//------------------------------// // Chapter 67 // Story: The Perilous Romance of Swans // by kudzuhaiku //------------------------------// “Are we really going through with this?” Luna tilted her head and looked up at her big sister. The bandages had come off of her face and she looked a little better, but she was far from her usual self. “We’re still mid-crisis. We art having second thoughts.” When her speech slipped, Luna blushed for but a second, then recovered. “I think the real question is, are you going through with this?” Eyes narrowing with concern, Celestia looked down at her smaller sibling. Almost a week had passed since Luna had a building dropped upon her and being a good big sister, she felt a pang of worry for Luna. Of course, there were lots of other things to worry about, as far as Luna was concerned. “We don’t know what you mean,” Luna replied as she took a step back from her sister. “We.” Celestia said the word with a great deal of softness. “That is exactly my point. We. Us. The Royal We. The two of us. Engaged. Engaged to be married. You can back out of this, you know. We can find a way, if you aren’t comfortable.” “I…” Luna’s utterance came out as a squeak. “Yes, you,” Celestia said in a big sister-ish sort of voice. “Forget about duty for a moment, Luna. You’ve been dodging the issue for quite some time now. No more. The engagement gala happens in just a few more days. What do you want?” Turning, Luna tried to flee, but Celestia grabbed her and held her in magical bonds. Luna tried to teleport away, but Celestia prevented that from taking place. Knowing she was defeated, Luna’s ears drooped, and the smaller alicorn submitted to the larger. Luna’s wings fluttered at her sides, and she shuffled on her hooves, while limping on her bad leg. “I don’t know what I want,” Luna admitted in a soft, pained squeak. Hearing her sister’s words, Celestia’s expression softened, and her eyes locked on to the back of Luna’s head as though she was willing Luna to turn around. Celestia knew that a contest of wills was about to take place, and she was willing to outlast Luna, if necessary. Her jaw clenched and her ears pitched forwards, angling out over her face. “I like having him in the bed next to me.” Luna’s voice was little more than a shamed sounding whisper. “I like the comfort he brings me. I like that he hasn’t given up on me and he continues to try and win my affection, which he already has, but he doesn’t know it yet.” “So—” “Sister, please, be gentle with whatever it is you plan to say next.” Luna’s tone was pleading and the smaller blue alicorn turned around to face her bigger sister. The light streaming through the stained glass windows glimmered upon the tears building up in Luna’s eyes. “As I was saying, you do have feelings for him.” “How could I not?” Luna demanded, her mood shifting with a dramatic suddenness. “Then what is the problem?” Celestia asked, wary of her sister’s ever-changing moods. Luna’s mouth opened, but no words came out. She squeezed her eyes shut and her swollen face contorted in pain. One tear slipped out from her darkened, puffy, bruised eye and rolled down her cheek. Her barrel hitched and it caused her wings to twitch. “Please, if you would just talk to me when you get like this, things would be so much better.” Celestia extended a wing and reached out for her sister, moving to wipe away the tear, but Luna jerked her head away, somehow knowing what Celestia was about to do without seeing. “I w-w-want to love again,” Luna stammered as she fought to keep everything in. “I w-w-want us t-t-t-to be a f-f-f-f-family again.” “Then come and be a part of our family—” “I can’t.” Luna opened up her eyes and looked up at her big sister as more tears fell. “Why not?” Celestia asked as she advanced, determined to comfort Luna if it was the last thing she did this day. That, and get an answer. “I don’t get it, Luna. I know he comforts you. You sleep better with him beside you. You wake up well rested and chipper. With more rest, your mood swings aren’t as bad.” “You don’t understand!” Luna snapped as she backed away, all to aware of her sister Celestia’s touchy-feely approach. “Then just tell me!” The bigger white alicorn stopped, drew herself up to her full commanding height, and stared down at Luna, who froze in place, unable to move, her one eye wide with terror, the other eye still far too swollen to do so. “I have grown weary of you keeping me in the dark… ENOUGH! This will come into the light!” “I don’t want to hurt him!” Luna blurted out. “I’m so scared! I scared him once, I made him fear for his safety with me, and the guilt is unbearable! It hurts like nothing else! And I don’t want to sleep beside him, it scares me so—” “Why?” Celestia asked in a soft, calm voice. “Nightmares.” Luna moaned the word and blinked away the flood of