• Member Since 21st Feb, 2013

Officer Hotpants


Quando omni flunkus, moritati

Comedic Stories 131 stories
  • Comedic Stories 131 stories - 66 unread chapters A laugh a day keeps the Eldritch Horros at bay, they say. For a while, anyway.
    Created by Officer Hotpants
    - October, 2014
Found 83 stories in 45ms

Total Words: 2,462,499
Estimated Reading: 6 days

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For obvious reasons, Hearts and Hooves Day has always been Cadance's favorite holiday. She and Shining Armor like to spend the holiday in Ponyville, but while Shining is busy making preparations for the evening, Cadance was hoping to meet up with Twilight to tease Anon for being single. Again. To their surprise, he has gone missing. Now, the hunt is on for Ponyville's resident human. Did he really get a special somepony, or is he just trying to avoid the princess of love again?

Meanwhile, Anon isn't aware that his whereabouts are a secret.

Chapters (2)
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Fluttershy finds birdsong wonderful. Regardless of what that birdsong is about.


Written for Bicyclette's A Thousand Words contest. Has a Chinese translation done by hehelover.

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Anon just wanted to play a prank with his newfound powers. It got out of hand.
(RGRE)
{This story has two versions, the last chapter is the first person version.}

Chapters (2)
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Ultimately, what Anon learned was to never trust Cadance. (Contains gratuitous Scottish accent)
(RGRE)
{This story has two versions, the last chapter is the first person version.}

Chapters (2)
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Anon is tired of the hectic day-to-day of living amongst the ponyfolk and decides to purchase some land in the Everfree to have some peace and quiet all by his lonesome. How much land you ask? All of it

Join me in watching as Anon sorts out the bits and bobs of his newfound assets. It is sure to be a ride, and definitely not a smooth one.

Join our Discord Server here if you want updates as soon as new chapters are posted and dank memes.

Takes place starting shortly after the conclusion of Slice of Life.

Featured for Nine Consecutive days from 6-20-21 to 6-29-21!

Check out the audiobook by Straighttothepoint!: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PhMoe4RfYz0

Chapters (7)
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Anon has been in Ponyville for almost three months now and has noticed some of the odd behaviors of the local ponies, they seem to burst out into song whenever they feel like and it can spread until it affects the whole town seemingly. Thanks to the fact that none of the ponies have ever heard him sing a few of those he's acquainted with grow concerned and curious about his ability to sing.



Completed for now.
No art because I'm not a popular kid.
Profanity because Fuck you.
Sex because of naughty words not naughty deeds.
If someone else already has a similar story, good job you probs did it better but here it is.

Chapters (1)
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Throughout his time in Equestria, Anon has seen a great many things - that being said, he's in for a first. The strange behemoth is as beautiful as she is baffling, leaving the man in a bit of a pickle. What does one do when faced with a literal giant of a pony?

Artwork by AnonTheAnon (Twitter @RealAnonTheAnon)
Big shout-out to MiddyNight (Twitter @Middynight_) for help with the Scottish accent for her!

If you want to help support me, I have a Tip-Jar/Patreon HERE

Chapters (5)
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This story is a sequel to The Mare From Germaney


You’ve been dating Aryanne for quite a while now. And, well, yeah. She’s a nazi. Sort of. For the most part, she’s completely normal, except. For. Well.

Anyway, she asks you to meet her parents. In Germaney. Oh god help you.


A commission. A one-time commission when I needed the money.

Nazis are bad.

Chapters (1)
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Growing feelings for someone in text form is one thing, but what happens when you meet for the first time? Anon meets his long time penpal and crush from overseas, Aryanne.


Nazis are bad.

Chapters (1)
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Anonymous, the only human in Equestria, has long had to place a limit on the number of questions Twilight can ask about humans. Thing is, Twilight clearly needs to know about human adrenaline. Obviously, the only solution is to rope the whole town into a huge scheme to get him to use it.

Obviously.

Edit: Featured 7/13/20! Thank you!
Edit 2: Now with reading!

Chapters (1)