Walls crumbled, and great towers of glass and steel came tumbling down as men and women sunk to their knees clutching their heads as they screamed towards the burning sky.

“Why?” Twilight asked, as the barrier spell raged behind her. “Why should I save them?”

A thousand lies spun through my head, but I couldn’t find the words to save my home. Twilight scoffed and turned away, drawing magic to her horn. The barrier reared up, the roiling mass of spellwork rising to a fever pitch of discordant light and twisted geometry before--

My eyes flicked open.

For a moment I lay on my narrow bedroll, dead still, as if a single twitch would bring the nightmare crashing back down upon me. Nothing happened, though, and a cold shudder passed down the length of my spine.

I heard the clatter of heavy hooffalls approach and finally summoned the will to move.

“You are troubled,” Princess Luna observed, looking down at me. It was not a question. The Princess of the Night stood silhouetted before the predawn sky; she was not in her usual court regalia but instead bore just a simple silver coronet, though with two bat-winged guards flanking her she still struck an imposing figure. An uneasy tremble spread through my wings as I eyed the guards; for the sake of the Club I was glad the leathery wings were just a cosmetic enhancement, and not yet another subspecies.

“Yeah, I’ve had a rough few days,” I observed, sighing. One of the guards shot me a pointed glare. “Princess,” I added.

A small frown crossed her face. “Do you wish for my assistance?”

I shook my head, pushing myself to my hooves. “No, you’ve done more than enough for me already. Besides, your Highness, I should be getting up already.”

“Yes, it would not do well to linger so close to the heart of Chrysalis’ power,” Luna observed, gazing out over the plain. “She is not so easily humbled.” Said the mare who had managed to summon an entire illusionary army as a distraction.

“Thank you,” I interjected. I seemed to catch her by surprise, so I continued. “For coming out to save us. The Club owes you and your sister a lot for everything you’ve done but... well. Thanks for saving my life. I owe you one.”

“Neigh,” Luna declared, waving me off. “The defence of our subjects is always of utmost importance. And--” She leaned close and dropped into a conspiratorial whisper. “--I am more than grateful for a chance at a bit of well justified revenge on that blasted creature, Chrysalis.” She shook herself. “If she thinks I will just laugh off that silence spell, she has another thing coming.”

Huh, so Luna had slept through the Changeling invasion. Chalk up one more for the fanon.

“Well, at least yesterday we gave her a bloody nose,” I said, shuddering as the memories of the running battle drifted back to me.

Luna looked blank.

“It’s a human expression,” I explained. “For after you’ve landed a good punch.”

“Ah, a most valiant phrase then,” she exclaimed, beaming at me. “It is good your Club still bears vigor; sometimes we despair for Equestria’s once great martial heart.”

For a moment I just looked at her. I’d meet Luna once before, on a fairly routine trip to Canterlot to explain the situation of our Club before the royal court, but there she’d seemed listless, bored even. With her sword at her side, though sword may not have been the right term for the hiltless blades unicorns liked to hurl around in combat, she seemed the very image of a warrior princess, animate and eager for another round.

I couldn’t bring myself to tell her just how scared I’d been.

“Well, I should probably go find breakfast,” I said at last, dodging the issue. “And I guess you need to lower the moon or something.”

“I would not be so rude to set the Buffalo's moon for them,” she explained, smiling. “They were a proud people in my day, and the years seemed to have done nothing but harden their coats.”

I blinked. One of these days I needed to sit down the with an encylopedia and Twilight Sparkle and figure out how the hell physics worked in Equestria. I did not have the time, nor the patience just then so let, yet another absurdity pass without comment.

“Well in that case, thank you again, Princess. I’ll be off.”

“And I must be about,” she agreed. “Your young friend Crystal Cog has agreed to talk me through one of his wonderful repulsors.”

With a spring in her step, Luna trotted off. I was beginning to understand how they lured Luna on this madcap trip. Shaking my head I furled my bedroll, shook a few loose feathers out of my wings, which were in dire need of preening, and wandered away from camp.

