• Published 10th Oct 2011
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Fallout Equestria: New Pegas - Calbeck



Courier Six didn't survive the head shot...so Mr. Horse hired a bounty hunter to finish the job.

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Tag-Ends (notes for Chapter 22: "Mouthbreathers")

[Stable 20 was originally the "Party Stable", with an unending supply of chems for its residents (in hopes that ponies could achieve harmony through chemical bliss). It's still a functioning toxicology, with autonomous hydroponics and automated labs capable of serving as a full-blown chemical plant, which is why Horse wants it... for the industrial value. The Friends were already devolving into the chem-crazed gang they are by the time the Stable doors opened (emergency protocol, due to numerous "fun fires" set by addled ponies who wanted to watch the world burn). When the Friends got outside, they quickly learned how to have "fun" Wasteland-style; killing, looting, carousing and terrorizing for kicks --- and distributing chems on the cheap to the general population as a means of recruiting the poor and desperate to their never-ending "party".]

Pirate Friends Radio

[Horse needs Stable 20 cleared, both to gain access to its industrial resources and to eliminate the Friends as a threat to New Pegas' stability. He was originally going to have Cherry assassinate the gang's leadership to soften it up before his robots moved in to destroy the remnants piecemeal, but finding out about the Gardens of Equestria rearranged his priorities.]


Tag closed the Pit around midnight so everypony could get a bath, a good meal and some sleep before morning.

Cherry dreams about The Tree, guided by Pinkie's spirit: "Blood is thicker than reality" (because, she explains, blood is where matter and energy combine to create the soul, and the soul provides the focus for magic: "focus, hocus, pocus!"). Because every pony has a soul, every pony is a focal point for magic, at which point Cherry wakes up wondering what magic spell would get his great-great-great-grandaunt to shut up while he's trying to sleep.

As Cherry already has his assassination mission from Horse, this all happens to work out. Pink-E comes along to help Cherry spot Friends while they work their way through the West Pegas ruins, tracking Ranseur to Stable 3. Tag needs some "mission time" to build field experience. And Hard Way wants to ensure the recovery of the satchel of greenbacks, as the Vikeans' pending treaty with the NCR depends on it.

6AM - 9AM: Pre-mission shopping. This is mainly Cherry visiting the best arms dealer in town (Gun Runner reference?) to get Thunderchild and Mouthkicker modified for Earth Pony use. Tag-End accepts his old modded-up varminter and ten-millimeter pistol as hoof-me-down equipment, but refuses a bush outfit or armor --- until a fancy set of upgraded leather barding catches his eye. Not sure what Hard Way or Pink-E would be shopping for.

[Tag explains why he elected to remain a slave and earn his way in the world --- he wants to be better, to redeem himself. He learns to open memory orbs on Cherry's behalf, use more magic, and otherwise help out in that regard, doing things for Cherry he can't do himself.]

[Tag's full name is Taglierina (which he is embarrassed to admit), meaning "Cutter".]

[Reference Western Equestrian Arms and its rifle line (WEA-BU?), Tag's preference.]

[Hard Way: "I have yet to discover a circumstance, in which my sledgehammer runs out of ammunition."]

*** The stolen satchel of NCR greenbacks are Ranseur's bribe to Motor-Mouth: she wants to be able to come and go from the Stable freely, so she has a secure place to live while robbing the rich ponies of New Pegas. The NCR has plenty of wealthy ponies as well, but not so heavily concentrated in one spot. The diamond pendant is for herself, of course.

*** Cherry stops at a Freemane bath-house. He orders the "Round the World Squeaky Clean" service, paying for it in bits, but doesn't realize the mare assigned to "help wash" is in fact a whorse. When she comes onto him while he's relaxing in the bath, it triggers flashbacks and he nearly assaults her. She, angry over being rebuffed, calls him a "colt-cuddler", whereupon he actively jumps her. The brawl spills out into the main room, Hard Way intervenes, and the truth about his rape comes out. ("What? You complained about it?") The whorse explains being gang-raped is how she and many other prostitutes got into their line of work, Cherry snarks back with "and how many days did that go on for?". This shocks her, and the scene ends with Our Heroes leaving under a dark cloud.

