• Published 4th Apr 2013
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Fallout: Equestria - Gaia Prevails - John Colt



The Wastelands! Where everyone is his special kind of crazy. I can, however, claim that I'm special! Nightmare freaking Moon wants me to be her new host. Umm... fun stuff...

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Chapter Nineteen: Anger

Chapter Nineteen

Anger



Silence.

It wasn’t the kind of silence I wasn’t fond of. A kind of silence nopony was fond of, I believe. Everyone of us has the ability to break it at any point in time we wish. We could simply speak up at will… but this silence has a power in it, one that keeps us from comforting each other. So we all just sat there, spending time in our heads. And, for some reason, I was thinking about silence, not about the matter at hoof… Cirrus.

I looked over to Turbulence. He was clearly in pain about the situation. I think it has hit him way harder than me. He had been crying again, I could clearly see it in his eyes… How can somepony just freely show their emotions? I mean, sure, I’ve cried in front of him and… Cirrus, but this was because I had a mental breakdown, not because I had an actual reason to cry.

Turbulence and Cirrus pretty much just had each other since they traveled with me, I don’t feel like a real pony to count as a friend for the two of them. So once again I have to question my relation to the two of them. Was I a friend to them? Turbulence has called me on my bullshit and might have been really thoughtful in making me that offer about my… sexual problems. It appeared like he just wanted to get laid way back when, but now considering everything, I think he’s a very wise pony.

Cirrus couldn’t be more different than him. She had truly only cared about her own pleasure in that situation. Just like she tried to get closer to me when we were still in the clouds. Then she developed a crush on me… She was childish

I looked over to Clint. Why was he still here? He had fulfilled his mission in bringing me to Black Oak. What is he still doing here with us? The only logical thing here is that in the past week he came to like us, and he too mourns for Cirrus. He might be a sadist, but only if he was the one to has caused the pain in someone he wants to dominate, like he threw me that raider kid. But, now…

I wish I was a real person like them. I made the decision to use a bioweapon’s devastation to gain popularity to further my own means. I made the decision to bring down a person who only tried to protect his town in the easiest way possible. I made the decision to kill a foal ‘just because’. And, most recently, I evaluated the risk it takes Clint to run through the forest to get help to pay him properly instead of offering all the money I have for Cirrus’ live was on the line. How can I live with myself?

The door opened and a nurse came in. She was a zebra, but I feel stupid for pointing that out in a pure-zebra settlement. “Excuse me.” She bowed. “But visiting hours are over. Once again, I assure you that if your friend wakes up we will get you immediately once her situation allows it.” ‘Once again’? It’s been only three days, and she feels like she needs to say ‘once again’. Why does this annoy me so much?

I looked over Cirrus. Besides the tubes going into her nose she looked like she just sleeping… so peaceful… Why can’t I even bring myself to cry for her? Maybe because I don’t realize this is really happening, something makes me think that Cirrus will simply bounce back and be okay again, but that’s not going to happen. She’s ‘lucky to be alive’, which means of course that whatever state she’s in when she wakes up would make her wish she died.

At some places her flesh tensed up so blood wasn’t able to pump through her veins, and the body part started to die off, but they had been able to save everything. The bad thing is that her nervous system took damage to a degree that is not yet known. Cirrus might be completely paralyzed when she wakes up, but there’s also the chance that she’ll wake up without any signs of this ever happening.

The odds have always been in my favor. Come on, let them be in my favor again. I don’t know who I have to pray to do make this happen… Craft!

“Miss?” The nurse ended my train of thought. “I’m sorry but you have to go now.”

I looked up and saw Turbulence and Clint already halfway out the door. “Yes, of course.” I smiled, because I have a plan now. I stood up and left the room. “Guys, I need to do something. I see you later.”

As a cover-up I looked at my PipBuck, as if the new memory had loaded in already. Clint wasn’t familiar with the gesture, but Turbulence understood. We said our good-byes, and while I walked off to the house I got assigned to I’ve heard them talk about getting a drink.

Black Oak was a strange settlement. I believe this is because it has already been a strange research facility to begin with. All the buildings were tree houses high up above the ground. The trees were all of a dark color, but the namesake, an oak tree was the only tree that was truly black.

The black oak was a strangely out of place tree in the midst of this very different forest. It was at least two centuries old, which lead me to believe it was planted during the war, and it was the reason why there has been a research facility in this place to begin with, but I had no clear evidence to support that theory, I’ve never gotten around to ask if I can see it up close.

The entire tree-house-complex was warded against the creatures of the forest, but strangely enough they have signs and mask hanging up that speak the opposite. ‘Come in’, and ‘welcome’. None of these zebras here were afraid of me, and Clint has been right, they were nut jobs. Or, ‘eccentrics’, the proper term for rich nut jobs.

“Ahh… Miss Aideen.” Oh shit, Queen nut job. “What a coincidence to bump into you here.” Dahlia was a zebra mare in her fifties. She wore a beautiful white gown and some jewelry. Most of it was gold, but a necklace was bluish black, and for some reason I didn’t understand I recognized it as the same material I saw in the laboratory of Gaia Prevails.

“Yeah,” I forced a smile. “A total coincidence, that I take the shortest route to my house after visiting hours are over.”

