• Published 2nd Dec 2016
  • 1,272 Views, 124 Comments

Unhinged - SirNotAppearingInThisFic



A collection of short stories inspired by Magic cards generated by RoboFoME. No understanding of Magic is required to read these.

  • ...
3
 124
 1,272

Resident Elder's Map [Adventure]

The ground erupted before Twilight. Not in a remotely figurative sense; a massive explosion sent stone and molten rock dozens – if not hundreds – of meters into the air. The most massive tatzlwurm Twilight had ever seen protruded from ground’s new maw.

“Whoa.”

Twilight glanced to her side, where Dragonlord Ember stood. Ember, for her part, seemed a little less surprised; she had seen it before. That didn’t stop her or any of the other dragons present from gaping, grimacing, or shifting uncomfortably.

Twilight leaned closer to Ember. “Heh. Are you sure it’s just a… ‘big’ tunneling tatzlwurm?”

“I figured you would understand. ‘Big’ for a dragon means ‘big for a dragon’. No offence, but I wouldn’t have asked you for help if we could handle it.”

Ahead of her, the titanic tatzlwurm unfurled a set of massive, leathery wings.

Twilight’s felt her stomach sink. “Oh, greeeaaat. Does it breathe fire, too?”

“Well—”

“Nevermind. Here it comes! Don’t—”

ATTACK!

The rest of Twilight’s sentence was lost to the roaring thunder of dozens of dragons taking off, each flap of their wings adding a drumbeat to the cacophony.

Twilight reluctantly took off after them. For all the magic she knew and wielded, there was still a small piece of her in the back of her mind that helpfully reminded her that this is the sort of thing that could kill a pony.

It could kill a Dragon, for that matter. Thank Celestia she left Spike in Equestria. Twilight resolved to make the fight a quick one: There would be no holding back.

A few moments after takeoff, Twilight had gotten close enough to appreciate just how big the tatzlwurm was. In her first encounter with a tunneling tatzlwurm, Twilight had noted that a pony would be merely snack-sized from its perspective. This one dwarfed some of the larger dragons in much the same way. Former Dragonlord Torch would at best be a proper meal.

By then, some of the faster dragons had made it to the tatzlwurm and, light in stature as they were, stood no chance against the currents produced by the tatzlwurm’s wings.

Twilight had hoped to establish some sort of strategy beforehoof, but she supposed that she was lucky enough that so many dragons were cooperating in any sense in the first place.

Some of the heavier dragons started swooping in and harassing the taztlwurm with bouts of fire. The tatzlwurm responded by lurching forward and snapping at the cloud of dragons. The dragons dove out of the way in every direction.

It’s now or never’, Twilight told herself. She started to gather all of the magic she had. It would take a moment, but the next time she had an open shot, she wanted to be ready to unload enough devastating power to flatten her castle at least three times over all at once.

For the next few moments, Twilight remained vaguely aware of the dragons swooping around, and tatzlwurm trying to grab a snack for its trouble, and the occasional dragon bouncing off of it when they tried to bite it. All the while her horn glowed brighter and brighter.

The tatzlwurm whipped its tail in response to some of the dragons’ harassment, and the current nearly toppled Twilight before she regained her balance.

She had charged her attack before long, but moment after moment passed without the formation of another opening.

At some point, Ember finally noticed Twilight’s horn glowing and spurting little drops of magic as she struggled to keep it all under control yet ready to discharge.

MOVE IT OR LOSE IT, GUYS!

It only took a couple of seconds for all of the dragons to swerve out of the way.

Twilight let go.

The world in front of her washed out as her magic arced towards the tatzlwurm.

The world around her flashed a brighter white as it struck. An instant later, the shockwave caught her and shoved her back with a deafening roar.

The world around her faded to black after she noticed a massive plume of fire shooting for her and she tapped the reserves of an already-depleted alicorn to protect herself.


Twilight lifted her head up off the ground and rubbed her sore muzzle. Then she noticed how hot the room felt. She opened her eyes and saw the stony walls and floor a dimly-lit cavern.