*** Cherry, Tag-End and Pink-E try to sneak into the Stable, but Tag makes an unlucky slip. Cherry tries escaping using Wallbuster, but it turns out Stable doors are immune to it (anti-teleportation shielding) and he is caught again. The group is chained up (the chains include hoof-separation bars, to prevent a pony lockpicking their way free) and dragged before the gang leader, passing a number of defaced MoM posters along the way. Each one depicts a bouquet of balloons with the slogan "EVERY Day Can Be Party time!" underneath. Scrawled over each poster is a crime and its punishment: "Kill a Friend? Take a Breather." "Skip a Dare? Take a Breather." "Reject Friendship? Take a Breather". "Steal Party Supplies? Take a Breather." "Backtalk the Party Host? Take a Breather." Anyone caught doing any of these things is thrown into a Stable security cell for thirty days. If the cells fill up, all the prisoners are put in stocks, one to each of the Stable's old Carnival Row booths (the walls between having been removed to create one long booth), with a gas mask secured to their muzzle and connected to a pump hose. Friends all carry numbered tickets from one of the ride terminals to determine whose turn it is to pump at which booth. Whoever pops their pony first, wins a prize, with the surviving prisoners then being released (even outsiders who refused "Friendship"). Our Heroes don't find out about this until later, the posters are initially a curiosity.

*** Cherry and Tag-End refuse to join the Friends (Tag-End does so out of stubborn loyalty), and are dragged off to "take a Breather" (since their addition fills the cells). Since Pink-E can't take a Breather, she is checked for weapons and then chained to Motor-Mouth's tail base ("What a funny pink balloon! Mine."). Pink-E does try to hypnotize her while her bodyguards are distracted dragging the prisoners out of their cells and into manacles, but a lifetime of drugs and power make her so strong-willed that she's unaware of the attempt, giggling instead at the "spinny green lights". She is able, however, to slip Cherry and Tag one bottle each of "Sparkle-Cola: Limited Edition Gummy Flavor", with the whispered plea to chug it before anyone notices. Cherry wants to argue, but there's no time; he downs the bubblegum-flavored drink, and Tag obediently follows suit.

*** The opposite side of Carnival Row has been torn down and replaced with wooden bleachers, which fill up with spectators carrying snacks and making bets. Being the smallest of all the captives, everyone is sure Cherry will be the first to pop. Surprise is carrying the satchel of greenbacks around her neck, having just been given it by Ranseur as proof of winning her Dare to rob the Cherry Pit (she kept the gem for herself). Pink-E bets Surprise the satchel of greenbacks, against becoming a pinata, that Cherry will survive. As Cherry and the rest are put into the stocks, his stomach starts rumbling and he starts to feel gassy, just as the gas mask is placed over his face. Its valve-adjusted mouthpiece is jammed in first before the hood is strapped on, muffling the prisoners' protests and screams.

*** Sparkle-Cola Gummy lines the stomach with suspended particles of clear, magically-radioactive gum and contains extra carbonation. The Limited-Edition run was meant strictly for the winners of MoM-sponsored bubblegum-blowing contests, an early-War morale-boosting idea of Pinkie's (which became less popular as the War dragged on, eventually stopping altogether). The drink is almost impossible to find outside of ancient MoM Hub caches, which even Stable 20 is not, but contest winners could always buy more from specially-marked Sparkle-Cola machines (which would mix and bottle them on the spot). A side effect, deliberately included for safety reasons, is that a pony's natural resiliency is dramatically increased to prevent small fillies and colts from overstretching their tummies while burping up bubbles.

*** The victims, including Cherry, can only stare directly at their sadistically gleeful pumpers, who at the sound of a bell start frantically working their handles while another pony gives carnival-barker color-commentary on who's bloating faster. Air rushes into Cherry, puffing his cheeks and pushing into his belly, where he can feel it mingle with the already-building gas and wonders if Pink-E's gambit had anything behind it... or if she's just fried a humor circuit and killing him like this would now be funny to her. The crowd's cheering and shouting shifts towards chanting "Pop! Pop! POP!". Straining to look to either side, Cherry can see his neighbors begin to strain with the effort of holding all the air in, bodies growing round and limbs slowly disappearing into the swelling spheres. Tag, to his left, starts to go transparent with a pinkish tinge, and then Cherry can feel the bodies of both Tag and his other neighbor pressing against his sides.

