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Rainbow Dash never got over her fear of flying in airplanes, but when its the only option for her to get back to Ponyville, she'll just have to face her fears. But things quickly go sideways when she suddenly has to find a way to land the plane safely. To make matters worse, her co-pilot is none other than an old rival, the mare talking her through landing is her old commanding officer, and the plane itself isn't in great condition. Can Rainbow find a way to land the plane without killing everypony on board? What exactly is the statue of Nameless the Unnameable, who used to be a king? Is Dr. Hooves really a doctor? (Don't worry, he is a doctor). Find out now in Mareplane!, The Red Parade's first and only attempt at writing something remotely amusing.

Reviewed by the wonderful Flutterjackdash!

Ranked as a #1 favorite by Donnnnn!

The following story is a parody of the movie Airplane!, which is a parody of the movie Zero Hour!.

The following story also contains puns, bad jokes, poorly worded statements, non sequiturs, contradictions, running gags, brief moments of physical violence, swearing, profanity, swearing and profanity, beets of silence, plays on words, rhetorical questions, and a deep moral message. Maybe. May also contain nuts. Mareplane! has every single joke broken down here.

The Cast:

Main Characters:
Rainbow Dash
Lightning Dust

Side Characters:
Big Macintosh
Nurse Redheart
Vinyl Scratch
Daring Do

Background Characters:
Twilight Sparkle
Fluttershy (mentioned)
Unnamed 'beets of silence' salespony
Cloud Kicker
Berry Punch
Unnamed Canterlot flight dispatcher
Nameless the Unnameable (mentioned)
Dinky Doo
Ditzy Doo
Dr. Hooves
Fleetfoot (mentioned)
Surprise (mentioned)
Apple Strudel (mentioend)
Flitter and Cloudchaser (mentioned)
Thunderlane (mentioned)
Clear Skies
Shining Armor
Princess Celestia
Maud Pie
Engine #2
Willy Not that Upset About it
Collin the Police
Unnamed Reporters
Discord (mentioned)
Moon Dancer
Bon Bon
Prince Blueblood

Chapters (1)

Rarity receives an invitation to Equestria’s most exclusive and secretive social club. The only catch is, she can only attend if she brings her lawfully wedded spouse. Fortunately, there’s a certain purple dragon who’s willing to help her overcome this little difficulty. It’s a simple, foolproof plan: get married, attend the club, and then get an annulment. Nothing is ever that simple, however… not their weekend, not their friendship, and certainly not their marriage.

Edited by Level Dasher

Featured on Equestria Daily!

Audio reading by Brook the Book Horse

Chapters (10)

Princess Celestia, tired of the constant pressure that ruling a nation puts on her, decides to take a day off and let Luna take her responsibilities for a day, something the younger alicorn is more than happy to do. She disguises herself as a pink maned pegasus pony named Sunny Skies and decides to go walking around Canterlot without any supervision. Unfortunately for her, not all parts of Canterlot are as safe as the palace, and she finds herself at the wrong end of a gang of muggers, who decide to kidnap her for a ransom when they see how much money she has on her.

Luna freaks out.

Celestia thinks it's hilarious.

Find this story and more in a print copy! Just click these words here!

Featured on Equestria Daily 8/15/13

Go here for the French translation!


Edited wonderfully by sqarishoctagon and Cloud Hop

Updated cover art by Dominatore

Chapters (9)

Since her return and rescue, Princess Luna has been looking for some way to properly honor the six mares who saved her from herself, but nothing she has been able to think of has seemed meaningful enough to repay her saviors.

Nothing, at least, until she spends Nightmare Night in Ponyville, and gets to actually know the six ponies to whom she owes such a great debt. She realizes she enjoys their company, and wishes for them to spend more time with her, that she might grow closer to them.

So, in accordance with many fine and ancient traditions, and after thinking it over for a good...couple of hours, easy, she proclaims that she shall marry all six of them. Oh, and that Twilight will be marrying Celestia, too.

Now would be the appropriate time for everypony to panic.

--Cover Art Courtesy of Zemious--
--Editing Graciously Provided By BronyWriter--

NB - The sex tag is in place for sexual situations and suggestions; the story is, and shall remain, free of explicit sex.

Chapters (8)

One beautiful morning, Twilight Sparkle decides she wants a free salad. After a small amount of theft, assault, battery, and arson, she sits down to enjoy what is sure to be the best tasting salad ever.

...Or she would have, if it weren’t for the Equestrian Intelligence Service locking her up as a potential threat to national security. Now, Twilight must escape a maximum security holding facility hidden deep underneath Canterlot. And to do it, she’ll need a paperclip, a spymare catsuit, an escape plan, and an alliance with the dastardly Drakbog, King of Frogs.

Chapters (1)