Doctor Haywalker began writing down with a pen on some blank paper in a magical grip. "How often did you leave your home?"
"Maybe once every other day, just to walk or get food. Nothing more."
"What about leaving against your will?"
"What? No. I only left when I needed to."
"Mhm, right," he took note of that as well. "Any abnormalities?"
"Abnormalities?" I froze to think for a second. "A few."
"Name them for me."
"Dreams, nightmares, some of which extremely vivid and painful."
"Painful?"
"Yes."
"Anything else?"
"Panic attacks, outbursts, most of which on household objects, but the rest were on ponies."
"I see. What else?"
"What else?" I stopped. "That's it."
The doctor eventually finished writing down, then continued once more. I waited a few moments before I decided to speak up.
"So, Doc, what are your thoughts?" I asked politely, sitting across the desk from the sky-blue unicorn stallion in his on-base office.
"Hmm..." He pondered, looking at a report and shifting his gaze between that and myself, before finally resting his eyes on my own to make contact. "My thoughts are that this could possibly be escalating. You are in your early twenties, yes?"
"I'm nineteen, actually, sir," I replied to correct him.
This made his eyes widen. "Nineteen?"
"What's wrong?" I tensed slightly.
The doctor sat back in his chair, putting his hooves together and letting out a deep sigh, not once breaking eye contact.
"Star Shooter, I am very much afraid that I may need a second opinion. You see..." He trailed off, then exhaled slowly through his nostrils. "I need to refer you to one of my colleagues in the city. I now have an idea of what it is that you are going through, but after what you have just explained to me thoroughly, I may not be as much of a help to you, but with some help, we might get an advantage.
"You see, I'm more used to the older stallions coming to me for mental help. It's far less common to have somepony in their teenage years walk in seeking aid."
I eased myself gently in my seat. "Oh..." Was all I said in response.
"I am terribly sorry, Lance Corporal. You may still come to me to fill me in and keep me up to date on what's happening in your current state, but... my colleague may quite possibly be the only pony who can provide some help." The doctor replied in the most honest tone.
"So, I am screwed. Is that what you're telling me?"
"No, no. Here, I will write down the information. The mare's name is Pastel, her office is in downtown Manehattan, close to where they are constructing that new super-tower," Doctor Haywalker explained, taking a pen and writing down on a small piece of paper. "Here's the address and the name of the place. I'll be in contact with her to let her know I'm sending you over there."
The unicorn handed the piece of paper to me and I took it gently, looking over the information briefly and tucking it away into my pocket, nodding once. "Thank you, Doc."
"Don't thank me, she's the one to talk to. I'm sorry once more that I could only do so much."
"Hey, no worries. I will head over there once I get the time. I really do appreciate it and I can't thank you enough," I gave a gentle smile.
The doctor nodded once, sitting upright again. "Then I suppose that is all. You are dismissed, Marine."
***
It felt good to be back on base. For once, it was sunny in Manehattan as well, and the temperature was rising. I suppose after months of cloudy weather almost all the way through, it was too easy to fall accustomed to the gloominess. Canterlot didn't have many of those days which was rather shameful, aside from the middle of winter. Either way, something about them was comforting. It might have to do with the whole less-light-equals-better-sleep kind of thing.
Not long would it take for spring come about, too. That meant rainy days ahead. Still, the spring solstice remained to be a good two and a half months in the future, even then, the snow could linger. That wouldn't surprise me when it comes to Manehattan.
The sunlight meant more ponies out and about as well. After leaving the doctor's office, there were noticeably more Marines and sailors walking about or on their patrol duties. Speaking of patrol, I'd remembered it would be a good idea to check with Halberd, or whoever was doing what I usually do along the wall. For once, I didn't mind standing out in the sunlight as long as it isn't too warm. It beats sitting inside with absolutely nothing to do.
My hooves took me from one end of the base to the other, to the eastern wall and where me and Halberd's station was. Up top rested a small booth where ponies could warm themselves up or answer phone calls if somepony orders them to be somewhere, such as inspection or briefings.
Stopping at the bottom of the wall, I lifted a hoof to my mouth, attempting to whistle. All that came out was spit and sputtering noises.
"Damn it," I set my hoof back down. "Hey, Halberd! You up there?" I called.
From atop, a dark brown stallion peeked his head over the edge, speaking with a clear local accent. "He is not. Who's askin'?"
"Just his buddy back from leave. He still on night shift?"
The pony nodded. "Yeh. He's not on duty 'til nine. Whatcha want?"