*** Cherry is just seconds from his augmented limit when finally one of the imprisoned Friends explodes, spraying his neighbors and the long booth with gore, some of which ends up in the front bleachers. The crowd screams approval as her still-hooded head topples from the stocks, attached to some overstretched skin. It is then held aloft by her victorious pumper. Each surviving victim's pump is then released, letting them blow out through the masks before being released from their stocks, but this doesn't work for Cherry and Tag-End (the trapped bubble can't go down the valve). Their masks require some effort to pull off, coming loose at the same time. Both he and Tag-End let go with incredible belches, blowing giant bubbles in the process... which first bump into each other, then merge, then finally pop, gumming up everyone in Carnival Row. After the initial surprise, the Friends all cheer wildly: that was new and amazing to them! Cherry then gets a notice on his PipBuck:

[ACHIEVEMENTS: The Big Bang Double Bubble! Congratulations! You (and a friend) just broke the world record for Biggest Bubble Gum Bubble ever! That deserves a reward! Come on out to the new regional headquarters for Sparkle-Cola's Fun Division for a tour, plus your grand prize for winning ***CURRENT YEAR***'s Great Equestrian Blow-Off!]

*** There is now a marker pointing to "Big M/T" (Equestria's largest facility for researching the fusion of Magic and Technology). Because residual gum is still in their systems, the Endurance stats for Cherry and Tag-End also go up by 1. This prompts Cherry to actually look at his Quest entries to find out what the hell that all means.

*** Cherry discovers the Friends' leader, "Motor-Mouth", is in fact his older sister (Surprise!), sold off by his parents to the Friends for a bag of Scorpio. She rose to lead the group by being the craziest, scariest and happiest of them all. She breaks out crying over losing the satchel of greenbacks to Pink-E (who dutifully gives it to Cherry) because of her "little brother". This shocks Cherry, who turns on Pink-E demanding to know if it's true. She confirms it, but says she always knew Surprise was so evil there was no saving her, so she had to die anyway. Cherry flips out, having been set against the only living member of his own family, and nearly kills Pink-E. It's at this moment that she reveals she's been imbued with a shard of Pinkie Pie's soul all along, she's very sorry and weepy and so on but can't be destroyed unless her soul is. Which is why the Pink Cloud had such an effect on her. Cherry threatened to drag her back to the Casino Royale and "finish the job" when he notices everyone else has gone very quiet and looks around.

*** God, who has been looking for a new feeding ground since the Royale's destruction, has appeared. Having heard the bit about Pink-E having a soul, he declares his intent to defend her "so that my Redeemer need not, himself, require redemption". Cherry mutters "what a deus ex machina". Surprise, seeing an opening, demands God join the Friends. God looks to Cherry and Pink-E, saying he must do as he has already promised, so if they don't stay then neither does he. Surprise demands he be thrown into the now-empty cells for thirty days, God refuses again. Surprise blames Cherry's clear influence over God and then, to "resolve things in a FRIENDLY way", Dares Cherry to a Battle of the Bands for God's freedom. Naturally, if he refuses the Dare, or backtalks the Party Host (Surprise), he gets thrown into the cells himself, thus keeping God in chains as well. He suspects Surprise will refill the rest of the cells as quickly as possible... and that he won't be allowed to survive Carnival Row a second time.

It's either fight the entire Stable or acquiesce, and Cherry is almost ready to choose the former option when his PARENTS chime in. Seems they joined the Friends all those years ago, not long after selling both Cherry and Surprise off. After all, as members of the Stable, all their drugs were now free of charge. Neither seem to particularly care if their children kill each other, but are unanimous in saying how cool a Battle of the Bands would be. Surprise actually introduces them to Cherry and explains who they are with a savage smirk.

