Fallout Equestria: Viva Las Pegasus -- Tails of New Pegasus
Chapter Four: Psychological Evaluation Part One

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Psychiatric Evaluation Case # 51C
Subject: Brawny Boulder
T.A.I.L Entrance Evaluation
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I felt the hot, bitter sensation of coffee trickling down my tongue. It was really cold out, since it was early morning. I was in sitting in a cafe near the police station, waiting for it to open. 'Come by anytime,' they told me, 'as long as it's tomorrow. Miss it and you miss your chance.' So I decided I better get it over with during the start of the day. I couldn't even sleep last night. I just sat there, surrounded by experiences long gone...

Ever since our mother died, I've been taking care of my sister alone. Our father had just turned to more drinking and gambling to cope with all the shit that went down.

"Poppa," I asked. "Do you think we have extra food for Metronome?"

"Celestia-dammit child, ask your mother!" I don't think he was thinking straight enough that time. Then I made a terrible mistake.

"But Poppa, she's... gone."

*SMACK*

"Don't you say that about your mother!" I hated that man, I absolutely abhored the way his breath stenched of beers, but at that moment, my heart softened a bit. After the hit, I tasted blood. My blood. I was going to look at him with eyes burning with hate just to let him know that I spite him, but when I glared at him, I was only met with bloodshot, watery eyes filled with sadness and loss.

"Don't say that..." I heard him shakily whisper, as he fell to the ground. "Don't say that..." Then all of a sudden, he screamed at the ceiling "OH DEAR CELESTIA, WHY'D YOU HAVE TO TAKE HER AWAY FROM ME!?!?" and he broke down right there on the floor.

I wasn't going to be tricked. I knew he was a terrible person. He was a horrible father, it was true. But if he had one thing that was good about him, it was that he really loved my mother.

"Hey," a familiar voice rang behind me.

Without looking, I greeted him back. "'ello there, kiddo." I took another sip of my coffee. "How'd it go last night?"

"Meh," he answered nonchalantly, "it was okay..."

I'm glad the kid's been trying to come out of his shell. He was always a shy little colt, but he had a heart of gold, that's for sure. I'm sure they'll let him in that T.A.I.L thing, since he looks the part. His sandy-blond mane has been combed straight to look orderly, and it might just be me, but his coat seems to shine a more lively orange... is that...?

"Oh Celestia, boy have you been using that lavander coat wash?" I grumbled. I really hated it when he did that.

"What? It doesn't hurt to come prepared."

"It doesn't hurt to grow a pair, either." I scoffed.

"Come on old man, let's get to the interview and get it over with."

He didn't have to tell me twice. I floated my coffee mug to my mouth and in one quick gulp, I finished it. As I got up, I realized that I may have done a bad move.

"AAAGH!" I screamed. "MAI FHOUNG'S VURNING!!!"

"Great way to start the day," I thought.

"This way," a stern-looking pony commanded us.

"Woah Mr. Shades, I didn't notice the sun was too bright today." I joked.

I felt an elbow to my stomach. Ouch, what gives? I stare at Sundown and he just stared back.

I don't want to get in trouble. He glared at me with his bright blue eyes, trying to threaten me. It wasn't working.

What? Come on, I had to make that joke.

It's a special talent we have. We've known each other for a pretty long time, so we can sort of translate each other's looks into words.

"You, baldy, take the left, then first room on the right," the Mr. Shades smirked. He got me back good with the 'baldy' name. "You, young blood, take right, then right room at the end of the corridor."

We walk up the corridor then as we part ways, Sundown looked back at told me, "Good luck."

"You too, kiddo."

Walking towards my room, I bump into a pony and we both get knocked down. I didn't get a good look at his face, but as I saw his cutie mark, I knew who he was. Two crossed guns.

"Why, hello officer Standoff." I spat out through clenched teeth, making sure to let him hear the venom in my words.

The trooper seemed surprised to hear my voice. Well, surprised is putting lightly. The most accurate description is that he almost shat himself.

