Page generated in 0.043 seconds
Total duration
1,044 users online
1,870,015 hits today, 2,054,621 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Here we go.
As if Whisper needed that. But hopefully Emerald's heart can be restarted.
Oh my god. I can't. This is awesome and a cliffhanger but at the same time not.
Welp. Thanks for the new chapter, it certainly got my emotions running!
Noooooooo, not like that! Finding another changeling only to lose her. D:
Ah..damn. This complicates things so damn much. I honestly figured Emerald would be a changelings several chapters ago, but to see her revealed like this...
Shit.
Somebody better answer that phone, because I fucking called it!
what a twist!
An update...
cdn.meme.am/instances/500x/65971224.jpg
WHAT.
YOU TEASE.
(Lovely chapter as always and this certainly has some interesting implications but WHAT SHES A CHANGELING THIS IS SO HUGE)
Aaaarrrrrgghhhhhh!!!!! Such a cliffhanger! Magnificent and yet painful!
...That's how you end the chapter.
You vile teasing bastard.
7729777 I'm sorry, the line was busy because I called it first. I suspected from the moment she was using the Elements like they were codes.
I wonder if some love donation can't save her in the last moment...
So, Bug-Iluminati Confirmed. The Power Armoured Sickle cracked me up through
Whisper should take notes. That's how you do changeling infiltration, untill you die no one freaking knows!
... Well, shit, We found a changeling survivor... But I don't think it's the way they wanted to find one.
Don't know if I'll get a chance to read this until tomorrow, but I gotta say, of all the stories I track on this site, this is the one that when I see an update makes me go
The fairly even mix of surprise and those who called it makes me so happy. Sounds like I hit a good balance there
7730403
Also, that got a pretty good laugh. Thank you
...Even if I then wonder what the hell was he doing?
I saw it coming.
So, this is why her family is paranoid.
7730102
I wouldn't be surprised if Emerald had a feeling Whisper was different and that when she took care of Whisper's broken leg she found out for sure.
So I like that idea
I'm curious to see if Whisper has something still up his/her proverbial sleeve to save a fallen changeling. A love blast of some kind?
i.gyazo.com/94bc25d055f5e4da685ee1bae6dee09b.png
I saw all the signs and people saying so, yet I really thought this was going to turn out otherwise.
All my personal predictions are null and void until the next chapter is out and I can make new ones it seems.
This has just become my most anticipated story here. Combat, as usual, was flawlessly written and rich in detail. Greatly enjoyed the expansion upon wounds throughout the chapter, much better than just 'a mine exploded' and much more engaging. Not surprised by the twist, been suspecting it for a few chapters, but still decently pulled off. This a bit more of a brutal chapter than most, thoroughly enjoyed it, and wish it was possible to like/ fav a story more than once.
So close yet so far away..
Can't wait to see what happens next!
OH C'MON WHY? ITS BEEN SO LONG!
Aww thats gonna be one of hell of emotion rollecaster...
CAN'T WAIT TO READ IT ! :D
This means one of my thoughts about somepony else is right all along (thought hidden under spoiler) Mmm so that means the supa-beyoch that paid them to go to all these places with new bottlecaps... I thought she certainly might be changeling... Looks like I'm right.
Oh wow, what a great cliffhanger
Crap! You're foreshadowing! This is gonna suck!
Only read the first half of this chapter. Saving the rest for my next lunch break at work when I don't have anything else to do.
Question is... Who's Hive did she belong to?
Oooooh myyyyyy gooooooooooooooood!
Ok that is horrible.
The one other changeling Whisper has ever seen that is alive and sane.
And she dies.
Oh my god author. You're horrible. Absolutely. Horrible.
Deus Ex Machina saves Emerald?
Please?
I foresaw this! And knowing that we were coming to a point where Whisper would come so close to all the answers she sought the very same moment they would be snatched away was painful.
Poor Whisper.
Now that's a cliffhanger right there.
Well that certainly ended badly.
Sounds like Emerald was right to be alarmed, it sounded like the raiders were targeting her and the only one I can think of who would pay off raiders for that would have been her suspicious guest. But that also brings up some concerns, was this simply tying up loose ends or possibly removing a potential obstacle to her past acquaintances that are possibly after the town?
ffffFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-
This cliffhanger angers me.
Oof. A lot of us called that one, but I was kind of hoping Whisper would drop her disguise before it happened.
At least they know Whisper wasn't the only one left. Might be now...
How? How is this so emotional?! I... I don't think I've felt this bad for a character dying in a story in ages. And holy fuck that reveal! I had a hunch, but to have it confirmed was devastating!
Well, that seems like overkill
Well, yikes. That's a fine mess they're in.
Heh. She never quite felt comfortable with an endoskeleton, huh? I guess actually seeing it only makes that worse
Ya, um, but what about Sickle?!
