• Member Since 13th Aug, 2012

Sarcastic Brony


Give me one reason Celestia isn't best pony. Pro tip: You can't

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Stories that are dead, but I still wait. 106 stories
Found 61 stories in 50ms

Total Words: 4,873,684
Estimated Reading: 1 week

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T

'What is it about humans that urges them seek out so many endeavors in order to feed their desires? Greed, power, family, friends, philosophy, knowledge; infinite goals and infinite reasons behind them. Whoever or whatever created these beings are either cunning; to create self motivating creatures that will constantly push the limits of what's possible, or downright cruel; never truly allowing them to feel true fulfillment or satisfaction. The point is humans were created with a void, a missing piece left intentionally empty never to be filled, an undying hunger.'

A bit grim right? The names Rodney, and in case you're wondering, this is the story of my life. A life of Magic, Gods, and regrettably, Ponies. Yeah, freakin-multi-techno-collored-goody-ponies.
But it's not all bad really, got way healthier with a more green diet. Though the lack of meat can be painful at times, that one landed me in less than desired situations. I get to screw with innocent ponies on a regular basis. Didn't kill myself or everyone else with me either. So not a bad deal really, even ended up retiring as teacher.




Teen for language and some adult themes.
This takes place before season 3.

HIATUS: Currently at a programmer's boot camp. Will be done late June 2015.

AN: If you can see past my cruddy writing skills there's plenty to tickle your funny bones, I hope. First attempt at writing a fic.

Chapters (49)
T

The U.S Recon sniper, one of the most deadly and stealthy forces of nature on the planet. However, when one of these shadow warriors ends up in Equestria, how will he be able to adapt and survive in a new environment fulled with ponies, monsters, and even a splinter cell group of terrorist plotting an attack on Equestria. All while lurking in the shadows and becoming a lethal phantom. Only he is capable of stopping the extremists plan to cause utter chaos.

He controls the trigger of fate.

Chapters (5)
T
Source

Equestria's magic is gone.

Without magic, equine society collapses.

Without magic, nothing grows.

Without magic, ponies can't even stand up on their own.

Equestria's only hope for survival lies in the mysterious ape-like creatures that arrived when the magic left.

Unable to communicate or take care of itself, the pony population finds itself reduced to livestock to a race that knows nothing about them.

As humankind tries to find out where these creatures come from and why they are here, one pony is just trying to come to terms with his new status, while his 'owners' learn how to take care of him.

edited by bobdat

picture by Cradeelcin

Chapters (2)
T

When I had arrived in Equestria, I had been scared, miserable and alone, but then I had met Magnum and Pearl. The two had generously given me a roof over my head and a warm meal for my trouble. Years went by and the two became the closet thing I had to a family. When they had their first child Rarity I was given the honour of god father. I was later made legal guardian of both Rarity and the new addition Sweetie belle. Nearly three years later I would be hit with a devastating blow.

A single letter was all it took to shatter my world. I found myself the legal guardian of the two orphaned foals when I can barely afford to feed myself. Grieving and falling deeper into debt what can I do.?

Editor: Friendship is Magic

Chapters (2)
T

Anonymous, a twenty-two years old musician, is somehow transported to Equestria. He must learn to adapt to this new world. Communication with the ponies will be hard, he doesn't speak the same language as they do.

The story will be centered around Anonymous' interactions with the Mane 6 and a few of the background ponies, notably Lyra and BonBon.

Chapters (3)
T
Source

When Equestria accidentally opened a portal to another world, they discovered a new species: humans. Their arrival changed the world. For the Equestrian Ponies, it heralded a great cultural and technological jump needed from their stagnating way of life. For the Gryphons, however, they represented something baser: an opportunity to increase food stock and finally have a 'friendlier' predator species to ally themselves with.

For Gilda, one of the the humans was Ancestor-sent, a soul she would protect for bringing much joy to her life. And when a chain of events force her to accompany her human to Equestria, she recalls the circumstances of their meeting, the trials they pass through, the friendship forged through fire, and love born out of understanding under the harsh skies of the Kingdom.

This is her story.

"You are mine!"

~ Grizelda Behertz


Story set in The Gentlemanverse.

The Equestrian Critics Society gave this story the initial score of 8.5/10. (Full Review)

A one-shot story of the history of the Gryphon Kingdom can be found here.

OtterMatt's WRITE Review. Score: :pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiesmile:

Added to Canterlot's Finest

Chapters (21)
T

It's the year 2559. The UNSC barely managed to fight off the hordes of the Covenant. That victory came at a hefty price. With the war over and the rebuilding process beginning, the UNSC Tuscany is sent out to investigate potential new worlds to colonize. It's crew and captain are in for a surprise when a gravitational anomaly turns into a tense situation where cooler heads must prevail.

Super-Edited Version Coming Soon

Proofread by: Alex Nuage and way2dawn

Now 100% Twilight's Library Approved
[img]http://i.imgur.com/6MrWqNZ.png[/img]

Awesome fan-art by Gothshy [Check it out]

Chapters (32)
T

Fantastic, I finally get to visit my favorite cast of awesome talking ponies to have one small thing keeping me from enjoying it to its fullest. I CAN"T FREAKING INTERACT WITH ANYTHING. I guess being a ghost in Equestria isn't the worst thing that could have happened, at least I can shadow my favorite ponies and see what going on in their lives. Heh, I guess I've become the ultimate stalker, I do miss having someone to talk to that wasn't me, myself or I though.

*^*^*
Set before the events of season three.

Rated teen for now for safety, rating may change later on based on where the story goes. Characters will be added later if they get added to the story.

Chapters (23)
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Source

Have you ever woken up somewhere you don't recognize? I have, once before. This time was not all that different. Headache? Check. Dry mouth? Check. Upset stomach? Check. Hooves? Uhm, that one is new.

Hi, I'm Bruce and I'm 32. Currently, I'm in a light blue Earth Pony foal's body no one has ever seen before. The rest of Equestria thinks I'm 9 and something really traumatic happened to me. It doesn't help I swear like a sailor and I could really go for a smoke right about now. I just hope that the Everfree Forest, rampaging monstrosities, evil dark abominations against God and the Cutie Mark Crusaders don't kill me before I have just one last drag.

Oh, and ponies are hella creepy when you really think about it. Geez.


A little comedy side project. EDIT: HAHA Main project. More characters to be added if I get that far. Categories might be refined as I write. Entire thing is unplanned except vaguely. Don't Expect excessive cursing to be written out, just hinted at. Oh, and as the character is a 30-ish year old in the body of a 9 year old, sexual jokes might exists but sex itself will not occur.

Special thanks to user Momomojito for the awesome-tastic picture! First fanart, I'm so HAPPY. I've gotten more since then! I should collect it all here. Collected!

Chapters (43)
T

You, a young human living in Canterlot, have never fit in with anyone. It's been years since you were found in Equestria, and you've become a small outcast in this world of ponies. Hiding away from everyone, you find solace in another strange being, a weird black bug-like filly that calls herself Chrysalis.

Chapters (14)