"Wh-wh-wh- Boulder?" he hissed. "What are you doing here?" Dear Celestia, I haven't even done anything and he's already prepared to try to shoot me. Again.

"Oh, you know, the usual," I grinned. "getting my whole super important secret agent assignment and shit." I couldn't wait to see how that idiot would react knowing I got an all important job under the City Council.

"Wait, you're being evaluated too?" he inquired.

"Yeah, bitch, that's fucking ri-" Wait. Did he just say too?

"Too? What do you mean 'too'?" I said.

"Is it for the T.A.I.L?" he retorted, obviously fearing the same thing I did.

Well. Shit. This is going to be one interesting assignment.

"Hello Mr. Boulder." A familiar-looking yellow pony sat in front of me.

"Uhh, Annie, is it?" I guessed.

"Amber." she scowled.

Well, shit. So much for a good first impression.

"So, where's the interogat- uh, interviewer?" I inquired in the most polite, innocent, Sundown-y way I could.

"You're looking at her," she responded coldly.

"Well, this is going to be fun." I cursed under my breath. The mare who'll decide whether I get a big hoity-toity job probably thinks I'm an asshole.

"What was that?"

"Oh, uh, nothing."

"So, Mr. Boulder, do you have any family?" She inquired.

"In my family, I have a father, mother, and sister." Oh, Celestia, we're going to go here for our interview. Fuck. "Well, had a father, mother and sister."

"Oh, I'm so sorry about asking..."

"Nah, it's okay." I tried to be cool about it. I just hope she wouldn't pry-

"Did you love your family?"

Of fucking course she would.

"Yes, I was fond of my mother but the relationship between my father and I was... strained."

"How about that sister of yours that you mentioned?"

Did I love her? I can't even begin to describe...

"Brawny," Metronome asked me, quivering in fear "is the monster gone...?"

"No, sis. He's still there."

"Could Dad already turn into a werewolf when you were my age?"

It was the middle of the night, and it was just me and her sitting in front a makeshift campfire. Our father had come back in a pretty drunk and violent state, and since Metronome got older, I couldn't tell whether it would still be beneath him to hurt her. I wasn't going to take that chance. Of course, I couldn't tell Metronome what was really going on. She was just a filly, I didn't want her to see the horrible truth. Not yet. So every time Poppa came home in a sour mood, I told her that he would turn into a timberwolf because he was cursed. So nights like these, we would end up in some random abandoned building sitting around a campfire, only to return home once our father had either left or passed out.

"Yes, since I was a colt, he would often come back as a timberwolf."

"When Mum was alive?"

"...."

"Umm... Brawny?"

"Oh, right." Whenever we were here, we'd talk about Momma. Metronome never got to meet her, and she could never ask our father about it, so I was really the only way she knew about Momma.

"Yeah. Back when Momma was alive."

"... What was she like again?" We had talked about this a million times. We both knew each word of this conversation by heart, but it never got old. It calmed me, and I'm pretty sure it did the same for her.

"Momma... well, Momma was a lot like you..." I couldn't help but smile a bit while looking at the filly in front of me with her wide eyes, reminding me so much of my mother.

I continued, "She looked like you, dark mane, white coat, but for her cutie mark, she had a heart. She was... she was a wonderful pony. She was so caring and generous."

"Why did she name me Metronome?"

Fuck. Whenever she asks me this, I feel bad. Oh Celestia, why did I lie to her in the first place?

"She named you that because metronomes make the sounds of heartbeats."

"What's so special about heartbeats?"

I go over to her side of the fire and sit right next to her. Then I grab her hoof and put it on her chest. "Do you feel that?" I ask her.

"It's my heartbeat, why?"

"It's still beating, isn't it?"

"Of course. Why?"

"It's because you're alive." I remember this speech like the bottom of my hoof. It's what helped me get through all these years alone. No, not alone. With her. "And that's a reminder that you're strong, Metronome."

"You think I'm strong?" Poor girl. She didn't really have much friends, we usually just spent most of our time with each other, trying to survive. We were all each other had.

"Of course I do." I hugged her tight. "I love you Metronome."

