The star system Omega Centauri was just another oddity on a map to scientists in the not too distant future. However when they found the star was orbiting an earth-sized, earth-like planet instead of a black hole as its motion had suggested, a mission was scrambled to investigate this most unusual of celestial behaviors.

Hamstrung by politics, and nearly crippled before it began, the 'Lone Ranger' mission was reduced to just one crew member and left to his own devices.

These are the logs of Arrow 18 and its lone commander. This information is classified TOP SECRET by the Global Space Agency.

Do NOT tell the princess.

Teleportation. It is the best possible way to travel... As long as you don't think about it too much. As long as you don't ask where Twilight goes in that split second when she's neither here nor there.

The sound I listened to as I wrote it, available to you in order to give you the option of having the same atmosphere.

No relation to the other story with the same name, just a coincidence of both picking the same excellent title. I was unaware that the other one existed.
Dramatic Reading by Charles Spratt | Second Reading by TheDizzyDan | Third Reading by Crafty Arts | Fourth Reading by Stormy787
Russian Translation 1 (by Aloz) | Russian Translation 2 (by Doof Ex Machina)

This is your typical, stereotypical HIE story exposing all the HIE stereotypes, but like, compressed and crammed into one short chapter, making the pacing extremely awkward and fast. Yeah that's pretty much it.

*Disclaimer, I don't hate HIE stories, I actually love them. Don't sue me. Also, I'm so sorry for this.*

Big thanks to Flutterpriest for the narration! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2z_Tb9JOfjQ!

This got featured on 9-26-2016... Why? I have no clue, but thanks!

A few days after ascending to Alicornhood, Twilight Sparkle is experimenting with Magic, as she is wont to do. She found a lovely new spell in Luna's old quarters in the Castle of the Two Pony Sisters that she's just dying to try. She should've read the fine print.

Featured 6/22/2020. Thank you all so much!
It happened again 6/30/2020! What insanity is this?!
OK, seriously, you people spoil me. 7/1/2020
I'm going to keep thanking you every time it happens. You can't stop me! 7/4/2020
Have all the happy Pinkie Pies in the world! 7/5/2020
RIGHT ON MY DUDES! ROCK ON! 7/13/2020

New cover art by Mix Up: https://www.fimfiction.net/user/195663/Mix-up

Mix Up's deviantart page: https://www.deviantart.com/amalgamzaku

Daniel Habbuck, UN ambassador to Equestria, hates his job.

Sure it pays well, but it's hardly worth having to put up with flank-kissing politicians and the stomach twisting anxiety of knowing that he represents all of humanity.
One night, after a particularly tense meeting leaves him wound up, Daniel is desperate for somepony to talk to. With his friends either busy or too far away, he hires a batpony prostitute, just so he can have some company.

As he soon learns, there's much more to this streetwalker than meets the eye...

Rated T for sexual references, but no clop.

Special thanks to WingmanRed, Georg, and Kraken Hatchling for proofreading and editing

EDIT: Special, special thanks to Comrade Pony for the suggestions
EDIT: Deleted cover art.