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// Why it hurts so bad 
// Story: Being Different Isn't So Bad 
// by Dr Equinox 
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Hey guys, I'm back again. Sorry for the wait, I had some family issues going on (still do actually) and that caused me some delay. Besides that, I think this chapter should actually clear some things up, like I said the last one would, except ill actually do it this time. Anyways, here's the chapter. 

-EDIT: I have some questions for you guys down in the authors note at the bottom and I would really appreciate if yall answered them for me.






The week after my strange dream was pleasant. I got to meet some animals, including, but not limited to: a bear, some birds, a ferret, a mice family, squirrels, and a tiny little bunny rabbit full of anger and hatred. It simple until that last one. I mean, he's just so angry and rude, like, all the time. It kinda miffs me to be honest, but not as much as being stuck here was. 

Now, don't get me wrong, I have literally given up my life so I could spend the rest of it with my dearest, but when you cant go anywhere and you've already learned half of the animals names, people like me tend to move around. So I thought about it and wondered... if there was a forest directly next to us, why not explore.	

I would later learn there are many reasons why you should not do that.

So, that brings me back to where I was now, traversing the mysterious forest, by my self. Of course I had talked to Flutters about it before I left, because I'm not stupid, and she warned me about the dangers hidden within, but did not ban me from entering. So I scooped up some guns (some being one) and began my quest. If your wondering how I got a gun without my gun bag, as that was still in their custody (or I just didn't know where it was), I had sneaked a pistol into my pockets, fully deceiving them by describing it as a trademark 'bulge' that came with the pants when anyone asked. I felt both proud and ashamed at my feat.

As I trekked through the bush I began to hear sounds. Some were clicks, some were snarls, I think I even heard some whispers at one point. This did not dissuade me however as I continued onward. My pace did slow a bit as lights started to shine in the darker areas. They followed my every move, cold and unnerving. As I switched from one light to the other I realized that they were eyes!

'Oh. I should have figured that out earlier.'

Once my revelation kicked in my hand was constantly hovering over my Makarov pistol, another relic of my old world. It wasn't the best out there and honestly, I would have preferred any other in my collection, but it was the smallest I had. There was also the smaller ammo supply, meaning I had a single magazine consisting of 8 bullets. Overall a last resort.

Now I know what many might be thinking about this. Why would I ever do something so stupid as to smuggle weaponry over to a town full of people who probably don't trust me while under the watchful eye of their government?! Well, honestly, I had no answer. It was an impulse thing and if they found out I would be in some serious trouble. I could get deported, imprisoned, or, hell, even get the death sentence, though that might be a little far. So what drove me to it? Was it a need for reassurance, a way out if things went downhill? How would I use it? Would I kill or only injure? All these and more ran through my head as I walked. There was one that kept repeating until it made itself my primary thought.

'Why did she let me leave with it?'

That made me, along with the atmosphere around me, suddenly stop. Why did she let me take it? I knew that she could see through the lie easily, she was very wise after all. So why let an alien bring a weapon to a town full of innocents where you had no idea what was going to happen? The only reason I could think of was it being a test. To see if I could really be trusted. Not with my equipment either, but with being safe around her subjects and friends. To see If I would turn out to be an ally or an adversary. Hmm. I've got to give her some credit. Either she's very trusting of her peoples capabilities, or very trusting in me.

If she really did trust me that much, then I think she's more optimistic that she should be. I had blatantly broken her trust and lied right to her face, and she knew. She knew I had taken the gun, breaching any trust made between us, and let it slide, just to see if I myself, could be trusted with the responsibility to handle it. Damm. She's got my respect.

That's why she was so assertive that day. She wanted to send that message, to say that she knew exactly what I was doing and warning me against using it wrongly. It made so much more sense now. It also made me feel like a dick. Any self pity I felt would have to wait for a moment though, as when I turned around to head back I found a lone figure in my way. No wait, scratch that, there's three. Nearly didn't see them there in the darkness.

They were like wolves but wooden. Best description I could make, honest. There eyes glowed a sickly familiar green, cold and angry as they stared at their prey. Their bodies were made entirely out of sticks with some green hues around some parts. The center one was slightly larger than the others, a leader I'd say. It was a step or so in front of the group and making its presence known by giving a deep growl. When it did so I whipped out my Makarov, firing a bullet right between the eyes.