"I love you too Brawny." She returned my hug with extra love. "You're the best brother ever."

I felt tears in my eyes, not having felt this happy since the day she was born. After a few minutes, we broke the hug, then I realized it was the right time to give it to her.

"Hey, sis," I was grinning so much from the excitement. "You really like music, right?"

"Yes, why?"

I quietly try to levitate something out of my saddle bags, hoping the orange glow surrounding my surprise will blend in with the campfire's light so she doesn't notice.

"Look behind you." I told her.

She turned and she saw my gift floating in front of her, a wooden contraption shaped like a pear with a really long stick coming out of it.

She looked astonished at the device and once I let go, she examined it carefully top to bottom. "What is it?" she asked, still grinning from the happiness of receiving a gift.

"I think it's called a vayo-something. You use that stick with strings and rub it against each other to make sounds and whatnot." I wasn't really familiar with whatever I got her, but I knew it was something music-y, and my sister loved music, so that was enough for me.

She giggled and informed me, "Oh, I think you mean violin. I read about these once. They were used by the Pre-War bands for music and the 'stick' is actually called a bow, and as a matter of fact..." Man, that filly could go on forever about music. She was really happy, and I was really happy.

Dear Celestia, how I wish that moment had lasted forever. I wish I hadn't shattered her innocence.

"Mr. Boulder!" Amber snapped at me, trying to get my attention.

"What? Yes, umm... sorry." I apologized, still gathering my thoughts.

She pressed on with the interview. "Answer the question. Did you love your sister?"

"Yes. I loved her very much. So much that it hurt."

"So much that it hurt? Hurt how?" I get the feeling that this bitch really does mean to push my buttons. She looked at me, expecting an answer, so I assumed that I really couldn't weasel out of this. But she'd be a tad lost without a background story, so I decided to start from the beginning. My alcoholic father, my caring mother, being brought to help with my father's work to help pay the debts, the sadism, the torture, my love for their suffering, then I told her about my sister. Then I told her what broke us apart.

I remember what happened as if it were yesterday. Sometimes, remembering the look on her face keeps me awake at night, knowing that I had failed to be the wonderful pony that she thought her brother was.

It was late at night, and I had been busy trying to make ends meet since I was old enough for real work. Well, by 'real', I don't really mean 'legal', but hey, there were no rules back then. It was okay for me to leave, since before I leave, Metronome goes to hang out with the new friend she made at the old abandoned music school. Normally, she's back at the house before I'm off work, but I don't worry for her safety since nobody ever goes to our street and my father doesn't arrive home till late at night.

Anyway, I walk home, same as always, then I realize something. I hear yelling from our house. My father's yelling.

"Shit," I thought, "he wasn't supposed to be back this early." I broke into a run and raced towards my house. And then I heard it. I heard glass shattering along with a scream. Metronome's scream!

I galloped as fast as I could and I crashed through the door. Apparently my father was too drunk to notice, because he was facing away from me and shouting at my sister.

"Don't you talk that way to meeee you little slut!" he scolded, slurring with every 's' and filling the room with the smell of a bar every time he opened his mouth. Then I looked and saw Metronome lying on the floor, crying, with broken glass surrounding her. With a broken bottleneck surrounded by my father's magic, it didn't take me long to figure out what happened. He hit her. He hit her. My sweet, innocent, quiet baby sister. That fucking monster. I just lost control.

I charged towards him, letting out a cry of rage and fury as my front tackles his body to the ground. "What are you doing you little shit!?" he blurted, but I was beyond reason now. Then again, he was always beyond reason. I was just playing his field. I get him to the ground then I try stomping on him with my hooves. The old man just blocks them then grabs my head. He then repeatedly headbutt me until I got really dizzy and fell. Right away, I was able to get back up, but not before he did too. We had an intense face-off that was long overdue.

"Boy, I've had enough of your shit. After all I've done for you two, you treat me this way?"