The camp was a fairly large affair; Thunderchild was not really big enough for the entire crew to sleep on the deck, not without getting in everyone’s way, so we’d stopped for the night on a high cliff, next to a long forgotten cairn and overlooking the rugged plains of the badlands. It was not friendly territory; by the early morning the sun would be doing it’s best to bleach our coats white and we had only what water carried in the Thunderchild’s belly. Even worse were the locals; the wildlife so far had been scorpions and bigger scorpions and we were still close enough to Chrysalis’ hive for her to be a threat, but we were deep within the Buffalo lands, and those guys were significantly less friendly in person than on the show, or so I’d heard.

The cliff arced around in front of the cairn and I found myself walking around the ancient stones. The path didn’t go far, but far enough for me to find a moment’s solitude. It seemed silly to me, to still be trying to fit together the events of the previous day into my mind; it wasn’t like I’d done anything more the previous day than sit in Thunderchild’s small cabin while everyone else busied themselves with saving everyone’s lives.

I sighed.

Well almost everyone’s. Mathew Win had vanished after being dashed against the ground in the chase, and given the speed we were going... well, pegasi didn’t tend to walk away from broken necks, unless your name is Rainbow Dash. Ivory Flash, one of Star Charge’s followers had met his end before Chrysalis’ magics, and the only consolation there was at least it had been swift. Joy Hutter had been less lucky. A unicorn, she had caught a thigh length splinter and bled out before anyone could reach her.

Three names I would never let myself forget. I couldn’t for the life of me figure out why they’d had to die. The selfish part of me was eternally grateful for the chance to live, as I’d have never escaped without their sacrifice, and the pragmatic pointed out that the Club couldn’t just let Chrysalis’ get away with my kidnap, not if we didn’t want to become a free meal for all the other supernatural monsters lurking on the fringes of Equestria. But in the end, three lives for two... five lives if you counted Rose’s two drones who had, long before the madness that was my life infected them, been living breathing humans with hopes, dreams and families.

“Hold it!”

I froze, hoof raised before me as Pinkie Pie gambled over.

“Silly filly,” she exclaimed, hustling me back. “You almost added hoofprints to the flower arrangement.”

I blinked. Lost in my thoughts I’d almost stumbled into... well I wasn’t quite sure. Surrounding the pink pony were hundreds of lines scratched in the dirt, but whether she’d been doodling, trying to contact aliens or summon a hellbeast, I couldn’t tell. As it was Pinkie, it could have been any of them.

“Umm, Pinkie, what is this?” I asked at last.

“Durh, my party plan!” she chirped, bouncing on the spot and jabbed a hoof at a sea of squiggles. “See over here we have the Hors d'oeuvres, as Rarity likes to call them, I call them food but apparently that’s wrong. We’ve got all kinds of human themed food, chips, dips, sticks and stones, veggie sausages, and buckets and buckets of hayfries.” She lept from the array and over to my side, dragging me over to another cluster. “Over there we have the banners, oh, though I don’t have the bunting worked out yet so ignore that.” She dragged me further. “And-- And! Over here we’ve got the flowers! Joy was the only one who’s flower choice I knew, so I went with tulips as a nice neutral taste, and they look nice too, which is always important when you’re planning these things...”

I tried to make sense of the mess, but if there was any order in the chaos, it would have take the Elements of Harmony to unlock it. Shaking my head I sighed. “Pinkie, what’s this all for?”

“For the memorial party, silly,” she replied, draping a hoof over my shoulders.

I blinked, for a moment my mouth worked without a peep escaping. “This is a funeral?” I exclaimed.

“Yeperoony,” Pinkie cheered, bouncing on the spot, still holding on to me. “Only the best memorial that Ponyville has ever seen. Well, maybe not the best, Oliver Apple’s got the whole town to attend, but I bet we can get the whole Club there.”

Shaking my head, I pushed her off me with a wing. “I’ll be honest, Pinkie, I’ve never seen you as a funeral type of pony.”

“Hey! I’m the premier party planner in all of Ponyville,” she snapped, jabbing me with a hoof. “And that doesn’t just mean the birthdays, it means all those awkward graduation parties, those horrible office socials and the final goodbyes.” She smiled fondly for a moment. “Those are the hardest to get right. But they’re also the ones you need to do...”

Pinkie sighed and looked down at her hooves, her hair already starting to deflate. I put a foreleg around her and pulled the party pony into a hug, which she neither resisted nor reciprocated.