She laughed. “Haha. seems like you caught me…”

I interrupted her. “Or the other way around.”

She sighed. “Miss Aideen, We provide you a lot here.” Yeah, free lodge, food, and they let me restock my alchemy and cooking supplies. “I wish you would at least come over, if I invite you to tea.” They were too generous… it was creepy, and she just weirds me out.

“Look I…” I paused, and thought about it a little more.

They surely want something from the fact that I have Craft inside of me, and this was going to be really awkward once the topic comes up, so I was avoiding her as best as I could. Funny enough I was just about to go to a private place to talk to Craft, but maybe I should play nice for once. After all they are also a faction I could have on my side when I am going to take over the Company… I rubbed my head; what has my life come to?

Anyway, if tea with her is going to happen then under my contitions. “Dahlia, I just made myself some plans for tonight, but I guess it wouldn’t mess up my schedule when you will come with me to the lovely house you provided for me. Then I make us some tea and cook a little bit, and afterwards I can get started on my own plans.”

“Miss Aideen, you are our guest, you don’t have to cook for me, I…”

“Are you refusing my offer to tea? Because if I recall this whole thing started because I didn’t come to you. And, I believe, after everything you have done for us already, this is the least I could do. So please, let me cook for you.” I knew I had her, Dahlia cannot refuse anymore.

“Then I gladly accept.”

*** *** ***

We entered my house. Okay, Smalltalk. “I have to say, you have a very lovely village. These houses are amazing.”

“Quite the flattery for my ancestors. Yes…” She smiled and looked around to take in all the features of the houses. “I would have liked to provide you with only the best, but as it turns out all our houses are built like that. Each one has it’s own tank of water, and multiple heating mojos.” Both things I was using right now to make some tea. “My mother used to say that ‘there are two ways of doing things. Why not choose the right way?’ These houses have clearly been built the right way.” This is weird.

“My mother used to say that too, and she said she had it from her mother. The ‘There are two ways of doing things…’-phrase.” I added tealeaves into our hot water and floated a cup already over to the table where Dahlia has placed herself already.

“What a fun coincidence… Your mother to know old zebra-wisdoms, but then she also gave you a, for ponies, unusual name.” She took in the tea’s aroma, but, obviously, didn’t drink just yet.

“A lot of the ponies in Stable Eight had such names.” I should only make a quick salad. Something quick to prepare and eat, I want her out as soon as possible. Good thing I have a custom herb and spice mix ready for the kind of salad I decided to make, it only needs some oil and vinegar, and it’ll still be tasty.

“Yes, I know. I paid the wyvern to give me all the information about your heritage as well. I’m sorry for the invasion of your privacy, but I just had to know.”

“Know what exactly?” Has she assumed the same thing I did? But what would they know about Spellfield?

“You carry the same name as the youngest daughter of the prophet,” The prophet? “and she was a unicorn. Faith seems to go strange ways.”

I took the salad and floated it over to the table, along with my own cup of tea, and I sat myself opposite of her. “But I’m no descendant of Spellfield.” I looked for her reaction to my complete guess. Would there be another prophet out there with a daughter named Aideen whose heritage could be cleared by checking Stable Eight’s genealogical tree? Probably not.

“I guess I shouldn‘t be surprised you know his name, after all you carry around some of his texts.” She pointed to the books I have lying around on the nightstand. “But I am surprised that you know we think of him as the prophet. I assume you‘ve just said it and waited for my reaction, right?”

There was no point in denying it. “Exactly.” She might have concluded the same thing I did and thinks that this Aideen had changed her name, maybe she’ll bring that topic up.

“That’s the reason why you are here, Aideen. Your possible relation to him.” Yep, here we go. “I was so sure you were… If I had known you were not related to him I wouldn’t have ordered the wyvern to bring you right here.” Oh. “I should have made it two missions. One to check your background, and one to bring you here. I’m really sorry for interrupting your journey.”

Interesting… but she’s a liar, that’s not why I was brought here at all. All that shaman stuff for spirits is for Craft, and Dahlia wants… something I don‘t know yet. “I understand.”

“You are free to go,” Is she implying I assumed I was a prisoner? Or that she would have tried to keep me here? “but I would like you to stay with us for a little while longer. We have many more of the prophet’s texts, and you could learn of our ways.” She wants me to stay here and become one of them, that’s the reason for all the free stuff and friendliness. “I do not want to force our religion onto you, of course.” She quickly added, desperately wanting me on her good side.

“I think you know my answer. I’m afraid, that for now I have to refuse. But as long as my friend is here I will stay too. And you’ve used the right bait, I’m very interested in reading more of Spellfield’s works.”

Dahlia looked down. “That’s not how I want you to stay here. Because… You know what odds are?”

“Odds? You mean like: ‘Not likely to walk again.’ or, ‘Not likely to fly again.’, and my personal favorite ‘not likely to wake up’.” Like everyone, she just assumes Cirrus will die, and that just pisses me off. “No, you listen to me, Dahlia! Cirrus will wake up and she will be fine, because I say she will.”

She smiled, and gave me a bow. “Were you familiar with that quote or is divine coincidence upon us again?” My expression must have given it away, because she continued. “He said ‘No, you listen to me, Luna. Gaia will prevail, because I say she will.’ in their alteration. Their fight in 1029 that was covered up so the public never got informed about it.”

