381368 I did too, actually, but I noticed when it came up in Fallout Equestria, it was always referred to as a Rainboom, with the exception of Ditzy's Radboom. I do, however, plan to call attention to that in a dialogue in a later update.

I swallowed the lump in my throat as I looked up to meet the eyes of the two mercs I was trapped all alone with. Uh-oh.
Duh, Duh Dum

Great chapter man looking forward to more /)

381475 Also im really enjoying the outer views of waste landers on a lone Enclave dashite ive never really thought of it Keep up the great work /)

Took me long enough, but here comes review number two.

Mach is... in some ways extremely hilarious. If he were a player-created character in a Fallout game, he occurs to me as the character who would unbind the crouch button. No sense of subtlety, boisterous, belligerent... I think I like this guy. Maybe because it's a character archetype I've only worked with once long ago.

One thing I liked about this chapter was how you handled connecting to the main fic. You have just enough fan service/homages to FoE to make the reader happy, but it's just enough without being too over-the-top (*cough*ProjectHorizons*cough*) and done in a way that's tasteful and loyal to the original characters. I think you pulled Calamity off pretty well here. Same thing with references to Fallout 3 with the elementary school, Shamrock (dick), and Silverlight. I also find it pretty funny because- okay, admit it. How many of us accidentally walked that way instead of paying attention to the map marker?

Pffffffft, that ending scene had me cracking up. Just... I have this similar scene in my own story and it's pretty much the "this is why Frost has LUK 1" chapter.

Will continue reading. Expect little snippet reviews like this one.

1921978
Well, you've got Mach's character down pat, I'd say. He doesn't have a humble bone in his body; he's proud, arrogant, extremely vindictive and spiteful, and gives absolutely no thought to stealth. In twenty chapters he's tried sneaking all of once. He tried disguising himself once also, but that fell through pretty quickly when he let his vengeful side take over. As you say, subtlety is a completely foreign concept to him.

I tried to be very very careful with character interactions in this chapter. Very careful. I was walking on eggshells when I originally wrote chapter 2, because not everyone takes kindly to OCs interacting with characters from the main story. I can say that this is pretty much the fanservice chapter. Barring the beginning of chapter 3, from hereon out, it's completely original territory.

Thanks for reading Adder, your insight is very much appreciated.

oh my god 2.5m bits at 10 caps a bit that is 25 million caps.... he is boned if they can collect that is

I have not read the original, unrevised chapters, but I have a feeling that these are much, much better.

Rude awakening indeed, would you look at that bloody wing? I cringed at the thought of his wing being nearly pulled off like that. Had the lovely image of all his feathers getting torn and ruffled while blood covered them. Yup, sometimes my imagination likes to supply extra details to an already gruesome and painful scene. I wonder if he could somehow try and relocate himself? Whatever the case, it'll be painful and like he says, the longer it takes the more he risks severe damage. If he didn't find those bandages I'd say that nasty bite would be an issue too. But I think after he's bandages the leg up and got some rest it'll just be painful to him and not life threatening. Dude probably doesn't want a health potion at that moment because of his wing anyways, not until it's back into place.

The thrust into the wasteland is always a big chapter to write. And we begin his wasteland journey here with mutated timber wolves nearly tearing him apart. I must say I do enjoy your action, that's a lot of detail to show what's going on. *Tips hat to you* It's a challenge to get action down, but from the previous chapter and this one I think you've got it pretty well. Very easy to confuse your readers in what happened with these sort of scenes. After the action is done you slowly transition us over to his resting place. I'll say that here he could easily catch some kind of disease from the dead bodies. But I'm also thinking those magical bandages are pretty good at keeping a wound clean. But then there's his bloody dislocated wing... Mmm.

I believe the best course of action from here now is not only get medical attention, but food. He's said he's already gone a day without food and between everything he's been through he'll need his energy to keep himself alive. Once the wing and food are fixed, then he can focus on his beautiful journey of helping ponies! Oh, why is it that I feel horrible things are going to happen to him, lovely and wonderfully horrible things. *Sounds like crazed Twilight* Perrfect!

I'm very interested in how you'll mix this in with the actual tale of Fallout Equestria. Yes because it's your story you can bend it a good bit from Katt's, but I'm still curious about some of the bigger events that Mach will play in and cause himself. Anyways, good chapter, I was dead tired when I read this and waking up the next morning to review it just let me enjoy it all over again.

Quaver Ava

Alright, Mach is down on the surface, in the Everfree forest no less, granted not THAT big a deal given he can just, you know, fly out of there. Granted might not want to go airborne while there could still be scouts looking for him. Huh, just thought of something, the Scout Buck, it being a personal project Doc was working on on his own initiative, rather then an official project really saved Mach's flank. If it was an official project, then the ponies after Mach would know about it, and just get the ID tag for it and track him using that. But with it being a pet project Doc made on his own, they have no idea it exists or they could do that unless Doc tells them, which yeah he ain't going to betray Mach like that. Not even sure that was intentionally part of the reason for doing it that way, but still, love how perfectly all the pieces fit together.

