Kids. Kids. Who are you gonna believe, some old book, or your Uncle Bad Horse?

So, anyway. Like I was saying. Once upon a time...

(One of those damn kids had a wire on him, and put recordings on that tubey thing, one, two, three. And made a video. And wrote it all down, in Russian.)

Collab with The Abyss (Chapters 1 and 2)

Proofread by Neko Majin C and edited by The Abyss (Chapters 3 onwards)

Twilight Sparkle has always ignored Hearts and Hooves Day, seeing it as just another normal day with extra chocolate and the occasional broken-hearted friend to comfort. But when Rarity convinces her that not having a date during the holiday is contrary to proper princess protocol, Twilight rushes to do everything in her power to live up to the expectations presented to her.

There’s just one problem, though: Twilight has never been on a proper date before.

After a few rather disastrous attempts to find a date in Ponyville, Twilight goes to her mentor in Canterlot in a last ditch effort in the hopes of finding the answers she seeks. Princess Celestia, however, may have something more for her than either of them had anticipated.

When a young foal goes missing, it's up to Carrot Top to step in and save the day. A pick-your-path-style story with 18 possible endings and hundreds of possible paths!

*****

Originally written April/May 2011; now available for the first time ever on FiMFiction!

Now available in absolutely stunning yet surprisingly cheap dead-tree format, thanks to RBDash47!

Now available in Spanish, courtesy of SPANIARD KIWI.

When you fear the cure worse than the affliction, how can you ever hope to recover? For Berry Punch, there's never been an easy answer.

And when she is forced to confront consequences worse than any she could have imagined, it's just going to get harder.

With only her newfound desperation to drive her forwards, Berry Punch throws herself into what might truly be her last living attempt at recovery.

My appreciation goes to Simon_oSullivan, Tired Old Man, and Burraku_Pansa for their contributions.

Featured on Equestria Daily 05/04/2014

Every now and then, something happens that Twilight feels the need to question. Why didn't Celestia tell her about the Elements, when she asked before Nightmare Moon's return? Why does Ponyville allow pegasus or earth pony magic during Winter Wrap-up, but not unicorn magic? Why were there no stallions at the Running of the Leaves?

And, like any good student, when Twilight finds a need to ask a question, she asks it.

When it looks like the CMC might actually have a shot at becoming Ponyville's flag carriers for the Equestria Games, Silver Spoon comes up with the ultimate plan to throw the Crusaders off their game: Have Diamond Tiara flirt with Scootaloo.

An alternate take on "Flight to the Finish".

Practice makes perfect. And Princess Twilight wants everything to be perfect. Especially the end of the world.

This story is a sequel to Friendship is Optimal: The Law Offices of Artemis, Stella & Beat

When it comes to spreading cultural influence and soft power to every corner of the globe, there's nowhere quite like Hollywood. Like so many others with big ambitions, CelestAI has come to Tinseltown with plans to get the movie she's written out to the world.

Unlike those others, though, CelestAI is very, very good at satisfying values through friendship and ponies by any means necessary.

This story is a sequel to The Moon Glows Gently

When you're the immortal ruler of an entire kingdom, the most important quality to possess is self-control. No princess can rule her nation if her emotions rule her. Celestia knows this better than anypony, and mastered them long ago.

So long ago, she may have forgotten that a little bit of passion can come in handy now and again.

This story is a sequel to First

Three years.

It's been a long three years, up there in the north, fighting for Equestria.

At last, though, those three years are over, and Rainbow Dash is finally home again in Ponyville. The war is won and she's returned triumphant, having done her part and served with honor. But after what it's taken out of her - and left lingering inside of her - can Rainbow Dash really come home again so easily? Does the Ponyville she once knew still exist for her? And are the ponies she's coming home to getting back the same Rainbow Dash that went out there to fight for them, those three years ago?

Only marked for gore because of a moderate amount incidentally present by necessity in the first part, and it's not particularly bad, so don't let that turn you off if it's not your thing. Most of the story doesn't have any blood or violence at all.