Their fight? I guess it only makes sense that at one point they crashed heads because he worked against her. It was covered up? Why? Hmm… Celestia being involved with a terrorist organization might have made a bad headline. And here I thought I knew about the war and what happened- But all the cover ups and propaganda and whatnot the Ministry of Morale and Image did, kind of made it hard to objectively look at it, because only one side tells the story… at least so far. I really need to find out what they else they know. The memories are good, but I need to know more. I also need to keep the Memorhedron and the fact that there is a Gaia Prevails facility at Mt. Mustang a secret.

“What are you thinking about?”

“Cirrus…” I immediately felt bad for using her as an excuse, but it was the most obvious thing I could have gotten lost in my head. “I don’t want to lose her.”

“I understand… I’ll tell them again they have to do everything in their power to help your friend.” Dahlia bowed to me again, and finished her meal. “Thank you for the meal.”

“You’re quite welcome.” How I hate this politeness. “But I’d like to get to my schedule now.”

“Understandable. I’ve taken enough of your time already, but I hope to be able to talk to you tomorrow.”

“We’ll see.” Wow, that sounds like a challenge. “I wish you a good evening.”

“Yes, thank you.” She was standing in my door now and bowed to me again. She really likes bowing to me… “Merry meet, and merry part.”

I pretended to not know that her good bye-phrase has a proper answer. “Good bye.” Merry meet again, my ass. I smiled and closed the door.

Okay, I just got information, and have more freely available. What do I make of it? They are surely filtered through their own religion where they see Spellfield as an prophet. I’m not sure how I stand to that. Sure, he had probably known about the balefire fallout that is to come, and had maybe helped and warned ponies and zebras about it, but I’m quite sure he would have never wanted to be worshipped as a prophet. He’s an intellectual, and I’m quite sure he shares my opinion towards religion, after all we have way too much in common already.

Then there was the fact that she obviously wants to be friendly to me. I know I have that effect on people, but usually it comes along with an lusty flash in their eyes. But her intentions are something different entirely. What also disturbs me is that she gives me all the time in the world, maybe when I have my journey behind me that I return to them. Like she only wants the ageless spirit inside of me.

Let’s assume for a minute that all she says is true, and they are really just a bunch of nice people who help out the ponies they have wrongly lead into their forest, what then? Hmm… I got nothing; there are simply no friendly people in the … wastelands, but this isn’t the wastelands. They have nice houses, the forest gives them all they need, from food to alchemical supplies, and what it doesn’t give them freely they can grow themselves, or trade outside because they can practically mass produce those mojos in here. No. there is no concept of friendly people.

“You think they want to worship me, and pray to me like I’m some kind of god?” Craft asked me.

I wasn‘t at all surprised to see her, but I thought I would have to call her. “You think?” I can’t imagine Craft sitting around getting treated like a goddess. “What would you do?”

“I’d kill them all just for fun, because if someone prays to dark, demonic forces, it’s just what they deserve.”

“What if they’d want you to do that?”

“Can’t torture a masochist…” She scratched her head. “This is hard… I could leave some of my force on you, then get myself another body and escape before they know it. Let them worship you, while I’m on the road.”

“Aww… I thought we had something special.” I joked.

“We do, honey, we do.” She went in on my joke. “But, you have to understand, I need to be free.”

“So, let’s just take what they can give us and go away without ever meeting them again?” The easiest solution is the best in most cases.

“Yeah, but nothing stops the from sending another merc on you, or their own people this time.”

“Well, we can simply kill them, can’t we? They don‘t ever need to know what happened to them.” I suggested.

“Aideen?” Craft narrowed her eyes. “Did you just suggest to kill a bunch of innocent so you can have your peace?” Shit, I really just did that, didn’t I?

“It was a hypothetical thing… I wouldn’t really do it.”

“Like you didn’t really kill that colt just so you’d have your peace.” Craft threw in.

“You killed hundreds just to see me dressed up!” I defended myself in pointing out her most recent cruelty to ponykind.

“Yeah, but I’m the ancient evil here.” Like that was a defense. “You’re supposed to be a normal mare, and you killed a foal! I can never understand how mortals are capable of evil to begin with.” I can’t believe that mare just now. “I mean, yeah, I’m something out of this world, doesn’t mean I get a free pass, but I’m a monster, so I don’t care. But you! You’re supposed to be good! You’re supposed to be the hero of the piece!”

“Maybe you’re rubbing off on me.”

“Oh great, so it’s my fault, no matter what? Sure, if it makes you feel better, keep telling yourself that. But you are responsible for the decisions you make, Aideen.” She dissolved.

“Oh what? Silence treatment now? Really mature.” I know she can hear me, but there was hardly a point in saying stuff out loud.

*** *** ***

“Hiiiiiiyaaaah.” Screaming makes blowing off steam all the more satisfying. Black Oak had training grounds, they need it for their guards to protect them from the monsters of the forest if they venture to near to the settlement, although the wards are in place. “Waaaahh.”