Alright, Mach is down, he's about to get a 'Rude awakening' which includes him going into Ponyville... well It should be after Littlepip does her thing and wipes out the raiders, so he shouldn't have to hard a time with it. But I'm sure he'll figure out some way to have some 'fun'.

instead of being startled out of it by a blaring alarm clock was a new experience for me.

But, didn't the story open with you doing just that? I mean, you were woken up by a beam of sunlight in your eyes, but still, not a blaring alarm clock. So can't be THAT new. Rare, but not brand new.

but when I remembered where I was, that relief quickly turned to panic.

Surface in general, or Everfree in particular? Or, a bit of both?

The Everfree Forest

Figured it was that. Just be glad you did wake up, plenty around that would have made that impossible. So you did luck out a bit.

“I have to get out of here.”

*insert lame 'Captain obvious' joke here*

I had the funniest feeling that the cloud cover had absolutely nothing to do with the low-lighting conditions.

Well it certainly isn't helping at all.

still growing wild despite the irradiated land.

Well, that's because the Everfree isn't irradiated at all. It's actually the single largest swath of 'clean' land left in Equestria.

It was quiet. Too quiet

You just will not learn will you? Whelp, you are only bringing these hardships on your self by taunting he universe like that.
Not that he's wrong of course, but still, you never say that! Especially in a creepy ass murder forest.

shouldn’t there still have been some resilient wildlife left over?

Actually, thinking about it, there were almost no animals in the forest when Littlepip and co went in where there? Though, that could have just been all of the animals having already fled from Redeye's fire teams. But plenty of killer plants for you to have fun with mach, so there's that.

And then I heard it. A low, guttural growl

You just HAD to say it, didn't you Mach?

was a massive canine.

OHHHH Timber Wolf? Or, whatever abomination Timber Wolves had turned into anyway.

and its teeth were bared back in a snarl, revealing gnashing, razor sharp teeth.

It's teeth.. were bared back, to reveal it's teeth? so it picked up some shark traits? Multiple rows of teeth and all?

but going by those stories alone, this one didn’t look anything like it was supposed to.

Alright, mutated Timber Wolf, this should be good.....

this thing was a Timberwolf.

Called it!

dire-wolf-sized

Well, there IS an in verse pony D&D equivalent, Oubliettes and Ogres. Guess Mach's played a few sessions of it?

The only resemblance this thing passed to its fabled self were its eyes glowing that bright, luminescent green.

Hmmmmmm.. hollow sounding tail, but looking like a regualr animal, derived from a wooden creature...ohh ohhh did it end up as something like a Huldra?

With none of my weapons loaded and ready? Yeah, right.

I ran.

Smart move, though, why not fly? I mean there are any number of reasons not to. not wanting to go above the trees and stand out to any ponies looking for him, trees being to thick for him to do so safely while dodging the wolf, just, wondering why mach is choosing not to of the reasons.

using the sounds of the Timberwolf’s bounding gait, growls, and snarls as motivation to push myself even harder

Yeah, that would be some pretty effective motivation.

I’d have plenty of wing clearance to take flight

Okay, so it IS a case of the forest just being to cramped to fly right.

At least, that’s how things would’ve gone in an ideal world.

Of course it can't go that smoothly for you Mach, your suffering fuels our enjoyment, so you have to deal with bad luck and nothing working out right.

It was then that I learned that like real wolves, Timberwolves didn’t always hunt alone.

..... Oh fuck. And yet, nice job story, again something that should be obvious, and was a kind of suspicion in the back of my mind about why only one, but managing to be so thrilling, so action packed, so tense in just the right way, for me to not really consider that and just want to get on with seeing what was going to happen next.

but hard, barklike skin.

Okay, that makes sense. get a bit more armor, something to hold them together a bit more firmly.

Before I could move, the creature’s jaw snapped shut on my wing

Oh fuck...... doubly so.

excruciating wave of pain and a sickening pop,

Whelp, that's a dislocated wing. Mach won't be flying anywhere for a while. Nice job on that by the way, giving a way to keep him grounded, limited, in a way that makes sense and, WAY more exciting then just "He hurt it in the crash" but an injury he will recover from eventually.

as the Timberwolves refused to pursue me past the forest’s boundaries.

Given you can't fly away, that is a good thing. Though, could also just mean you are running into something even worse that the wolves don't want to deal with.

I wasn’t concerned with investigating that stable pony’s fate anymore

When did you start? I mean, can totally believe he'd want to check it out, if only out of curiosity and nothing better to really do. But it never really came up like he was planning on it for it be something he is no longer concerned with. Sentiment is good but, wording feels odd to me. I see where it's coming from, just could have been done a bit more smoothly IMO. That said, so, is the story going to be Mach following along behind Littlepip?

