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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Oh, I so missed this last month. Great work as always!
Yeah well like Horizons it's going to make me show up late to work.
Awesome chapter!!
"She’d met that star when she’d gone to the moon."
...Huh. How does she know that Tom was the star in the play?
"to put up the bag"
"bags"?
"she suspected ice wasn’t a problem, even in the winter"
"in the summer"?
"but not we’re merely a few dozen"
"now"?
"A evil person may be destroyed"
"An"?
"A brilliant headdress of the burnished metal "
"of burnished"?
"stood in a corona before the assembled passes"
"masses"?
"Jahi sighed, the gestured to Precious"
"then gestured"?
Great work, you never fail to impress! I always wonder how you come with with so much detail. No matter if those stories are real or not, they sound interesting.
Poor Pythia. She warns them but theynever listen.
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I am facing the same issue. Maybe we should send in a bug report.
Is ok I prefer epic stories over short ones.
This chapter didn't load properly at first, so all I got were the italicized portions, and I thought you'd just posted a found poem about the Whiskey Express instead of an actual chapter.
Somehow... I feel like this two are gonna end up being shipped or something, kekeke.
Good work on this chapter Somber. And another Horizons? Nothing wrong with that if you ask me~
Good show! Good show!
vignette2.wikia.nocookie.net/rwby/images/c/c4/Steve-rogers-i-understood-that-reference.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20151106012014
Tell you what if there is ever a fight between Blackjack and some walking mountain while she is drunk and singing I am putting all my bits on Blackjack.
Yes. I caught the reference.
You may have passed the 250k mark, but we love this story all the more for your detail and amazing writing. I can't wait to see how they get away with this.
Minor notice: I always assumed the Zencori were supposed to by gypsy-like.
Question; with the zebras, we've occasionally seen ones with pony-sounding names (I think we had a 'Quakehoof' back in Horizons), and those that are structured more like 'name' names, and that didn't seem to change with protagonists that are speaking zebra; is this supposed to have any in-world meaning or anything along that lines, or is it just a stylistic choice?
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She doesn't. She's making an assumption. That assumption seems to be something along the lines of Tom being the only star spirit to take much interest in dealing with the Eater/involved with the Eater since it crashed on Equestria. Given some of what Tom said, that seems like a pretty reasonable assumption to make--even if it's wrong based on Blackjack's vision in PH ch34.
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Somber or someone may give more detail, but my take's basically been this: a lot of zebras have names that in (whichever) Zebra (dialect) amount to Pony style names (e.g. Niuhi <-> Shark/Tiger Shark). For a while as Scotch was in the process of learning the language, she was more likely to translate to Pony/English equivalent names. Don't know that it's particularly significant, but of course I could be wrong about that.
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Ah, thanks. :)
Wait.... Project Horizons has a sequel?.....
How did I not know this!?
Am i the only one who want another Horizon ?
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I it would be cool, but I think somber is having a hard enough time with homelands
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I know how to fix it!
Just send him money.
Hm, I'm starting to get a feeling that if Caesar had indeed ordered to blind the Eye of the World, then he had commited a greater crime than Starkatteri had all those thousands years ago. I mean, like the librarian here says, the spirit of the world is like mother of everything, right? So the guy besically wanted to betray it, and not only that, it would go against that agreement she mention. I suppose it's not surprising, given how the entire war got started because he basically had an inferiority complex.
Also, wow, almost forgot how after first reading Fallout Equestria I thought of the zebras in this universe as most religiously prejudiced racists people ever, this chapter brought that thought right back up. From the Caesar calling Luna "the Maiden of the Stars" and calling her evil and saying that they won't stop fighting until ponies realize this too, to those two zebras saying that it is believed that Legate had defeated the Eater of Souls and died a her No wonder he had them wrapped them around his hoof for the past 200 years... still can't get over how nobody ever thought what stripes could be under his helmet until Majina's mother saw his wounds heal...