The moment the bullet impacted it disassembled itself into a pile of unorganized sticks. The other two looked at their leader with surprise and fear, noting the impact wound, which now was a bundle of sticks, oozing a green substance. Taking initiative the one on the left fled in an instant while the other charged at me. I managed to get a shot in, hitting its shoulder only to stagger it slightly, before it lunged at me.

I rolled out of the out of the way, avoiding the majority of the damage as its hind claws scratched my left arm. Fortunately not my shooting arm. As I turned to face it I found that it was still looking away. Quickly grabbing a hold of the Makarov with both hands I aimed, only for a sudden pain to enter my body. It was as though a bolt of lightning struck me right in my spine, making my grip even tighter as my vision turned blurry and unfocused. I attempted to take aim as the wolf began to charge at me and fired, hearing a thud, yelp, and crash as it landed a few feet in front of me. Convincing myself it was dead I dropped the pistol to my side and laid down on my back.

The pain had not stopped and was now targeting my main muscle areas. It hurt to breath, much less move. All throughout the week I had been experiencing less attacks and it seemed to be looking up for me. Then this happens. It was a painful reminder that I was made for this world. That I was the alien here. It sucked to admit but I was the reason it hurt so bad. This was all on me. 

Things like that kept straying in and out through my subconscious, constantly reminding me of my place. I know dammit! I know I'm not welcome here! It sucks but what are you gonna do about it?! Nothing! Cause you cant! No matter how much either of us want it to happen you just... you cant just put everything back the way it was. That not how this works. It will never work out like that. No matter how much you may want it, the world wont go back... and if your not going forward, you'll be left behind. With all the other mistakes.

It was at this point that I realized I had been saying that out loud. And crying. My eyes stung and my throat burned, just to add to the list of body pains. It was just too much. I couldn't handle having to go through this. I was still mourning over the deaths of my friends, falling for a strange girl, and now I have to live in an entirely new world. I couldn't do it. It was too much.

But there was something about those last thoughts that stood out to me.

I had fallen for a strange and shy girl. She fell into my world with no prior knowledge of its existence. She was cold, clothe less, and above all else, alone.  She was scared, terrified. Then she met us, the gang and I. She lived with us, showing us so many things. How to appreciate what one has, how to listen and care for those around you, human or not. Even how to love. She did all this in an alien world sick with disease and full of deadly beast. And here I was, sitting on the floor complaining about things being too tough for me.

What in the hell was I doing?

If someone as meek and frightful as Fluttershy could adapt to an alien world then so could I! She didn't sit down and cry about it, she stood and faced it head on! Well, usually behind us but that's besides the point! If I ever want to show my face around her again and confidently profess my love to that woman I would have to man up! Deal with it! Your a man Jorge and you've got someone to meet!

With my inspiration now complete I slowly began to stand, denying my body's opposition any solace. Once my body stood full erect I marched over to my pistol, grabbed it, and walked home. At least until I heard a howl. Then I began to run to my goal, pretty fast if I must say. The burning in my legs hadn't faded completely but it wasn't as strong. The same went for the throbbing in my arms, which had died down. Even my chest felt free, breathing not labored any more than usual. 

It was a brand new day and a brand new me. I would take this world head on, not letting anything get in my way. I didn't need to be all down and grumpy when I could be happy and excited! This was a new world after all, so that meant exploring all I could. If I wanted my friends memory to be honored it wouldn't be by mourning over them and refusing there deaths. Only by accepting there deaths and cherishing the memories we had together could I honor them. That was it! This was no longer a prison but a field of freedom! I had taken way too long to realize that.

I smiled as I ran, feeling the wind flow into me. Like I said earlier, the world had not time for people stuck in the past and I certainly would not be left behind. Not while I still had a promise to keep. That promise, was to never, ever, give up. No matter what, even if defeat is certain, continue on anyways. Why be remembered as the one who surrendered when you could be known as one of the last men standing? 

As I neared the exit to the forest I could feel my muscles tensing, waiting to release steam. The strange thing is though, is that when I stopped running at the entrance I felt... hungry, sort of. It felt like releasing tension but also building it back up. The more I felt it the fuller I became. I don't know how long I had been standing there but once the feeling started to dull away I felt fulfilled. Like I had just eaten a whole days worth of meals in an hour. It was strange and I didn't know how to feel about it so I just walked back home.

Home.

Yeah. There's the word. Something I can actually mean in this world. Unfortunately I seemed to have spent way too much time in the forest and it was nearing night time. Funny, it felt like I only spent an hour or so in their but hey, whatcha gonna do am I right? 