“...what— Oh.” Going ‘all in’ with her magic blast at the tatzlwurm seemed like a bad tactical decision in hindsight. She resolved to save a little more back if she ever did that again; it wasn’t worth the headache.

Twilight looked around. The cavern itself seemed empty, but she could see dragons in the conjoined caves. None of them looked happy.

“Oh, good; you’re awake.”

Twilight jumped a little; Ember’s voice had come from behind her.

What in the name of Celestia was that?” Twilight demanded as she turned to face Ember. “And why didn’t you think details like ‘it can fly, or ‘it’s immune to your magic’ were worth mentioning in the first place?”

“I’m sorry, Twilight. I didn’t know your magic wouldn’t stop it. But you did drive it off.”

Twilight huffed. “That doesn’t solve the problem.”

“I know. For what it’s worth, it wasn’t a complete waste. After blasting the tatzlwurm like that, everydragon stopped calling you names.”

“That doesn’t help me stop the tatzlwurm.” Twilight stood up all the way. “I don’t suppose you can explain just what in tartarus makes a tatzlwurm grow so big? Books on them are hard enough to come by, but there is nothing in my library that explains what would make a tatzlwurm grow wings and breath fire.”

“I...”

Twilight put a hoof to her forehead. “Please don’t tell me you did this on purpose.”

“No!” Ember sighed. “There are… crystal formations buried throughout the Dragonlands. The Dragonlord and very few elders know about them; they’re the most important hoard in the Dragonlands. They’re full of draconic magic, Twilight, and the tatzlwurm found one and ate some of the crystals.”

Twilight’s eyes lit up. “Can you... show me one?”

Ember shifted uncomfortably. “I could…. The closest one is a little bit more special. I wouldn’t even consider it if the tatzlwurm didn’t pose a threat to every one of us, but you have to promise that you will not tell anyone else about this.”

“Not even Spike?”

“As his Dragonlord, it is my privilege to tell him or not.”

Twilight sighed. “Okay then. Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye— ow.”

“What?”

“It’s a ‘Pinkie Promise’. She takes them very seriously and I know better than to break one.”

Ember gave her an odd look. “Okay, then. Follow me; it’s going to be a bit of a flight.”


At the entrance of the new cavern, Twilight had to cast an air-filtering spell to keep out the noxious fumes before entering it seemed safe.

Ember pointed at the hole in the side of the cavern. “The formation is down here, but… I don’t exactly know how you’re going to get to it. Spike warned me that ponies aren’t fireproof at all.”

Twilight took a look down the tunnel. Way down, there was a distinct red glow.

She gulped. “Is that the only way to reach it?”

“Yep. Da— Dragonlord Torch says that a clever Dragonlord had a magma flow redirected to cross the tunnel so that only dragons could get past; the tunnel dips down enough that part of it gets completely flooded. Can you teleport past it?”

“Teleporting to somewhere that I haven’t been before is tricky, and in this case, I don’t want to miss and end up embedded in the walls or swimming in magma.”

“A few minutes in a lava pond really relaxes the muscles, though.” Ember winked. “You should try it sometime.”

“Heh. I think I’ll pass.” Twilight put a hoof to her chin. “Actually, that might work.”

“What?”

“When you said we weren’t fireproof, I discounted the idea of casting a shielding spell like the one I used to protect myself from the tatzlwurm’s fire because I wouldn’t be able to make my way through, but if I hold on to you, it might work.”

“Great.” Twilight protested as Ember picked her up. “Cast your spell and let’s go, then.”

“Wait! I need to go outside and gather some air, first. It won’t be any safer for me on the other side of the magma flow.”


After Ember emerged on the other side of the magma flow. Twilight noticed the large, red crystal formation in the rough center of the cavern first. It almost seemed to growl with its magic energy.

“I would keep your shield spell up if I were you.”

Ember set Twilight down. Twilight looked at the floor. It was mostly solid, but thin lines of magma cut through it, meandering without any apparent pattern. They varied in width, and sometimes they formed puddles. Smaller crystal formations protruded from some of these puddles.

“I’ll give you a hint: We’re in the middle.” Ember tapped on the center formation. “Here.”