We stood there together for a long time.

“Should I ask who’s funeral it was?” I said at last.

“I’d rather you didn’t,” she replied, offering a weak smile. “It was a long time ago now... Though I seem to be holding more of these than I used to.”

I cocked a brow at her.

“It’s the curse of being an Element Bearer,” she explained, the usual bounce completely gone from her voice. “You’re destined to save the world, but not everypony around you is so lucky. Sometimes you don’t get to save them all.”

Another silence stretched.

“You’re a stronger woman than I, Pinkie,” I said, gazing over the incomprehensible wake before me.

“Oh, it’s easier than you think. So giggle at the ghosties,” she sang.

“Guffaw as the ghosties,” I echoed, mournfully.

Pinkie sniggered. “That’s not right,” she chided. “I didn't rhyme ghosties with ghosties.”

“I’ll be honest, I don’t have...” I paused, then shot her a funny look. “Wait, that song actually happened?”

“Well duh,” she chirped, bouncing away from me. “Of course it happened. Those trees were like--” She reared up on her hind legs. “--’Rawargalsnaple!’ And the girls were like, ‘eeek!’ But then I got the beat and started laughing and those nasty trees didn’t know what hit them!” She rounded on me, beaming. “And that’s how Equestria was made!”

I blinked, and shot her a look. “Has the Club been reading MLP transcripts to you again?”

She giggled. “Maaaybe.”

I had to laugh. The world was ending. Three people under my protection had died trying to save my life. And I’d spent the better part of the week hanging upside down, with a giant bug picking over my brain. Pinkie Pie however, still made me laugh.

I kept laughing.

Just laughing.

Laughing till there were tears in my eyes and then laughing until I was a sobbing mess in Pinkie’s grasp. After that it was nothing but tears, sobs and self recrimination.

The sun had risen by the time I finally cried myself out.

“I can’t do it,” I said, at long last. I lay on my belly at the edge of the cliff, staring out over the rust red hills of the badlands. “I’m not a hero, Pinkie. I never wanted to be one. I don’t even have a destiny--” I spared a glance for my still blank flank. “--let alone one to save the world. When push came to shove, I sat there like a sack of potatoes and let people die.”

I could feel myself being to tear up again, and then Pinkie bopped me on the head.

“Hey!” I slapped her, cuffing her with a wing, though I might as well have hit a boulder.

“Silly,” she chided. “And you can say you’re not a hero all you want, but you were the one that broke out of the Hive. You were the one that saved Rose from Chrysalis’ mob. You threw yourself across dimensions to try and save somepony’s life.”

I sighed. Well, time to correct a few assumptions. “It was Rose’s plan that got us out of the Hive,” I told her, staring into the distance. “And half the Club tried to save her from the mob along with me.”

“But you still chased the Jet,” Pinkie pointed out.

“Which almost killed me,” I snapped, trying and failing to repress a shudder. “Face it, Pinkie. I’m not cut out for this. I’m barely able to keep the Club fed, let alone be worth their lives!”

Pinkie gave me a knowing smile. I found it incredibly aggravating.

“There’s two dozen ponies back there who think you’re wrong,” she told me in a sing song voice, then hopped to her feet. “And you can’t be a grumpy no-pants and say that isn’t because of what you’ve done.”

I glared at her. “You know Twilight put me in charge of the Club, right?” I snapped.

“Actually, that’s not the entire story,” Twilight interjected.

I jumped, never the smartest thing to do while on the edge of a cliff, and fortunately for my racing heart, Pinkie caught me by the tail before I went tumbling.

After a few moments frantic scrabbling I found my feet firmly on solid ground again and rounded on Twilight, who was looking a little sheepish. “Twilight!” I snapped. “I could have fallen to my death!”

She shot me a flat look, then unfurled her wings a little. I glanced over my shoulder at my own wings, which were half open and ready for flight.

“Okay, fine. Give me some warning next time though.”

Twilight tittered. “Will do. And I was just going to say, while I may have suggested to several ponies to form such a club, you were the only one who made it more than a day.”

I sighed. Damn cheery Equestrians. Can’t live with them, can’t undermine their arguments.