Once I was near the home I saw the outside animals all gathering in their homes, settling down for the day. Following their lead I knocked on the door twice before opening it, announcing my presence. Inside was Flutters taking care of all the little furies that lived in her home, flying left and right getting food to each creature. Since she apparently didn't hear the knock or the door opening I just leaned on the wall and watched it all go down. It was truly fascinating to see the connection she shared between each and every one of the animals as she wished them a good night. It brought a smile to my face as she finished up the task at hand and turned to find me at the doorway.

"O-oh! Jorge, I didn't see you there! Where have you been?" I walked in and closed the door behind me, eyes finding it hard to focus on one place.

"Hey hon. Yeah, I lost track of time when I was in the forest, sorry about that. I think the trees are dece-"

"*gasp* Jorge your arm! What happened?!" She flew over and began to inspect me for any more damages.

"Oh yeah, so I got into a scuffle with some wooden wolf things and one got lucky."

"You fought Timberwolves? How far in did you go?" She flew away and into a cabinet full of medical supplies.

"Not that far I don't think and hey, I think I'll be fine without the medical grade equipment your rocking here."

"You could have gotten an infection or worse, and- wait did you fight them with your hands?!"

"Well, sort of. I actually wanted to talk to you about something so after your done with that could we just chill for a moment?"

"Oh, okay. I'll be right back." She flew back to the cabinet and searched for ... something.

"Ah, there it is!" She flew back to me with some rubbing alcohol or whatever its called and another bottle I couldn't identify.

"Now hold still, your shoulder is the worst so I need to get that first."

As she started to check over my shoulder I did a mental evaluation of my clothes. My shirt I was wearing had a hole in it on the left shoulder along with several scratches down the sleeve. I don't even remember how that happened. Before I could go into more detail she had reined my attention back to her.

"So what did you mean 'sort of' earlier?"

"Eh, its not something I'm necessarily proud of and I kind of regret it now."

"Jorge, what happened?"

"Okay, I'm gonna show you something I need you to promise to keep a level head. Ok?"

"I'm not going to judge you for your actions Jorge. Please, tell me what happened."

'You might change your mind when I show you...'

I reached into my pocket for my Makarov and laid it on a table stand nearby. Her reaction was better than what I was expecting, honestly.

"W-w- Jorge! What are you doing with that?! Didn't you agree to leave your guns with the Princesses for the time being?!"

"Yeah, yeah I did." After seeing my shameful face she calmed down and sat down next to me, the bandages conveniently done by that time.

"Then why would you take one anyways? I thought you trusted them Jorge. I thought you trusted me..."

"A-and I do, I really do! It's just, I had an impulse decision, and that led up to today and I got really emotional in the forest and... I'm sorry." I reached out pulled her close where she hid her face from me as she looked down.

"Hey, don't be sad. Please. I know, I know I messed up big time but I'm learning honey. This is all really weird to me and I'm trying my best to adapt but until today I didn't realize how easy it could have been if I just went along with it instead of pushing everything away."

Seeing her ears perk up I knew I had her attention.

"You know, I was planning on talking to the princesses as soon as possible about a few things. She knows about the pistol by the way."

"She does?"

"Yeah. I think she's testing me to see if I can handle it. The power that came with a gun ya know? To be honest, I don't know if I passed or not, considering I've used two bullets already, though I should be fine considering I haven't used it against a pony. What do you think?" This got her to look up at me, her large eyes staring into mine. Her body change had actually affected me, contrary to what I showed. I think I just needed a moment to deal with it all and bam, I'm fine.

"I think you need to be careful. This is still new to everyone, including you and me, so we should take it slow."

"As long as I'm with you, it doesn't matter to me how fast or slow we go because I'll be right there by your side."

"Oh stop you." I got a cute giggle out of her making me laugh as well.

"Never." I hugged her close and slowly stood up, surprising her.

"O-oh! Are we going upstairs?"

"Yup. I'm tired as all hell and could die for some cuddling right now."

After that we went upstairs did exactly that: Cuddle. It nice and comfortable, especially after I took my boots off. I had even got a little daring and took off my shirt, which only made it more comfy. This was what I looked forward to at the end of the day. Not just the cuddling, or the house, or the food, but her. She was worth it all. Even after all the shit I endured...

I'm glad I got to spend even a second with her.