Twilight looked back at the floor. “It’s… a map?”

“I guess that’s something you and I have in common: a crystal map room. These shards represent the other formations. This room is older than anydragon knows, and supposedly the dragon who first sensed the crystals and carved this room was already ancient when he did.

“I know it’s a lot to ask of you, but feel free not to memorize the layout. The crystal is what’s important anyway.”

“Right. Um… we’ll see.” Twilight tapped the crystal herself. She didn’t know offhoof just how understanding it could help her stop the tatzlwurm. “Just how much am I allowed to experiment on it?”

“It’s dragon magic. As long as none of the crystal leaves this cavern, the crystal will probably recover. It wouldn’t be the first time the crystal got wrecked for one reason or another.”

Twilight focused on the crystal again. The thought made her a little bit uncomfortable, but she did know of an entire class of magic built around crystals.

“It shouldn’t take me long to see if this will work.”


After they had rejoined the hunters, one of the dragons told Ember that they had found the tatzlwurm again.

Between flying between various mountains and her first encounter with the tatzlwurm that morning, Twilight felt worn out. She recognized the danger of a dragon-powered tatzlwurm, though, and her experiments on a few crystal shavings had yielded hopeful results. Fortunately, the spell Twilight planned to use would be much more specific and much more efficient.

They took flight for the mountain where the tatzlwurm had been found.

When Twilight had seen the mountain from a distance, it had looked a little rough, but otherwise normal. A closer look showed that a large portion of the mountain’s side had been blown apart by another one of the tatzlwurm’s entrances or exits.

Some of the dragons worked to tease the tatzlwurm out again. It didn’t take long. There may have already been a hole in the mountain, but the ground erupted again all the same.

Twilight scouted out a relatively safe spot to land, as Sombra’s magic only conducted through solids and she didn’t want to be touching the tatzlwurm if she could avoid it. It almost would have been better if they had left the tatzlwurm in the ground, but Twilight didn’t think she would have succeeded in targeting it.

For their part, the dragons harrassed the tatzlwurm close to the ground, and it showed no signs that it wanted to take flight.

Twilight tuned out the commotion. She started letting the darker recesses of her mind take prominence in her magic. She especially encouraged her greed; both draconic and Sombra’s magic were deeply rooted in it. It was vital that she wanted those stones for herself.

Those crystals represent untold insight into the magic of dragons!

For just one moment, this couldn’t be a favor to the Dragonlord and a pinkie promise didn’t matter. For that moment, the tatzlwurm had something that belonged to Twilight. Something that wanted to be with her. The tatzlwurm was nothing and the crystals were everything.

Twilight locked on to the crystals within the tatzlwurm and started casting.

Twilight told herself that the crystals should be preserved. Respected. The tatzlwurm didn’t deserve their magic. She told the crystals to take it back. She told the crystals to join together and to come to her.

The tatzlwurm shrieked and the spell broke as Twilight jerked her head up. She found the sight somewhat disturbing. The crystals had burst out of the tatzlwurm’s midsection and the tatzlwurm had split in two. Each half of the worm appeared to dissolve without the crystals’ magic maintaining their larger size.

After flailing around for a moment, the tatzlwurm halves retreated to the original hole and disappeared from her sight. Several dragons followed in pursuit.

A couple of minutes later, Ember landed next to Twilight and sighed. “I was hoping that wouldn’t happen.”

“But we got the crystals out!”

“That’s true, but if you cut a normal tatzlwurm in half, it grows into two full ones.”

“Oh.” Twilight grimaced at the thought. “You don’t think it— they... remember where the crystals came from, do you?”

Author's Note:

RoboFoME card:

Resident Elders' Map

XX

Enchantment — Wurm
Whenever a suspend made in your library.)

Countered this turn, all is attention at all that shaves in the battlefield this turn.

U: Tap target creature your hand, they’re face down.

"If ponies' face."
—Twilight’s all the deadly.

Have you ever wondered how I turn a card like the one above into a story like this one? I know I have! I wrote a blog post about it anyway, which you can find here.