“Fine,” I grumbled. “Did you need us for something, Princess?”

Twilight trotted over, stepping deftly around Pinkie’s party plan. “Well, I did want to see how you were doing, Alex. Luna said you were having nightmares.”

“Is there no right to privacy in Equestria?” I grumbled. Twilight’s eyes went wide. “Eh don’t worry about it,” I added hastily. “It’s not like it would have been much of a guess.”

“Quite...” Twilight shuffled her hooves for a moment. “Um, I brought you something that might help cheer you up it’s--” She pulled my minifigure out of her saddlebags with her magic.

I felt my breath catch in my throat. The figure would not have been remarkable on Earth, it was perhaps, six inches tall and depicted a gen. four pegasus pony in vinyl. It was slightly chubby, an off-white in colour, and the mane and tail were a pencil grey; its outstretched wings were dappled with brown dots, not unlike a snowy owl’s, and its flank was notably bare of a cutie mark.

It was my figurine.

It was me.

I hurled myself forwards, wings spread wide and, before Twilight could even blink, I’d snatched the figure out of the air with my teeth and leapt back. I furled my wings hurriedly, dropping my little plastic mini-me into the fold of feathers, the pegasi equivalent of tucking something in your armpit.

“Huh, I don’t think I’ve seen anypony move that fast since we dangled a Daring Do novel in front of Dash,” Twilight observed. I paid her no attention whatsoever, head still stuck in my wing as I poured over the figure, checking for any nicks or scrapes.

“Where did you get this?” I snapped at her, finally satisfied that it hadn’t picked up any new marks.

“I... Well, your home, but...”

“Do you have any idea what this is?” I screamed, stamping my hooves.

“Not really, that was going to be my next...”

“This is me, Twilight!” I snapped, beginning to pace in agitation. “Or it was, and now... argh! Why did you-- I mean-- When did--”

Twilight grabbed me by the tail and dragged me over to her. “Alex! Calm down. Everything is fine.”

I stopped. Took a deep breath. Then turned plaintive eyes on Twilight. “But why did you take it?” I demanded, shuddering as I fought to keep my forehooves on the floor, and not shake the pony princess like a ragdoll.

“We needed a focus for the tracking spell,” Twilight explained, calmly and rationally. “And, well that ‘toy’ has some of the strongest sympathetic ties I’ve ever seen. It was like casting spells when you’re in the room.”

“Huh... Well I guess it finally did some good,” I grumbled, shifting the figure to a more comfortable spot under my wing. I paused, as a thought occured. “Hang on, Chrysalis said specifically that I didn’t have any connections.”

Twilight shuffled her hoof. “Well... it is almost dripping with chaos magic,” she pointed out. “I have to ask, sorry, but where did you get it. Was it Discord?”

I sighed. Oh god. This was very much a story I didn’t want to get into.

“I bought it off eBay,” I told her in clipped tone, and when I got a blank look, I reluctantly continued. “A world wide marketplace back on Earth. From a seller called Mica Sordid.”

Twilight frowned for a moment.

Pinkie leaned over and staged whispered to her. “Psst. It’s an anagram of ‘I am Discord’.”

“Oh!” Twilight exclaimed, then spotted my angry glare. “Oh, right,” she repeated, in a much more subdued tone. “Sorry. I guess that was one of his ‘man traps’.”

“Yes,” I snarled. “One impulse purchase for a show that I watched with my brother and bam! Pony, portal, and then I ended up falling through somepony’s roof in Cloudsdale.” I kicked air. It was a stupid, stupid reason to have your whole life ripped out from under you. I may not have been doing much with it, but was still my life god damn it!

My agony must have shown, as Pinkie went in for another sympathy hug. I warded her off with a wing, and tried to take another calming breath. They were getting less and less effective.

"Look, I shouldn't be so uptight about all of this..." I rubbed my temple with a hoof. "It's just... I don't have anything else left." Even if it was cursed, the little statue was still my last link home.

"...I think I understand," Twilight said, with a comforting smile. I wondered if she was lying, or just saying what I wanted to hear. It's hard to understand what losing everything means. Your job, your friends, your form... Back home they would have had a funeral by now. Alexis Kingston would be dead and buried, in mind if not in being. Or worse, perhaps my folks were tearing the country apart looking for me, in a quest for a nonexistent Grail.

