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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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I think I might be the first comment on here. since its 3 a.m. and i'm reading pony stories. Take as much time as you need. I been reading since... I dunno, chapter 20 something of Project Horizons, always loved the work. Still do. Don't overwork yourself. Fans understand.
Hope you feel better. Always love the references.
Hope matters improve for you. Still enjoying the story, even without having to go back and reread. It's just like picking up where I left off. You do good writing. Well worth the wait.
Thank you.
So excited to continue reading this story tomorrow keep up the great work
Always good and it's not a problem write when you can and we will be happy.
Sorry to hear it but I agree with the others, you do good writing, worth the wait.
Keep up the great work!
And a game based on the story of Horizons, that sounds interesting.
If you need someone to chat with, you know where to find me
Good to see you back!... Soo that's what happened with the "Rampage"
Cool chapter indeed
Umm... weeee?
Whoa what, a game based on Horizons? Hell yeah!!
Love the new chapter! Thank you very much!
Wow this was an interesting chapter!!!
You know. The irony of the timing of this chapter is not list on me. I just got to the 22nd chapters of the other three stories I'm reading through. So great timing.
That said. A lot of unexpected twists with this one, especially with the temptation presented.
I hope I'm not the only one that got Captian Shakespear vibes from Tempest.
I love the latest chapter. This story is always worth the wait. Somber i love your writing and hope to read more in the future.
Another great chapter!
"Though a rocketwas infinitely easier to dodge than a hail of bullets, There was"
"Though a rocket was infinitely easier to dodge than a hail of bullets, there was"?
"tower with red and orange"
"tower with a red and orange"?
"the water jacket surrounding the boiler, and"
"the water jacket surrounding the firebox, and"?
"putting the tractor between"
Why is that italicized?
Oh, and what happened to the second flying machine that was flanking them?
"One pay check! Not a bad one either."
"One paycheck! Not a bad one either."?
"a strange pall of dust that rose and"
"a strange pall of dust rose and"?
"and rig this burnished beauty"
"and rigging this burnished beauty"?
"of yellowed [color] eyes underneath"
Was that supposed to be replaced by something?
"up in tight embrace, her wings wrapping"
"up in a tight embrace, wings wrapping"?
"the electrodes on queue."
"the electrodes on cue."?
"to the Whiskey Express? Was"
"to the Whiskey Express. Was"?
"Call the Rampage and"
...Oh. My. Is that...? :D
(written after reaching the end of the chapter: Hm. Well, no mention of a pirate raptor arriving from the Hoof... but still not necessarily it explicitly not being her ship, either.)
"Oooh, this is a IZA-9!"
"Oooh, this is an IZA-9!"?
"remaining hope in that coolness"
"remaining hope that coolness"?
"prompting Tempest to her brow."
"prompting Tempest to raise her brow."?
"asked Charity for more socio-economic questions"
"asked Charity more socio-economic questions"?
"To care was to matter."
Just checking, as I could see it meant to be either way, with significantly different meanings: Was that supposed to be "To be cared about"?
"Insufferable as she might be in times, her"
"Insufferable as she might be at times, her"?
"She pressed the edge to the mangled wheel."
The edge of what? Or was that supposed to be "edge of the mangled"?
"The equine ichor coated"
What makes this ichor particularly equine? Am I forgetting something?
...
And then the chapter ends there.
Of course the chapter ends there. :D
Well, another good one, I found it! :D
Ah, I'm sorry your head's been having a bad time this year so far; I hope things improve.
Thank you for writing!
And aye, thanks Icy Shake and Bronode!
And good luck again with that game. :)
Is this re-upload of last chapter?
Glad to see you still truckin'
The king (queen? I'm not actually sure) has returned and he's given us a gift. Take your time, I can read other stories while I wait for this one to be finished.
A great chapter and worth the wait. I am still trying to determine my favorite part of it. The concept of this Mega spell knocked my socks off. Also loved Charity getting her moments to shine especially with her discussion with the general. Also the idea for a PH based game is a great one. Please remember self care. That is more important then us getting a chapter in a shorter time. We know it will come.
Waited a long time to be able to binge 3 chapters at once. Totally worth the wait.
Almost as satisfying as triple-chocolate, fudge cake... almost.
i.redd.it/6uje3trdlx6y.jpg
Feels good to be back with Scotch and the gang!
Sweet Celestia, she’s really turning into Blackjack. Carful Scotch, this is dangerous. Its starts with you enjoying the thrill of combat and then before you know you wake up in a clone body, having to fight an evil Cyborg version of yourself.
