• Member Since 19th Mar, 2012


Veteran Lurker and Silent NPC. Basically shrubbery but I don't go away if you ignore me unlike plants.

Favourites 1855 stories
Found 1,115 stories in 66ms

Total Words: 18,639,817
Estimated Reading: 7 weeks



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A pony is stuck in a fence, and it's my job to get her out.


Cover art by silfoe. I've always loved this particular picture.

Inspired by the cover art and this video.

Originally wanted this to be in 2nd person, but I know that can turn people off to the whole thing. I get it, I used to be like that too.

Featured on March 2nd, 2020! Thanks so much guys!

Now has a live reading by StraightToThePointStudio.

Chapters (1)

This story is a sequel to Cuddle Time...Again!

The Canterlot Castle's dungeon is renowned for being the highest-security jail in all of Equestria (after Tartarus, of course). Little do ponies know, but the most dangerous, unpredictable, and crafty criminals are held in an entirely different floor, directly under the watchful eye of Princess Luna.

Luna ALWAYS extracts the information she needs from those held in her secret Cuddle Dungeon. And if they refuse to cooperate, well, she'll just suffocate them in her chest floof until they fold like a house of cards.

Inspired by a few brief lines in my story Cuddle Time...Again!

Beautiful cover art by probablydnon on Tumblr (no link; Blog is NSFW).

"deliciously and hilariously silly..." - LightningDashes

EDIT: Featured 8/15/17! Thank you all so much!
EDIT 2: Featured at #1 8/15/17! I am so glad everypony enjoyed!
EDIT 3: Now with an Audio Drama set up by the illustrious TheWingman!

Chapters (8)

An ancient law of Canterlot states that each species present within the city must have an adequate diplomatic representation. There are no exemptions from it, even as far as interdimensionals aliens are concerned. As such, Anonymous the Human must pick up the mantle of an ambassador for humanity, even if he is the sole specimen. Even if he doesn't want to.

But it's not all bad news for him. After all, with such a responsibility also come some privileges. Personal guard detail, generous private mansion, all expenses covered by the crown. And of course, diplomatic immunity. Only that, thanks to the pony magic, the word immunity is taken much more seriously in Equestria.

Proofread by Havana

Chapters (1)

Anon, somehow, was able to romantically court the princess of the sun herself, Celestia. During one quiet night at Canterlot castle, they decide for the first time to sleep together in the same bed, cuddling up to one another and saying sweet nothings into each other's ears.

There is also talk about themselves, the world around them, and the time they have spent with one another. It was a good night.

An RGRE story inspired by the thoughts I've been having lately, and a cute idea I had for this trending, alternative take on Equestria.

Pre-read by B_25.

Now edited by A Man Undercover.

Cover art by Cocoanon and Stradivarius. (Both of which can't be linked, cause of their explicit art).

Chapters (1)

Every year, I write to the princess. I think she's amazing. I want to be just like her.

I wonder if she'll ever reply.

Chapters (5)

Magic has slowly been flowing into the world. Ever since the appearance of Twilight Sparkle's crown in Canterlot High, more and more magical incidents have occurred. So far the Mane Seven has done their best to keep this contained but sometimes they are simply not available. Sometimes they can't be reached.

When an artifact is found by a student which has pony symbols and strange writing on it, its origin is obvious. Remembering whats happened before, the quick thinking student brings the item to Principal Celestia, and now its up to her to decide, how to handle this.

Special thanks to Sparky for editing.
Alkarasu for artwork!

Chapters (1)

Twilight Sparkle and Rarity meet up at a cafe for tea. Everything seems to be going well, until Rarity asks a rather alarming question.

Inspired by, though not very similar to, GaPJaxie's Would it matter if I was?

Reading by Illya Leonov, Scribbler and Keyframe

Chapters (1)

Finally, it is done. The Legion of Doom is defeated, and Equestria will soon be passed into Twilight Sparkle's most capable hooves.

However, a few days before her departure to Canterlot an unusual package is delivered to her chambers, one that will change everything she's ever known.

A weird thing that came to my mind after a few days of playing MGSV and reading a particularly amusing crack theory about mlp.

Spoiler for the ending of MGSV, but only if you squint hard enough.

24/04/2022, 25/04/2022, 26/04/2022, 27/04/2022 Featured! Didn't expect it, but it happened. Nice.

Chapters (1)

"Long ago, this crown rested on the head of those who would rule, and still it seeks the true liege." Spike thought it looked neat and put it on. Things happened, and he's not entirely unhappy with the result. Twilight does not approve.

Done as a one-off commission, enjoy!

Chapters (2)

As a timeless immortal being, I never understood death and loss. I was willing to make friends and play nice, I even fell in love. But then one day I lost the pony I loved most, and sought to escape my grief. It went fine for a time, until somepony restored magic to Equestria.

Hitch was having a pretty normal day, until a strange creature appeared on the road and transformed him into a mare. He kept going on about somepony named Fluttershy, before vanishing and imploding a few buildings. Hitch misses the days before he was a national hero in constant peril.

Chapters (7)