Shining Armor had a problem. He had several problems, really, but he was trying to focus on just the one.
Even though his alibis were solid for both Ironhorn’s and Bruce’s murders, Dion had fled into the wilderness. Shining couldn’t say how, but he was was now absolutely certain that Dion was guilty. The action made no more sense than anything else had in the past few days, but there were too many coincidences, too many dangling threads drawn towards that one human. Somehow, he just knew that whatever was reported regarding the merchant’s disappearance would only confirm it.
Now he just had to find Dion among of the hundreds of tiny caves and hidden crevasses that backed the Unicorn Range and drag him out. There were plenty of maps, of course, and they’d all been brought out and pored over. But they told Shining nothing, and the tracking spells the guard were employing were giving nonsensical or conflicting returns.
Shining was privately glad Twilight had thrown herself into assisting the guards with their spellwork. She was looking more like herself again, now that she had a puzzle to unravel. He was also privately cursing the human looming over the opposite side of the table. He knew Malachi didn’t deserve his scorn for the actions of another, but a part of him wished these creatures had appeared somewhere far away from Equestria.
Malachi’s…marefriend?…was casting spells of her own, specialized tracking spells designed to work in the chaos of the Everfree. She seemed to be having better luck, and had indicated the general direction that Dion was likely moving in. Deeper into the range, and now…away from the mountains?
“But that makes no sense!”
The guards looked up at Armor’s exasperated outburst, and Far Sight had to translate for Malachi to follow along.
“The mountains are a perfect place to hide! If he’d guilty and he thinks we’re on to him, why isn’t he running as far from Canterlot as possible?”
He looked pointedly at Malachi, trying to hold back the accusations his thoughts were suggesting, and forced himself to calm down. Malachi didn’t react, only waving the tip of a long digit around the map ahead of Dion’s projected travel.
“What is…here?”
“...Nothing. There is no property registered in that area.” One of the clerks Shining had brought in answered for him, waving a clipboard.
“The brewery Dion was staying at before is in the opposite direction.” Supplied a pegasus guard, from where he was studying another map.
“No. There is something there.” Malachi was frowning now. “Dion does not run in fear. What is there? Murder…should….home…-”
The human broke off into frustrated, incomprehensible growling in his native tongue and began pacing, apparently lacking the words to communicate his thoughts properly. Far Sight looked like she wanted to stay close to him, but she continued her spellwork, and Armor felt himself drawn back to the map as something tugged at his memories.
Ironhorn…
Something that Malachi had said before…what was it…how would Dion even know what to do, where to go?
Dion and Ironhorn had never crossed paths, but it was too much of a coincidence that they both had interests in the same areas. They’d both set up-
For the second time that day, Armor started up with another storm of curses, but trailed off red-faced when he realized his sister was in earshot this time around.
“Somebody tell me where Ironhorn’s brewery was located.”
It took a few minutes for a guard to sort through a sheaf of papers, and the answer came as no surprise.
Shining Armor was taking no chances. Squads of pegasi wheeled overhead, and a wedge of heavily-armed royal guards spread out behind him. It was a small army by today’s standards, and Armor was taking no chances. The urge to keep Twilight out of this mess and the need for her help had landed her dead-center in the formation, where she’d be best protected, and she and Far Sight gave him constant updates on the results of their tracking spells. Alongside, Malachi kept pace with long strides and the help of some enchanted hoofwear.
“Home.”
“What was that, Malachi?”
“Learned from study. Men of evil focus on area around known place. Never leave unless they must. Home ground. Obsession. …Ritual.”
“You’re saying this place is important to him?”
“If I am right, everything will be there.”
“Everything?”
“Everything.”
They found the brewery weathered, but still in good shape. It was, Armor realized, not a bad hideout, somewhat isolated and unlikely that anyone would stumble across it except by accident. It was also likely to have deep and extensive cellars, allowing for all manner of unspeakable things to occur away from prying eyes.
A part of him wanted to just bombard it from afar. He quickly quashed that thought and turned to the accompanying unicorns.
“He’s in there. Underground.” Twilight nodded in agreement with Sight, who paused before continuing. “But I can’t give you anything more. Something is throwing off my spells, and I don’t think it’s the usual human qualities I’m familiar with.”
Armor turned back to face the old building, ran his mind through a list of scenarios he’d never expected to see in his lifetime, and began issuing orders.
Pegasi ranged above to prevent escape attempts. The upper floors were checked and cleared. Conjured simulacra moved ahead of the main push to trigger any mechanical traps. Obstructions were reduced to dust with precision disintegration or teleportation spells.
A phalanx of tense soldiers pushed forwards into the tunnels below, Armor in the lead, and ready for anything.
