• Member Since 21st Jun, 2012


I read a lot of fim fics while I work by playing them on my text-to-speech reader.

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The Fire of Friendship has all but faded. One thousand years ago, Equestria fractured... those who disagreed with Celestia's rule left under the leadership of Princess Luna to found their own nation, their own way of life. Seventy years later, Celestia and Luna both disappeared during the first war, leaving the battered nations leaderless in their absence.

Over the last nine hundred years wars have frequently waged between Equestria and Lunaria, each seeking to unite ponykind under their own ideals. Equestria's mastery of magic often gave it the edge in battle, but never enough for a decisive victory. Peace reigns for now, but recent developments in Lunaria signal a shift in the balance between the two divided nations...

Chapters (40)

What was going to be a relaxing weekend camping turns into a nightmare as a human gets lost in an unknown forest. Also, his phone decides to stop working for some reason, so he can't use it to orient himself or even for an emergency call. Maybe it's not the phone's fault at all, because you all can imagine where he actually is now.

Will there be adventure? Maybe a little at the beginning, but mostly slice of life afterwards. Sudden unknown OP human abilities because reasons? Well, if you count ear scritches, maybe? Instant romance with all the equestrian heros? Probably not, gee...

Then what's the point!?

... Uh... yep, that's the question, isn't it?

This is my take on a cheeky human in equestria self insert a human in equestria doing all the human in equestria things there are for a human in equestria to do. There is language barrier to spice it up a little bit, so it will focus on cultural differences, how to even communicate with the locals and coping with all the weird things this world can casually throw at a regular, out of the mill, human.

May contain subtle traces and hints of RGRE.

For those who know of Cheery Cheesy Cheeky Romance Hoers Words, this is the original setting and story I had planned but never published.

Chapters (20)

Sweet Sauce was once a Stallion of renown and stature, a pony others respected and admired. Unfortunately for him, all that success eventually turned to pride, and ended with a sentence of banishment from Equestria.

There was no term to his sentence--but Sweet Sauce was not the kind of pony to surrender. He had centuries to reflect, to reconsider, and to gather power for his triumphant return. But perhaps he should've spent a little more time.

His incredible spell worked, returning him to the world of his birth. But instead of his own powerful body, he's now a small, useless earth pony, in a world that has forgotten he ever existed. Sweet is determined to make up for his mistakes, and to prove to the princesses of Equestria that he is a changed pony.

Too bad he looks like a homeless little colt without a cutie mark.

Updates Thursdays until complete. Editing by Two Bit and Sparktail. Coverart by Solder Point.

This story was written as a Patreon reward for Boopy Doopy.

Chapters (23)

This story is a sequel to Message in a Bottle

For numberless eons, Equus hosted primitive civilizations, ignorant of the proud achievements of their ancient race. In their simple lives, ponies and other creatures could grow without fear of alerting any of the terrible forces that grew in the galaxy beyond. All civilization had been extinguished by forces beyond comprehension. If they made too much noise, Equestria would be next.

Then came James Irwin, with the truth the Harmony superintelligence that maintained the vast Niven Ring had already known: the galaxy was safe again, and probably had been for many centuries.

Once the truth was revealed, Equestria again longed for the stars. Surely they could not be the only survivors of that galactic Red Tide that had swallowed all intelligent life. Their searching bore fruit: radio signals from a nearby system.

Felicity was the Alicorn chosen to captain that mission of discovery. She would bring the pony gift of friendship to a fellow survivor somewhere out there. That was the plan, anyway.

Unfortunately for Equestria, intelligence does not imply friendliness.

A tale of understanding and discovery set in the world of Message in a Bottle. Reading that story first is highly recommended.

This story was written as a Patreon commission for Lithl over the course of over two years now. It comes to fimfiction now that it is nearly finished.

Editing by Two Bit, cover by Zutcha.

Updates Weekly on Wednesdays.

Chapters (41)

Zenith would give anything to find her lost sister Nadir, who vanished in the depths of space long ago. And now, after decades of suspended animation, she has finally located Nadir on a strange planet haunted by alien ruins, far outside known space.

