For realsies? Because I think this place is the worst.
I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve had to say that. It may as well be a daily affair by this point, although I honestly don’t know if… whatever you’d call this even has days. The only thing that I know for certain is that there's one rule to obey here: when there’s light, I must follow instructions. I move when I’m supposed to, speak only when the right time comes, and say the right thing at the right time, every time. No improvisations. No alterations. No differences in tone, facial expression, or even posture. Just say and do what I’m supposed to when I’m supposed to, just as I have for the past… however long it’s been since I’d first arrived here. It's all I know. I can't remember my life before this place. I don't how long I've been here. I can't even remember how I got to this point in the first place. All I know is that it’s been this way for as long as I can remember…
Oh, yeah? Well, I think you're—
Stop. Now it’s Dagi’s turn to speak. I don't pay much attention to what she says anymore. Why should I? I already know exactly what she and Aria will say until the end, after all. I don't need to listen very hard to know that she's talking about how unbearable it is in this world at the moment. Oh Sweet Starswirl, the irony is just rich. This world couldn’t be any more unbearable for me! Every time it resets, I feel like I might just go insane! I can only pretend to be an idiot saying the same stupid phrases over and over for so long! Even so… it's better than the alternative...
I 'unno.
That’s a lie. I know exactly what it is. After all, it’s always the same order of events: see Equestrian magic, join Canterlot High, corrupt all but a small group of seven, sing a few songs, gain power, get struck down, get booed as the crowd begins throwing things, and end it by running off.
That’s when it happens. Every time, we’ll be in the middle of running off, when all of a sudden… it stops. Everything stops. The world goes black as everything vanishes. People, animals, buildings, roads, trees… even Adagio and Aria vanish. And after everything is gone… eugh, I can’t help but shudder just thinking about it. For as tedious as following the instructions in the light can be, I would gladly take it over when everything goes dark. It's hard to explain, but every time everything vanishes... it’s like I no longer exist. Despite my best efforts, I can’t move, I can’t speak, I can’t feel my body, or anything at all. Even something as trivial as bringing my hands up to feel my face is beyond my capabilities when it’s dark.
The pain only makes matters worse. With every second I spend in the dark, I feel a sharp overwhelming pain all throughout me, as if my body is being crushed from all angles at once. It's not just physical pain, either. Every time I'm in the dark, I can only manage to feel heavy pings of icy despair washing over me like a tidal wave. It consumes me, and makes me feel as if my mind is constantly drowning while I'm in the dark, which makes it nearly impossible for me to focus on anything other than the pain. All I can do is attempt to endure the crushing sensation and mental anguish, praying for an end that never seems to come fast enough. Never in my life have I ever experienced anything that made me feel so… helpless…
Thankfully, it usually doesn’t last more than a few minutes. Sooner or later, the light will come again, the physical and mental anguish will temporarily recede, and I will find myself back in that same diner, wearing that same hoodie, and singing that same low melody until it’s time to begin speaking those same lines all over again. It’s enough to drive a girl crazy, but it doesn't matter. I have to do it. I know what’ll happen otherwise…
Hello? We sing, like, all the time! It's how we get people to do what we want.
The singing? Ugh, don’t even get me started on the singing. I’ve heard these same songs so many times that I could probably recite every single one of them by heart, if I were allowed. Battle of the Bands, Shake Your Tail, Under our Spell, Tricks up my Sleeve, Awesome as I Wanna Be, Welcome to the Show, Shine like Rainbows… I’ve sung some of these tunes for what feels like millions of times, and even for the ones I don’t sing, I still hear them every single time. I absolutely despise every single one of those songs, but at the same time, I feel I’d miss them if they ever vanished. Just like I miss her…
Ohhhh, yeah. Th-What she said I meant to say. That's what I meant. To say.
Oh yes… how could I ever forget her? After all, she’s the reason why I can’t ask for help. Why I know I must make each cycle as identical as possible. Why I still can’t force myself to ask Adagio or Aria about this so I can see if they even realize the never-ending cycle going on around them, or if it’s just me.