What Charity didn’t know is that the courthouses are run by the Paper Legion. The other Legions may kill you, eat you, rape you or do some very unethical things to your corpses but even the worst of them dread the Paper Legion and their bureaucracy. You’ll be driven insane trying to figure their formulas.
Congratulations Aurum, you just earned the title “dumbest character in this story”. So you have captured the Green Menace. The pony you have to kill/captured to earn your paycheck. And instead of doing anything sensible, like shooting her, you gloat. Even the lowlife Centaur bounty hunter whose name I can’t remember had the common sense to try to shoot her when he had the opportunity. You are a professional mercenary and do the most stupid thing a bad guy can do by not shooting the hero. You don’t even have a good excuse for it. You’re just a moron who wants to brag about how S-M-R-T you are.
But seriously, this is the character I want to see suffer the most. Not Riptide, not the shaman, not the Blood Legion leader. No, it’s this guy. Because in just one scene he became the most unlikely character ever do to his unique combination of stupidity and smugness.
Ok, deep breath. I’m better now. Sorry if I got carried away.
I guess some of them didn’t like the idea of the Legate being the bad guy and a pony being the hero.
More feels… Poor Whiskey Express.
Usually I like the humor in this story. It’s a nice contrast to darker moments and lightens the mood. Scotch meeting the Hiro Embodier was great. But this feels a bit too cartoony for a supposedly tense situation. Yes Aurum is a moron, but he’s still moron intending to murder one-third of the group right on the spot after he’s done with his gloating.
Well this is an awkward situation. Shame on you Scotch! These minus points are well-deserved.
The new slightly-crazy Scotch Tape is really growing on me. You can tell that she’s so done with people trying to kill/capture her. I love it.
A whole Legion with the ego of Rainbow Dash. Not sure if I should be amazed or worried.
When I first read this part I half-jokingly thought this would turn into a rock concert.
And then I actually happened.
Somber, you’re amazing.
Didn’t expect anything related to the Enclave showing up in this story. Due to the location Homelands sometimes feels very separated from FO:E. Which isn’t a bad thing per se, but it’s nice to once in a while be remembered that this still takes place in the same setting.
Interesting. So every member of the party could potential freeing Skylord from the chains. We know that Pythia isn’t into males, so I’m assuming the “love” requirement could also be the love of a strong friendship. Scotch not having a key seems odd, but maybe because she made the deal she can’t release Skylord.
At first I was slightly disappointed that this Tempest wasn’t Tempest Shadow. But this is pretty awesome world building. It’s always nice to learn what happened to canon characters in the FO:E-verse and this seems like a logical path for Tempest. Also explains how the Storm Legion got her name and has so many non-zebras in her ranks.
Huh, even the Book of Unspeakable Horrors has a tragic backstory. Should’ve seen this coming.
Part of me really wants this ship to happen. Another part is very afraid because I remember what happened to Blackjack’s love interest(s). Anyways, how do we call this ship?
The brand may change you but I doubt that’s the only reason why the Legions are what they are. I doubt removing that brand would make them all nice and amicable people overnight.
I love this scene so much. Having Precious giving her coins names and backstories was one of the best ideas ever.
Suddenly this is getting very meta.
And that’s the downside of her new “Being done with your shit!” attitude. Sometimes it backfires really badly. I guess the next chapter will either start with a bar brawl or Scotch crawling back to her bed after she received a serious beating.
----------------------------------------------------------
This chapter was really worth the wait. I like the Storm Legion. They have a really interesting backstory that’s tied to a canon character. Probably my favourite Legion right now.
I also like the arguments about whether or not they should go back to Equestria. Both sides had good points and Scotch deciding to stay felt like a logical choice. I do, however, feel bad for Charity. Because something bad is going to happen that will prevent her from going home. Either that, or she grows found of the others and decided to stay voluntarily.
The only thing I do dislike is the Gold Legion. In the last chapter they were described as a really menacing force with powerful weapons nobody wants to cross. And then all that went out of the window when we met General Moron. Sure he was presented as a dam good sharpshooter, but I can’t take a guy seriously who literally does the dumbest villain clique every and allows the heroes to get away by wasting time with gloating and talking about his evil plans. That makes it really hard to take the Golds serious as a thread.
Still that’s really the only huge complaint. Otherwise it was a great chapter and it felt good to be back with Scotch and the Gang.