"All you've done for us?" 25 years of rage that built up inside me just came out spewing at that moment. "What have you done for us? Come home drunk? Ignore us? Hell, fucking abuse us to the point where we escape the house and sleep in abandoned
buildings to avoid you?" I fucking ram him to the corner of the room so hard that he falls down right after. "Is that your idea of good parenting, huh!?" My horn just glowed orange and all of the broken shards next to Metronome were over my head. I was out for blood, and I would get it.

Dear Celestia, I stabbed him repeatedly like a pincushion. He was screaming, trying to get me off of him but I wouldn't budge. So many shards stabbing him simultaneously, ejecting violently from his body bringing a fountain of warm blood that got on me. His screams sounded so pitiful and desperate. Just like my childhood. I knew he turned me into this. Into this... monster. But I couldn't help but love it. I started laughing as I heard him gurgling on his own blood. It was so... enjoyable. The thrill. The struggle. The hopelessness. All just so appealing to each and every sense. I just kept going and going and going until no more blood flowed out of him.

It was done.

I turned and saw Metronome looking at me, jaw dropped, with eyes full of a mixture of disgust, hatred and disappointment. I looked down and saw how I looked. My gray fur could not be seen anymore from the crimson tint of our father's blood. I had a great big grin plastered onto my face from killing a person. A hundred glass shards covered in blood floated around me. I didn't want her to see me like this. I only wanted to protect her. "Metronome..." I started. But she ran. She ran outside the door and I tried to follow.

"Metronome! Wait!" I cried, hoping she would listen to reason.

In the street, she just stopped running. I was about to explain when she turned to face me. I saw nothing in her eyes but coldness as she spoke to me. "No. You're sick. You keep saying that you hated our father, but... but..." She took a minute to compose herself, then she continued. "You're just like him. You work with criminals, you torture other people. What makes you any better than he was?"

I had no answer. She was right. I was like my father. I butchered him. I did the same thing I hated him for making me do. "Metronome, sis, I-"

"Don't call me that," she cut me off sharply. "I wanted to believe that you were different. That you were nice. That we could both watch out for each other. But now... I don't even want to be called your sister anymore."

Just there, I felt my heart shatter into a tiny million pieces. This was worse than when Momma died. No, it wasn't some unfair force of heaven that took my beloved sister away from me. It was my own fault. That's the part that hurt the most, knowing that it was my fault that the only pony that has meant something to me was running away from me." I knew where she was going. She was going to the music school to hang with her friend. I could've gone there. I could've tried to fix things. But I knew in my heart that she was right. I have become a monster.

It took a while for Miss Amber to recover from my answer. I could tell she was a bit shellshocked by such a revelation but I did not want to fuck up this opportunity for Sundown. "Okay," she continued, "so, now we're past family, how about previous employment. We know you worked as a top enforcer for the Stringers, particularly under a Miss... Metronome?" I didn't tell her that Metronome was my sister. As I told the story, I just referred to her as my sister. I don't tell anyone that Metronome's my sister because even if we had come to peace, that moment when she told me she didn't want to be called my sister is still etched in my mind.

"Yes, I did work under Ms. Metronome, why?"

"We want to know what went on before that. What were you doing before joining the Stringers?"

I replied as bluntly as I could. "I worked with a low-level 'sparkling shard' dealer."

The poor mare was taken aback by the straightforward revelation. "Sparkling shards? As in, the drug you smash and snort?"

"Yep." Wow, I tell her my tragic childhood and THIS surprises her? "I was the enforcer since the beginning of our business. Five years of working the drug trade, The two ponies handling our business end were quiet famous in Freedom Fields before the Buckmare's controlled the drug ring singlehandedly. You heard of them? Walthorse Whitehooves and Jesse Pinkmane."

The yellow pony quickly pulled up a couple of files and skimmed through them. "Ah, yes, the 'Bohr' and 'Sergeant Sparkle' were their handles, right?"

"Yes, before the Buckmares shot them up and captured and tortured me five years later."

"What?"

"You got stones in your ears woman? I told you the Buckmares captured me and tortured me. And that's how I got into the Stringers."

"Umm, excuse me? I don't follow."

I smirked. This story, I liked. "Let me start from the beginning."