Scott noticed. "I can understand why." Sunset replied quietly, "His brother is seriously hurt. It's instinct for him. We should leave him be for now." she told the others. "Yeah." agreed Barry, "I can't imagine the pain he's going through right now..." he mumbled, grabbing a fork, "Knowing that the only person you can call family is hurt... The only thing you have..." he inhaled, "But I know that eventually he'll be back to his old self. Whether it's before or after Ben wakes up is an entirely different topic." "So, what are we gonna do about you three? You're clearly not capable of fighting right now." Miguel wondered, pointing at the three magicless ponies. Sunset frowned, "I think you should know that we can handle ourselves without magic just fine, O'Hara." "You sure? Cause I only remember you and Twilight using magic while we were on Earth." Miguel replied, placing a hoof on the table, "It seems you're handicapped in some way, like how Parker is with his Spider-Sense." The yellow unicorn huffed while crossing her hooves, a pink tint glowing on her cheeks, seemingly embarassed by Miguel's assumption. Trixie gently slammed a hoof on a table to counter his argument, "Trixie can take care of herself just fine... Most of the time." she admitted with a slight gulp. "You unicorns and alicorns always use the weirdest spells! All the time!" Deadpool shouted. "Is that really true?" "Have you even watched the show?" "Duh! Like all the time!" Twilight hummed, deep in thought, "No... They're right. I can't believe I just said that about Deadpool..." she muttered the last part so that the assassin didn't hear her, "We rely too much on our magic. But its too late for us to use any other form of offense, especially when we're in the middle of a battle of this scale." "Exactly," chimed in Batman, the ponies turning their heads at his words, "Even though you're handicapped at this point, your reliance on your magic made you weaker than you already are. You have no tactics beyond that. As much as it'd help you, I can't train you until all of this is over." "Really?" Twilight wondered Batman nodded, "If there is spare time before the rifts close for good." "That'd be a good idea." Eddie complimented, leaning on his chair. "Just in case we're not here and something happens. Remember, we can't stay forever." "Aw... Why?" Mayday pouted. Barry looked at the filly, "Your parents made a life here and were able to move on. We all have business to take care of on our worlds. We wish we can stay, but we need to protect our worlds." he explained, wrapping a hoof around the small filly. "Oh man... I hoped to see you, Quicksilver and Rainbow Dash race when this was over." Scootaloo said.  "I would totally win." Quicksilver bragged. "Yeah right." Barry nudged Maximoff's elbow. "Come on! We all know Rainbow would win! It makes sense!" Scootaloo responded. Quicksilver put his hooves behind his head, "We'll see..." "Hey, Mister Lang?" Applebloom called out. Scott waved a hoof, "Please call me Scott, Applebloom. I think we're all friends here." "What superhero are you?" "They call me, Ant-Man." boasted Scott. "Ant-Man?" Scootaloo scoffed, the orange pegasus holding back a snicker, "What? Do you shrink?" "Yes, actually. Oh, and I keep my strength and mass while I'm small, meaning that even if I shrunk, I can still suplex you all across the room without you touching me. And do not make me call the ants on you, you won't like that." Scott boasted, a smug grin on his face. "Ants? Please don't get them on me, Lang..." Rarity pleaded. Lang chuckled, "Don't worry... I won't use the helmet in here. Unless pressured otherwise. Maybe." "You can talk to ants? That sounds amazing! Did you become their friends?" Fluttershy wondered. "Yeah, some of them I actually. I remember a flying bug I named Antony and well..." Scott sighed. The ponies around him paused, but Sweetie Belle decided to speak, "What happened to Antony?" "He... Perished while I was off with the Avengers. I mourned him of course, but no other insect can replace him." Scott replied, earning a gasp from Fluttershy. "Poor Antony." Pinkie cried. "I'm sorry to hear that." Twilight said. Logan rolled his eyes at the story, 'What the hell is goin' on?' his mind questioned. He turned away, seeing the door open, revealing Peter, Johnny and Bobby. The three immediately noticed Scott's downtrodden look. "Was he talking about Antony again?" Bobby wondered. At their nod, Peter looked at the X-Man. "Who's Antony?" "His favorite flying bug." Johnny answered. "Died while helping him fly into a mission with the Avengers one day." "Oh." Peter turned around and saw Logan, "Are you two already discussing our plans in saving Superman?" "Not yet. We were waitin' on you. That and three magic users are unable to help us anyway." Logan explained. "Exactly. We need to divide our forces just in case Loki and Luthor become aware of our absence here." Batman added. "Yeah, but I think we're good on that department." Peter recalled, "Have you seen how many heroes are here?" Trixie sighed, "Yes, Peter. We are aware. It's too crowded for Trixie." Maximoff nodded, "For you, anyhow. I'm perfectly fine." "I like it fine!" Mayday cheered. "I agree with the kid." Deadpool said. Peter slammed his