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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Well... That was an interesting turn of events...
Also, STOP TOURMENTING NOT-SO-INNOCENT PONIES IN THE NAME OF PLOT! You're only allowed to do that to heroes, thier friends, and innocent bystanders. Have you no respect for the time honored traditions of the wasteland?
Once more you continue to improve your writing and it's a pleasure to see. I think you're getting better with descriptions, and the pacing in this chapter is pretty good. I think the only area where I felt things dragged a bit where with the swimming scene in the mine shaft, but even there it wasn't too big a deal. What really stood out to me this chapter of course was the twist with Big Lot and where she's ended up; did not see that coming and it surprised me in a very good way. Looking forward to seeing where you go with that.
Honestly not a lot more for me to say this time around. Ponies are moving around, everything looks like its going to come together at the Darkmines, and that'll be fun to see how it all resolves. And Split Tooth and Siren are bizarrely cute couple for a pair of amoral slavers.