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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
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The wasteland is dark and full of terror... But damn how would I wish that fewer people would die in it. Just as GoT does the death ratio have the effect that new chars are meh since they are properly going to die soon anyway, chapter point i case.
Nitpicks:
"She maketh me lie down in green pastures. " Someone stole your linebreak before this chapter
"“Yeah, Symph.” Joab emerged from a thick patch of shadow" Another missing linebreak
"Her eyes instantly cooled off" You have written the whole paragraph twice
"Yeah, I did know" Another missing linebreak
"It did make me curious as to why there was an epitaph at all bearing his name…." Ellipses with 4 dots we meet again!
"Because he was a stallion of the Goddess!" Linebreak problems yet again.
"So what of the few?" Damn whatever you wrote this in must not like fimfic for all of the linebreak problems happening