On that note, how did he convince them he was a Legate? I don't think it was ever brought up in Project Horizons... and did it really not strike them as odd that he was around for those 200 years?
Back to zebras in general, I meant my comment as "in general", I figure there were a lot that didn't buy into this religious crusade; probably most of those in charge had merely used that to control the masses. Just... really dislike that in real life. And the fact that they wouldn't believe Blackjack had defeated what they considered the greatest evil ever just because she was a pony really screams racism no matter how you look at it (can't even imagine what they'd thought if Scotch had added that Luna's soul was in Blackjack and together they've defeated the EoS).
Oh, this reminds me; is Sun a star in this universe? Just asking cause they all worship the Sun and are generally afraid of the stars, so if they'd ever figure out that Sun is a star just seen from a very much up close...
Am i the only one who thinks the hero that attacked Scotch is the spirit of Amadii (the legate for any who have forgoten)? Who ever it was they seemed to know Scotch and took great pleaser in trying to eat Scotch's head. Just the type of thing a servant to the eater of souls would do
You've already got a bajillion people saying that this isn't a problem for them, since, you know, people like it when you write things. As a reader, I don't consider it a problem, but as someone who also accidentally overwrote a story, I can identify and empathize. I also have this pet theory that most, if not all, of the flashback sequences in Horizons's epilogue were meant to set up future stories, and if that's true, then... yeah, at the pace you're going, getting to them might take some time.
(I could be completely wrong, of course, and this and Blackjack's Adventures in Cognitive Realignment Therapy are the only Horizons sequels in the offing. You'd know better than me. )
All that said, if it grows naturally from the concept you started out with, then I certainly don't mind another story of similar length and scope.
This was a really nice chapter, by the way. Smaller, more intimate, with the primary focus being on character and lore than on action. I admire your ability to take minor characters and imbue them with distinct personalities and motivations in the brief time that the reader gets to know them; that was one of Horizons' strengths, and it's one of this story's strengths, too. And the editing is a lot tighter than the previous chapters, which is also great. I noticed a missing endquote on my first readthrough, but I can't seem to find it again, so... either it's taken care of, or my memory's failing me. Both seem possible.
...I would still like a Whiskey Express found poem, however.
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You're right, I don't get it. Cause I don't like taking chances, lol. When I make a plan, I always try to find and counter ever single way it could fail. And when I try to do a task, I don't mess around with it. If someone tries to mess with my plans, I just send a weak little henchmen, I sent my second in command, or go personally to fix the issue. It will make it take longer and is annoying, but it means when the plan is done and completed, it WILL succeed 100%.
Always take precautions, never take chances, and always expect the unexpected.
Here's a good example of this, and something you can do. When walking around my home, my eyes are never looking forward, they are always looking downward, watching the ground a few feet in front of me, and where my feet are. I can always see where I am stepping, and still looking forward enough to not collide with anything accidentally. Because of this, I very rarely ever trip over random objects from my younger cousins and nieces that live with me, nor get hurt and hit my toes on chairs or things. Meanwhile, other relatives that live with me don't do that, and are often accidentally kicking chair legs, or stepping on toes, or once in a while tripping over things, lol. I don't take chances with where I step, so I still safe and ahead of them.
Well, the story may be very wordy, but each chapter seems almost episodic so it doesn't matter too much. It also hasn't fallen into the 'off the rails' trap Horizons went into when it got long either. It's an epic journey across a huge landscape and giving chance to build the world up properly. Also going to other characters' perspectives occasionally for exposition is working really well.
One typo I noticed in Chapter 13 is using 'Hanger' where it should be 'Hangar.' I see this a lot in FoE stories oddly.
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If the equally excellent 'Speak' were to be also considered (Somber has input on it), Horizons has 2 sequels.
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*faints*
Incompleted... Well I'm still going to read it cause project horizon was amazing and has nearly completely keept me from gaming for weeks.
