This story is a sequel to Your Money or Your Life

The cunning Queen Chrysalis is back, seeking vengeance upon all of the ponies! To fulfill her desire, but avoid unnecessary exposure, she decides to infiltrate the Crystal Empire and acquire aid from one of its very residents, by seduction, persuasion, or coercion if necessary. That way, she can plot away in safety, utilizing the fool until he outlives his usefulness!

Surely a professional and ambitious upstart with a shady background, who has just been appointed the new Imperial Tax Collector, is the perfect target.

… maybe too perfect?

Twilight finds herself struggling without a clear path in front of her as a princess. In a bout of panic, she seeks out her mentor, Princess Celestia, in the hopes of gaining answers, only to find herself with some much more distressing questions.

With a decidedly unexpected guest making herself comfortable in Canterlot Castle, it quickly becomes evident that her mentor has been keeping some interesting company over the years. Twilight quickly begins to realize just how much things are going to change for her. She's practically immortal. Which, apparently, means she's going to be spending a lot of time with beings a lot less mature than they first seemed.

(First Story-Woot. Likely to be broken down into three parts.)

Twilight Sparkle will not pass up on this incredible opportunity – a batpony stallion came to stay in Ponyville and is willing to share knowledge and information! It would allow to finally fill all the gaps in Equestrian knowledge about their species!

The questions are prepared, the tape is set. Let's start the interview!

5th place in the EQD Batpony Writeoff Competition (link)

I, Queen Chrysalis of the Changelings, was a paragon of my kind. I was the greatest military ruler my people have ever known. I was mere months from conquering the most prosperous nation in the world.

Then a strange dragon rose from the stone, and everything changed.

I do not think of conquest any more. Now, I think of persimmons.

[AU fic where Discord decided to wreak bloody vengeance when he was first released. Heavily based on (BUT NOT CANON TO) the wonderful alarajroger's Elements of Opposition continuity. Go check that out, because it's fantastic and better than this story.]

There’s no end to the monsters that lurk in the dark.

Ghosts, werewolves, mad scientists, cultists, mutants, zombies, vampires, aliens and more lie in wait in the dark corners of Equestria, terrorizing the night. But the most infamous and dangerous of them all is the legendary witch Twilight Sparkle, with a five hundred million bit bounty on her head.

Seeking fame and fortune, Rainbow Dash sets out to defeat the legendary witch and collect the massive reward. The one thing she wasn't counting on was Twilight being less evil than she expected.

More stories set in this AU can be found here.

Cover art is a work in progress by Abode_WTF

Failing once in her attempt to take Canterlot and failing again in her attempt to take down Twilight, one would think Chrysalis would have cut her losses and let things be, but the queen has once again appeared, this time in broad daylight with no disguise and no army. Her weapon of choice? Diplomacy.

Now Twilight is having to deal with the changeling queen, but surely putting up with her antics will be worth the knowledge she's willing to provide about her mysterious race and the potential undiscovered agents still within their midst...right?

Takes place before Magical Mystery Cure and diverges from there.

With thanks to MisterGunpowder for proofreading and editing.

Revision History:

05/09/2015: Chapter 1 updated with millions of little corrections.
05/20/2015: Chapter 2 revised and edited with another million small and large corrections.
06/12/2015: Chapter 3 given a thorough editing and revision.
06/23/2015: Chapter 4 taken to the gutter and edited twice to be sure.
07/14/2015: Chapter 5 thoroughly brutalized with the editing stick.
08/03/2016: Chapter 6 finally edited. Yes, I'm still alive, dammit.
09/29/2016: Chapter 7 fell out of the editing tree and hit every editing branch on the way down.
10/26/2016: Chapter 8 has emerged from the editing emergency room.
11/17/2016: Chapter 9 found and edited. No casualties reported.
11/30/2016: Chapter 10 treated for whiplash after lightning fast editing.
12/22/2016: Chapter 11 edited. Chrysalis shot first.
01/17/2017: Epilogue edited. Time to hit the cider.

Princess Celestia, tired of the constant pressure that ruling a nation puts on her, decides to take a day off and let Luna take her responsibilities for a day, something the younger alicorn is more than happy to do. She disguises herself as a pink maned pegasus pony named Sunny Skies and decides to go walking around Canterlot without any supervision. Unfortunately for her, not all parts of Canterlot are as safe as the palace, and she finds herself at the wrong end of a gang of muggers, who decide to kidnap her for a ransom when they see how much money she has on her.

Luna freaks out.

Celestia thinks it's hilarious.

Find this story and more in a print copy! Just click these words here!

Featured on Equestria Daily 8/15/13

Go here for the French translation!

[img]http://i.imgur.com/CUBPvKI.png[/img]

Edited wonderfully by sqarishoctagon and Cloud Hop

Updated cover art by Dominatore

Twilight Sparkle is facing a crisis greater than Tirek, the Changelings, and King Sombra combined.

She's read every single book in existence.

So it is that she has nothing new to read.

She does not take it well.

Pre-read by The Albinocorn and MythrilMoth.

Review by Gear Tech the Living Robot

Dramatic reading by DRWolf
Reading by Wing T. Spears

"Every normal pony must be tempted, at times, to spit on her hooves, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.”

Over brunch, Twilight Sparkle lines out her plans to turn to a life of villainy. For the most part, her friends are all for it.

It makes sense in context, honest.

When five foals asked Princess Twilight Sparkle to please try and paint the moon purple during Nightmare Night, she initially refused. It wasn't until they insisted (and Princess Luna quite basically dared her) that she relented. She only relented, however, because she really thought she wouldn't be able to do it.

Too bad she thought wrong.

A very silly story that started as a prompt that got way, way, way out of hand.