Besides some grammar mistakes and the odd text bolding, not that bad of a chapter. Keep up the work and you will learn to fix the grammar I'm sure.

7861504 GDOC'S has been giving me problems while importing. If I bold, underline, or italic anything, everything after becomes bolded/italiced/underlined. I don't know how to fix it right now. As for the grammar, are you possibly refering to the accents of the characters?

I would also like to say thank you for your criticism on the prologue. The development of chapter 2 is not going as smoothly as planned, but it is being done. I hope to have it complete in the coming weeks.

7596591 Thank you for pointing that out. I have now fixed this.

7884717

Errr, I completely forgot what I saw that was wrong... but it wasn't the colloquialisms. I just skimmed over it again and didn't see anything wrong, may have been talking about pacing and wrote that by accident. Anyways, I have never heard of that problem with GDocs and you will figure out the perfect pacing with practice, though you are pretty darn close.

7885689 I assure you, the problem with GDocs is very real. It may have to do with the process of importing to fimfiction. And thank you, I've been working hard with pacing this. I've been having a hard time pacing chapter 2 in a way I would like. I may have to rewrite part of it to make it not seem rushed. This will take more time, but will make the chapter a higher quality.

So... This is a long time coming, ain't it? I'm heavily considering the cancellation of this story. Hear me out.

Priblem 1. My biggest problem with story writing is filler. I have multiple plot points and twists in mind, and fully fleshed out, but I lack the creativity for creating the filler to fill the gaps between these points.

Problem 2. Motivation. When I started writing this story, I was riding a wave of inspiration after having read the original Fallout: Equestria and Project Horizons. I had so much in mind for this character. Looking back, there are some things that can't be included without making Midnight overpowered, which brings m. Of the few things I can add, it's that she is an incredibly skilled flier, a natural Survivor, having grown up in the Everfree (which is another thing that seems ridiculous) a skilled Sniper, and a brave leader. What I will have to remove is her top flight speed, and own special version of the Sonic Rainboom. Her top flight speed is, in base equestria canon, a rival to Rainbow Dash. Upon breaking the sound barrier, a magic field spreads outwards, which blocked out all light, which brings me on to reason number 3.

3. SHE COULD USE MAGIC. I cannot stress how much of a problem this would be! She'd literally be a hornless alicorn! This would cause so many problems if done incorrectly! Midnight as a character is good, but in the world of FO:E, she would be op.

Honestly, I'm torn. I could cancel this. Lidt this weight off my back. Or continue, and take all the risks that come with it. This is a big decision, and I hope you'll bear with me just a little longer while I make my decision. And don't worry, if I do cancel this story, I'll more than likely start a new story. I'll make sure to get back to you guys later on this, hopefully soon.

Until next time.
-Comet Blitz

As for chapter 2... Well... It's a bit of a mess right now. If I do cancel this story, I'll at least polish and release chapter 2.

WOO! PROLOGUE REWRITE RELEASED BABY! CHECK OUT Fallout Equestria: Star (Rewritten) For the new version!