I was a lot less worried about my leg than my wing, but I still ran the risk of infection if I didn’t get it patched up.

Good personal triage, recognizing the worst, most pressing injuries that required treatment the soonest before they would get worse. Wing left like that could becoming permanently damaged and cost him the ability to fly. Leg, infection would be bad, but could be dealt with after the fact if needed.

I gave a started cry and immediately pitched forward, tumbling head over hoof down a muddy embankment

And that is not going to help any of your injuries. He is just not used to having to look down when he walks is he? Though, does make sense.

It was a large rotunda, towering up over the majority of the buildings in Ponyville.

How is Town Hall, a building in the middle of town, the closest to him as he comes into the town? yeah there is that stream along it that could be what he crossed, but he'd still have had to go through half the town to get to it. Or, did he walk through all of that without realizing what he was doing? Granted avoiding Raiders is easy, since they are all likely focusing on Littlepip, or asleep. But still, bit odd for him to just pop up into the middle of town like that.

Also, roll picture credits *Ding*

I still hadn’t had time to load either of my weapons.

Maybe you should, I don't know... DO THAT!? Like, now?

That said, the description of the smell alone just... alright, yes it's horrible what he is smelling, but, the way it's described is just, so, vivid, so well detailed, without being really gory or over the top about it. Just... wow that is some well done description.

I made sure to scan the building’s interior very carefully before I proceeded any further

Training kicking in. He knows how to handle stuff like this. He's clearly horrified at how disgusting this is, and yet, not letting it effect how he acts, not panicking, keeping himself under control, doing the smart thing and scanning for trouble. He knows how wrong this is, but is able to push that aside and do what he needs to.

surprised to find that it wasn’t locked.

Well, should be empty, and yet, this is a Fallout protagonist looting a place so... odds are 50/50 he finds anything. It might have just been out of the way and no Raider happened to head back here to see it.

somepony had already raided all of the good stuff.

Yeah figured that was more likely, sure you'll find something though.

syringes of Med-X

I do kind of love how not once, at all, in the entirety of FOE was the term "Med-X" ever used. Yet it's all over side stories. Doubly so given they could just call it Morphine, which is what it is. Or maybe Marephine. It was originally going to just be called that in the game, but they had to change it to make some stick up their ass idiots happy, since otherwise, it would be teaching kids how to use drugs! Since, that's a REAL drug!

pouches of RadAway.

HEY! Rad Away does not come in pouches. Yes, in the game it does, but in FOE, it comes in little juice boxes. Because the image of ponies drinking it like that is to adorable for it to NOT be the case!

one of the most pressing issues that had been plaguing me recently.

Wing? Dealing with the stress of what is going on? Or... just really need to go to the bathroom?

I didn’t have any ammunition for Rattler since live rounds were hard to come by in the Enclave

.... yet again.. that makes perfect sense. We do see the Enclave have a preference for Energy weapons, and, this is a good reason why beyond "They just think they are cooler" and, yet again, something I never thought about, and yet, makes perfect sense and seems so obvious once I do. But yeah, they would be limited on physical ammo, so relying on Energy weapons, which still need spark packs, but are a lot easier to keep charged... works. Very good job story. Also, oh so it's finally loading his weapons, that's a good idea too. But, he's starting with TWO unique weapons right off the bat? OP MARY SUE!!!!!

The machine gun’s barrel had bent completely backward,

Ouch.... don't worry, I'm sure there is somepony that can get it fixed, sure they've fixed worse by now. But still, ouch..... I mean, again with the it's something bad but, good job making me really care about this. Just, being able to tell how much Mach loved that gun, trusted it, able to really feel his reaction to this... just yet again, way to go at making something sad, still so well done.

What were the odds I’d ever find a replacement barrel for it?

I'm guessing pretty good.

Had my attempt to take the fall for him cleared his name and allowed them to resume life as normal?

Hmmm, if I had to guess... He's likely still under suspicion, but not actively being hounded. Just, seems like the most likely. The ones who put this together still are sure he's up to something, but with the confession, don't have enough evidence to keep going after such a high ranked officer.

Why was I suddenly feeling like I’d just made one of the biggest mistakes of my life?

because you gave up a life of relative peace and comfort to live in a blast hellhole where everything wants to kill you, including the land itself. Have almost no resources, are on your own, injured already, and in a Raider murder pit. And yet, this is likely going to turn out to be one of the best decisions you've ever made.

Guess have to wait till next chapter for him to wake up to Littlepip blowing up some Raiders.

Still a great read, the story does such a great job of conveying emotions, feelings, just, making me care deeply about Mach. And so much detail, done so well... great first encounters with Surface life, recognizable, but still unique, just, damn this story is good.

Most of my reading and commenting happens when there are dead time at my work… So yea I did post one part of the comment and then came back to update it. Should properly put some notice about it not being the full comment for another time that happens…

Don't have much to say about this chapter beside that yea, things are clearly not going as well as they had up to this point.