*** Candle Jack (cutie mark is a candle, he's a natural with lighting and handles most of the Stable's electrical needs). His pre-War ancestor was Jeff LeTrotski, Stable 20's Overstallion. Says "man" a lot, loves and cares for Diane, has no pretensions to power or authority despite (more likely because of) his heritage.

*** Diane Pie (having taken her great-great-aunt's middle name for her first). She's basically Mama Murphy from Fallout 4, needs drugs to see The Tree. Copes with her nightmare visions through "partying hard", which somehow never manages to kill her (END 10 + chem-related Perks). Everypony in Stable 20 looks up to her as role model and unofficial "Vice-Overmare". Motto: "only the weird deserve to survive". She was Surprise's main influence growing up.

*** At the end of Cherry's conversation with his parents, Candle Jack says "Man, I'm just tired, y'know?" The words "man and tire" trigger Pink-E's "Horse Files" and she starts playing an audio recording by Berry Punch:

"Dear Diary, I can not BELIEVE my luck today! Okay, so recapping for whoever ISN'T supposed to be listening to this?" *giggle noises* "Right, so of course this is about my not-so-famous 'wine cellar' (seriously, people, am I the only pony in town who takes civil defense seriously), which did USED to be a wine cellar back when I got Big McIntosh (mmm, what a hunk!) to move my house? Only instead of moving it back, I got him to push it over that big hole the, um, I think they called themselves Crusaders or something? dug trying to trap their teacher or something. I swear, everyone thinks I'm a lush, but that'd make me the LEAST crazy pony in this town... oh, where was I... oh right, right, so I was expanding my CIVIL DEFENSE BUNKER to make room for more food storage and I hit this hard round black stuff.

"It wasn't coal or anything like that, just waaaay too crumbly, but you gotta be careful about stuff, I mean it could've been ancient dragon-doody for all I know! So I'm digging around it, but the soil started falling away and the next thing I know there's a giant black DONUT sliding into the main room... I was SO freaked out, I just galloped right on outta there and down to the nearest place I could think of where a Royal Guard might be (because who knows maybe it's a monster egg or something) and that happened to be the tavern and then everypony laughed and said I - " *mocking tone* "should've brought my private stock so everypony could have a taste!". So anyway I go back and nothing bad's happened so I just put an old bedsheet over the thing and got back to work, and now?

*excited squeaking*

"Just now, nopony less than EDWIN ROBERT HORSE comes to MY place with a work crew and a briefcase full of bits! A thousand bits! I'M RICH! I mean, whatever it was, it wasn't a dragon-doody, 'cause they were talking about writing or something on the side, and I guess it was the biggest find since last Summer Solstice 'cause I overheard Mister Horse saying "it's a good year" over and over. But WOW, less than two days between finding that thing and having the cash to take a REAL vacation! Somewhere nice, like Rainbow Falls, or maybe someplace EXOTIC like Neighpon...eeeeeee, I hear they have the most fantastic gardens! Ta-ta for now, Diary! I'm off to do some vacation planning!"

Cherry: "What the fuck was that all about? Why is that even in your memory blocks?!" or words to that effect.
Pink-E: "Huh? Was I saying somethi - oh, poodle pumpkins, it was one of those secured Horse files!"
Cherry: "...could've sworn you just said 'horse flies.' Must be more tired than I thought."
Pink-E (half-panicked): "Don't say 'tired'!"

*** BATTLE OF THE BANDS:
Surprise and her band kick off with Andrew W.K.'s "Better Get Ready to Die", meant to unnerve Cherry's crew and pulled by her own latent "Pinkie Sense" from another world.

PERK ACTIVE: Aligned Companion Perk (Radio a-Go-Go) -- if Pink-E is a companion and you have Pinkie Sense, her symbiotic affinity with you increases. She is now able to pick up and broadcast strangely-appropriate radio signals from beyond the mythical "Fourth Wall", strictly for entertainment purposes.

Tag surprises everyone by helping Cherry focus his own Sense, following Surprise's ethereal vibrations backwards to find a song to defeat hers: "Gonna Make This Place Your Home". The Friends' rank-and-file are so moved by the idea of having a real home someday that they join in too, stomping and singing in time to the music, despite the impossibility of ever having heard the lyrics. Surprise flips out, demanding the Friends kill Cherry and his crew anyways, but her own lieutenants start arguing with her. While this is going on, Tag breaks in with his own song --- "Bad Romance", pitched to Surprise, who is genuinely surprised that anypony would even dare to serenade her, let alone so passionately. After which, the Friends elect him the new Party Host by acclamation, on the spot.