I shook myself, and smacked myself in the head. That was not a good line of thought to follow. We'd lost people to that kind of thinking, and not to a way the magic of friendship could fix.

"I'm sure you do, Princess," I said at last. By the pout, Twilight believed me about as much as I believed her. "Was there anything else you needed?"

"I just wanted to see if you were okay," she said, with another forced smile. "You've been through a lot, after all."

Time to change the subject. "Well, I am still worried about Chrysalis." Twilight frowned at me, but I pressed on. “She seemed to be very interested Earth.”

“You don’t have to worry about that,” Twilight replied, shaking her head. “Earth would be a desert for Chrysalis, humans don't have emotions like we ponies do..." She paused, then her eyes widened and she stammered out a correction. "Not that I meant that you don't have emotions. I meant, well, that you don't feel the-- you don't--"

I rolled my eyes. "We're freaky non-magical creatures," I completed. "But even if she can't feed, there's plenty of ways she could damage both worlds. If nothing else, humans are more than just a food source. Chrysalis mentioned nuclear bombs a few times.”

Twilight let out a relieved sigh. “Well that’s one problem we don’t have to worry about. Nuclear weapons won't work in Equestria.”

I cocked an eyebrow at her.

“Materia magic doesn’t work that way,” she explained, shrugging. “No fission, or at least not on the energy scales humans deal with. I have a hundred grams of plutonium sitting in a draw back at the castle, a couple kilos would be... not safe for foals, but worst case it would blow the roof off, not destroy a city.”

“There’s more dangerous things on Earth that just bombs,” I pointed out. One of which was now also in Equestria thanks to Crystal Cog and his infernal machine guns.

A very princessly smile cross Twilight’s face. It was a classic, ‘I’ve seen so much more than you can imagine’, smile lifted straight from Celestia. Twilight walked over to the edge of the cliff and gestured me to stand beside her.

“See that?” she said, as I took up position overlooking the valley, squinting against the rising sun. She pointed towards a dark hill.

I frowned. It wasn’t just a hill though. There, I could make out towers. There, a high stone wall.

“Is that...?” I began.

“That is Loane Stup. It was, or if you are a Buffalo, is, the capital of the Buffalo nation.”

Drawing a little aether to boost my vision I peered into the distance. The lost city was huge; many miles across and ringed by shattered walls. Uncounted houses, temples, towers and public buildings lay in ruins lay atop the low rise. I would have looked closer, except for the sudden mass of pink that suddenly obscured my vision.

“Argh, Pinkie!” I exclaimed, pushing her away. “Personal space!”

Twilight shot us a look, before continuing. “Anyway. Loane Stup was their capital for a thousand years, or so the legends go. The Buffalo believed that the city would stand eternally, in fact, it was prophesied that, while the walls of Loane Stup stood, their nation would never fall and, until the Gryphons came, they were right.”

Pinkie sniggered, and pulled a bag of popcorn out of her mane. Twilight gave her another glare, but continued with her story.

“The invasion of the Gryphon Khan was one of the most devastating events ever to strike Equus. She brought an army of half a million to the Buffalo lands and routed every army that ever stood before her. Cities were looted and burned, towns were wiped off the map and and millions fled behind the unbreakable walls of Loane Stup.”

Another round of giggles escaped Pinkie Pie, and I’m amazed her mane didn’t catch fire under Twilight’s withering scowl.

“But!” Twilight continued, through clenched teeth. “The Khan was not easily daunted and brought all her might against the walls of--” Pinkie collapsed, laughing. “--The walls of Loane Stup! The buffalo fought and died on the walls. On the first day the soldiers fell on the walls. On the second, the men died trying to hold the breaches. On the third day, the woman bleed in the street as they sold their lives dearly. And at dawn on the last day, the sick and the injured burned their cities and all it’s treasures to the ground to prevent-- PINKIE PIE! This is very serious, why are you laughing?”

Pinkie snorted, almost rolling off the cliff as she clutched her sides. “Because you’re quoting ‘Daring Do and the Last Stampede’.”

