• Member Since 8th Oct, 2012


Technically not procrastinating.

Favorites 95 stories
  • Favorites 95 stories - 88 unread chapters
    Created by Ditz
    - October, 2014
Found 84 stories in 32ms

Total Words: 3,938,289
Estimated Reading: 1 week



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The first time we danced, she broke my jaw in three places.

The life of a disposable minion in the service to the Dread Ahuizotl is filled with acts of senseless violence and hardship, normally ending in a hospital or unmarked grave, but for Disposable Minion #3, the job just got more interesting.

He fell in love.

And love hurts.

Credits to the amazing Luvlessi for the cover art
Background music: The Masochism Tango by Tom Lehrer
With a wonderful reading by Luvlessi
And a second reading by Crafty Reads
Featured on Equestria Daily

Chapters (1)

Trixie's line of work is dangerous. But she's a careful showpony, and that's why she's only died a few dozen times in her career.

She thinks this is normal.

Chapters (1)

Dr. Minuette will treat any patient. Even Cozy Glow. Even if dentists don't usually do Tartarus calls...

Set sometime between Seasons 8 and 9. Inspired by the old fan name for Minuette, "Colgate the Dentist."

Cover art: https://derpibooru.org/891971

"Yowza," as Minuette would say. Hit #1 in the feature box! Featured 26-30 November, 2019. Thanks, everypony!

Hey! My first Equestria Daily feature, 23 March 2020!

A Night In Tartarus takes a comedy fic premise—Colgate giving Cozy an oral checkup—and decides to play it dead serious.


Chapters (1)

Daring Do cannot believe her luck when she is asked to help explore the most ancient tomb known to ponykind. But terrible danger awaits her, for beneath the earth rests something beyond equine understanding.

Warning: comments contain ending spoilers.

TVTropes page.
Alternate ending by Duplex Fields.
Archived in the Pony Fiction Vault.
One Man's Pony Ramblings
Louder Yay
The Royal Guard
Cleverpun's Critique Corner
The Goodfic Bin

Chapters (1)

Wake up. Go to work. Save Ponyville from unimaginable horrors beyond time and space. Have lunch with your PFF.

Ditzy Doo lives in a different world than her fellow ponies. She sees things nopony else can see—like higher-dimensional spatial anomalies, fae creatures, and eldritch abominations. And she uses what she sees to solve problems that nopony else even knows about.

But this time, Ditzy may have bitten off more than she can chew. Something very unfriendly is trying to enter Equestria through Ponyville’s Town Hall. An earth pony with an hourglass cutie mark has taken an unhelpful interest in Ditzy. The Princess’s personal student has grown suspicious. And, most irritating of all, her alarm clock radio is acting strangely.

Ditzy must race against the clock to save Ponyville—a clock that keeps playing the same song over, and over, and over ...


Many thanks to everyone who preread and edited my WORDS WORDS WORDS:

Japanese Teeth
Kuroi Tsubasa Tenshi
Clever Pun

Cover art assembled by yours truly, using a Derpy vector by Sierraex.


Shoop boopy boop boop doop bedoop.

Chapters (11)

Twilight Sparkle has always admired Princess Celestia. Her fortitude, her wisdom, her eternal grace and love for all her subjects. Twilight has often fantasized about what it would be like to be in Princess Celestia's horseshoes. She never imagined those fantasies would come true.

Events take place a short time after the Crystal Empire's return (early S3).
Proofreading from chapter three-onward provided by Daemon of Decay.
Cover image used with permission from TexasUberAlles, thanks!
Inspiration for Sunny Skies from PhantomFox.

Chapters (3)

This story is a sequel to Flounce!

Flash Sentry doesn't know when Pinkie Pie became his best friend, but nothing is ever certain whenever she's around. The only thing he can expect is that her company is always a bright spot in a dull world, and that might be enough for him.

A spiritual sequel to Flounce!, and commissioned by ShortSkirtsandExplosions

Chapters (1)

She could've been many things after leaving Canterlot High. A baker, a comedian, a singer, a professional party planner.

Yet instead, Pinkie chose another path in life. A road nobody thought she would ever travel. For Pinkie Pie, being a police officer is almost second nature to her.

Written for the June 19th short story Writeoff Group event using the prompt "A Matter of Perspective".

"This story is why Schnapps is a bad idea." -- Bradel

Chapters (1)

Twilight asks Rainbow if they can move their reading session from the library over to the cloud house. Snuggling ensues.

Winner of The Abyss' cuteness competition.

Chapters (1)