[ALTERNATE: Hard Way, having not much else to do but be a background pony in all this, channels his inner Swede for some heavy metal, Sabaton style. Either that, or he just escapes during the initial capture and ends up waiting outside for a chance to get in and rescue everypony. Prolly the latter. Way too many songs in this chapter already. But he'd be a great Joakim Broden. Which would also probably annoy Joakim Broden if he ever found out, per https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UypIGHi7K4A ]

...I got signal.

It began with a crackling of static, crawling up my spine and down my legs, arcs of electricity sparking through my mane and down across my hide. It was hard to breathe, impossible to move; my body paralytic with raw power. From where?! I imagined I could hear beeping, like the countdown of a deadly timer sounding in time to my heartbeat.

My thundering heartbeat, my ears filling with a rush of sound, my sight blurring with flashes of actinic brilliance, each new vision stolen by the next so quickly I could barely conceive of what I was seeing. My mouth and tongue wrapped around noises my brain never requested, pushing sonic emissions into the air around me with a verve I could never have matched on my own.

It wasn't singing. It was more like a god had seized my body and soul for use as a set of jukebox speakers.

Words, sounds, music, streaming through the infinitesimally-thin barrier which separated infinite universes from collapsing upon one another, like the stage magician's trick of drawing a needle through a soap bubble. I felt that if I could shift the angle of the stream, somehow, even slightly, it would rip everything asunder, driving all back into the core of chaos from which it all began. If I could only move...

So this must be what Discord the Demon felt like.

All eyes were on me. I couldn't turn my head in any direction, but I didn't need to. I could see them all, worried and tense. An earth pony was electrocuting before their eyes, but instead of dying, I spoke to them, the music building up inside to pour out upon the gathered mass of half-feral equinity.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HoRkntoHkIE

*** Post-Stable 20: Cropper's Press Conference. Cropper starts by welcoming the press, then moves to dominate the proceedings, stating that she prevailed upon Cherry to intervene at Slimm. Having seen his fearless heroism in action, she then insisted he approach the Vikeans with demands for tribute on behalf of the NCR, so as to "tame the wild Eastern hordes". At this point, Cherry jumps in, saying she actually brought him in for questioning about a robbery involving NCR citizens at the Silver Slipper, then offered him a clean slate in exchange for his work as an emissary. It then turned out the demands for tribute were unnecessary, as the Vikeans had already been wanting to turn their pursuits to more peaceful trade. Cropper is shocked, having given Cherry a directive under hypnosis to say nothing except in support of her statements, but she is able to cover it with a forced smile for the press.

This satisfies Cherry's "economic partner" quest, prompting a "ding!" from his PipBuck(?).

Somepony in the press asks Cropper if the Silver Slipper story is true, and she's forced to back up Cherry's bald-faced lie since he didn't actually contradict her. Taking advantage of the initiative, Cherry invites Hard Way forward with the satchel, presenting it not as tribute but as "reparations", personally sealing the deal "as the Ambassador's duly-appointed Representative to the Vikean nation" with a smile and hearty hoof-shake.

The press conference ends with a lot of photos being snapped, Cropper belatedly making the most of it by getting behind and embracing the two with an overly-wide grin. Afterward, she mutters something to Cherry about "double-crossers". He growls back "you were going to have Black Clops kill me anyways... but now, I'm very publically YOUR 'civilian asset', and one with a clean-scrubbed record besides. If I end up dead now, you'd better hope nopony in government ties it to Black Clops. Because that would mean one of two things: you're either an unhinged backstabber, or you can't protect your own people. Neither rep is good for a zebra with ambitions."

Post-Conference: Cherry wants to be out of New Pegas proper until Cropper has a chance to cool off a bit. He and Pink-E head out to do something she's wanted to for about fifteen Chapters: catch a movie at the Nipton Drive-In...