“It was a very dramatic and well researched scene!” Twilight shot back. “The point--” she continued, jabbing a hoof at the ruined cities. “--Was that Equestria is no stranger to death and destruction. Between one and three million Buffalo died with their city. In revenge for their defiance the Gryphon Khan declared that their entire race be scattered to the plains. They razed every city in the land, crushed every building and torched every farm they came across. The Buffalo once looked down on Equestrians as primitive savages. These days they live in tents, following long moot stampeding routes.”

That was enough to quell even Pinkie Pie.

She turned on me, and took a deep break. “Don’t fear for Equestria, Alex, we are not as innocent as humanity would like to believe. Whatever Chrysalis is planning, we’ll beat her, I promise you that.”

“Wow,” I said, at long last. “That was depressing.”

“Oh!” Pinkie exclaimed, jumping up and down. “I know a way to cheer you up! It always works on Dashie.”

I shot her a look. “Okay, shoot.”

In a blur of motion, Pinkie Pie picked me up by the scruff of the neck and hurled me off the cliff.

It was annoying how much the excuse to fly actually cheered me up. There’s probably some deep existential drama about inhuman instincts, but if I started thinking like that I’d never get out of bed in the morning . By the time that I’d worked out the two long grounded weeks I was feeling much better about myself. It’s hard to be sad with a cloud beneath your hooves, the sun on your back and blue skies as far as the eye could see. I could feel all the worry and stress and guilt lurking beneath the surface, but it was a beautiful day, and I refused to let it go to waste.

By the time I made it back to camp the Thunderchild was rigged and ready to go, the pegasi in the harness slightly hungover, but still happy to fly. In fact, the entire ship seemed to be in a fine mood, and it began to dawn on me. Despite the losses we’d suffered, we’d won. A rag tag group, of questionably stable aliens, had rode an insane ship straight out of penny dreadful novel, into the maw of one of the greatest threats to modern Equestria and driven her into the ground. Sure we’d had help, and the price we’d paid for the victory was far too high, but we’d still done it.

Our journey home was, relatively uneventful. There was a minor incident where we had to outrun a Buffalo stampede, but with Rainbow Dash in the harness we outpaced them with ease, and possibly set a land speed record. Even so it took a good few days to reach “Aaaapleloosa!” where we stopped for supplies and to offloaded Luna and her guard.

As it happens, it turns out that Braeburn does introduce the town that way, and with as much grandstanding as possible. At some point on the way in, though, Crystal Cog convinced twenty or so of the more brony crew to join in on the introduction. So instead of one over-enthusiastic call, Braeburn had an entire backing line bellowing out the name.

Pinkie almost died laughing, and I spent five minutes trying to explain the Club to the shaken stallion. Complete with dragging Princess Twilight into the conversation to explain how interuniversal unification can lead to the transmission of events to other cultures. I still have no idea what half the words she used mean, but I find most people like to know that someone understands what’s happening, even if they don’t.

Much to Applejack’s chagrin we didn’t stay long in the desert town. Twilight especially was eager to get back, and to be honest the rest of us were beginning to feel the press of thirty bodies on a small boat, and no real entertainment beyond dirty limericks and tall tales. Fortunately, Ponyville was only a day’s motivated travel away.

“You know,” Crystal Cog observed, as we raced over the grassy hills. “I’m going to miss this.”

I shot him an incredulous look. The pair of us stood alone on the aftcastle, Cog at his usual place on the helm, myself acting as navigator. Though, I as I was navigating based off Rainbow Dash’s monstrosity of a house in the distance, it wasn’t exactly an onerous job.

“My kidnapping, our near deaths or just the excuse to use the guns?” I enquired.

Cog laughed. “Maybe two and three. I’ve always wanted to do something like this.” He gestured at the busy deck. “Something brave and heroic; risking it all for a cause.”

I rolled my eyes. “What, didn’t get your fill in World War Two?”

He cuffed me over the back of the head with a wing. “Hey! I’m not that old,” he chortled.

“I can see that, you’ve still got your foal down.” I ducked under the wing that time.

Crystal Cog stuck his tongue out at me. “Let an old-slash-young man have his fantasies.”

I shuffled my hooves. Those fantasies had got three of my charges killed. Glancing over at the grin on the young pegasus' face I wondered just how much he cared.