“You know, screaming only gives you a dry mouth, and you feel unfit to fight that much. Also it gives away your position.” One of the guards who was here at this late hour has assigned himself to be my trainer. I know why he did it, but he won’t get anywhere. So far he was really the only one who checked me out with lusty eyes in this settlement, but I shall not deny him his eye candy of a sexy, sweaty, exotic pony mare. At least I figure a pony would be exotic for him as he has lived his entire life in Black Oak around zebras.

“But it feels fucking great.” I teased him with saying that in a sultry way. It was a reward for his patience with me, for two hours he had condemned himself to train someone whose only fighting experience consist of running and hiding. I had returned the favor of checking him out, of course. Common courtesy or something. I can’t deny that he was quite handsome for a zebra, and just my type. As Clint has said ‘well built, smart, though intellectually underneath me’, and he definitely had his fighting knowledge and knew how to properly apply it. So smart? Check. Though underneath me? Check. Well built? Yep. “But this spear does not… What’s your favorite tool to play with?”

He smiled. “Lance.”

“Hope you can get me a big one.”

“Hehe. As you wish.” Oh, he thinks he’s getting lucky tonight… He turned around to walk to the weapon stand and get me a new weapon.

But before he was able to return a courier entered the room and quickly approached me. “Miss Aideen.” I simply nodded to make him continue, as if my identity had to be confirmed, as I was the only unicorn in a 500 mile radius. “I’m happy to inform you that your companion Cirrus has awoken in the hospital.”

“Cirrus’s awake? Wh-What’s her condition?” I need to see her, but… I looked over to the stallion whose name I’ve already forgotten after he introduced himself three hours ago. I took a look at his belongings he left here to find a clue of his identity.

“I… wasn’t informed. I was only told to get you, which was hard as I couldn’t find you. You told your friends you were in your quarters.”

“Shhh…” I looked over again to my trainer, somehow I didn’t want to leave him. “How long has she been awake?”

The courier checked the time on his watch. “A little over an hour.”

“Can you tell him that I had to go, and that I’m sorry?” I didn‘t wait for an answer and added, “thanks,” before I bolted out of the training grounds.

*** *** ***

I had simply stood outside of Cirrus room for a while, and was unable to enter. What it sounded like was that Cirrus and Turbulence had a serious cloud-bathing session right now. Clint had tried to tell me, but I wouldn’t listen. Why had I had dismissed the idea? Why didn’t I listen? Why couldn’t I be happy for Cirrus to be alive and well enough to... ‘cloud-bathe’? Or why couldn’t I be happy for my friends to have grown fond of each other? I should have been able to see this coming, but why didn’t I?

They had promised themselves to me, that’s why. And they have betrayed me… so-to-speak. At least I felt betrayed, and I was angry… again. There had been so much anger inside of me recently, or was it? I feel like it always has been there, I could just focus it now when I was able to make up something like a betrayal, even though logic told me it’s wrong.

Where have my hooves brought me? I looked around. I just wandered around when I had to get away from the hospital. It was a part of the city with homes, sure, but it wasn’t mine. The name of the treelines wouldn’t help me, but I checked anyway, maybe my brain can make some kind of connection, and my brain did make a connection, but not to the thing I wanted to. I’ve read the name of this treeline before… on a training bag. Let’s see… 27... 29... 31... there 33. I knocked at the door twice. Knock, knock.

After a short while my trainer opened the door. He was perfect right now. A good way to get back at them. I could show them I’m not dependent on them.

“Miss Aideen?” He was clearly surprised. “What are you doing here?”

“A mare visiting a stallion’s quarters at nighttime? I believe you can think of a reason why I’m here.” The answer is sex. Cirrus and Turbulence can do it behind my back? I can do it behind theirs.

He backed away from me, his eyes darting around in search for an escape. A figurative escape, of course, as it was his home… Wait. That means he want’s me… to go? “Miss Aideen, I’m sorry but I’m afraid I cannot get sexually involved with you.”

He’s rejecting me? I’m on an angry rampage because my two friends are sleeping with each other and offer myself up to someone to get back at them, and he’s rejecting me? “What?” You’re supposed to be a mindless secrecy stallion like all of them are. “Then why were you hitting on me so hard in the training hall?”

“I don’t know?” That’s not an answer. “Reflex, maybe?”

“Reflex?” I repeated, trying to find a sense in the word.

“Yeah… I mean… look at you.” He gestured to me. “But I assumed you were only teasing me, and giving me a show of what I can never have,” can never have? “because you knew that…” He stopped. Because I know… what?

I narrowed my eyes. “You’re not… snip snip?” Judging from his expression I had to say the word. „Eunuch?“

“What!? NO! My gear is perfectly intact. It’s because it’s… you.”

“Me? You cannot…” He’s not gay, is he? “with a mare..?”

“No! Gah…” He took a serious expression on. “Okay, now I at least know you are deliberately messing with me, and I do not appreciate it. I know I cannot force you… but I’d like you to leave my quarters.” What’s going on?

“I’m afraid I really don’t know what you mean. The only thing I know is that… Wait, this is about the evil-thingy, isn’t it?” Craft ruins my life.. “Because I keep telling zebras that I didn’t choose to be like that and that I’m a good person.” Define: ‘Good person’. One who does not murder a foal; one who does not fuck up democracy; one who does not screw with the next best guy to get back at her two closest friends because they started do love each other. “Okay, maybe I’ve made some bad decisions in my life, but… I don’t know.”

