Celestia is trapped on Earth.
Not as a human. Not as an alicorn. She's a common horse, an Arabian mare, without her magic, voice, knowledge of the language - not even freedom, forced to work at a riding school.

What can a single Arabian mare do to get back to Equestria from this backwater European country? With only the mind of a princess and a pencil in her teeth, Celestia must find a way home.

[Illustrated] [Alternate Earth] (without Bronies)
Rated Teen for language and some scarce suggestive themes.
Proofreading by AlicornPriest

Polish language version

Anon is woken up early to find that Princess Celestia has found it necessary to inform him of an ancient Equestrian law that concerns him. Of course he would make a good personal masseuse, right?

Rated teen for foul language and a tiny bit of lewd references.

This is an anonymous commission! Feel free to contact me if you’re looking for a commission as well!

Cover art by Mercurial64! 1988247

Celestia finally pays a visit to Equestria's resident human down in Canterlot Labs in hopes to finding the answer to what went wrong.

Twilight awakens to find that she is no longer an alicorn, nor a pony for that matter. Rather she has become the fearsome Queen of the wasteland.

This started out as an exploratory idea, that patrons requested more chapters of and was viewable earlier for said patrons. Head over here if you want a chance of adding onto this story for just 5$ or to see stories early for just 3$!

You know, I'm more than positive I've already written this before, but I can't for the life of me find that original transcript of what I had been writing. Probably got stolen or something. Shame. Then again, I might have just burnt it to kink shame Twilight and her book fetish.

Knowing me, that's probably exactly what I did.

Love you Sparky, don't try to geld me in my sleep please and thank you.

(It's literally your average HiE fic, except the guy is British, swears like there's no tomorrow and will most definitely be the grandest sarcastic arsehole that ever graced the land at the best of times. )

AN

Buckle up kiddos, we're doing the fucking time warp. Re-rewrite of the original with new and old shit happening. Variety is the spice of life, after all.

In case anyone remembers this story and thinks that I went through the trash to steal this story from the original author?

I am the original author. Give me your credit card details.

Alan, human and guest, is looking forward to a nice quiet day of sitting on the sofa watching trashy light entertainment programming with his close personal friend (and host) Princess Celestia.

Things seem a bit weird though...

A human living in Canterlot castle is given to Queen Chrysalis as part of peace negotiations between Equestria and the Hive. Celestia knew she shouldn't have let Luna finish the negotiations herself.

Cover art by jalm on Derpibooru.

Featured on 4/22/20. Thanks guys!

Now with audio readings by StraightToThePointStudio! Go check them out.
The Audio Reading Playlist

After a frightening conversation with her dad Firelight, Starlight Glimmer turns to Twilight for advice. The tale Twilight spins in response contains time travel, machine cults, and the very disturbing identity of Starlight's mother.

EDIT: Featured day of posting, 7/21/20! #3...how far will it go!? *GASP* #2!
EDIT: #1 very early Hours of 7/22 :D
EDIT: AUDIO READING by StraighttothePointStudios!

Shining has secretly befriended a certain Queen of the Changelings.

Turns out she's just a harmless nerd.

Now if only his family and friends would put down the torches and pitchforks.

Featured 7/21/20, briefly #1 on said day! ~ Squee!

Time after time, through chaos and through wars, Princess Celestia prevailed.

Of all the terrible forces she could have fallen to, Flim Flam Industry was the last one anypony had expected.

With thanks to gardrek for editing (3-6) and PinkieDP, Ice Star, and Odd_Sarge for prereading help.