//------------------------------// // Don't do it, bro!! // Story: Spike the stallion // by Wonder //------------------------------// "What the heck are we going to do now?" Scootaloo huffed as the trio attempted to extract twigs and leaves out of their manes. Thankfully the trio had fallen on the bush under Sweetie's window so they didn't get hurt but now they had to go through the annoying process of removing pieces of plant from themselves. At least they weren't covered in sap this time. "I was all excited to have a sleepover and whatever." "How am I supposed to know?!" Sweetie yelped as she pulled out a twig which had decided that if it was going down, it was taking her hair with it. The young mare winced as some of her hair was torn free. "It's not as if I had a backup plan in case she returned." "Maybe we could move the sleepover to one of our houses." Apple Bloom gestured to Scootaloo and herself. "Yeah, that sounds totally awesome!" Scootaloo hopped in the air, using her little wings to keep herself floating for a moment longer before plodding back on the ground. "Why don't we have it at your place? We've never had a sleepover at your house before..." Apple Bloom tapped her chin in thought before continuing. "Actually, now that I think about it... I don't think we've ever been to your house before." "What? Of course you've been to my house. What about that time we-" "Nope, I think Bloom is right. Whenever we plan to go to your place something comes up." "You guys have never been to my place? Seriously?" Scootaloo looked at them in surprise. "How have we been to both of yours but not to mine?" "Oh, that's easy!" Pinkie Pie poked her head out of a nearby mailbox, soon pulling her whole body out. "It's because it has never been relevant to the story so they just left it out. There's actually a lot of fan theories about it. A lot involve child abuse but many others think she's homeless or that her parents are dead. They'll probably drop it on us eventually." Pinkie moved her hooves about casually as she talked. "Kinda like how no one ever mentioned Fluttershy's brother until the episode he appeared, even though Rainbow has apparently know about him for ages. I didn't even know I had a sister named Maud until they added her in later on. I'm so glad they did though. I love my sister soooo much." Pinkie let out a loud squee before disappearing back into the fifth plane of chaos. The three fillies looked between each other in something akin to confusion, except this emotion came with a mild headache. Pinkie was hard to understand most of the time without her breaking the laws of physics. This was just painful to think about. "Did she just say I wasn't relevant?" Scootaloo said after several minutes of confusion. "What I like?" Spike tapped his chin thought. "Well, I guess The Power Ponies. They're pretty cool. There was this one issue where Filly Second was forced to-" "Yes yes, very interesting dear but I was thinking in more of a fashion sense. Maybe something you saw once that caught your fancy, perhaps?" Rarity interrupted her customer for what must have been the seventh time. He didn't seem to mind though. Spike was content to just talk to her. What are you doing? The voice in Rarity's head hissed. You're supposed to learn about his likes and dislikes. What if he doesn't know anything about fashion, have you thought about that? The true mark of a fashion designer is her ability to know her customers. She hated to admit it but the voice in her head was right. "Well I did see this awesome helmet when I went to the crystal empire. It was so cool." Spike grinned. "It had awesome gold tri-" "Yes, very... interesting." Rarity cringed. "Helmets aren't really fashionable though. Maybe a few hundred years ago, but now? No no and no.He seems to like medieval items. Maybe you could work with that? "Perhaps I could modify a cowl into something more modern? With I little work it would look quite fetching." "What's a cowl?" Spike looked at Rarity oddly. He had heard her mention a few types of clothing while helping her with work but she had never mentioned one of those before. Maybe it was a combination of an owl and a cow? What would that look like? "It's nothing special. It's basically a half a cloak. Apparently it was a thing a while ago." Rarity recalled seeing one in the hearths warming eve play. "A long while ago. If that isn't too your liking, mayhaps there something else you like." "I do like gems. Especial rubies." Spike licked his lips as his stomach growled in agreement. "Yes! This I can work with. I can happily say I am quite knowledgeable on gems when it comes to fashion." Rarity smile as she tilted her body and showed of her cutie mark. Spike couldn't help but stare but probably not in the way Rarity would have liked. Thankfully Rarity didn't notice. "Now, if I can just figure out-" "How about armour? Could you make me some armour? That would be pretty cool." Spike grinned. "Armour?!" Rarity recoiled as if she had be slapped. "Surely you can't be serious, darling. Why would you wish for armour? What event could you possibly attend that would require armour?" Well, Ponyville is next to the Everfree forest. The voice in her head reminded her. "I dunno. It just looks cool. Don't you make clothes because they look nice?" "But armour isn't clothing. Armour is armour. I don't do armour." Rarity shuddered at the mere thought. It had been hard enough designing Rainbow's idea of a dress for the Gala. "Aw, that sucks." A light chuckle escaped the stallions lips. "I was hoping for something cool." "Look around you." Rarity gesture to the clothes lining the shop. "There must be something that appeals to your tastes." "Not really. You make awesome dresses and all but I'm just not much for fancy stuff." "There must be something I can do!" Rarity grabbed Spike by the withers, her face barely a hoofs distance away from his. "There must be something in this entire store that you like!" Spike shuffled his hooves nervously. Well there is one thing. Spike thought to himself. What the hell! Why was he talking about fashion? He could do that any day! For all he knew, this would be the only time Twilight would ever turn him into a pony again. "Well, there is something I... kinda like." Spike blushed, the red in his cheeks showing through his coat. "Perfect! What was it you had in mind, darling?" Rarity beamed at the prospect of finally making a sale. A little voice is Spike he screamed at him. "Dude, don't do it?! I know what you're thinking bro but don't. Don't be stupid. Only the friend-zone lies down that path!" Alas, like most entities with his level of maturity they don't listen to logic so it was with great embarrassment and bright red cheeks that the purple coated ex-dragon spoke these words. "Are you doing anything tonight?"