Sometimes, there are states of emotion that can overwhelm even the mightiest of creatures; or so they say. Queen Chrysalis had never taken stock in such tales, nor the creatures that told them. Until today that is.

Artist is hotkinkyshy

Celestia loves her little sis - but family has a way of making it difficult sometimes when very bizarre secrets are unveiled.

Tonight is one of those nights.

There's not much to say about this stupid little thing. I was searching the archives for another greentext I wrote and stumbled back upon this one that I had forgotten about. It purely came about as a result of seeing the cover pic for the first time.

Said cover pic is by Tomatocoup

Princess Celestia needs to have Blueblood assassinated.

For reasons.

Rarity seems like a good choice to do that, right?

Derived from a very silly conversation three months ago between Dewdrops on the Grass, The Sleepless Beholder, and myself.

Featured 4/6/2023 - 4/13/2023!

Now with a Russian translation by GrandCat!

Reviewed by Loganberry in the blog Louder Yay!, earning a three out of five stars rating!

Featured on Equestria Daily on 4/11/2023, as well as in their 25 More of the Best Rarity Fanfics to Read for Rarity Day on 9/8/2023!

Equestria's biggest, baddest, most stair-obsessed tyrant has returned, and he's got plans.

That is until destiny strikes, and our king runs into a bubbly young hippogriff with whom he's surprised he actually shares something in common.

The unlikely duo set off to discover only the best stairs in all the land, and may just learn a thing or two about themselves along the way.

What is a mediocre villain to do these days? How in Equestria do you compete with the likes of Chaos gods and love-stealing shapeshifters? Ever since those Bearer brats found the Elements of Harmony and Princess Celestia's long-lost and kind-of-evil-but-not-really-in-the-end sister returned, nopony bats an eye at the small potatoes any more.

Small Potatoes himself just cannot take being relegated to the side lines any longer! He has one, glorious plan in the works, one that might finally see it - his name, that is - go down in history. He's going to do the one thing that villains all over Equestria have been failing to do since that fateful Summer Sun Celebration to stop the Guardians of Harmony once and for all.

He's going to hire somepony else to do the job for him.

[This story contains scenes about death, attempted murder, some blood and an injury described in light-moderate detail (and with a humourous bent, I'm hoping.)]

For years, Twilight Sparkle has kept track of how little both Princess Celestia and Luna eat.

A small slice of cake here. A single cup of tea there. So what really keeps the Princesses going from day to day?

And is Twilight Sparkle truly prepared to unearth such facts?

Artwork by davidsfire.

It really isn't Twilight's fault. She certainly didn't intend those exact results and given everything else which was happening at the time, there was no chance to fix it! Besides, it was just reasonable to expect that Ponyville's natural tendencies would solve things on their own. Probably without even noticing, and most likely with a squish.

But that clearly didn't happen. Because when it comes to that particular experiment's aftermath, the worst-case scenario just came through.

Fluttershy knows about the frog.

(Now with author Patreon and Ko-Fi pages. Cover art render created by Clawed-Nyasu.)

Rated C for vitamins Crackfic.

Wherein the foals of Ponyville stage a Hearth's Warming play, and everything goes irretrievably to hell.

Written for Alaborn for the 2018 Jinglemas collab.

Zipp researches aerodynamics. Pippsqueaks get a completely wrong idea about it.
Preread by AtomicClop and Cinder Vel
Art by Grapefruit-Face
Scouted here.
Reading by StraightToThePointStudio:
Part 1
Part 2

When The House of Enchanted Comics starts selling board games too, Spike picks up a bundle of them for Twilight and the girls to play. All the board games have really funny names: Stellaris, Command & Conquer, Dishonored, EvE...

Maybe the girls should have just played monopoly instead.

A series of one-shots about ponies and video games. Unedited random fun.