Two magical prodigies cast in Twilight's shadow stumble about in somepony else's story and try to find meaning in their lives.

***

An affectionate parody of Tom Stoppard's Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead.
Which is in itself an absurdist and existentialist parody of Hamlet.

Russian Translation
Chinese Translation

Annoyed that the nobles keep taking up all of princess Celestia's time filly Twilight vents the only way she knows how. By writing an essay! However she wrote this essay on the blank bottom of the scroll containing the speech Princess Celestia was to read to her little ponies. And once the speech ends, Celestia doesn't stop. Much to the horror of some of the nobles in the crowd.

Proof read by Cobalt Comet

Edited by Dark Chocolate

This story now has a Youtube reading.

The day after she swears off her petty, villainous ways, Starlight Glimmer is finally ready for her very first friendship lesson! To mark this grand occasion, Twilight decides a walk through town is in order to let her new student make some friends the right way.

It turns out that Starlight Glimmer is exceedingly bad at making friends the right way.

Many thanks to Syeekoh and Kamikakushi for taking a big one and prereading this for me.

Nothing suspicious going on here.
Just a group of bugs coming together to create a show for everyone to watch.
...
Twilight doesn't believe it for a second.

Sunset Shimmer visits Equestria and spends some time taking care of animals with Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash.

Rainbow Dash is apparently not good with certain animals.

Sunset discovers very quickly that what you learn from the human world cannot be unlearned, ever.

Rated Teen and Sex for a pile of juvenile innuendo, though technically no bad language. Only technically.

"Hey, you used to be Celestia's student, right? Did you know Sunset Shimmer?"

Tonight, Celestia will talk to Shining Armor. With just one conversation, she needs to save Equestria.

A homage to Pearple Prose, written in her style. Cover art by LoloPan. Proofread by Queuefka Palazzo, Lucky Roll, Selbi, Mr Numbers, Magello, and Pearple Prose herself.

As seen on EQD and the RCL interview.

Reading by Illya Leonov.
Reading by VocalNoctis
Chinese translation by Dreams Set Free.

This story is a sequel to Prince Blueblood Wants His Wings Back

Technically a prequel, but shh
While it is true that alicorns can be made, sometimes they are born. If a true alicorn, whose title has been rightfully earned, takes a lover who has seen the darkest truths of the universe and yet still has strength to smile, and their passion is more true than the universe itself, an alicorn might be born. The chances of such an event are so small that they make a million-to-one chance look like a sure thing.

But still, there are miracles. Sometimes an alicorn, with all the trappings of the three races, is born unto this world. It is around such beings that the universe inevitably turns. Even if they find themselves... reduced.

This is the story of Prince Blueblood the First. It is also the story of Prince Blueblood the Thirty-Fourth, and all of the Bluebloods in between.

An entry in ocalhoun's Big 250k Contest.

Baking cakes, selling cakes, baking more cakes—it's all in a normal day's work for Pinkie Pie when the Cakes take the day off and leave her in charge of Sugarcube Corner. All she wants now is to prove that she's capable of handling anything life throws her way.

Just so long as life doesn't ask her to go upstairs.

Thanks to TGM, Rainedash, Kamikakushi, and Dubs Rewatcher for delving into the dark to preread this for me.

No one asked for it! No one demanded it! But here it is anyway: pure, distilled essence of badfic, satirized for your protection and diluted with enough water to keep you from going blind. In addition to the two terrible and wildly unoriginal shots that have been available separately on Elric's blog, this collection contains a previously untasted third chug of intentionally painful and derivative awfulness. (Do not operate heavy machinery while under the influence of bad fanfiction.)

Universally admired original characters, show characters acting out of character, stupid names, implausible shipping, gratuitous tragedy, and more -- it's all right here. Read if you dare.

Any resemblance between these OCs and any other OCs, living or dead, is purely coincidental maliciously intentional.