...damn. She's so lucky she's got that armour of hers.
Welp. That little idiocy just cleaned out their entire healing potions supply, didn't it?
Heh. Wow. Sickle attemting to lighten the mood, and it doesn't come off as wholly inappropriate, for once.
It just makes her look more fearsome. First raider they meet now, she's all "Hey, guess who stepped on a mine of yours and is still around to fuck you up?"
No, stop stepping on mines that get everyone hurt
Sarcastic Sickle is best Sickle
"Of course I'm sure I'm really hungry, now gimme the grub already!"
Eh. Only reason Fluttershy didn't fight was because once she got angry, she didn't have to. Anyone on the opposing side of that Stare would be so terrified they'd either be frozen or running for the hills
Uh. Shit. They're not all changelings, are they?
Translation: We've seen shit you wouldn't believe!
Dun dun dunnnn!
It's interesting that you do that; actually reflecting on past choices. It gives a dimension beyond mere storytelling to the first-person past tense perspective.
Dusty, you forgot "and watch out for mines, dammit!"
Hoooly crap, that's some good reflexes, to drop into SATS right away.
Ah yes. The raiders had a thing for explosives, didn't they?
Welll allrighty, Sickle. Just remember they like explosives
Welp. Allrighty. That's it. Show's over, folks. Those raiders are all toast.
I have this vague feeling that she doesn't really like explosives
Ahh. I don't like where this is going...
Hah! Power armour. Sickle's going to be laughing about that one for days.
He's... communicating with someone. Huh.
Crap. They know it's Emerald.
Oh. Well. Dammit
Remarks and corrections:
> “Yeah, this is more like it!” She roared
If this is intended as "she said" construction, this shouldn't have a capital letter on "she".
> I glanced over as chuckled faintly
"as [she] chuckled faintly"
7842164
Raiders do love their overkill. I mean, just look at Sickle.
To be fair, if anyone else had led the way in, they'd probably be completely dead.
Aaand she immediately runs into another mine.
Thank you! With the whole thing being her retelling the story, I've always wanted to have little bits like that to remind everyone that's what's going on, and I like the ability for her to reflect on those events from outside the moment.
Whisper took it pretty hard when she was told "There's a skeleton inside you."
"Command, we have a Black Bug, down. Repeat: Black Bug, down."
Oh she is a channeling. ... That really sucks for Whisper, even without accounting for Emerald dying. And also, she died.
Granted, I called her dying the moment she paid them to tell people she died and was already half convinced by other commenters that she was a channeling so...
Really what I'm most reflecting on with Emerald is how she must've felt when Whisper said "What about Honesty?" Ain't that a kick in the head for a channeling trying to go straight?
...ho-ly-shite.
How unexpected.
Now I really wanna know just what the fuck is going on, since she was apparently a changeling.
Holy fucking shit, I knew it! Well not until we heard that raider talking to someone, but afterwards a stray thought came to me 'what if she and her so called family were changelings?'
I thought of ways that could work and surprisingly to me it kinda worked out. What better way for changelings to get their hooves on lots of ponies to feed off Of? Slavery.
Holy shit it was true...things just went from shitty to FUBAR!!!
Noo emerald!!!
That chapter ending!!!!!!
I would like to give you big thumbs up for writing on this chapter. You captured the experience of a mine detonation perfectly. That frenzied rush for cover in the firefight!! Spot on! Whisper's lack of combat experiance shows, as does Dusty's abundance. Excellent work, sir. /salute
Why do I feel that something really bad is gonna happen. Like a sense of dread for the characters.
And seconds later, the green flames flashed across her form, revealing the glossy black beneath.
I thunk so!
That adds a whole new dynamic to the family being "slavers," now doesn't it? Not slaves as in forced labor (well, maybe that too), but slaves as in sapient food crops...
I wonder if that's why Emerald wanted to reach the farmers so quickly. If the crew can't intercept them before the "raiders" turn them over to the family, then the likelyhood of them ever being found is like nil.
I didn't really think about the "one potion left" thing being foreshadowing until Whisper narrated "I probably should have asked [Emerald]." Personally, I could have done without those in tandem. It's not that the one potion left is bad, but leading into combat talking past tense ruins some of the tension.
>Maybe I should have.
Ok, dropping this here. It's decent, but I want a damn powertrip of a FoE story sometime. That sentence means massive levels of struggle ahead, which I don't like.
9982790
Ah, yeah, this isn't really a power-trip kind of story. I very intentionally set the focus on a character that is generally outmatched by the threats around her and only able to succeed through being clever. That said... the later chapters start to show just how exceptionally dangerous a skilled changeling Infiltrator can be, as well as some pretty big battles. But yeah, in general, it's less power-trip and more clever-sneak.
Thanks for giving it a try, in any case