Time for good old fashioned mosh pit
Was a great chapter nice to see tempest get around
10124334
Thanks for the play by play. I really treasure those reviews. Aurum is an ass. He knows he's an ass because he is deliberately an ass. But he can afford to be an ass because he pays to cover all the bases. Best armor. Best gear. Best transportation. And worse of all, he's smart and patent and relentless. Like, he wasn't pissed off that she got away. That happens. Statisitics and all that. Only Irons insist on perfection. Now, when Scotch starts blowing up his shit, starts costing him money, starts taking away his things, then you're going to see why Aurum is dangerous. But yeah. 99% only ever see Aurum the asshole because, honestly, when you're rich and powerful, who gives a shit if you're liked?
You have all the excuses somber. All of them. Most of these barbarians dont even pay for your book we deeply love your writing and I'm so glad your ok enough to write. If somber doesn't see this does anyone know if somber post regularly anywhere like a twitter?
10124334
As I understood those books are imbued by souls. If their origin related to 13 tribes, then it might be reference to that treason.
To Somber: Cheers, this looks like a good chapter!
I definitely like the image evoked by Scotch's retort
This actually makes me think of Mission to Mars, a movie I very much enjoyed.
I'm not against rock being used as a collective noun, but this may read better as 'a rock' or 'rocks'.
All the friends were already being held by Perihelion/Peridot, so some more nuance might be needed here.
I do have to wonder where Scotch saw primate skulls before, even though the answer is an easy 'she saw it in a book once'.
Are the square brackets here an artefact of the editing?
although it’s contexually obvious who’s talking after the fact, it may still be good to say Skylord is retorting
longcats?
Is Zebrinica optionally treated like the Ukraine and the Sudan? It's a neat thing if it is so.
I tend to greatly appreciate when canon is welded into AUs whenever possible, especially when it's more world-building, as here, than aesthetic.
That is some good shipping mechanics, there.
In Kkat's story Derpy's adopted daughter Silver Belle had her horn shorn off, right? I can't remember if hers grew back.
Sometimes it feels like Scotch is oblivious to the possibility that Pythia is censured, like she is; but then other times it seems like Scotch does realise it.
Here too, although again at the end it’s obvious who’s talking, it might be clearer to have it start with Scotch.
total emersion break
At virtually every point in all these chapters I have been leaning forward while reading, wanting to know what would happen next and what the friends would discover about their quest and each other and what they would do with these discoveries. I also really don’t know what it is about the Earthpony shaman stuff that I enjoy so much. I really hope she finds Rocky and that the Whiskey Express is salvageable and Scotch never has to lose his trust!
Thanks for writing, Somber. Like everyone else is saying, the wait is totally worth getting to see these friends again (although like Pythia says, it's going to be real painful no matter who of them may die).
10124665
You’re welcome. Sometimes I feel I’m going overboard with these lengthy comments. It’s good to hear that they are appreciated. So thank you for that.
About Aurum, it’s just that I think the gloating villains are such old cliché, that it's hard for me to take them serious. It's one step above tying someone to a train track. However, I'm certain this wasn’t the last time we saw him and maybe next time he decides to do less chatting and more shooting.
10126210
Oh, sure, but he REALLY wants seven pay days.
I know how it feels to write slower that you want to. I still haven’t finished quite a few of my own stories, mainly because I keep getting new ideas for one-shots . Still, I love your stories and will keep reading as long as you keep writing. Don’t give up
Great new chapter! Can't wait for the next one.
Yoooo let me in on this, I’m definitely interested in trying it out and taking a gander
Not sure what kind of game you're working on making, but if you need anyone for audio asset creation, I'm currently part of the audio team over at The Overmare working on Ashes of Equestria, and would love to help out any way I can.
Bro, 2020 has been shit for everyone lol you're fine! Don't feel pressured to pump out chapters!
Great chapter, hopefully Whiskey and Rocky will turn out to be okay!
I always love how eventful these chapters are. Doesn't matter how long it takes between chapters, each one is always fantastic. Thanks for writing this. Always interesting seeing what new trouble Scotch "Trouble Magnet" Tape has attracted.
Its back! First part?
I know she was under dire circumstances. But even when she's not, Scotch always ignores the ONE rule of shamaning she's learned, and that "you cannot benefit or ask the spirits anything for yourself". It still fits into that self destructive, self sacrificing mindset she learned from blackjack. Gods forbid if all her friends have to do some slightly inconvenient thing (like skylords chains) in order for her to avoid getting further censured.
It irks me cause its litterally the only the she's been told, and she gripes that no one will teach her.
Dual-wielded guitars and numb, traumatized rocks. This was a fun chapter.
Really good chapter, lots of original thinking. Could've done with being a smidge sooner, but this works too. Almost thought you gave up on it after a while. Glad to see you're sticking with it though.
10139194
Aren’t the chains prevent him from flying? For a Griffon that’s probably more than a slightly inconvenient thing.