He narrowed his eyes, thinking about the situation. What is he assuming? I wish Xanthrines explanation would have been sufficient for me to make up a regular excuse, but so far I hadn’t been able to come up with anything. “You truly have no idea?”

“No.” I confirmed him. “I do not.”

“Hm.. I never thought I’d have to be in this situation where I have to explain this. It’s why I became a guard. I didn’t want to deal with it. I didn’t even believe in it until… well… you showed up.”

“I showed up?” I repeated. Or do they mean Craft? I had guessed wrongly before, but with zebra’s behavior I simply cannot think of anything.

“Dahlia said you…” He paused. “I’m not supposed to tell you.”

“And why can’t you have sex with me?”

“To be honest, I’m afraid of Dahlia, she’s radical. If I touch you and I wasn’t supposed to… If I mess up her plan in some way she knows no mercy, and she’s a happy torturer.” His eyes widened. “I wasn’t supposed to tell you that. You… ahh… ” He took a breath. “Fuck.”

Dahlia is a ‘happy torturer’? “Oh wow, that’s good to know. Her all friendly behavior was just creepy, for a second I actually thought there are people like that. But if it’s all just an act and she’s a bitch it makes way more sense.” I’m truly relieved; he only stared at me. “You know, I can deal with bad guy. Bad guys are predictable, but good and honest people? No way.”

“Okay…” He wasn’t sure how to respond.

“So here’s the deal. You tell me what I want to know, and I don’t tell Dahlia you tried to rape me.”

“What? I didn…” He stopped in his objection, realizing what my plan was.

“You remember how I said I was a good person? Sadly sometimes I have to be evil, but if you cooperate, nothing will happen to you. I’ll actually be in your debt.” I feel bad…

“Okay… short version of our religion is that there is a true god out there who once gave Luna the power over the night, but was wrongly struck down and went to sleep for a while. This god might rise up again, take a new host, and once we find it we serve it to as it ends the world and creates a new one in perfect harmony. If we do evil in this world to further this mean it doesn’t really matter because we can start over in the new world anyway.”

“Uff…” I puffed out air in frustration. “Religion… why would anybody choose to believe in this stuff?”

“There’s more, of course, but I think you get the point.”

“Yeah, you’re saying Dahlia wants to use me to fulfill her wish of resetting the world.”

“Nope.”

“Hmm… what ‘nope’? What do you mean?”

“Well, you see, I didn‘t say anything about you.” What does he mean? “You automatically assumed that you are this god’s new host, because you already know you are.” Not good.

“Ah, no… I…” Don’t stutter, Aideen. “It was just the only figure that was in that story, besides Luna.” That wasn’t convincing and I knew it.

“You are, aren’t you?”

“Yeah, but she wants to find a new host, because apparently I’m not ‘suitable’. And, we also hypothetically talked about what if you try to worship her.”

“You are in conversation with the god?” He barely believed me.

“Well…” How much do I tell him? “She can show herself to me as an illusion when she wants to. At first I thought she was a regular mare I just happen to bump into over and over again, but then I found out I only imagine her…” I shouldn’t go into the details of my mental breakdown. “And then I found out she is the entity that turned Luna into Nightmare Moon.”

“Wait… ‘she’?”

“Well, she said she’s genderless but she makes herself look like a mare to me.” Just why am I telling him all this? “You have to understand, that all we talk about here is private, alright?”

“I won’t tell, I promise.” He assured me.

I just nodded and we left the room in awkward silence. I feel like there are tons of things I should still ask him, but I couldn’t come up with something right now. I had the confirmation of them praying to Craft, and I figured their mentality out pretty much. What is there left to ask? It took me a while to think about the wartime research facility, but he already spoke up again before I had the chance to ask.

“So… It’s getting late…” He cleared his throat, and began to blush. “Do you… still want to stay the night?”

I… completely forgot about that! My initial reason to visit him… and I still don’t know his name. Shit. I’m not angry at Cirrus and Turbulence anymore for their ‘betrayal’, so I wouldn’t do it to get back at them, but… there was a ‘but’. I’d really want to, but I don’t know exactly why? Does sexual attraction need an explanation? It just happens. But I have to think about stuff like that… come on, Aideen, make up your mind!

“I take your silence as a no?”

“No.”

“Okay…” He was slightly disappointed.

“No. I meant ‘no’ to if that was a ‘no’, and no, it wasn’t, so yes.” This was awkward.

“Yes? You will stay the night?” Why does he have to ask again?

I had to take a breath before I managed to confirm. “Yes, I will stay the night.”

I feel like smiling is the proper gesture when saying something like that, so I did… This is not good, I’m already questioning every move I make. There has to be a proper etiquette in things that are sex-related. How to ask for it, what to do in the time from the agreement until a suitable place is found, and how you actually start it. How to people do it? I have no idea.

Okay, seemed like smiling is a good start, he returned it. But… he wore a somewhat perverted smile, that kind of smile of a stallion who knows he’s getting some right now. He was walking closer to me… with that smile, that kind of smile I learned to hate, and I let m own smile crack.

He noticed that and stopped in his approach, and frowned. “What’s the matter?”