"Oh, just checking. I would hate to replace the replacement. The hawk's too nice and of course it happens to be the day I'm not supposed to be on duty."
"Well, ah'm enjoyin' it. Be my guest if ya want t'be up here, too, but ya better get some warm clothes on, just in case!"
"Nah, I'll pass. Sergeant will chew us both for two guarding the same post. Thanks, though. Have a nice one," I waved a hoof, turning tail and trotting away.
"Yeh, you too, Marine!" He called from behind, returning to his patrol.
Yawning softly, I began the short return to the barrack. Realistically it was the only option. Without work for the day, relaxing seemed to be something I'd have to live with for another day—as if I hadn't enough already.
Reaching a hoof into one of the pockets, I took out a single copper key and stuck it into the barrack room's lock, ear perking at the click it made and pushing the door open, into the warmer room.
This was probably ten times worse. At least in my apartment I could watch television, or listen to music, or do something. Here we had none of that. Just beds, a shower, and a little kitchen with no food in it except for a couple of unopened noodle cups.
Perhaps a nap would do, even though it would completely screw up my already-wonky body clock. It's not like it could get much worse. Or maybe it could. I don't really care anymore.
I plucked the uniform buttons open, slipping out of the jacket and hanging it on the bottom bed post sloppily. Leaving just a night-blue t-shirt on, I flopped down onto the bed chest-first, letting out a groan as my body melted into the mattress. From there felt all too much like paradise—if paradise was made up of beds.
...
Of course it had to! Beds were true paradise, where ponies could relax and escape their stresses for as long as their bodies decided to remain in a slumber. Then again, everybody slept differently. That included myself.
The only issue was, falling asleep was easier said than done. At least, as of lately. It seemed to depend on body positioning and some sort of algebraic mathematics only the smartest of all ponies could understand. Hell, Princess Twilight Sparkle could probably explain the concept flawlessly.
After what seemed like an eternity, everything went black and I drifted off to sleep, entering a realm of total darkness. Maybe I wouldn't have a nightmare this time. Hopefully I won't.
Looking around carefully, nothing could be seen. Literally nothing. Perchance this was one of those sessions where there were no dreams. Nothing apart from bland blackness for minutes to come.
Something landed on my nose. Blinking at its very touch, my hoof reached up slowly and wiped the blurred entity from my muzzle, holding it out to examine. A single, simple flake of ash rested in my bare hoof. Another briefly caught onto my mane, then fell past my eye to the ground.
My eyes moved to the ground, hoof lowering. More ashes floated down from the black sky above. Gradually I began to look ahead of me to see them coating the stone like snow. Before I knew it, papers began falling down as well, the rustling of one as it floated to my side startling me. I turned, picking up the paper to read.
Blank.
Another fell, this time to my left. I picked that up, too.
Blank again.
More and more began floating down around me. Looking up, I could see why.
Damage from high rise buildings all around made it clear that some sort of explosion was causing them to fall down in a paper-rain. Debris such as broken bits of glass, twisted steel beams, and shattered or cracked bricks lined the cobble street all around.
Looking forward, my eyes moved up a large unfinished glass office tower, panes broken and small fires burning away in them. The large sign above the lobby flickered a light blue, sparks falling down as it eventually shut off due to lack of power.
My ear swiveled, catching on to the distant sound of automatic gunshots, making me jump and raise the rifle in my hoof suspiciously. More gunshots, followed by an explosion, the shock wave rattling the whole city around and even my very body.
Turning to look behind, a rising column of smoke dominated the sky. When the dust settled, the silhouette of a high rise structure tilting over off in the distance and disappearing into a cloud of dust and debris was all to be seen.
Why this place again? Why am I here?
Someone or something was bringing me here. Why were the dreams so vivid? So many questions, too little time. Any second, and I would be awake again—wait, did I just say awake? What's going on? Is this reality or not?
BOOM
My eyes shot wide open and breath escaped my lungs momentarily as I struggled to catch it. A hoof rested on my chest gently. Looking down, I realized it was my own. It held against the metal dog tags, attaching beaded chain looped around my neck. Lifting the tags in my hoof, the wording engraved in the stainless steel shone light back, reading my name, rank, and squadron.
I shifted my gaze to the small digital clock resting on the nightstand, reading it as four past three in the afternoon, meaning I hadn't slept for all too long and still meant plenty of sunlight left to waste. Doing so, as said before, would be tricky. Then, a thought came to mind.