This chapter's great. I like how the Zencori are more complicated than just being dramatic storytellers. Seeing all these tribes get more fleshed out is cool. And more interesting spirit things! There existing book spirits makes me wonder if there exist spirits of everything, even mundane tools. If you ask for the help of the paperclip spirits, will your papers never be separated?
There's a missing quote before the word "They".
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I was referencing Austin Powers. They make fun of the "leave the hero to die an overly elaborate death that they can easily escape from" thing in that movie, which is the part of that movie that I was referencing.
Thaaaat sounds an awful lot like spirit intervention.
Is that what griffons are calling it these da-- *shot*
That would be the place Tina Turner runs.
I hate stories with a deus ex machina.
Huhhh... sticking with my theory that Pythia is an amnesiac body-jumping ancestor of herself, I wonder if her mother('s mind) was "The Serpent". If you'd done a bunch of work to figure out a way to approximate immortality, you probably would be rather annoyed that someone wanted to sell the world's collective souls to make everyone immortal-ish.
I'm trying to work out how their story is supposed to fit with the pre-Hoofington city being obliterated by a meteor strike, though. They've got an awful lot of things backwards, sideways, or upside down.
HOLY CRAP THEY ACTUALLY DO
("Treasures of the native land where I am from. This one speaks 'hello,' and this 'welcome.'")
Which is more important, food or water?
This has been today's Two Minutes Hate.
...I love this.
Do Zencori shamans get Dramatic Thunder spirits?
Finally! Every jackass zebra who thinks ponies are somehow lesser because they can't see spirits should be forced to write this on the chalkboard 100 times.
"Thunder". Goddammit, Skylord...
One of them! ONE! Siiiigh... but he's totally in the right, otherwise. Skylord, you IDIOT. How does the Zebrican-raised griffon have less sense than a bunch of ponies from Equestria?!
I just realized this story's greatest problem: Skylord is a griffon whose name doesn't begin with a G.
I'll have my upvote back now, thank you very much.
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Oh, his name starts with G.
Anyone sle notice that he's technically call in the ponies the villains here?
That a girl! Finally getting a hang of it.
doom and gloom and all that jazz~
Bleach joke pending...
Woe. That poor, ignorant soul.
a story teller/ actor taken by a mercantile band.
So sad. Ri.I.P. anonymous zencori.
...they burned a librarian on a stack of books?
thats, like, a double standard right there!
Why isn't this book in Twilight's library?
Aaaaand we top off our chapter with the usual doom and gloom.
And Pythia said there wasn't any. silly zebra, you're in the fallout universe! That's 80% doom, 10% gloom and 10% joy and hapiness and hysterical emotional outbursts.
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For the same reason she never read that 'Supernatural' book. Twilight doesn't believe what she doesn't understand, even after Pinkie told her that understanding something isn't important. At least, in this universe. Some lessons, like Fluttershy's, just have to get repeated or they get forgotten.
Can you fly? - was my thought. This sounded like Karlson who lives on roof reference.
Oh fuck you.
Dammit Charity, what was the one thing Pythia said not to do!
I cant remember much about the soul Pythia said she had in her near the end of PH, but I had a really f*cked up idea pop in my head about how Pythia could be so young, and live for the last so many thousand years. Since its clear she's both The Serpent who sabotaged the consecration of Hoofington, and the hero from the Tremendous 12.
I thought of her birthing herself, like some messed up form of Phoenix rebirth, and that would be her curse.
So the Serpent condemned her tribe out of love for a pony? I thought one of the visions PH showed that ponies didn't appear or exist on the continent until long after that catastrophe. Either way. It seems history is about to repeat itself. I am loving the Zebra lore tho.
So I'm guessing The Shaman is powerful enough to put a curse on any mention of itself even in text!
Poor Majina, you'll get your moment to shine, I know it.
Precious has some personal goals going on in the background. I have a feeling she might pull a Rampage level of betrayal to get what she wants. Which is to be 'normal'. There is a lack of one on one time with Scotch and the others.