“Nothing.” I said without hesitation, this was not the time to get cold hooves. I’ve already decided I was going to go through with this. Although not because of the initial reason, but because I want to. Because I need to finally get this behind me. “Come here.” I reached out with my foreleg and pulled us together.

We were touching… so close together… GET YOURSELF TOGETHER! I was taller than him, so I had the perfect opportunity to nibble at his ear. It was an erogenous zone one could began to play with in the process of sexual intercourse, right? I hadn’t kissed him, but I was practically starting to playfully explore his body… right? Right? This was a valid course of action, yes, I felt confident and softly bit into his ear.

He leant down to kiss me on my shoulder. I shivered, but he assumed it was the good kind of shiver one does during sex, so he planted more kisses on the area and made his way up my neck. As I kept his head down to have continued access to his ear he thankfully wasn‘t able to get up far, keeping the area he could leave his saliva on my coat small. Bodily fluids are so unsanitary.

I know he’s not one of the slavers who try to humiliate me by doing so, which mean he has to think this was pleasurable for me. Is it for normal mares? For mares who haven’t experienced being raped? To be fair he was controlling his flow of saliva quite good and kept it in himself as good as he could. For me his kisses only tickled. But tickling is a good thing, right? I was uncomfortable about the whole situation, but it’s supposed to be good, and it was already going somewhat better than I expected.

Who am I kidding? We started 5 seconds ago and I was way too much in my own head. I should simply continue doing what I was doing, but soon ran into a problem when I had trace around his whole ear. Not the question myself if I had done the ear-nibbling right, as his mouth was occupied and he wasn’t giving me feedback. My current problem was more essential. What now? How should I continue? Should I nibble around the other way of his ear? Or change position and nibble his other ear? The verb ‘nibble’ began to sound unreal in my head. Who comes up with something like that? No! Focus on your problem!

How do I continue? Should I go down to his mouth and… kiss him? I don’t know how to kiss, and he’ll realize that, and will know I’m not normal! Don’t start panicking. Simply move away from his head… There was only one place I could think of. If I would do this, I’d be in control, with him at my mercy, completely having to wait for me to stimulate him. Control is something I’m good at.

I retreated from him and put my hoof to his chest to keep a little distance, so he was not trying to kiss me and he could clearly see my face. Smile… smile, Aideen! I smiled, and had my eyes half open, like bedroom-eyes, or something. Anyway, it’s meant to be sexy. I nodded to his bed in the corner, making my intentions of moving clear.

“Already?” Oh shit, I’m moving to fast, am I not? “Okay.” My heart continued beating. I haven’t even noticed that it had set out for a few beats.

Reaching the bed I stopped for him to gesture he should start lying on it. I know I have to be the one on top to stay in control, but I wasn’t moving to sex just now. I’d train myself in some more foreplay. I don’t want to simply lay on my back while he slobbers all over me, no, I wouldn’t allow him to… what’s the proper term for it? Let’s go with oral-sex. I was ready to give it, but I‘m not going to submit to whatever he plans to do before he gets to the main act.

He sat himself on his bed and rolled halfway on his back, just to block my view to what he has to offer. He’s expression wasn’t as if he was ashamed to reveal himself because of normal shame, or because what he had to offer was unimpressive, no. He blocked my view just to tease me. It was like a present I had to unwrap myself. I’m quite certain that in his eyes was some playful pride. He wants to surprise me. Okay, let’s see what you have to offer for me.

I leaned myself over the bed to have a very close view, but he kept his legs together and angled so I was still denied my prize. Once again I looked up to read his expression. Seems like I really have to open them up myself. I placed my forelegs on his hindlegs to have a good grip, and with a single motion I opened them up. Oh wow, how did he hide that? Well above average...

*** *** ***

I woke up more relaxed than… since I could remember. Letting out an satisfied groan I snuggled myself a little more into the bed I was laying in… Then I remembered last night and the reason why I was so relaxed. Opening my eyes I saw that there was nobody besides me. Unfortunately the rest of the bed was empty, so I set myself up and looked around my quarters.

The noise that woke me was water flowing from the bathroom, which means that the stallion I spend the night with and whose name I still don’t know was taking a shower. There were a few books on the nightstand, and out of curiosity I floated one towards me. It seems my strong stallion wasn’t as uneducated as I thought. Hmm… I haven’t even looked around his quarters yesterday.

The book was [Bookname] by Spellfield. This was strange… I had the same book placed on top of my nightstand in my quarters… I looked around again. These were my quarters. What? The water flow in the bathroom stopped, and Craft came out, drying her mane with a towel.

“Oh, hey sweetie. Did you enjoy last night as much as I did?” She wiggled her hips.

“Wha-” I was at a loss of words, but could still mutter one. “What?”

“Well, you see, we had a fight yesterday, so I decided to play a little prank on you. You thought you left your quarters yesterday, but you didn’t. You didn’t go to the training field to blow of steam, you didn’t meet a hot stallion, and you haven’t had sex with said stallion.”

“You… You did this?” That means that Cirrus… “What about…?”

“Still in a coma.” She said quick. It was painful, as if she had stabbed me in the heart.

“Why would you do this to me?”