Maybe I should check out that psychologist.
***
The carriage ride wasn't nearly as long as usual. Then again, a lot of ponies were still getting settled after the attacks and there was not as much traffic on the streets. This helped considering the office hours of the place remained to be unknown, and likely chances were that it closed after at least six.
I checked the street address on the card Doctor Haywalker gave earlier over and over again, also remembering his words about the building being located near a construction site for a new tower. Despite its size, it remained to be blocked by Manehattan's short-but-still-tall structures. I trusted the driver on arriving without a hitch, however.
We came to a halt, and I glanced up from the card to look around, the carriage puller speaking up.
"This is the place," he said in a thick eastern Equestria accent.
My eyes scanned over both sides of the street, keeping vigilant for a sign pointing to a psychology office. The street was rather narrow and was actually quite darkened due to the fact of a taller building's shadow nearby looming over it. I furrowed a brow, looking down to him.
"Are you sure?"
"Hey, this is the exact street, and the address should be right here. What're ya lookin' for exactly?"
"Pastel Psychology Offices."
"You could try one of the alleyways, it might be hidden back there."
An alleyway? In Manehattan? Was this guy nuts?!
"Alright, thank you. I'll look there." I'd said in response, paying him the right amount for the trip before hopping out. Apparently, I was just as nuts.
As he pulled away, I began walking into a wider alley, darkened by surrounding buildings and shadows of taller ones. Electrical wires hung above, stringing between the brick structures. Many half-empty trash cans rested against the walls, one knocked over with some garbage lying about in my path.
With a scoff, my hoof reached down to scoop it all back into the dirtied steel can, lifting it back upright and shaking the hoof to get any remaining filth off. The last thing I'd want is to have some sort of disgusting piece of rotting food or something that could make me sick to the touch remaining on myself.
Sighing, I continued down through the alley, passing a dim flickering light and entering a wider area with a couple of back doors and staircases to the surrounding buildings where trash and other things were brought out—and possibly also where ponies have been robbed before, because contrary to popular belief in Equestria, Manehattan wasn't the nicest of cities. In the streets, maybe. The underground was another story—and I didn't mean the subway either.
Eventually, something did catch my eye. In the weak sunlight toward the end of the alleyway, near the dead end, read a sign lit in red and tan with a heart beneath. Taking the card out of my pocket, I took a glimpse at it, then back up at the sign. This was the place, and luckily still open.
Stepping up the small concrete stairs, I took the doorknob in my hoof and pushed inward. My expectations were that it was going to be all a scam and be a slummy criminal hideout of some sort. Boy, was I ever wrong.
Opening the door, the first thing I took note of was the scent of fresh mandarins and apples from some candles burning on the receptionist's desk, more of which on tiny wooden shelves hanging around the room.
The main waiting area was just as expected: simple pictures on the walls of architecture, scenery, and everything in between. Some chairs sat lined against two of the walls with small tables between them, magazines resting on them. It was the most basic of waiting rooms, although, the lighting created by the candles made it soothing and welcoming.
"Hello, sir!" Came a squeaky mare's voice to the side.
Blinking, my eyes met those of a smaller mare, sitting at the desk with her hooves crossed and a warm smile across her muzzle.
"H-hello," I stuttered a bit, stepping up to the desk.
"Are you here for an appointment?"
"I... well, not an appointment. Just... checking this place out is all," I glanced around, studying the room.
"Oh, I see! Well, would you like for me to set you up for an appointment with Doctor Pastel?"
Again, I blinked. "Is she in office right now?"
"Of course!"
"Is it possible that I could meet her and schedule something later?"
"Hmm... I will have to ask her. Wait here, please!"
Just like that, the little mare was gone, darting through a door and shutting it rather loudly. I winced, shrugging it off and waiting as told.
Within a moment's notice, the mare came back out and seated herself at the desk. "Doctor Pastel has requested you give her a few minutes, then you two shall talk."
"Alright. Thank you, ma'am."
The mare giggled, nodding.
"Have trouble finding us?" The mare asked in a bubbly tone.
"Not a whole lot, but, your location could be better," I said as I took a seat.
"Ah, yes. I ask that quite a lot. Plenty of ponies pass us by, which is why we're trying to put out more fliers saying where we are. Oh, well."
"I... see. So, why are you back here in this creepy alley?"
"Cheaper rent, things like that. Although, Doctor Pastel is working out trying to find office space somewhere... more open."
