.

Somewhen:

"Sister, where are you?" Cautiously, Princess Luna stepped into the personal retreat of Celestia. She'd rarely ventured here for a very lengthy period of time. Public engagements, directing a war effort and simply keeping up appearances were all taking their toll on her. On this day, she'd come to ask the only one she could this question. A heavy question. A hurtful question. A question that held all the pain swirling in her heart. In the dimness she found her sister, sitting in a corner staring into a book. A scrapbook by the look of it. Luna never saw it before.

"Sister, what are you doing in the dark like this? It isn't..you." She said, trying to approach softly before the inevitably difficult moment ahead. When she would finally ask what she dare not before. Celestia looked up, and back to the book.

Somewhere amongst the clutter, a music box was softly ringing out a melody most haunting to stir memories of warm and lazy summer days when cares mattered not. Almost eliciting a whole world of envisionment all belonging to itself. Some magic in it perhaps made spring to mind all manner of pleasant things. The scent of a lovely spring day. A gentle stream winding its way lazily on by as one lazed along beside it while a warm breeze passed by, blowing the alluring flowery air past to enjoy. All manner of fresh baked pies cooling on the windowsill awaiting to delight the senses in other ways upon being partaken of. It was a most pleasant sensation, but in this dimly lit room it lent itself more to melancholy and outright unhappiness.

It was indeed dim in here, why would she have it like this? Especially her. This did not feel right at all, not her sister. Not sitting alone in darkness. Celestia took a sip from a teacup and looked deeply into the book for some time.

"It is, memories. Lives. My students, my friends and companions of old. I have lived so long and had many come only to go again. I cherish each and every name I have been blessed to know in passing, because most I will never hear again." Celestia did not even really look at Luna. Whatever was she doing? Flipping page after page, each filled with scrawled names and carefully treated photos. Page upon page. There were so many.

"It hurts. I cannot even remember all their names without this book." She sighed forlornly.

Luna went to ask but her sister continued on.

"What they looked like, what each ones voice sounded. What hopes they carried, the dreams they all had." Upon closer inspection it could be seen Celestia must have been crying for quite some time before her arrival. This did not sit right.

"Shouldn't those be happy memories for you then, my sister?" Luna could not quite muster the courage to ask just yet, and definitely not while seeing her like that. This was not what she was expecting to see upon entering. Almost not even who. It barely felt like the one she knew as, sister. Sitting there in the dim light proffered by few candles.

"They are happy. It is we who are not. They are gone so this cannot hurt them." Celestia said, oddly coldly.

"This?" Luna could not understand what her beloved sister meant by it. She may mean the war, but something about that did not tell the whole story. Whatever Celestia was on about could not be that simple, not to act this way. Right now, at this moment, she could see only a broken pony who appeared half what she used to be.

"Please, sister.. I need...your help. You are so much stronger than I. I must ask you a question." Luna managed to finally say. For now, she truly meant that, but the reaction to saying so was not anticipated in any way. Celestia snapped her head up and glared. For the first time ever Luna was taken aback by the fiery look and took a half-step back in genuine fear of her own sister. She'd never meant her actual harm before, and likely would not hurt her now, but why that look?

She decided it must simply be asked as no good time would come. Luna screwed up her courage.

"Dearest sister, why? Why with all our power can't we just put an end to the war? Can we not just sweep them all away? Why do we hold back while they all die?" Luna was trembling. Indeed, why? The look in her sisters eyes mellowed somewhat.

"We are sending our people into the fire to burn in our place and can never stop. If we did what you suggest then we become monsters who destroy all the innocent along with the guilty. We must never countenance that, whatever the cost." Celestia quivered where she sat.

"Then, why do I not just give myself to them? Surrender, they can have me if it will stop this. I will sacrifice myself to stop the war." Much to her displeasure and surprise Celestia gave rise to an unusually wicked sounding laugh coming from her. It was frightening and wrong to hear her sister give voice to such a laugh. There was almost something manic about it.

"All that would do is tell them we are weak and embolden our enemies to steamroll right over us." Celestia stated as a matter of fact.

"You cannot know that, If I just.." Luna was interrupted seeing the expression on her face.

"You..you do know, don't you?" It was plain, somehow Celestia knew, but not in a way of simple understanding.

"But, how? What have you done? I know we cannot see the real future." It was only now after finally looking more generally about the room, stack after stack of books lay about, read through over and over. Each covered in runes and sigils, many long forgotten to most memory. Also just now, Luna finally noticed just how low the ebb of her sisters magic felt at this proximity. It must have been tremendous what she'd spent so much energy upon.

"I have looked to the whole of our past, to save our future and I have found it cannot be saved." Celestia swallowed and stared down at her scrapbook.

"You mean.." Luna was scared at this revelation. Truly scared. Fearful, trembling.

"Yes, I know. In my vanity I tried to change history. I tried..everything. I even approached the unthinkable.." Celestia would not look at her again. Luna already guessed why. Who was this pony before her? Not her sister, surely.

"You didn't..You didnt..how could you!?" She should be angry, but all she could do was cry.

"Yes, Luna. I even tried sacrificing you. I will not ask for your forgiveness. Give it or keep it if you wish. Either way, I have failed you and those who are most important of all." For the first time in both of their terribly long lives, Luna heard Celestia sobbing and saw her sister lay their head upon the record of distant friends names. The pain of these three things nearly broke her already cracking heart in two. Slowly the princess of the night slipped out of the room, shaken heavily by a truth she never wanted to hear.

---

And how far would you go? Judge ye not. A hefty and fickle thing, bearing power. You can have all of it and still not nearly enough.