“What do you think about my performance? I felt like a few lines were a little bit out of character, like you spilling the beans about me, but I believe I delivered it.” She has made a fool of me.

Anger rose up inside of me again. “You asshole!”

“What? What did I do?” The stallion retreated from me. I looked around and was back in the room I fell asleep in, the air was a little muff and smelled like sex, and the sheets I was lying in were clearly covered in our dried bodily fluids. Gross. What?

“What just happened?” I growled, still angry. Is this yet another trick? Or has Craft telling me that it all was a trick been the trick, and yesterday evening really happened the way I thought it did?

“I- I don’t know what you mean, but whatever I did I’m sorry, whatever it is I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings, and if it’s because I don’t know what it is, I’m sorry too and I didn’t try to hurt your feelings.” This seems like an excuse he studied in, as if he has little luck with mares.

“Is this real?” ‘What is real anyway?’ I know, I know… but which of the two versions I just saw was the actual one? If this one was real then Craft is perfectly capable of making me think I was in my own quarters, just like she had always been able to make me think she was really there. It wasn’t far fetched that she could make me imagine an entire evening, and now this…

“Is this real?” He repeated. “What do you mean?”

“She’s messing with my head…” I rubbed my temples as I realize I had a headache.

“Soooo…” He stretched the word to give himself some time to think about his next sentence. “You’re not sure what’s real and what not? The god is making you see things?”

“Well… yeah, kind of… And please don‘t call her god. She‘s lots of things, but certainly no god.”

“Okay… Then can I assure you I’m real? I’m real, really, and so was last night.” A sly smile adorned his face now. I felt like I should punch it in.

I finally stood up from the sheets we defiled yesterday. “But if you weren’t real you would probably say the same thing. Hmm… Swear it. Officially, on your name.” I develop to become an evil mastermind.

“Sure. I, Kha’ref, swear on my name that I am real and that last night was real.”

I smiled. I got his name. It was a stupid name, but it was a name. “Thank you. But I need to get going now, I have to check on my friend.”

“Ahh… yeah. Though you should take a shower first. I like my head the place it is, Dahlia… you know.”

“Yes, I… I should take a shower. I’m going to take a shower.” I nodded. So far I have never taken a shower after sex to merely destroy the evidence, only to get rid of somepony’s feeling on me. I didn’t feel like I need to do that with Kha’ref, but I have to destroy evidence for the sake of his well being. “I’m going to take a shower now.” I announced again when I slipped into the bathroom.

After my shower we said our good byes (we didn‘t kiss, though), and I teleported away into my own quarters to not be seen leaving his, also I needed my own set of clean towels. Teleportation was so handy, but I feel like I shouldn’t overuse it or it would lose it’s flair. Then I made my way to the hospital.

*** *** ***

“Aideen, good morning!” Cirrus shouted out, when I entered her room having asked the doctor to get us some time alone. Cirrus was still lying in bed, and she still had tubes coming out of her nose. “You seem to have arrived awfully fast.” Was that sarcasm?

“No, I just wanted to check on you, sorry about last night, I was out to acquire some information, and when I heard about it and came here you…” There was no point denying what I heard. “seemed busy.”

“I… ahh… what are you talking about?”

“What am I..?” What‘s going on? “What do you mean?”

“I woke up half an hour ago, and you are practically instantly here, even before Clint and Turbulence who can fly. Oh, it’s the teleportation-spell-thingy. That makes sense. But you kind of seem… not overly relieved that I woke up… Aideen.” What?

“No, you woke up yesterday evening…” Thankfully I know someone who would make me think stuff like that. “Craft…”

“Yep?” I turned around to face her.

“Aideen?” Cirrus tone was worried, but I ignored her.

“You made me think that… and then lead me to Kha…” So she really did control me somehow last night. “This was all your doing, wasn’t it?”

“Dance, my little pony, dance!” As if there’s a point in arguing with Craft…

I turned around. “So Cirrus, how are you?”

“Well, I can move, but I’m gonna need some time until I can run or fly again. What‘s up with Nightmare Moon?”

“Okay… good, but that’s your diagnosis, how are you feeling.” I disregarded her asking for Craft.

“I’m very grateful to have such an awesome friend who did the right best thing she could do. The fact that you instantly cut that thing out and didn’t use forceps was a good call. And I’m grateful that I immediately got more intensive care here. And I’m grateful to whoever watches over me and made me wake up with only little problems.” I frowned. “I know you’re not religious, Aideen, but I think Celestia was watching out for me there.”

I know Celestia’s just a mare, and I had a good idea who actually has watched out for Cirrus, but I’m not at liberty to tell. Cirrus needs this. It makes her happy to believe the world is like that, where some deity gives a crap about random ponies.

She continued. “So, what happened while I was out? We arrived at our destination, I presume, but what happened, and what did Nightmare Moon just do?”

“We should talk about that when we are all together again, but so far all these zebras have been very friendly, they let us stay and gave us for free, they even treated you for free. But there is no such thing as ‘free’. Unless you’re not the costumer, but the product that is being sold. Like a plant they care fore until they harvest you. But we will be gone by then even if we have to carry you. For now though, we act oblivious. More details later.” And again I didn’t say anything about Craft.