"You know, I never asked. Why did you guys come after me?" I began, hesitantly.

Cog laughed. "Well, we weren't going to leave you with Chrysalis! I had to turn away a dozen ponies before we cast off, and even then we had an escort halfway to the border. Face it, Alex, you're the heart of the Club. Even if you come with a mean right hoof."

"Sorry about that," I replied, without the faintest hint of sincerity. "But why did you need to come? I mean, Twilight had her world saving squad rolled out, Princess Luna put on such a show she managed to convince Chrysalis she was being invaded and even the Night Guard showed up. They could have saved us."

A long beat passed between us. Crystal Cog looked away, gazing down the length of the busy deck.

"Gestures can be powerful things, Alex," Crystal Cog said at last. "Perhaps the Club wasn't strictly necessary, but this is a dangerous world. We needed to prove we could stand on our own two feet." He paused. "Or whatever limbs we happen to have."

I frowned. "Was it worth it?"

"Hell yes it was worth it," he exclaimed, punching the air. "There's two hundred dead changelings and a literal boatload of military contracts winging their way to us, if I read the Princess right."

"Really?" I drawled, glaring at him. "Out of everything humanity has done, you're planning on bringing the guns first?"

"It's a very dangerous world, Alex," he repeated. "And not just because of the Everfree. One day the humans in Equestria will be old news and all those bits the treasury keeps throwing at you will dry up. We need to be out in front of it.”

“And selling weapons is your plan?”

“It’s step one.” He tapped the wooden railing. “And lets just say it produced results.”

I rolled my eyes again. Okay, so The Barn ponies were the only people I didn’t have to worry about being short of food; but there was coping emotionally, and then there was trying to mimic your old life. Down to all the baggage.

“And what does your new boyfriend think of these plans?” I teased.

Cog didn’t take the bait. He stepped away from the wheel, an action which had zero effect on our heading, and leaned over the rail. “Hey Star Charge! You want to answer that or are you happy eavesdropping?”

There was annoyed grunt from the shadows beneath us, and Star Charge made his way up onto the aftcastle, the dark pony grumbling to himself. “How did you know I was there?” he demanded.

“I’m the captain,” Cog said, with a flippant wave as he resumed his place at the wheel. “That means I know everything that happens on my ship.”

Star Charge and I shared a weary look. The sooner Crystal Cog’s buccaneer fantasy ended, the better.

“To answer your question, though, Alex, I am less than pleased with many of Cog’s inventions--”

“Well there’s a surprise,” the pegasus muttered.

“--but I can’t help but admire their use. Equestria is... more dangerous than I first supposed. And I’ll be the first to admit I have been wrong.” He turned to me and bowed, dropping into a rehearsed speech. “Alex. My friends and I have done you a great disservice. We’ve had our differences, but I never would have wanted you hurt, and I’ll never be able to apologise enough to justify siding with Chrysalis against another Club member. I’m going to try though, so for what it's worth...” He held out a hoof. “I am sorry, Alexis.”

For a moment I just stood there, wings slightly raised, lost for words. Ivory Flash had died for that weak apology, risking her life for mine in a feat of bravery I couldn’t hope to replicate. And Star Charge had been right there with them all. For the short time I’d known him Star Charge had undermined me at every turn, bullied, lied and on occasion threatened people and, yes, had unknowingly supported an emotion eating monstrosity. Then again, what was that old phrase about actions speaking louder than words.

I swept the bewildered unicorn into a hug.

“Umm...” he stammered.

“Everything is forgiven,” I told him, breaking away.

He blinked in bewilderment. “...I’ll be honest I wasn’t expecting that response,” Star Charge continued, shaking his head.

“What can I say, friendship is magic.” He groaned.

“Oh sure, you say that to him, but where’s my hug?” Cog grumbled.

I rolled my eyes, cuffed him lightly with a wing and pulled him into a hug.

“Thanks for coming after me, guys,” I murmured.

I stepped away from the blushing colts, who both took a sudden interest in their hooves. “Though now that I think about it,” I snapped, suddenly all business again. “You’re still in trouble for trying to replace me all the time.” I jabbed a hoof at Star Charge who blushed. “And Cog, you still haven’t apologised for the jet incident.”

