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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Its rare to see the prologue told from the main characters viewpoint, even the prologue to the original was told by Kkat so far I remember, and I can see why with how this is written. The prologue should either focus on showing the characters background, think about the intros on series that tell about the characters that we are gonna see, or focus about teaching us the setting since there will be so much new stuff happening, think about game intros that show what the heck we are going into, them setting a mood more than showing us personality traits and such of the main characters. Mixing them up like this is no good, we do not get a full picture of either setting or character, and the high focus on certain details (what the Enclave is) and not telling more about megaspells or the war is really odd, and I would say that the comment about politics and higher class ponies being the end of Equestria outright wrong, but then again is it long time since that I read the original. I remember it as them all wanting a better life, opening Pandoras box in search of something better, and releasing all of the horors that technology can bring a world of magic. Giving a finitive tool to a people that are used to infinitvie magical energy and full control over the nature, and finer tools to manipulate the world around them with... The road to hell is paved with good intentions as they say
Nipick:
"those who deliberately disobey the strict laws of the pegasi are branded with the ministry mare’s cutie mark and considered a Dashite." were or would be