hooves on his face, "This house just gets crazier each time I walk in. What else can happen at this point?" "Dude!" Johnny scolded. Marvel Earth... "Welcome. I take it you got Natasha and Clint's message?" Strange asked. "It's a shame. Those two are practically leading our forces here for now." "So, the Avengers are missing too?" Star-Lord wondered. "That's just great..." "Yes. They were captured by Loki." Strange replied. Rocket rolled his eyes, "Wonderful. We were goin' after a bounty, but of course Loki had to come back!" he grunted, kicking the floor. "I am Groot." Groot responded. Rocket growled, "Yes, I know Loki's a bigger priority! I'm just wondering how he got his act together." "He wasn't working alone. He has assistance from the Legion of Doom, a group of supervillains from another world." Doctor Strange elaborated for the alien. "We're allied with the heroes of that world and the world the Legion ended up in." "But why are they in this other world. The one of ponies the two spoke of to us?" Gamora asked, "It seems like a strange detour to take in their plan." "I do not know myself, but that's where Spider-Man resides now." Strange said. "The Man of Spiders... There? I did not see that coming." Drax admitted, crossing his arms. "Spider-Man was always full of surprises." Quill laughed. "But we've been to stranger worlds." "So I've heard." Strange chuckled. "As a fair warning, your forms may change once you arrive. But if the Legion is there, Spider-Man is going to need all the help he can get. Although some other allies are there as well." "I am Groot." "Yeah, this is gonna be weird." Rocket responded to his tree pal. "Good luck, you five." Strange told them. At that, the Guardians of the Galaxy jumped into the portal, ready for battle. Once they left, the sorceror sighed. "Equestria's not ready for this..." Ponyville, Equestria... A portal opened up in the library's living room, alerting Peter and the others. The wall-crawler, Johnny and Bobby stood next to it. "Is your Spider-Sense going off, Peter?" Johnny wondered. "No." Peter shook his head, "This must be more assistance." "Probably." Bobby agreed. Twilight, Quicksilver and Deadpool appeared next to them. "Who is it this time?" Maximoff questioned. "Seriously, it's kimda overkill at this point." he said. Five ponies jumped out, their appearance catching the heroes off guard. Scott slammed his face on the table, "Oh no... Not them." he groaned, taking a look at them. The first pony was a tan stallion wearing a red leather jacket and a strange metal mask with a weapon of sorts strapped on his side. "Hold on... We're all horses? No! This isn't what I had in mind!" The second was a taller green stallion with red marks around him, and two blades wrapped on his back. "It is demeaning, but I can get accustomed to this." A green mare, wearing a red suit, moved a step forward, "Yeah... I kind of agree with Quill... This isn't what I expected." "I am Groot." "Yeah, you're right, pal. We still look the same!" Rocket realized, looking at his body. He placed his bag on the ground. "No fair!" Quill huffed. "The Guardians of the Galaxy? What the heck?" Peter blurted out. Fluttershy immediately gasped at the sight of Rocket, and tackled him, "Oh, you look like such an adorable raccoon!" she cooed, Rocket trying to pry himself free. "I ain't a cuddly raccoon pony lady!" Rocket pleaded, struggling to break free. "Uh, random cute pony, you may want to put him down." Star-Lord warned, "He's not cute and cuddly." "Oh..." realized the yellow pegasus, "I'm sorry." The alien grunted, dusting himself off, "Yeah, yeah. I get that a lot. Minus the hugs of course." "I am Groot." Groot added, raising a finger. "A talking tree! That's amazing!" Pinkie called out, hopping on Groot's shoulder, the wooden alien smiled at the pink mare. "I am Groot." "Yeah, I think you're cool." Pinkie responded. Drax raised a brow, "You understand him?" "Yeah I do!" Miguel exhaled sharply, "Parker... How many shocking heroes exist in your timeline? I mean, first the original Punisher, Ant-Man, the X-Men, and now these guys?" "Quite a number." Eddie chuckled. "Seriously, I probably haven't met as many heroes as Peter." "Yeah... Some are good. Some are bad. And some are a litle bit of both." Ant-Man groaned. "Are they aliens? Er, space aliens?" Applebloom whispered. "Yeah, don't worry. They're cool." Quicksilver assured, appearing behind the Cutie Mark Crusaders. "Nice to meet you all, I'm the greatest bounty hunter in space, Star-Lord." Quill greeted, removing his mask and revealed his mask. "Who?" Twilight wondered. Quill rolled his eyes, "I'm Star-Lord man..." "Don't bother." Gamora told him, before facing the ponies, "Sorry about that. We're called the Guardians of the Galaxy... I still hate that name." she grumbled. Quill continued for the green mare, "That's right! I'm Star-Lord, that's Gamora, the tall guy there is Drax, the furry guy is Rocket, and the talking tree is Groot." he introduced each of them one by one, the ponies waving at them. "You're welcome, galaxy!" "What a bunch of a-holes." Trixie whispered. Barry ran behind Quill, "So, you protect the galaxy? Have you ever heard of the Green Lantern Corps?" "No. I have never heard of a lantern turning