Queen Chrysalis likes it when I boop her on the nose. It helps her relax. However, one day, Princess Twilight Sparkle bursts in, thinking that Queen Chrysalis has put a spell on me.

Surely, when I explain to her that I boop her, she'll understand. Right?

Right?

Inspired by a delightful flash game that can be found here.

Featured on August 28th, 2016. This is as unexpected as it is amazing.

“Do Humans Hibernate?” Rainbow has a question on her mind. She's not entirely sure why it's bothering her so much. It probably doesn't help that the only human she could ask is the world's greatest liar.

Cover art by Pusspuss this random guy called ‘Pen Mightier’ who probably wishes he is Pusspuss but isn’t.

Marshal: (mɑː.ʃəl) noun….etymology - archaic: Middle English, from Anglo-French ‘mareschal’, of Germanic origin; akin to Old High German ‘marahscalc’, from ‘marah’ (horse) + ‘scalc’ (servant). Originally referring to "a person in charge of the upkeep of horses or stable hand”. The station became a position of trust and power in medieval courts and went on to acquire its modern military usage.

Anon likes his life to be simple. He wakes up, goes to work and sometimes gets himself a good book to read while he is home. It's a routine that he likes to follow, it makes him feel like he has a bit of normality with his life in Equestria. The fact that having Celestia come crashing into his home as part of his routine should prove that his life is anything but normal.

(Thanks to PeerImagination for editing!)

Almost a year after what seemed to be the concluding battle in Celestia's great crusade against necromancers, something Mortem believes to be borderline discrimination, he discovers one of Celestia's armies setting up camp just outside his stronghold.

Not wanting to jump to any conclusions or risk angering the very powerful Princess, he concludes a diplomatic solution would be the best way forward. And so, he writes a letter.

Proofread by the wonderful Soren Mercer
Featured on Equestria Daily here
Audiobook versions by Illya Leonov and TheArchitect are here and here respectively
SoundCloud verion of Illya Leonov's is here

Anonymous leaves Ponyville to pursue a quiet office job in Manehattan. While he finds the possibility of new love in his future, he finds that his past from Ponyville isn't willing to give him up so easily. Some mares just don't know when to stop.

Who will Anon choose? His past life, Fluttershy? The mysterious Autumn? Or, perhaps the troubled Mulberry?

This story is a sequel to Princess Celestia's Newest Arch Enemy

After successfully defeating both Princess Celestia and Luna on his first day as super villain, the colt known as Bad Dude sets his sights on much larger projects. Namely, the creation of Equestria's first ever super villain group known as The Coalition of United Terrible Evils. Or C.U.T.E. for short.

But were villains ever truly meant to play nice with one another?

Artwork by Shadow Bolt.

More Bad Dude art by TurnWrongattheFork. HERE!

This story is a sequel to How many friends have you made today?!

Things are a lot better for Anon since the events of Ponyville. His store is doing great and he enjoys the company of all his friends. As the days go on, he finds that the problems of the past are quick to haunt him as he is forced to face the one thing that hurt him the most.

The Cutie Mark Crusaders decide they need to expand their numbers, but things quickly go awry when their first target begins sobbing on the spot. Sweetie Belle soon finds herself roped into hanging out with the young colt.

Can Sweetie Belle see past the young colts weirdness and allow friendship to bloom? Can Button Mash fake enough normal behavior to make at least one friend? Will these two hit it off, or are Button’s only friends destined to be the ones in his video games, forever?

Cover art by users Vallis and Novel-Idea

You've had your eyes set on Applejack for a long time. Maybe your best friend Rainbow Dash can help you earn Applejack's heart. You wouldn't see why not. Besides, she's your best bro. Right?

Previous Cover Art

Chinese Translation on Fimtale
Spanish Translation by Spaniard Kiwi

This story is contained in my book "Dash Tries to Win Your Heart and Other Short Pony Stories"

If you have interest in purchasing this non-profit book, check out my online store at this link: https://www.lulu.com/search?adult_audience_rating=00&q=flutterpriest

When the Royal Wedding scatters defeated changelings all over Equestria, a member of the hive winds up being captured in Ponyville, tied up, stunned, repeatedly shot by a cannon, and held against his will.

The truly frightening part is he’s starting to like it.

Thank you to my twisted editors: Tek, Seether00, GameKnut, Cerulean Blue and Peter
The picture Pinkie Pie uses Party Canon is from Atmospark at DeviantArt

This story is listed as comedy⁽*⁾ because the author has an odd sense of humor. No changelings were harmed⁽¹⁾ during the production of this story, despite what the newspapers printed or the ongoing lawsuit from the ESPCA⁽²⁾. The management would like to remind all readers to spay and neuter your pets. Unless your pet is a changeling, in which case…

(*) Dark humor, to be exact. If you are someone who finds pleasure in the misfortune of others, enjoys watching the occasional inept chainsaw juggler or cheers during a NASCAR crash, welcome home. Also, get help.

(1) Excluding blunt trauma, thermal impingement, chemical exposure, radiation, thaumaturgic infusions, and confetti ingestion. All characters represented, including changelings, are the exclusive property of Hasbro, no matter what they may shout at you from between the bars of their cell. Any violence or pain inflicted on the changeling in this story was simulated on a stunt changeling with special effects and mirrors. Except for the cannon. There is no truth to the rumor that Queen Chrysalis provided the stunt changelings from a supply of disobedient changelings in her dungeon⁽³⁾.

(2) Equestrian Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Arthropods

(3) The Changeling Kingdom does not have dungeons. They have Call Centers. It explains a lot, actually.

Here is a link to some appropriate background music to listen to while reading: Piotr Tchaikovneigh’s 1812 Overture

Additional Note: This story is tagged Sex because it has the occasional reference to… well, sex. There are no explicit references, but there are things.