I'm kinda put off that Scotch wasn't all that tore up about Vicious and Xarious (her uncle figure). I know Somber is trying hard not to make Scotch another BJ. But come on, maybe just a little whining! It's too late now, I guess but there could be some reflection later.
Betelgeuse, I hope Pythia doesn’t call that star three times.
So all of a sudden either Charity understands Zebra or the Zencori speaks pony.
and if they are speaking pony then that leaves out Starlord.
The communication gap seems to be suddenly non-existent.
Okay I finished Horizons just last month and I have no idea what she's recalling.
I don't know what Charity had to do with their time on the Moon but she is definitely a jerk.
Looks like Skylord is as dumb as Star Lord!
Tree : 1 Scotch’s & Co: 0
Mad Max reference spotted.
Trailblazer’s back and I’m not sure how I feel about him. Not a fan of mysterious characters popping up and being all mysterious. And speaking of mysterious characters, what happened to the Dealer? It looked like he would play a more important role, but he’s notably absent from the story since Rice River. Did he get bored during the three-week trip on the Old Road and decided to go back to Equestria, looking for another filly to annoy?
Also we now have a mysterious shaman/spirit/Elminster expy that watches Scotch while acting mysterious AND a skeletal ghost horse with a thing for cards that watches Scotch while acting mysterious. I think that’s at least one mysterious being too much.
Ok Zebras had cosplayers before it was cool. The Embodiers sound a lot like the cosplayers from PH: Dressing yourself like your favorite hero, march out into the world to live up to his or her name and then get horrible murdered by raiders or monsters because you overestimated your skills.
I know this whole scene with the Hiroto Embodiers is played for laughs, but I can’t help but think about the darker implications. This guy here got so much into his role that he attacked a random filly. And while he was no real treat due to being out of shape, it’s likely that there are other Embodiers who are much fitter. And some of them are playing “villains”. It’s probably not funny if you get beaten to pulp by a Rainbow Dash Embodiers.
Oh Pythia you adorable little grumpy Zebra.
Speaking of Pythia, her remembering the lines of at the play could be a hint about her past. What if she was the Starkatteri who “betrayed“ the others? It’s implied Blackjack got cursed with immortality due to a deal with the spirit. Something similar could’ve happened to Pythia. What if she can die, but is reborn every time without any memories of her past lives? Wouldn’t be the weirdest thing in this setting.
There are basically every fandom ever.
Ok I can buy them not believing Scotch about Blackjack defeating the Eater of Souls. There are ponies who don’t believe it either and the way he's described it's hard to believe that anything could kill it. But the Lightbringer? Shouldn’t be too hard to confirm the truth of that story. Pretty stupid to assume it’s a made up story, just because it happened to ponies.
That said, give it a century or two and I’m sure both the stories of the Lightbringer and Security will be a part of the Zebra story canon.
Yay Memory Orbs are pack… except they are now weird Pony Shaman visions. Seems like the Caesar may not have been a bad guy after all. Probably just stubborn because of his wrong believe that Equestria was ruled by Nightmare Moon. Then again, a lot of creatures did pretty stupid things and this whole mess could’ve been avoided if some of them had actually used their brains.
Defiantly not looking at you Fluttershy…
I wonder how attacked her in that vision. And what’s up with that weird power transfer from the Caesar to the others? How did he gain this power in the first place? Is it because of a deal with the spirts?
And to sum up the last part of this chapter:
“So, he’s an idiot?”
Overall I liked that we got more lighthearted chapter this time. Especially after the previous two who had some pretty gruesome deaths.
I also like that for the first time in a long while we’ve seen a place in Zebra land where people aren’t miserable. Just an ordinary village with no problems, except for the Blood Legion. And even they were just there and didn’t do anything horrible.
Oh Skylord... Why did you have to go mess with Bloods?? I get why... But like... You have fucked up boy. Fucked up real bad.