"Now that I can believe, but... surely it's cheaper in somewhere like Bronclyn, or Whinnistone?" I glanced up to the desk and the mare, who's eyes just barely topped it.
"Mm, perhaps. But, it's better to be somewhere with higher pony traffic, attracts more business, you know?"
"I don't think it would really matter, considering—" I stopped. "Nevermind."
At the desk, the telephone let out a single beep, the mare pressing a button and hearing a voice from the other side, inaudible to myself.
"Care for me to send him back now?" The mare asked. Again, words I could not make out followed. "Yes, ma'am." She then looked up at me. "Alright, Doctor Pastel will see you now. Just through that door right there and straight ahead."
Standing up, I gave a single nod. "Alright, thank you," before making my way through the door, shutting it gently behind me.
The hallway was nothing too special, although used electrical lighting rather than candles this time. There were a few other rooms on either side, all closed off, and the only one open—or semi-open—being presumably the doctor's.
Walking up to the door, my hoof politely knocked. Looking over, I saw an office chair turned and facing a small television screen broadcasting local news stations, the volume nearly completely muted.
"Come on in and take a seat," came a deep but soft older mare's voice.
Quietly I stepped into the room, seating myself at the doctor's desk and scooting forward. As I did, the monitor shut off, and the chair swiveled to face me. Resting back into it sat a fawn unicorn, mane styled in a couple of simple curls, and a very expensive-looking diamond necklace around her neck. Her semi-shut eyes scanned over me carefully, before narrowing.
"You seem familiar. Are you that pony from the naval station?" The mare asked, her voice slightly snarky.
"Yes, ma'am," I bobbed my head in two nods.
"A... Lance Corporal Star Shooter?" She read off of a piece of paper to her side, then once again eying me.
"Yes."
"So..." She put her hooves together. "I hear you are going through some trouble. Constant nightmares, flashbacks, and panic attacks, yes?"
Her tone made this conversation seem questionable. Because of it, my brow raised. "Yes, that's correct."
"Hmmph," the dark tan unicorn kept scrutinizing, as if I'd stolen something and I told her otherwise. "An appointment was not scheduled. Notice in advance is much appreciated."
"My apologies, this was a last minute decision, doctor. One... made rather abruptly," I finished with a colder tone.
"I see. Though, I do appreciate your will to come to me rather than somepony else."
"Actually, Doctor Haywalker referred me to you, his colleague, for a second opinion."
"Doctor Haywalker sent you?" Pastel's head slightly tilted. I nodded, and she sat back. "I have not heard from that stallion in quite some time."
"But... didn't he contact you to say I was coming?"
"I received a fax telling me so, although, the sender's information was not printed due to lack of ink. In that case, this changes the matter. Although, for me and him to speak, I will need to dig through the fax machine to get his office number. That should not be too hard, I pray."
"Okay, then," I nodded. "So, first appointment. What times are best suitable?"
"Well," the fawn mare picked up a couple of papers with a weekly schedule. "Truthfully, my only open times during the week are Tuesdays and Fridays, Tuesday being two to three, Friday being four to four forty-five."
"Friday is good. And this is once a week, right?"
"That is correct," Pastel nodded. "Once a week, we sit down and talk. First day we will discuss your problems, after that, ten minutes of explaining any changes, then the rest is between you and me."
I nodded in understanding, eying the mare carefully. "That sounds good."
"Sound good?"
"Yes."
"Perfect," she nodded once. "I do hope this won't be much of a nuisance to what I assume is a busy schedule you may have."
"It shouldn't be a problem if I explain it to my section sergeant."
"Right, of course," she nodded again. "Now, are there any questions you have?"
"How much per session?"
The mare cracked a small smile, then put a hoof to her chest just below her necklace and let out a bellowing chuckle. This made me stare with confusion.
"Sessions are of no cost to current and former military members. Instead we bill the military insurance companies."
"Wow, that's... really awesome," I smiled.
"That's how it should be. Any other questions?"
"Not at all."
"Then I suppose we are done here, for now. This Friday at four, yes?"
"This Friday at four."
"Perfect. I will see you then," Pastel gave a warm smile.
"Likewise, Doc." I replied, returning the smile, then leaving her office and out into the small lobby.
Passing the receptionist mare, I said to her, "Have a nice day."
"You, too!" She replied with that same bubbly tone, waving as I left.
In the blink of an eye, Pastel seemed to have changed the dynamic when I mentioned Doctor Haywalker. That was questionable.
Beyond that, I had a good feeling about this mare.