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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Alright, you got me.
...continue.
Yeah, see, this is why I wait for the second version of new tech to come out. Slowtrot seems like he's saddled with them for the time being, but I can't help but think that him being labeled as a courier is going to come into play sometime in the near future! Second chapter was good, can't wait for a third!
5429561 that's the idea, I was going to use something other then courier, but it just fit in what I want to do with the character down the road. But thinks, I was worried that this chapter was going to be too much of an info dump, I'm just glad I caught a bunch of inconsistencies and added more character to the characters before saying I was fully per-editor finished. I literally went back and redid what I put down for most of the character, something I'm going to try to avoid in Ch 3.
This is awesome. That Pink Eyes reference...
Anyway, I'm just loving this. It looks like the story's gonna be a little more light-hearted than most other Fo:E sidefics, which is something I always like. I'll get editing this at some point. A quick note, though: I did change a 2500 to 2600 in the edited version of chapter 1, thinking it was a typo, and the title in the chapter list still says 'capter'. You should go back and amend that.
All right. This has actually inspired me to stop procrastinating and go back to editing Skyward. There's a lot I need to do before I can get the story back on track.
5430475 actually the announcer dose call it a 2500 when it was a 2600, the 2600 was never meant for the open market. I have plans to explain this later in the story, as well as reference to other pipbucks, which sould be easy now that Slowtrot is working with the Pipbuck R&D lab.
but thinks, I'll get on that corrections.
Was listening to this chapter via text to speak in the car on the ride to work. Got a little uncomfortable (in a good way) after Candy Pop got going as I got cost to my destination. Chems or not, I'd pop dat. She seems very much my type of character.
Will finish listening on the way back.
Fun fic.
Hooking status at 20%
This is looking good :) the story seems to have potential. But i found some things that may need editing
The first thing is when Slowtrout mentions that he was told that the pipbuck was killing thing. I think that this was not mentioned before
Some typos:
galcned - glaced
ether - either
Other then one question - other THAN one question
Correct me if I am wrong, but the goal with Stable-tec was not so much saving the ponies of today but the ponies of tomorrow. Save every living pony from the war and they would just repeat it when the land was back to normal again, so they went up and beyond and tried to fix the ponies, to fix them so war would never happen again. But as the saying goes "The road to hell is paved with good intentions", and a lot of the experiments did only work on paper, thought up by 3 little innocent and naive fillies that wanted all to be friends again. Ohh and that Diamond Tiara cameo made me laugh out loud, good job on that, here have a gold star!
Pink Eye reference? Here have another golden star and a puppy smile!
Nitpicks:
"I my have a ton of free time right now" Delete
"who as she?" was
" Not that I mind the view." Minded
"Candy Pop sat on the desk and opens her upper legs for a hug." Opened or spread
"he's ready for whatever you want him to for" Delete
""Thanks miss, but can you tell me what's going on, the young mare there told me that this PipBuck almost killed me."... Umm... no she didn't, re-read the chapter up to that point and she said that he was a brainfart, but not that it was because of the PipBuck
"I.. I should get some sleep" Need an extra period.
"
Can you blame for smiling at their bullies burning to death? Though silver spoon apparently became a blind ghoul who still looks for rusted fake jewelry (the other one)
9421154
If you have ever looked into Diamond Tiara's Fate, then you wouldn't be saying this. Her Fate is quite tragic and Silver Spoons is even more so, 200 years a Ghoul looking for a Friend that never made it.
It's a compound mix of adrenalin, Buck, caffeine, along with a bunch of vitamins, liquefied
I need some of his in my life! Also I love the book so far
Someone who reads a lot, LB
so the nurse lolipop gave just a nice dose of consentraded red bull xD
they wanted him designated as lab rat xD
dam scootaloothe hate for DT and SS is strong in you