He gave me a cheeky grin, while Star Charge smirked “Well, that would imply that I was sorry,” Cog pointed out.

My eyes narrowed. Unfortunately the tongue lashing was delayed by somepony yelling. “Balloon ho!”

“What?” the three of us exclaimed, wheeling round.

They weren’t lying, though I don’t think any of us expected quite what we saw. I was rather expecting the familiar blinding purple monstrosity that Twilight rents, but instead, pulled by a blond maned pegasus, it was a bright orange weather balloon.

“All stop!” Cog roared. The unicorns slammed on the brakes; there was a yell of surprise from the pegasi team as somepony missed the order and flew into their buddies. After a few moments the Thunderchild slid to a stop, a tangle of pegasi before us bickering with each other.

Crystal Cog groaned. “You just can’t get the help these days.”

A space cleared on the deck as Ditzy Doo landed, dragging the weather balloon with her by the string. It was amazing just how alien it looked; the envelope was a neon orange latex bag, the cable nylon, and a large plastic box was tied to the base. After months of hemp, cloth and bakelite it was, quite literally, something from another world.

“Package for you, Twilight,” Ditzy chirped, spitting the string out and holding the balloon steady with her wing.

I spotted one of our unicorns bouncing up and down with excitement, I’d yet to figure out what the brony obsession with Ditzy Doo was, but I leapt from the aftcastle to stop her getting mobbed.

There were a range of responses to discovering you are an interdimensional celebrity. Rainbow Dash had had to start getting a weekly treatment at the spa to let her swelled head down, Fluttershy hadn’t left her cottage for a full month, and Spike had basked in the attention until he’d realised that nearly every Club member knew about his secret crush on Rarity. Then there was Ditzy Doo who, as far as anyone could tell, hadn’t yet noticed. I intended to keep it that way as long as possible.

"...where did you get this?" Twilight asked at last, levitating her jaw shut.

"Oh, I found it on my rounds. It's addressed to you Twilight."

Of course it was. Above our heads Dash was hovering next to the balloon, poking it with a wary hoof.

"Well, I guess I'll have to take it then," Twilight continued, shaking her head and went to grasp it with her magic. Ditzy grasped the string tighter.

"Umm... It didn't come with postage." She weighed the balloon on her wing for a moment, a frown on her face. "That'll be three bits," she announced, beaming.

Without a word Twilight levitated five coins out of her saddlebag.

"Thanks, Twilight!" And with that she flew away, whistling a jaunty tune to herself.

"Okay so spill," Rainbow Dash interjected, landing heavily next to the bemused princess. "What the hay is this thing?"

"It's the best party balloon ever!" Pinkie exclaimed, bouncing up and down on the envelope. No one bothered to ask how she'd got up there and how the hell it was supporting her weight, it was Pinkie Pie. "Can I have it when you're done?"

"Sure thing, Pinkie," Twilight sighed, untying the balloon from the box.

The pink mare leapt to the deck and seized the string; wrapping it around her waist she leapt into the air exclaiming, "to Sugarcube Corner, away!" Then, very slowly, she began to drift away from the ship.

We all turned back to Twilight.

"Well, I guess it is addressed to me," Twilight observed, turning the plastic case over in her magic. "And not Torchlight Sprocket again," she added in a mutter. "I have no idea what it is though."

"It's a weather balloon," I explained, stepping up to her. "Humans use them to figure out what's going on in the sky." I ignored Dash rolling her eyes.

"Hmm, well it doesn't seem locked..."

The case sprung open, papers tumbling to the deck before freezing in Twilights pink corona. She pulled them up to eye level and then emitted a girly squeal. "Relativistic proofs!" she exclaimed, as if she'd just been give twenty years worth of birthday presents. She began to rifle through the loose sheets. "Oh, and a periodic table! And...” her face dropped. “Oh dear.”

Wordlessly she passed the sheet of paper over to me. I took it with my wing.

“Dear Twilight Sparkle,” I read. “We made it. Signed Tony Acey and Louis Hubble, on behalf of the Royal Air Force.”

There was a moments stunned silence across the entire ship.

“Crystal Cog, I am going to kill you!” I yelled.