It's lonely out there, but Zenith has company – six personalities simulated by her ship's AI. And she'll need every ounce of help Twilight Sparkle, Rainbow Dash, and the others can offer, for Lapis is a more mysterious, and dangerous, planet than she could ever have imagined.

Updated every-other day until Jan. 6.

An entry for Bicyclette's Science Fiction Contest.

Chapters (5)

This story is a sequel to A Sleeping Rose

Lily's conspiracy newspaper said that there was a monster near Ponyville, and while it was mostly wild speculation, town gossip said that Ginger Gold suddenly had somebody—something—unexpected working in her woodlot.

Lily had her thoughts about that, and so did I. Assuming it actually existed, would Ginger Gold hire it if it was really a monster? I didn’t think so, but the only way to find out was to see for myself.

Pre-read by TheLegendaryBillCipher, The Red Parade and Topaz Moon

Chapters (13)

This story is a sequel to Mule

A continuation of my last iteration, featuring the fallout that comes with desperate measures. Celestia and Nightlight soon learn that that their actions an have long spanning consequenses that effect those around them.

Chapters (5)

One thousand years ago, the Ancient Ones arrived. To each of their progeny they came seeking submission, and came to rule through peace or through blood. The Princess asked two sisters to cede their rule over Equestria. When they refused, she banished them to the moon, their forlorn visages to ever look down upon the denizens and nation they lost. 

With the one thousandth Summer Solstice Celebration approaching, the Royal Scholar Twilight Sparkle discovers a prophecy that The Mares in the Moon shall escape with the aid of the Stars, and return to Equestria with fire and fury. However, she is ordered by The Princess to disregard such a false prediction and assist with preparations in the small township of Ponyville. 

A madmare, a farmer, a braggart, a socialite and a wallflower may be her only hope of saving Equestria.

A Lovecraft-Lite AU which is inspired by the Lovecraft Mythos, but does not require having read Lovecraft stories in the past to understand.

Cover art commissioned from Nemo2D.

Thanks so far to Shaslan and Zontan with some proofreading help.

Chapters (5)

This story is a sequel to Good Trooper Gilda

Gilda has been a fugitive, a refugee, a prisoner of war, and a bat-hen to Equestria's fussiest unicorn. But it wasn't until she took 'the Princess's bit', that she began to know something about what it meant to be responsible for the welfare of others, even if the others in question happened to be the pack of imbeciles, blackguards, con-ponies, and bat-ponies who had been fool enough to answer her captain's call to the standard.

A crystalline standard which had not been seen in the living world for over a thousand years.

And although Captain Gleaming Shield and her motley band of raw recruits and shifty bat-ponies aimed to do nothing more exotic and dangerous than put a foreign princess on her proper throne, there are other things stirring in the shadows.

Like calls to like, and the revival of ancient battle-colors may lead to the revival of other, darker memories upon which the rays of Celestia's sun lay lightly and infrequently.

Chapters (54)

A nurse has seen it all. A combat medic has seen even more.

Princess Celestia sends her elite Household Battalion—"Celestia's Own"—south, far beyond the borders of Equestria, to break the slave trade and to free the oppressed. Medic Redheart, a young rookie among the Guard's hardened veterans, is with her Battalion every step of the way.

She's never told anypony her story. Until now.

A side story/prequel to my The Ponies in the Caves and A Story to Relate To, but reads independently.

This story is fantastic. There wasn't a single chapter that didn't give me chills or bring a tear to my eye. The way you describe the selflessness of the soldiers, and Redheart's unrelenting drive to save them, no matter the personal cost, was exemplary. I look forward to more of your work.


Has a Black Company feel to it with the medic POV. Great story so far!


Cover art by Pabbles, by commission. Thanks!

With massive thanks to the folks in the Discord for comments and advice, and Totallynotabrony, Raleigh, Sledge115, and ChudoJogurt for detailed pre-reading, in whole or in part. Any remaining errors are fully my own.

Author's notes and commentary blog, with big spoilers.

Chapters (11)