tears. “I’m so worried that I’ll attack him in my sleep… or that I will kill him… it’s complicated for me!” A fierce hiccup caused Luna’s whole body to jerk and she winced in pain. “I want to be with him! I want to be with you! I want all of us to be together but I can’t deal with all of the stress and worry!” Saying nothing, Celestia snatched up Luna in a fierce wing embrace, sat down upon the floor, and pulled Luna down with her. When Luna fought and resisted, Celestia overpowered her, drew her in, and sighed with relief when Luna ceased to struggle. The bigger sister comforted the smaller, and Celestia did nothing to stop the tears that welled up in her own eyes. “Don’t give up on me,” Luna begged, “please don’t. I know I’m difficult.” “What am I going to do with you, little sister?” Wrapping her wings completely around Luna, Celestia held her sibling close. Her ears twitched as Luna sniffled and sobbed. She sat on the floor, neck to neck with Luna, once again waiting out the storm that had brought the flood. “I had a bad dream,” Luna murmured against Celestia’s neck. “I dreamed that I was seized by night terrors and I kicked Gosling in my sleep. I killed him… I killed him… and you… you were so angry… you made terrible accusations of me… you brought up everything from the past… and we fought.” “Luna, I just don’t know what I’m going to do with you.” “Take me to the kitchen and feed me pie?” Luna replied in what could only be described as a foalish voice, a voice that very few heard. Unable to hold back any longer, Luna collapsed and went limp against her sister, her barrel hitching, and her stomach muscles spasming as she wept. “I want to be loved again but I don’t feel worthy. I want to be a mother again, but I don’t trust myself.” “All those things are still possible.” Celestia’s voice was maternal, soft, gentle, soothing. She slipped a foreleg around Luna’s neck, pulled her close, and began to rub her sister, trying to bring her some comfort. “Pie?” Luna whimpered. “Yes, that’s possible too.” After a moment of consideration, Celestia added, “And a glass of milk.” As the two sisters comforted one another, a roaring, crackling blizzard flew down the hallway, coating everything in a layer of sheet ice. Neither sister moved, but Celestia did raise an eyebrow. The air was filled with the popping sound of ice and extreme cold. A hazy blue mist fizzled as it lingered in the now near frozen air. Celestia could see her breath and Luna developed a snotcicle hanging from her nose. “Things always get a little weird around here when school starts,” Celestia remarked in a matter-of-fact voice, sounding very blasé about what she had just witnessed. Her ears perked at the sound of giggling and laughter. She felt Luna’s body tense against her and she gave Luna a reassuring squeeze. A powerful gust of wind blew down the hallway, and Celestia’s brows furrowed in concern. The icy wind and the blizzard that just blew past indoors was a somewhat disconcerting sign. Twilight Sparkle, immortalised in stained glass, was now covered in frost. Celestia had a passing thought that Frozen Twilight Sparkle needed a carrot for a horn. And then, much to Celestia and Luna’s surprise, Gosling went blowing past, his wings spread to catch the wind like two sails, he went shooting past with terrific speed, his hooves skating on the ice, a whole train of foals clung to him, his hind legs, his tail, and Celestia felt Luna’s mouth drop open against her neck. The train of foals was quite long, and they all clung to one another as they went skating past. The hallway echoed with giggles as the impromptu pony ice train went blasting down the hall, propelled by wind spells, with a blizzard leading the way so everything would freeze over. A lone foal brought up the rear, a little bright yellow unicorn with large, round glasses, and she went shooting by while sitting on her backside, shrieking as the wind sent her surging forwards, connected to her peers with a long tether of magic. The little lavender alicorn made of stained glass and frosted in ice looked down upon the chaos with a serene expression that Celestia envied, her front legs spread wide in a beatific pose. Celestia snorted. Twilight was going to get hers someday, she had students of her own now. “What are we going to do with him?” Luna asked in a raspy whisper. “I’m going to have some words with Raven,” Celestia replied. “Why? Why Raven?” “Spend some time with the foals in the school,” Celestia said in a singsong voice. “It’ll be good for your stress levels, Gosling.” The big white alicorn rolled her eyes and then let out a disgusted snort as she heard the faint drip-drip of ice melting. “Do I still get my pie? And my glass of milk?” “Of course, Luna.” Celestia turned away from the chaos and looked down into her sister’s eyes. “And Luna…” “Yes?” “Before