W-What is this?

This is what we call an "exposition dump". I recommend trying to fit all of the information in here as part of the story, instead of just telling us all at once. Don't tell us who is smart, and who is gay, or any of that. Let us figure that out by how the characters act. It seemed like you were starting to have something toward incorporating a narrative, but you dropped it as soon as it came up.

Also, your narrator seems a bit like he is super edgy. For some people, that is appealing, I just know that it can be a turn off to have a character that is nothing but a soldier. They don't seem 3-dimensional, and they become a little bit stereotypical because they are that kind of a paragon of soldier. It might be good to expand on them so they stand out from other edgy soldier badasses.