It’s funny though; for someone who’s so important to me, someone that I miss so much… I know almost nothing about her. I know what she looked like; she was a pink skinned girl with brown and blue hair that she always wore in a ponytail, who always wore a pale blue jacket, white shirt, and a light blue skirt with three pawprints on it, but that’s pretty much all I know. I don’t know what her personality was. I don’t know what her hobbies or interests were. Heck, I don’t even know what her name was. What I do know is that she was our first opponent every time we began the Battle of the Bands. Every time, she tried to outplay us on her violin, and every time, we blasted her away with our singing before moving on. Thinking about it now, it’s kind of a silly thing to remember, and maybe it really doesn’t matter, but... I can’t shake the feeling that our one interaction was important. That one time… when she talked to me…
Lunch?!
I still remember it vividly. It was just before we were to sing Under our Spell. As always, Adagio was telling us about how we were to save the good stuff for when our power was fully restored. At this point in time, I was paying careful attention to her every move, trying to figure out through her body language if she realized that our efforts would end in failure. Sadly, I saw no such sign of that; if she was like me and knew that our efforts would end in failure, her facial expressions did a great job hiding it, and I couldn't find a single difference between how she moved and acted on this run, and how she moved and acted last time. Eventually, we turned and walked towards our positions backstage… and then it happened. I messed up. Because I was so focused on Adagio's movements, I didn't look where I was going, and I accidentally bumped straight into that pretty looking pink-skinned girl. She must’ve been a lot lighter than I was, considering she was knocked backwards onto the floor while I was barely budged an inch. It was at that very moment that she did something I’d never seen anyone do before, something I didn’t even think was possible... she said something different.
“Hey, watch where you’re going!” she said to me. Although I didn’t allow myself to react to it on the outside, on the inside I was far beyond shocked. In every instance prior, the only time she opened her mouth and said something was when all the students were arguing after we sung our first song, at which point she would end up yelling at that white skinned girl with the sunglasses and the speaker car (Vinyl, I think is her name). Vinyl, however, didn't notice, as she was too busy listening to her music, bouncing her head up and down, completely oblivious to everyone around her as she sat there in her own little world. That was normal. That was her role.
But this? This was something new… words that she had never spoken before in any of the previous instances. Part of me wanted to say something back to her, but something deep inside my gut compelled me to rush next to Adagio and begin singing backup as per usual. I didn't want to leave the others hanging, so I rushed over to Adagio’s side so I could begin singing, arriving in my spot just before the curtains opened. Deep down, however, I made a mental note to apologize to that girl the next time I saw her, and maybe even begin a conversation with her. Y’know, to see if I really had more freedom here than I thought. I had no way of knowing that time when she spoke to me would be the last time I’d ever see her…
Oh. Right.
She didn't show up to face off with us that time. Instead of blasting her away with our singing like the other victorious bands did, we were just left with an empty stool where she normally sat. No one seemed to mind though, as the principals gave us the first round victory right away, never once asking where our opponent was. I took it in stride at first, figuring that this run would be a little different, and that she would just show up again when the cycle inevitably repeated, same as always.
I couldn’t have been more wrong.
For the rest of that run, and every run that followed, she was absent. Every time after that, we were left alone to menacingly blast away an empty stool. Every time we observed the crowds arguing, she was nowhere to be found. Heck, even when we were at the final bit before the world goes dark, where she was normally in the crowd, singing happily along with the Rainbooms final song while simultaneously wrapping her arm around another nearby girl, she was absent. The seat where she usually sat was empty, and oddly enough, the girl next to her didn’t even seem to realize that she was gone! I can't be sure what happened to her, but I do know that even after redoing this hundreds of times, I’ve yet to see her once, and even though I scan the scene as much as my limited mobility will allow each time, I can never spy anyone else who even seems to remember her ever being there in the first place...
But we can get lunch after though, right? It's Taco Tuesday!
I don’t even like tacos… at least, I don’t think I do. I honestly don't remember ever actually sitting down and trying them. All I know is that I feel my innards curl up in disgust every time I say the words ‘Taco Tuesday’. It doesn't matter, though. Every time I say it, I have to do my best to look like I’m delighted, incredibly excited for the bountiful harvest of tacos available. After all, those are the rules…
I have to follow them…
I don’t want to disappear…