What Armor wasn’t expecting was Dion sitting casually in a pile of overstuffed pillows, alongside a half-dozen human girls in flimsy coverings, none of whom Armor recognized from his files. But they held his attention for only a moment.
Dion’s left arm cradled a short staff wrapped in ribbons and topped with a bulbous mass of something greenish-black…in which two unicorn horns had been crudely stuck.
“Shining Armor.” Dion took a gulp of offered wine before throwing his free hand upwards. “Welcome to my temple! The first of many!”
Armor stamped a hoof, and the Royal Guard fanned out. Malachi stepped forwards to stand alongside, drawing his axe.
“Dion.” Armor spat out the name. “You are offered one chance to surrender peacefully.”
Dion smiled and took another drink of wine.
“Surrender? To a…a mortal? I think not. Of course, you are wed to the divine, and champion of the sun and moon, but still, there are standards to uphold. And my name…is Dionysus.”
Armor spared a glance to his side. Malachi was staring at the other human, his grip tightening on his weapon. Apprehensive, uncomprehending, but with a wariness that told Armor in no uncertain terms that whatever nonsense tangent Dion/Dionysus was on, it did not bode well.
“But where are my manners? Please, you’ve come all this way…” Dion grasped the obscene object at his side. “Shining Armor, won’t you join me for a drink?”
Armor took a single step forwards before planting his hooves and throwing off the compulsion.
“After Chrysalis…I worked very hard so that I would never to be manipulated like that again.”
Though he tried to remain focused, the attack had left him shocked. Humans weren’t supposed to be capable of using magic!
Dion shrugged.
“Your divine bride’s blessings, no doubt. Regardless…do they extend to the sun’s dear student, though? Twilight Sparkle…” Once again putting careful emphasis into the pronunciation, Dion gestured with the staff. “Come and greet us.”
The response was an unladylike snort.
Dion’s expression darkened, and he pointed the horned staff at Malachi and abandoned all pretense of subtlety.
“Malachi, you will serve and protect me will all your might!”
=You know what’s really embarrassing? Besides getting tossed into My Little Pony of all places?=
Armor didn’t know the human language, but Malachi’s mocking tone told him volumes.
=Thinking you’re dreaming and deciding to use the nickname that you use in all your self-inserts. And then realizing you’re not dreaming and you’re stuck with the new name because going back on it would make for a really awkward conversation.=
Dion snarled as Malachi chuckled.
=Seriously, who the hell names their kid ‘Malachi’ these days?=
“If you won’t accept my hospitality…” Dion ground out from between clenched teeth. “Then perhaps my maeneds can entertain you.”
Four of the humans rose from the pillows bearing pitchers of wine. They smiled and walked forwards with a fearless, deliberate strut.
Malachi howled, and a split-second look allowed Armor to see the flash of realization in his eyes.
“Not human!”
Malachi dashed forwards, bringing his axe down in a measured cut that would have severed the female’s neck, but she met his charge with an impossible burst of speed, slamming into him with enough force to lift the much larger human off the ground and crash down somewhere out of sight.
Screams erupted from all around them, and well-trained reflexes saw shields snap up as more human women charged out of the darkness, slamming bodily into the hastily-erected barriers. The spells buckled but held, and the women’s shapes began to distort as the unicorns blasted them back one by one.
Shining Armor’s blood ran cold as pink flesh gave way to black chitin, and the swarm of changelings gathered for the next attack. He shook off his fear and planted his hooves, preparing to weather the assault even as a part of him bemoaned how he could have possibly overlooked the obvious explanation of magical shapeshifters being responsible for the inconsistencies of the past few days.
A squealing torso came flying out of the darkness, caught mid-transformation. The bisected changeling screeched in defiance and clawed its way back towards the shape that followed it. Malachi stepped back into view and settled things with a stomp, tearing away his ragged coat. Beneath it, undamaged, was magically-enhanced armor built to put the wearer on an equal footing with the monsters of the Everfree.
Armor registered then immediately turned his attention away from the changeling that had charged blindly into one of the many dagger-shaped invisible forcefields he had erected around his body. Where was -
He adjusted his shields as Dion swung the stolen horns in a wide arc, breaking apart a dozen casks and spraying steaming wine across the room. The boiling liquid slid harmlessly off the unicorn’s shields, but the unprotected changelings shrieked in pain, and the Royal Guard surged forwards at a shout from Armor to take advantage of the distraction. A few more words saw the quick reorganization of their formation, and Armor nearly blasted Malachi as he suddenly rushed forwards.
“Malachi! Wait!”
“Human evil…”
Dion looked at him with contempt, and urged the changelings flanking him forwards. Malachi only speed up and brought his axe to the ready.
“Is human responsibility!”