I love this so much! Reading these two chapters have certainly made my day! THANK YOU AND YOUR TEAM FOR GIVING US SOMETHING SO WONDERFUL TO READ!
Omfg.... I'm stupid. But in my defense I'm not an active analyzer. I usually find stuff out afterwards. But I just realized while washing dishes that Scotch's nick name "the green menace" is a play on the communist "red menace".
10147028
He's still alive and not suffering some debilitating condition. And once he proclaims his true love he'll be fine and fully mobile. Scotch tho... nope. Wonder what censure she faces from Rocky now.
8528026
It helps keep the story interesting imo. And more "real". In a lawless world with a lack of food and certain death everywhere, what did you think would happen? In Fallout New Vegas you can kill a guy named Cooky (I think was his name) after finding out from a holotape that he was kidnapping, raping, and sold a little girl to the Fiends. Who are also rapists and child molesters.
Plus with the protagonist being female it makes stallions and the possibility of rape even more of a threat to our heroine.
Male soldiers have been shown getting raped in this story. The Romani tribe is apparently open to sodomy regardless of gender.
The carnillians make it a non-issue in this story. But in our world in Africa, rape is usually the cause of unwanted pregnancies (shit was bad there at one time, and still is) . I could imagine that rape actually helped propogate the pony species. There are very few instances of families depicted in the stories or in the games. Which makes the "tribalist" community mentality makes all the more sense. Which helps women give birth and raise babies in a safer environment. But again, if raiders/marauders come to take over a settlement, what do you think would happen to the mares and fillys/colts? Same thing in all of human history, rape and pillage.
Sorry for wall of text. This quarantine is getting to me.
10269488
Imagine losing an arm or ending up in a wheelchair. You’re still alive and there are certainly worse things than can happen to you, but it still sucks. Suddenly not being able to use curtains of your body and being restricted in your movement isn't something you can just shrug off.
Also, he already tried to proclaim his true love to the Sphinx. Didn’t work. So what should he do? Hope that he suddenly falls in love? Force himself into loving someone? Doubt that's going to work. It’s not like he can waltz into the next town and hope that he magically stumbles upon his true love. It may take months or even years. Or it may not happen at all. Until then he’s still crippled.
10269634
But he didn't physically lose his wings. He's just restrained. When he proclaims his true love and his love admits to him as well, things will be fine. You're calling a missing limb to be the same as being shackled? He can't use his wings now. But once the chains are off, he'll be fine. But someone actually missing a limb is never going to regain the use of it, unless they get a prosthetic. Which again, is not the same as having the limb you were born with. The worst we can expect is some atrophy from him not using his wing muscles. It's been a few months (I think) since he last used them.
Based on the latest chapter, it's not going to take years. And obviously the Sphinx wasn't going to work. It was only meant to show the reader what would happen if he tried to cheat his way out. Don't argue if you can't work something as simple as that out for yourself.
10269800
Ok what if you had to sit in a wheelchair for several months? Or can’t use one of your arms? Is that only a minor inconvenience? Especially if you never knew when and if you can use your limb(s) again?
What if Skylord is gay? Or asexual? Or only attracted to griffons? All that would reduces his chance to break the curse anytime in the foreseeable future. The group is constantly on the move so it’s hard for him to meet other people and fall in love. And it has to genuine. He can’t force himself to fall in love with someone.
10269917
You keep comparing a human to a griffin. And I know you think it supports your argument, it doesn't. Griffins without wings, become earth ponies with claw-hands. Griffs can hold and use weapons more effectively. They aren't limited to using just their mouths.
You can love someone without being sexually attracted to them. Love comes in many forms. That's something Blackjack never understood about Glory. Glory associated sex with love, whereas BJ saw them as two separate things. BJ loved Glory, but wasn't IN-love with her.
The mane 6 profess their love for each other. And unless there's some blaring inuendo or evidence, they aren't fucking.
Even if Skylord is asexual, he still has a love for his legion and the commander (forgot her name) who gave his life purpose. A family he never had.
Skylord can love his friends and comrades, and they can love him back. that doesn't mean they have to fuck.
Right now they're "sharing the foxhole" or "friendship forged in fire" tropes. They'll end up with a stronger bond because of the hardships they faced and overcame together. All anyone has to do is let him know how much he means to them and the group. And how much they mean to him.
MOOOOOOOOOOOSH PIIIIIIIIIIIT!
just curious, could a Starkettari contact the Sun? i mean, it's a star. and it seems to have a generally benevolent attitude towards the planet compared to the other, apparently asshole ones. at least not malicious if it let celestia move it around