She nodded. “Okay. So I can let myself get treated nicely, but shall not give anything away.”

“Oh, and one more thing before Turbulence and Clint come here.” Would Craft have made that up or was there some truth in it? “If you would have an relationship with Turbulence, would you tell me?”

Her eyes went wide for a second, but then she took on a defeated expression. “We thought you wouldn’t like that issue, because… we’re only…” She studied my expression for a while before she found the courage to tell me. “Fuck buddies.”

“Uhhkay…” How to I respond to that? “You only latched onto me because you were sexually needy, and as I’m a bad specimen to extract sex from you went for the next best thing.” I figured, this was the only logical solution.

“No! It’s not like that. I…” Cirrus stopped when she realized it was probably exactly like that. “Well, maybe,” she admitted. “but I wouldn’t just jump into bed with anypony, he’s a really good guy. You would know that if you wouldn’t lock yourself in your room al the time and spend it reading, or with Craft.” She just has to continue bringing it up. “You would see that he’s…”

“Are you sure it’s only a ‘No feelings, just sex’-relationship?”

“Such a relationship isn’t uncomplicated…”

“Well, as long as you guys are happy it’s good enough thing for me.” I truly am happy for them… now. Sure, I‘ve been angry for some reason before, but now I‘m actually happy for them. “And you don’t have to worry about me, I’m not going to make this a triangle.”

“Aideen, you…”

“I’ll manage my issues.” I should probably tell her… but not now. “I came to realize that I have never cared about anyone before, that you guys are my friends, and…” and I lie to them to protect myself, right? The only reason I didn’t tell her I slept with a random zebra I just met was that she wouldn’t be angry at me. That I’m safe. I didn’t lie to protect her, what great friend am I. “…and I want you to be happy. I’ve coped with my issues for a long time, and I’ll deal with them, and now I don‘t have to worry about our friendship being compromised. Because you are my friends, both of you.”

Cirrus smiled. “Thanks, that means a lot to me, you know. I was always so worried about you because you distance yourself from us and do whatever. Turbulence too is always worried that you’re off talking with Nightmare Moon, and you’re not noticing how she manipulates you.” Like her pretending my friends are in a relationship and leading me to the guy I’d fuck to get back at them. Yeah, no, Craft’s not manipulating me at all. “But you have to be stronger than her, Aideen, please. You’re a real pony, she’s not. You ARE stronger than her. And if friendship banished her once, it can do it again, Aideen.”

I looked over to what Craft was doing now, she was leaning back in a chair on the other side of Cirrus, playing a pet simulator on her PipBuck. I have always been envious of others who have that program on theirs, but my mom wouldn’t allow it. “Aww, it died. Hey, let’s use the magic of friendship to revive it.”

“She can make me see and hear whatever she wants, but I think you’re right. She’s not nearly as strong as she wants me to believe she is.” Or else she would have taken control over my body completely a long time ago.

“Rise my little zombie minion, rise! Bwahahaha!” Craft was laughing maniacally. “That’s the true power of friendship!”

“Don’t worry, at the moment she’s just doing nonsense, not telling me to do anything.” I tried to set Cirrus ease, and, after all, I was telling the truth about Craft right now. “She thinks she’s funny.” I added.

“Okay… but you have to learn to tell the difference between what’s real and what not, Aideen. That’s important!”

“I’m not sure I know how to do that.” Am I able to see past Crafts tricks? Differentiate between truth and lie? I looked over to Craft to see if there might be an indicator that she is, in fact, not really present. She was back in her game, intensely mashing buttons to achieve… whatever. Is there something off about her that’s unlike her surroundings? For a while I studied her until I finally told Cirrus. “She doesn’t disappear for me and let‘s me stare at her, which means she’s confident that I won’t find an optical indicator that tells me if she’s real or not.” Craft nodded to that statement.

“But you can’t give up, we will find a way, you understand? Another way than simply let her possess someone else. You are strong enough to deal with her for the time and keep her at bay until we find a permanent solution.”

“Is she threatening me?” Craft raised an eyebrow. “What was that with being grateful?”

“Cirrus… I ahh… I kinda need to tell you that Craft might not be evil.”

“Not evil? She killed Celestia knows how many ponies, and you’re defending her?”

“Not evil in the pony sense of the word, as she’s no pony. Craft’s just trying to have fun and doesn’t care for other beings. That attitude might be considered evil, but we only need to find a way for her to have fun that doesn’t put ponies at harm.”

“Don‘t talk about me as if I weren‘t here.” Craft said that as if I had insulted her in some way. “But good luck at taming me and making me into a hero, or something.”

“So… you hungry? You’ve been fed through a tube for three days, I bet you’d need something to eat.”

Cirrus‘ eyes widened. “I’m starving!” She just now realized how hungry she actually was.




*** *** ***

Footnote: You have reached Level 15!

New Perk: Polished that Lance: Special training and taking care of an impressive staff weapon gave you +10 points in Melee.

Skill Note: Melee has reached 50.

Quest: Blind Date:
[X] Arrive at Black Oak.
[X] Meet Clint’s employer
[ ] Find out what she’s planning.

Companion Quest completed: Ticks
[X] Apply first aid to Cirrus
[X] Get her professional help.
[X] Make sure Cirrus’s well.