green." Drax responded with a shake of his head. "A shame. The universe wouldn't be prepared for so many space heroes." Barry said with a smile. "The universe is a big place, but the multiverse is bigger." Batman explained. "Space has their own heroes and sets of problems. But I've never heard of you five." "We met before." Logan added, "Some Mad Titan callin' himself Thanos came to our world, and they helped us. But fer some reason, I can't seem to think of why he came there. He said somethin' about revenge when he arrived." "So, why are you five here?" Twilight asked, "Like Batman said, the vast cosmos are already big enough, but to take time to come here? Why bother?" "Loki's a threat across the universe." Star-Lord said, "He's a priority for us to handle. We got a message saying he was in this world and decided to help out." "That's cool." Johnny said. Rocket spoke, "Oh great. The man who can light himself on fire is here as well, this is gonna be fun!" he said sarcastically. "Hey," Bobby began, "You decided to come here. Sorry if your allies aren't what you had in mind." "I am surprised to see Deadpool here." Drax said. "Why wouldn't I be?" Deadpool wondered, "I'm a main character now!" "Does that make these guys main characters?" "I dunno!" "Right..." replied Barry. Scootaloo and Sweetie walked closer to the guardians, "Nice to meet you five! We come in peace as well!" the pegasus chuckled. "Yeah! What's space like?" Sweetie Belle asked. "Totally awesome! So many cool planets to go to and treasure to find!" Star-Lord exclaimed. "And that means more money." Rocket chuckled. "I like money." Scott added. Batman rolled his eyes, "If you say so." "Trixie likes money too. Perhaps you have a few bits to spare?" the blue unicorn teased. "What the hell are bits?" Rocket shouted. "We'll explain that to you five later. For now, we really gotta tend to this. This house gets more and more crowded each day." Peter responded with a light laugh. "Yeah. How are we even handling this?" Bobby questioned. "Go with the flow?" Peter suggested. Johnny shrugged, "Good enough for me." "Pardon me..." Rarity began to say, "But, um, you're a tree?" "I am Groot." "Yeah, we know you're Groot." Sunset responded. "I am Groot." he repeated. "Do you say anything else?" Miguel asked. Rocket waved a hand, "Yeah, no. That's all he says. He said yes he is a tree and that it's a pleasure to meet you. There, ya happy?" Sunset raised a brow, "You can understand him? How?" "He and I had each other's backs for as long as I can remember." Rocket elaborated, "I sorta got used to his phrasing." "Ooh! A tree and raccoon are friends?" Mayday asked. Groot smiled at the filly while Rocket groaned, "Alright, since yer a kid, I'll forgive you. But don't call me a raccoon. I ain't that at all." he told Mayday. "Okay." replied the young pegasus. "Glad we got that settled." Rocket crossed his arms. "So, Rocket... Welcome to Equestria." Peter chuckled. "Yeah yeah. Alien planet. Nothin' we haven't seen before." Star-Lord raised a hoof, "Minus most of us losing fingers and the ability to stand straight." Scott shrugged, "You get used to it." "That's been a phrase passed around lately." Quicksilver chuckled. "So, we could use your help anyway." Batman cut the others off, "We're planning to find Superman." "Alright. I take it he's important?" Gamora wondered. "Yeah, his disappearance probably means he knows more about this than we thought." Barry spoke. "Very well. So long as time doesn't fly away from us to the sky." Drax said. "Yeah... Leave the jokes to the professional, Drax." Quill sighed. Canterlot... The moon began to rise once again, signaling the end of Celestia's sun for the next twelve hours. The sun princess sighed as she reached her chambers. "Sister, you may rest for the night. My Lunar Guards shall handle things from here." Luna said. "Thank you, Luna." Celestia replied with a smile, sitting on her desk, "But first I must attend to these papers." "Very well, Sister." Luna nodded, closing the door. As Celestia used her horn to lift a quill, the lights in her room dimmed suddenly, alerting her that something was wrong. The solar mare turned her gaze around, but flinched at the sight of something strange. A red blur of lightning sped around in her room, causing her papers to fly around her. With the lights gone, she trued to use her horn as a light, but she could barely see the figure. The red lightning stopped, and the culprit revealed themselves slightly. It was a blur in yellow, their form constantly vibrating as to not reveal their features. And their eyes were glowing blood red, frightening Celestia a little. The yellow being ran closer to the princess, and as soon as it came, it left. Celestia exhaled in relief, using her horn to light up a candle for sight. "What on Equestria was that?" she whispered. Her eyes then widened at the sight that awaited her. It was picture of the Elements of Harmony and Peter Parker holding a young Mayday. A knife embedded itself on Peter and Twilight's face as she read a warning painted red: 'Be prepared for war...' it read, the solar princess scowled at the message. "Perhaps it's time Luna and I checked on Peter..." muttered Celestia, still shaken slightly by what she just witnessed.