“Sorry to hear that, Pinkie,” Twilight said as she stashed away a stack of her scrolls onto her shelf. “I know you were really excited to be a part of Applejack’s family-”

“Oh, it’s okay,” Pinkie Pie said. “Even if we’re not related, we’re still family! Right, Applejack?”

“Darn tootin’,” Applejack replied. “An’ ye’re more than welcome at our next Apple family reunion, too!”

“I wonder if any more of us are related?” Rainbow Dash said as she looked through the scroll that Pinkie Pie was reading, her head growing dizzy the more she read. “Er, too bad I can’t read egghead.”

Twilight frowned and approached the scroll. “Oh, come on. It’s not that difficult to understand.”

Twilight’s approaching lecture was interrupted by a loud gasp from Pinkie Pie, whose face suddenly closed in on the scroll to the point that the two were touching. “No way!”

“No way?” Rainbow Dash asked. “What? Did you find something out about us?”

Rarity gasped. “Could it be that Twilight and I are cousins? Oh, that would mean I’m royalty! Why that would be just-” Rarity stopped and looked around everypony staring at her with deadpan looks. Clearing her throat, she added, “Of course, being related to any of you would be great.”

“Twilight!” Pinkie Pie shouted. “You’ll never guess who you’re related to!”

“Who?” Twilight queried.

“That’s impossible!” Trixie shouted with a sneer. “The Great and Powerful Trixie can’t possibly be Twilight’s cousin! Her parents were only children!”

“But it says here-” Pinkie Pie began as she looked down at the scroll.

“Trixie does not care what some piece of parchment says! Trixie comes from a family of pureblooded earth ponies, so it is not possible for Twilight to be related to her!”

“Wait, then how are you a unicorn?” Applejack asked.

“It’s possible,” Twilight began, “But very rare, for a random mutation to occur in the womb that alters a pony’s race, even to one not in their gene pool.”

“Precisely,” Trixie said with a nod, “And the Great and Powerful Trixie is one of those rare, fortunate earth ponies to be blessed with the powers of a unicorn.”

“But usually,” Twilight continued, “Ponies born that way exhibit webbing around their neck and stunted horns, legs or wings. So why don’t I see that on you?”

“Oh. My. GOSH!” All eyes turned to Pinkie Pie, whose eyes were bulging out of their sockets and were attached to the scroll. “Guys, I’ve got it!”

“You do?” Rarity asked.

Pinkie Pie pointed a hoof to Trixie. “You.” She shifted her hoof to Rainbow Dash. “And you, are twins!”

Silence fell for a few seconds.

“Now that ah buy,” Applejack said, finally breaking the silence.

“What?! Me, related to her?!” both Trixie and Rainbow Dash shouted in unison. The two exchanged a momentary glare, before turning their heads away with a huff.

“It’s true!” Pinkie Pie told them. “It says right here that you two are fraternal twins, and that your dad, Rainbow Blitz, is Night Light – Twilight’s dad’s – brother! That makes you two twins, and both of you Twilight’s cousins!”

Everypony stared at Pinkie Pie with mixed looks of surprise, uncertainty, and outright denial. “That can’t be true!” Rainbow Dash argued. “If she’s my sister, why did I never know of her until a year ago?!”

“And if Trixie is Trash’s sister,” Trixie said, earning a scowl from the pegasus floating beside her, “Then why are Trixie’s parents an elderly earth pony couple from an pureblood earth pony family?!”

“They could have adopted you,” Twilight offered. “Though why you were separated from your family in the first place, I don’t know.”

“The more logical answer is that your scroll is wrong,” Trixie protested.

“Well then,” Pinkie Pie said, attracting everypony’s attention to her, her moustache, and her detective hat, “This looks like a job for Detective Pie.”

“Where were you on the night of December 1st, 2013?” Pinkie Pie asked, blowing bubbles out of her pipe as she stared her prey down, hooves clasped together and fringe holding a flashlight that was shining in his face.

“Uh, I was at home, watching my movies,” Rainbow Blitz answered, a confused look on his face.

Pinkie Pie’s eyes narrowed and she leaned closer, causing Rainbow Blitz to gulp and sweat nervously. “… I see,” she said, sitting back into her chair and blowing more bubbles out of her pipe. “Too bad that has nothing to do with the case at hoof.”

“Um… what is the case at hoof?” Blitz asked.

Pinkie Pie reached into her mane and pulled out a folder. Throwing it onto the desk, the folder opened and revealed a stash of photos inside. “Tell me: do you recognise the mare in these photos?”

“It’s Rainbow Dash,” Blitz answered. “And from the looks of these photos, she didn’t even know you were taking them. In fact, some of them seem like they were taken through peep holes in her home.”

“Don’t try to change the subject,” Pinkie Pie cautioned as she swept the photos up. “Tell me, do you love your daughter?”

“Of course I do,” Blitz answered. “She means the world to me. I would do anything to make sure she’s happy?”

