• Member Since 26th Dec, 2012

CartsBeforeHorses


Put the cart before the horse, mix things up, and look at them in a different way.

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Found 171 stories in 55ms

Total Words: 3,323,584
Estimated Reading: 1 week

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E

Princess Big Macintosh saves Equestria.

This comes as a surprise to Princess Celestia, who wasn't aware Equestria needed saving, actually.

A less-than-imposing sovereign.

Chapters (1)
T

Starlight’s life has had its ups and downs, mostly downs, though there has always been one particular thing she loved doing.

Flying a kite.

You might be asking yourself ‘why would one of the most powerful Unicorns in Equestria fly kites for a hobby?’ and... I couldn’t tell you, honestly. She just kinda does, alright? It’s her thing.

So what happens when, one day, she decides to take off and relax with her friends? What happens if those friends are Maud and Pinkie Pie? What happens when Pinkie Pie has to fly a kite?

Time to find out.

Chapters (1)
E

Twilight Sparkle may have shown Starlight Glimmer the error of her ways, but Starlight is still new to the concept of true friendship. Fortunately, Twilight has true friends in high places.

However, when Fluttershy and Starlight start talking about old times, the two find unexpected solidarity in shared heartache.

Preread by Mooncalf.

Chapters (1)
T

On a dark night filled with even darker magics, an insane cult attempts to give Nightmare Moon a body and life of her own, utterly separate from Princess Luna. But, when the spell is interrupted by Celestia, something unexpected is created.

Now, a little black alicorn filly named Nyx finds herself living under the care of Twilight Sparkle, only to be haunted by memories and emotions from her past. Is she Nightmare Moon reborn or is she simply a doppelganger with a soul and mind of her own? Can Twilight Sparkle protect Nyx from those who refuse to see past her dragon eyes and black coat?

Or, will Nyx be forced to inherit the sins that may not even be hers and become the greatest evil Equestria has ever known?

Chapters (22)
E
Source

We all know the Great and Powerful Trixie as Equestria's premier travelling entertainer, but what was she like as a young filly? What inspired her to be the showmare supreme we all know and love? Here we have a collection of little stories featuring filly Trixie!

Got a suggestion for an idea for an short story featuring filly Trixie? Please share in the comments, and we'll see what happens!

Also, absolutely do not check out Tiny Twilight Tales by my nemesis in fluff, Foals Errand. Just don't do it! Filly Trixie is far more adorable than Twilight!




Pre-read by Zomg and Foals Errand
Edited by bathroomstahl.
Edited again by Noble Thought. You all rock!

Chapters (7)
E
Source

King Sombra is constantly annoying me about pudding. Instead of paying for it he wants me to make it!

Chapters (1)
T

The following takes place after "Super-Squeezy 3000" but certainly before "A Canterlot Wedding".

*** URGENT ***

Rogue asset notice.

The retriever 'Elijah' failed to submit for decommissioning after he allowed a rogue assent escape. As such, our immaculate and supreme sovereign Queen has chosen you, 'Absalom', to find him and retrieve him. He was last seen near the pony settlement 'Ponyville' in 'Region 5' (please consult your map). Make your way to the region and consult the local contact 'Joshua' for more information. As always, be concise and discreet in your retrieval. Carelessness leads to sloppiness, sloppiness leads to questions, questions lead to investigations, investigations lead to unfortunate discoveries and unfortunate discoveries lead to decommissioning.

Please collect the following supplies from the quartermaster:

- 1 brown carrying bag
- 1 Wester-Moggin standard issue wrist mounted crossbow
- 6 crossbow bolts
- 1 'Region 5' map
- 1 pair of pliers
- 1 retrieved asset bag
- 3 MRE packets

Always remember the identification phrase: A; "I am not one of them..." B; "...but they all know me by name."
Always remember to keep the stories of your skins straight.
Always remember to inform the region agent if you are creating new or retiring old skins.
Always remember the maximum skins per asset, barring emergencies, is three.
Always remember that discretion is our way.
Always remember that you can be replaced.

Retrieve 'Elijah' and return for further assignment.

Chapters (5)
E

There is just something about season five seems off to every pony. Fortunately, Detective Rarity is on the case and she won't stop until she gets to the bottom of what is going on.


This fan fiction was featured in the story section of Bejeweled Rarity! You can view it here.

It was also featured in the Bejeweled Rarity site blog. You can view the featured article here.

Thank you to Nataylor7 for the two features. I very much appreciate them.

Chapters (1)
T
Source

When the Royal Wedding scatters defeated changelings all over Equestria, a member of the hive winds up being captured in Ponyville, tied up, stunned, repeatedly shot by a cannon, and held against his will.

The truly frightening part is he’s starting to like it.

Thank you to my twisted editors: Tek, Seether00, GameKnut, Cerulean Blue and Peter
The picture Pinkie Pie uses Party Canon is from Atmospark at DeviantArt

This story is listed as comedy⁽*⁾ because the author has an odd sense of humor. No changelings were harmed⁽¹⁾ during the production of this story, despite what the newspapers printed or the ongoing lawsuit from the ESPCA⁽²⁾. The management would like to remind all readers to spay and neuter your pets. Unless your pet is a changeling, in which case…


(*) Dark humor, to be exact. If you are someone who finds pleasure in the misfortune of others, enjoys watching the occasional inept chainsaw juggler or cheers during a NASCAR crash, welcome home. Also, get help.

(1) Excluding blunt trauma, thermal impingement, chemical exposure, radiation, thaumaturgic infusions, and confetti ingestion. All characters represented, including changelings, are the exclusive property of Hasbro, no matter what they may shout at you from between the bars of their cell. Any violence or pain inflicted on the changeling in this story was simulated on a stunt changeling with special effects and mirrors. Except for the cannon. There is no truth to the rumor that Queen Chrysalis provided the stunt changelings from a supply of disobedient changelings in her dungeon⁽³⁾.

(2) Equestrian Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Arthropods

(3) The Changeling Kingdom does not have dungeons. They have Call Centers. It explains a lot, actually.


Here is a link to some appropriate background music to listen to while reading: Piotr Tchaikovneigh’s 1812 Overture

Additional Note: This story is tagged Sex because it has the occasional reference to… well, sex. There are no explicit references, but there are things.

Chapters (21)
T
Source

After the defeat of Starlight Glimmer, Rainbow Dash comes to a startling conclusion about the villains they fight.

With thanks to JCatt and Lord of Dorkness with their help pre-reading.

Chapters (1)