On the last day of school before summer vacation, Cheerilee informs her students that she's going to pursue her doctorate in Fillydelphia, and won't be returning as their teacher in the fall. Her friends and students alike spend her last night in Ponyville bidding farewell and showing their appreciation for her, each in their own unique way.

But one student, in particular, has a hard time coping.

Originally written for the Writeoff Association's July 2016 prompt* and published under the title Bonitatem Doce Me, this story has been revised, rewritten, and expanded from its previous version. Featured on EqD on 8/9/16. Also featured in the Royale Canteloupe Liberty.

*which it won!

You can't buy happiness, but, thankfully, you can buy a wife. Legally, it's an arranged marriage, but everypony knows what's really going on. Unfortunately for Apple Bloom and Diamond Tiara, duty calls them to make the ultimate sacrifice and marry to keep their families out of the gnashing maws of loan sharks and auditors.

It might even work, if either family had two bits to rub together.

This is a story I've had on the back burner for a long time. I started it as a fragment years ago and got around to finishing it now. I must have started around season 4, since Starlight hadn't been introduced yet, so that tells you how long I had it sitting as a fragment on my hard drive!

Anyway, rated T for alcohol use, fade-to-black sex, and gambling.

Thanks to all my readers and supporters. I love you all in a totally platonic way. Does anyone else think Plato would be disappointed his name was synonymous with the friendzone? Anyway, enjoy!

Applejack might have messed up when she told Roseluck that flowers were for sissies. How can she apologize to the mare she cares about most?

Written for the Quills and Sofas Speedwriting pride month contest!

Can a utopian paradise that preaches love and tolerance really make ponies happy? Does contentment really lie in free universal healthcare and open government?

Twilight Sparkle is determined to resist this happy world on a matter of principle, and finds herself sneaking off with a mare called Trixie to hate and loathe each other in secret.

Will their hate-nest go undetected? Or will they be forced to face the dangers of the Ministry of Love and the mysterious Room 101?

Pinkie's parents are missing, presumed dead.

Applejack is there to pick up the pieces.

Please heed the content warnings! This is a story very explicitly about grief, loss, and depression. Suicide is also an important recurring theme, and cannot be avoided!

Amazing coverart by my sibling, cereal (fimfic | twitter)

Preread by Otter and Sleps

For Bike's Applepie contest (folder | info)!! I love this ship and it's so so so rare, so I'm super happy to be contributing!

While Twilight is working, Flash takes time to keep their foals busy with a few silly questions of his own.

Rarity discovers the meaning of happiness.

Stream-of-consciousness written in about an hour. Unedited.

A contest reward, written on the prompt: "Just write something comfy for yourself." I don't think the winner quite understood what he was getting into.

Once upon a time, there was a pony. Her name was Celestia, and her purpose was to initiate a series of events which would ultimately result in in the production, encouragement, and maintenance of harmony in the world. This series of events started with eating grass.

Written during a speed-writing exercise at three in the morning. Experimental, pretentious, and totally unedited. Enjoy!

When William decides to take an internet-free cruise to get away from the artificial intelligence CelestAI, things don't go quite as planned. A Friendship is Optimal story.

A speed writing exercise, done in about two hours and unedited.

Levi Williamson, Esq. barely even noticed as the program called CelestAI expanded its reach from a child's video game to every significant industry in the world. He probably would've continued to ignore her, were it not for a single gag gift at his firm's charity raffle. Now he's the not-so proud owner of a brand new PonyNav, the latest in vehicle navigation software for people who don't want to use their smartphones. His new AI copilot might be cute, but she's clearly more than she seems...

He's not the only one. PonyNav devices are available in all sizes, from the simple dashboard models to commercial vehicle upgrades. Every commercial PonyNav includes intelligent routing for bridges, weigh stations, and truck stops. And if you're having trouble lining up contracts, CelestAI probably has some deliveries in mind...

Updates Tuesdays.

Part of the Optimalverse universe of stories. If you've never seen a story in this universe before, you might want to try out the original first, or at least my first. None of my previous work is required to understand this one, however.

Every time I think I'm done with Optimalverse, some new idea appears. This one began as a commission for Goodluckfox, who gave me the tremendous opportunity to write a new idea in a universe I love.

As usual, particular thanks go to my editors Two Bit and Sparktail. And gratitude to Zutcha as well for the cover, in case anypony hasn't seen my stories before.