I'm a coward, a wimp, and a loser. I'm never any help to anypony, especially when it counts. I haven't done anything worth mentioning. And my childhood friend is always picking on me. I mean, I know I ruined Nightmare Night, but she didn't have to laugh at me . . . .

I made two of my friends cry. I kidnapped the Princess' bird. I set a Parasprite swarm on the whole town. I don't think anyone would care. I don't think anyone would miss me at all.

I hope that rope doesn't break . . . .