the engagement gala, maybe try going on a date with Gosling. It doesn’t have to be serious, it can be something fun. Do something that you feel comfortable with. Let him get to know the real you. Just try to be open and honest with him, please?” “Okay,” Luna replied in meek voice. “And talk to Cadance. I’m positive that she can offer some good advice.” Nodding her head, Luna sniffled a bit, then replied, “I will, I promise.” “Now, let’s go and get some pie. I’m starving.” Sitting in the kitchen, two sisters sat eating pie and drinking milk. Celestia’s lips were stained purple-red from the gooseberry and pomegranate pie, while Luna’s dark blue colouring managed to hide most of her discolouration. The world had actually fallen apart around them, there was a freak blizzard blasting through the hallways of the castle, and neither sister seemed particularly concerned about much of anything. This was sister time, an important time for both of them. During this time, everything else was pushed aside so they could focus upon one another, giving them a chance to bond and perhaps sort out their differences. Celestia poured herself another glass of milk and topped off Luna’s glass. During sister time, the bigger sister had the responsibility of looking after the needs of the smaller. At least, that was how it had always been. To a sharp eyed observer, there were differences that could be seen between the sisters. Celestia ate with a fork, cutting off reasonable sized bites of pie, while Luna ate with a spoon, attacking her pie and shoveling it in with gusto and a whole lot of lip smacking. There was also the fact that each sister had a whole half of pie in front of them. “I wantsh a famishly againsh,” Luna said around a mouthful of pie, spraying flaky crumbs everywhere. “Then have one,” Celestia replied, after she swallowed her mouthful of pie. “Itsh complishcated.” Luna crammed in more pie and her cheeks bulged. “I understand that.” Celestia took a prim bite of pie and watched her sister chew. Swallowing, Luna then belched with a ferocity that would make a dragon blush. She pointed her spoon at her sister and licked a bit of pie crust off of her nose. “I need time, sister. I’m trying to get things sorted out, I really am. I’ve been in therapy for my mood swings for a while, and also been talking about, well, you know.” Stabbing her pie with her spoon, Luna carved off an enormous bite and then crammed it into her mouth. “Luna, what would it take to get you to let your guard down and just be happy?” Still chewing, Luna looked her sister in the eye. She swallowed, chewed, gulped down a bit more, and then washed down the last bit with a swig of milk. She licked the milk from her muzzle, her tongue was a bright, vivid orange against the blue of her pelt, and her eyes glittered with emotion. “A sense of safety,” Luna replied. “I don’t follow, dear sister.” Luna sucked in a deep breath, licked her lips once more, then said, “A sense of safety. When I am ready, when I have everything sorted out, when I feel confident, I want Gosling to be durable enough for my advances. I don’t want to live in constant fear of kicking him and killing him in his sleep, or crushing him to death during a moment of passion.” “In the past, this wasn’t a problem—” “It is a problem now,” Luna said in a soft voice as she set down her spoon. “You don’t understand the worrisome scenarios I construct in my head.” “Actually, I do.” Celestia set down her fork and looked Luna in the eye. “I think about all the different ways our little ponies are going to hate me, no matter what I do for them. The constant fear and worry drives me to distraction.” “Exactly.” Luna watched as Celestia topped off both of their milk glasses once more. “So, I need reassurance.” “How?” Celestia asked, leaning forward over the table. “Do you really need to ask?” Luna’s voice was soft and sounded worried. Still looking her sister in the eye, Celestia nodded. “Gosling needs to be made more durable.” Luna let out a cough, swallowed, and then in a very low voice, she added, “Alicorns are far more durable than ponies. And to be honest, it was a problem in the past too, ‘tis the reason I prefered earth ponies. They were far more durable… and more stamina too.” “Luna—” “And when the time comes, I want to be the one who raises him,” Luna said, cutting her sister off. “I have been learning your animancy, your soul magic. You gave a tiny piece of your soul to Cadance, making her more like us. I wish to do that with Gosling, when the time comes.” “Luna, I, when I did that, I didn’t realise what it would do to her, just how much it would make her like us—” “I’m not being unreasonable, sister.” “I shall have to think upon this, Luna. Like you, I need a little time.” “I understand.” Luna bowed her head. “More than anything, Luna, I just want you to be happy.”