Centuries ago, Clover the Clever recorded in her personal diary the events surrounding the origins and early lives of Celestia and Luna. Now, thanks to the princesses' gracious consent and the scholarship of Twilight Sparkle, this account may now be read by modern Equestrians.

Why do they keep coming back? Maybe it's wounded pride: they were humiliated once, and so they have to get one con over on Ponyville to heal their egos. Or a lot more than one, given all of the successive embarrassments. But either way, the brothers have returned to the scene of their crime(s) so often as to give Pinkie a tail twitch configuration just for their presence. Something which leads her and Twilight to a huge tent in the Everfree, one which has free drinks, slot machines, and happy ponies who haven't lost so much as a tenth-bit.

They can't lose.

As far as the latest con goes, that's just part of the setup.

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Cover art taken from an image created by DrXFizzle.

There's really no way to prevent it. No matter how careful you are, regardless of one's dedication to personal cleanliness, they're going to get in eventually. And for most ponies, it's a moment of deep gross-out, followed by scrubbing down their entire pantry, kicking out far too much of what's in it, and ending with a regretfully expensive shopping trip to replace what was lost.

But this is Rarity. The situation was unacceptable. And her intention was to take out the problem at the source.

Now if she can just find a way of explaining that to the jury...

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Rated C for Crackfic.

This story is a sequel to A Duet For Land And Sky

She knows how to look out for herself: that's why her parents left her in charge of the house. Because they know she's responsible. But Ponyville's adults were collectively incapable of seeing that, and so she's been forced to live with the Apples. Something which made Applejack delusional, because that mare now thinks she has the right to exert control.

Scootaloo disagrees. She takes care of herself. As soon as her parents come back, they'll explain that. Everything will be normal again. And they'll be in Ponyville any day now. They always could arrive tomorrow, and there was a chance that they would have shown up yesterday.

But this is today.

(Part of the Triptych Continuum, which has its own TVTropes page and FIMFiction group. New members and trope edits welcome.)

Now with author Patreon and Ko-Fi pages.

Cover art from vector capture by Lahirien.

There's nothing quite like a bad idea whose time has come. With ponies, all it can take is one charismatic idiot with an audience: for cattle, the 'charisma' part is optional. The young bulls among Applejack's tenants have gotten ahold of a truly bad idea, and all she wants to do is stop it before anyone really gets hurt.

Which means she's taking on the power of hormonal idiocy.

...it's probably time to bring in a friend.

(Now with author Patreon and Ko-Fi pages.)

Realistically, those whose parties wake a Princess from her slumber should expect consequences. But Celestia simply wants to get some sleep, and so her chosen solution is a simple one: deal with it through not dealing with it. It's quick, easy, and sends the problem down the road.

On an equally realistic note, a Princess who decides to make consequences into somepony else's problem should probably expect a few of her own.

Return To Sender. Address Extremely Known.

(Part of the Triptych Continuum, which has its own TVTropes page and FIMFiction group: new members and trope edits welcome. Takes place after Triptych itself.)

Now with author Patreon and Ko-Fi pages.

Obiter dicta -- things said in passing.

A collection of short stories, vignettes, and delete scenes, mostly based in the Civil Serviceverse and tending to be either slice of life or comedy. Also contains contest entries including FanOfMostEverything's Imposing Sovereigns.

Currently contains:

1. An Afternoon For Dotted Line [slice of life] [comedy]
2. The Game The Princesses Play [comedy]
3. On the Inaccuracy of Proverbs [slice of life] [comedy][sad]
4. The Nature of War [history]
5. On Forensic Accounting & Choral Singing [comedy]
6. Hoofprints [human][sad]
7. Dr. Spinning Top—Specimen Annotated Daily Schedule [slice of life]
8. Love and Other Acquired Tastes [comedy][sad]
9. Any Other Business? [comedy]
10. Songs Like Snow [romance]
11. Civics [comedy]
12. The Other Princess [slice of life] [comedy]

This story is a sequel to The Waiting Doom

It was just a bad cold. But the Cakes are first-time parents, they panicked, and... well, the twins fully recovered in the Canterlot hospital. Pinkie just didn’t know about any of it until now, because she was on a mission. So to make up for her absence, she’s sending the Cakes home. Pinkie can bring the foals home after they’re discharged. Which should be any minute now.

...or hour...

Well, it’s a big hospital. Maybe she can find something to do.

(While this story is tagged as a sequel, the only thing it shares with the previous one is theme. It can be read as a stand-alone, and no reader knowledge of previous events is required.)

Now with author Patreon and Ko-Fi pages.

This story is a sequel to A Duet For Land And Sky

There are certain requirements for herbivores, particularly when it comes to kitchen appliances. A few items wind up being used just about every day and in this case, the ancient piece was used until it broke. All Applejack has to do is find a suitable replacement for the old salad spinner. Something just about anypony should be able to manage with virtually no trouble at all.

Of course, the Bearers aren't just anypony...

(Part of the Triptych Continuum, which has its own TVTropes page and FIMFiction group: new members and trope edits welcome. This story is only tagged as a sequel to show its rough place in the timeline.)

Now with author Patreon and Ko-Fi pages.

This story is a sequel to Triptych

For Applejack, the Bearers' most recent adventure had consequences. She was the first in her family to break the Secret. She volunteered to become Twilight's teacher for earth pony magic. And with the chains of tradition still falling away, she did something else. She asked Snowflake to go out with her. To see if they were compatible. If it was possible for love to appear. Whether they could take the first steps together on a new road.

But Apples go out with earth ponies. The line marries pure.

And it won't be long before the rest of the family starts to find out...

(Part of the Triptych Continuum, which has its own TVTropes page and FIMFiction group. New members and trope edits welcome.)

Now with author Patreon and Ko-Fi pages.

Cover art by Harwick. Please contact him for commission rates.