• Member Since 13th Aug, 2012

Sarcastic Brony

Give me one reason Celestia isn't best pony. Pro tip: You can't

Stories that are dead, but I still wait. 106 stories
Found 61 stories in 35ms

Total Words: 4,817,246
Estimated Reading: 1 week



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Okay, it goes like this.

I was supposed to get married today, but fate had different plans. Those plans included me inexplicably appearing on an alien world of sapient horses who speak an entirely different language. Not only am I totally screwed with my wedding, but these sparkling horses are apparently hostile.

Yeah, I know it sounds stupid, but I'm not the kind of guy who can make up something like this.

Chapters (15)

He was an average man in nearly every sense of the term, but his entire life is flipped upside-down when a push for a paycheck turns into something unexpected...something much more. Marooned on an alien world with no known way home, how will he survive a potentially-hostile environment? Afraid, ignorant, and alone, he will be forced to adapt and survive, or seek out help.

Rated T for strong language, use of alcohol, violence, and suggestive situations.

A/N: Yes, there is romance in this story. No, I'm not referring to one-sided romances. Instead, most of the story is going to show the developing relationships between Jamie and those close to him, and you'll join him as he slowly and painstakingly overcomes a lifetime of human culture and morals.

Featured 09/18/2014! Holy horseapples, batmare!

Featured 06/13/2016! Thanks guys and gals!

Chapters (24)

Name's Storm. It's my title, my alias, and my identity.

I've been fighting for centuries now. Thousands of them, in fact. Traveling from dimension to dimension, trying my best to maintain proper balance. Not too much Law, not too much Chaos. Not too much Good, not too much Evil. At the same time, I am different. I have something that's unimaginable. Something that strikes inspiration in allies, fear in enemies, and horror in Gods themselves. A piece of interstellar technology I so aptly named the 'Universal Editor', a device that enables me to 'edit' the Strands of Existence, which then allows me nearly impossible feats.

After a close-encounter and failure to perform my self-imposed duty, I escape with only a flesh wound (or seven). Only to fall right into a realm packed with mythological beings, heavy emphasis on peaceful environments, and colorful technologically-inept equines that constantly try to become closer to me. Let's see how far my remaining sanity will plummet after this...


Rated Teen (Good amount of swearing, minor descriptive gore, and plenty of violence)
Story began: January 26th, 2012 (Posted on the 27th)
Editors: ShadowHorizons (Editor-In-Chief), SovietBacon
Cover Art (using Photoshop) made by: SovietBacon (artist of original picture [found thanks to EdwardJ] is this guy.)

Chapters (14)

You've heard it all before. No matter how hard I try, it all comes out wrong.
Maybe because it all is, isn't it?
I can't give you anything special.
All I can offer to you is my story. Just a log of my time here, patchy, as it is.
I hope that's enough. Read on at your own free will, matters little to me.
I'm sorry, we haven't been introduced.
My name's...

Featured 26/7/14

Chapters (23)

(Second Person Story)
You are a human who has found himself in Equestria. As if that wasn't bad enough, you're not quite as tall as you were when you started, and not only have to survive at a greatly reduced size, but then you have to live with it. Of course, Equestria is a place where there's always somepony willing to lend a helping hoof, and so you never lack for support. But what can they do for you really, if they can't make you bigger, or get you home? As the tale goes farther, you begin to question if you even want to go home, and then the ultimate question is asked; Can you earn your happy ending? Read and find out.

Chapters (80)

Being brought out of prison is one thing. But to be brought out after 1000 years and to find your body has aged 10 years but your mind hasn't is a completely different thing.

Such a thing happened to a boy shrouded in a dark forgotten past who at just eight years old was trapped inside the Crystal Heart for a reason he doesn't remember.

Armed with a shard of the Crystal Heart in place of his own and an underaged mind will he be able to find out why he was brought back into reality, why he was trapped in the first place and what's changed about his body and the world around him.

Featured: 19/06/2014 (We did it guys :D )

Chapters (8)

Anonymous; the only human in Equestria, leads a mild-manner life as a simple grunt working for the Ponyville Natural History Museum. And boy, is he bored of it. The whimsy of living in Equestria has come and gone, and now it's just the same old-same old. But that all changes when the museum gets a hold of new exhibit: a draconequus statue. Surely nothing bad could possibly happen involving something like that. Right...?

Chapters (3)

Princess Celestia is the paragon of everything good and pure. Noble, fair and righteous. Beloved by all, and pillar of stability for Equestria since the time of Discord.

And currently not available.

My name is Frank, the new guy in charge of this body. I'm here to fulfill all your princess needs, until I find something better to do.

Human turned X fic. Post Season 3, but ignores season 4.

Cover art by Nun2artzy

Chapters (22)

My name is Aran, and I have lived in Equestria for almost a year now. I don't remember how I arrived to Equestria, but I can never forget what happened when I arrived. Vivisection, the betrayal of trust, and speciesism. This is my story of how the so-called paradise was turned into a prison with only one way out.

Editor: Isaac3924
Editor: Zyrian
Art-cover: Sonson-Sensei

Chapters (14)

This story is a sequel to My Little Dashie: Fourth Times the Charm

A man gets transported to Equestria thanks to a particularly strange event.

After doing some pretty dastardly things, he finds himself on the run from the law and ends up in the presence of one of the most unlikeliest characters who gives him a strange deal: find out the true meaning of friendship and the magic therein within one month, or spend the rest of his life imprisoned in limbo.

With his freedom on the line, the man has to learn the value of friendship and what he learns could change his life. For better or worse, only time can tell.

- Set around +10 years from the current time-line
- Story has ceased being canon
- Story has characters from various stories (with authorization from their authors)
- Strong language from the start (i.e. lots of swearing)
- Cover art by Ephemurai
- Pictures by LuckyBreak
- Old cover art - 2
- Old cover art - 1

List of OC's and Characters

Chapters (35)