I awoke no this wasn't being awake. This was nothing like that this was a void of sensation a torturous emptiness where all I could feel was pain a burning fiery pain delivered by Celestia. I could see nothing, hear nothing, smell nothing and feel only pain. This was like sleeping while fully conscious with pain added on. I hoped for death.
I waited and waited some more but death did not arrive and I wondered how much time had passed a minute an hour a day I had no idea Maybe this was death and you forever felt the pain of what killed you. My Aunt Tale Weaver's stories of an afterlife had been just stories meant to calm a young spiderlings who worried about death. That seemed cruel of her to do so.
Then I tasted something i could taste and so I decided I must be alive after all. I started to think that maybe I was not the farthest away from Celestia and that some member of my family had survived by being outside the blast range. That they had looked for survivors and somehow realized I was by some impossibility alive. Perhaps they had found more than one survivor. Maybe our clan could be rebuilt with us as it's new leaders.
But that was something that could happen latter for know what I knew was that this terrible pain and total lack of feeling anything else would continue to be my future until I molted or died. Most likely I would die but the thought that I had surviving family made me want to live.
Out of things to do for the immediate time I started counting one, two, three …
… nine hundred ninety-nine thousand, nine hundred ninety-seven, nine hundred ninety-nine thousand, nine hundred ninety-eight, nine hundred ninety-nine thousand, nine hundred ninety-nine, one million
My counting was interrupted by the taste of something unfamiliar I wondered if I was going to be feed every one million
one million and one, one million and two …
...one million, nine hundred ninety-nine thousand, nine hundred ninety-nine, two million and food again. I am feed every one million I stopped counting to wonder if it was driving me mad or keeping me sane. I decided on sane counting was better than nothingness and pain so I started once more. One two ...