Dragonfire, a confident mercenary mare, takes her wasteland life as it comes. Little does she know that she is more special than she had realised—so much so that somepony lurking in the shadows has been waiting for her for a long time.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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I have a feeling that the use of 'we' instead of I in the prologue isn't a mistake and will be relevant later on... but looking really good so far
I hope I don't come off as rude here but... I feel like this entire prologue is an unnecessary exposition dump that's been done in every other FoE sidefic (including the original FoE itself). I guess it's more of a personal thing on my side since that sort of stuff turns me off as a reader.
Reviews... reviews never change... unless you change review medium that is, no need talking about taste of a book or scent of a song after all!
Don't really have so much to say, I think that the prologue was planned to be rather weird, planting questions in the readers head so they want to turn the next page, but I would have liked it to be a bit longer for it to really settle in. Try re-watching some of the old intros, look at how long they actually are compared to how long they feel, they are around 7 minutes long. Had whoever the speaker is gotten a bit more time to speak, to show how alien they are compared to other speakers, would all of this have had a bigger impact on me. Sure it worked, it teased me, but it did not grab me by the balls and I am in no hurry to read the next chapter.
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If you have ever played a Fo game would you know that it is how they all start, and that this way of intro is a homage to the original game. Heck even the DLC for Fo:NV start that way!