“Which daughter are you referring to?” Pinkie Pie asked.

Blitz’s eyes widened, but he quickly regained his neutral look. “What do you mean?”

Pinkie Pie placed her pipe down and leaned in closer. “What do you think I mean?”

“What?”

“Who?”

“Huh?”

“Hm?”

“Uh…”

“Uh-huh?”

“W-What’re you-”

“I dunno. What are you?”

“Oh for pony’s sake!” The lights turned on, revealing the six mares and one dragon behind Pinkie Pie. Rainbow Dash took a step forward and said, “Dad, do I have a sister or not?!”

Blitz’s eyes widened yet again. “R-Rainbow Dash, how did you-”

“So it’s true?!”

“I’m your daughter?!” Trixie shouted, pushing Rainbow Dash aside and presenting herself before Rainbow Blitz.

“T-Trixie?!” Blitz shouted, shooting out of his chair and running towards the mare, who quickly backed away from him. “I-It’s really you… You’ve grown so much.”

“So… they’re really sisters?” Twilight asked, seeing that Rainbow Dash and Trixie were too stunned to say anything.

With a sigh, Rainbow Blitz gave solemn nod of his head. “It’s true. Rainbow Dash and Trixie are twins…”

“Dad…” Rainbow Dash approached her father. “How could you… You never told me… Why?”

“I’m sorry,” Blitz said, to both of his daughters. “I’m truly, truly sorry. I… I didn’t know what to do.”

“Perhaps you should take a deep breath and start from the beginning,” Rarity suggested.

“And it had better be a damn good story,” Trixie said in a threatening tone.

“Hey!” Rainbow Dash shouted. “Don’t talk like that to my dad!”

“It’s okay,” Blitz said before taking a deep breath. “… She has every right to be angry with me. What I did was inexcusable. You see, it was shortly after the two of you had been born. Your mother fell ill and spent a lot of her time in the hospital, and I was unable to support the both of you with the job that I had.

“I tried to find another job that paid more, but for a high school dropout, there weren’t exactly many options available. It was a difficult choice to make, but ultimately I decided that the only way for both of you to live happy, healthy lives, was to give one of you up…”

“T-That’s horrible!” Trixie shouted. “So you just dumped the unicorn off on some random earth pony family so that the other one could live happily ever after?!”

“Of course not!” Blitz defended. “I knew the ponies I decided to give you up to. They were a nice couple who were unable to conceive a child of their own, so it was seemingly a decision that would benefit us all. But the more time that passed, the more I wondered what had ever happened to that filly I gave up. What was she doing? What kind of mare was she becoming? Was she happy? Did she know the truth about me? Did she… hate me?”

Blitz sighed. “Eventually, my fear got the best of me, and I asked your parents to never tell you where you truly came from. I… I was a coward. I never wanted the time to come that I had to face you… but now that it’s happened, I’m actually glad that it did. Trixie, I’m not asking for your forgiveness, but you have to know, what I did, I did it because I love you, and-”

“Enough,” Trixie said, turning her head to the side. “It doesn’t matter. The fact is that you abandoned me. It’s too late for you to be my dad at this point.”

“Don’t you think that that’s a little harsh?” Rarity asked. “He may have given you up, but he is still your father.”

Rainbow Dash looked between Trixie and Rainbow Blitz, a conflicted expression on her face and she took in the situation. Finally, she couldn’t take it anymore. With a groan, she ran behind Trixie and pushed her towards their dad.

“W-What are you doing?!” Trixie demanded.

“What a good sister should be doing!” Rainbow answered. “Dad’s obviously feeling guilty, and you’re not making it any better! Can’t you just try to forgive him?”

“Why should I?!” Trixie asked, glaring at Rainbow Dash.

“Because we’re family, and that’s what family does!” Rainbow Dash answered, returning Trixie’s glare.

After a few moments, Trixie huffed and turned away. “… I suppose… Trixie can give him another chance.” Rainbow Blitz’s face lit up with some hope, as did the faces of everypony else gathered. “After all, it’s not like Goldie Delicious was a terrible mother.”

Applejack’s eyes shot wide open. “Wait. Goldie Delicious?”

Trixie nodded. “Oh. My. GOOOOOOOOOSH!” Pinkie Pie screamed as she jumped into the air and landed back onto the cloud, gathering everybody except for Rarity and Rainbow Blitz into a big group hug. “You know what this means?! We’re all related in some way! ONE BIG HAPPY FAMILY!”

Rarity frowned as she watched from the sidelines. “Ugh! What about me?! Aren’t I related in some way?”

Pinkie Pie released everypony from her hug and checked the scroll once more before gasping.

“Yes, yes?!” Rarity asked, stars in her eyes and a wide smile on her face.

“Sorry. I got nothin’,” Pinkie Pie replied with a shrug, before stretching her forelegs and returning to her previous group hug.

With a huff, Rarity stomped the floor and turned away. “Stupid family.”