A collection of short, random, vaguely comedic stories, for when an idea isn't worth a thousand words.

Cherry Strudel's New Glasses: A new pair of glasses might just change how Cherry Strudel sees the world.

Liquid Diplomacy: Princess Celestia negotiates a peace treaty with the llamas.

(Formerly) The Shortest Shipfic Ever, etc.: Despite the word count, the actual story is shorter than the title (or description). It was ultimately beaten in word count by both Super Trampoline and Present Perfect, which leads us naturally into

Canonical Mute Vinyl Scratch Breaks Up With Fanon Muteavia. You literally can't have a lower word count, and pictures would have been cheating.

Reading of the two breakup fics by AShadowOfCygnus

I Wasn't Prepared for This! Twilight discovers one of the seasonal joys of wings.

The Longest Sentence You're going in blind.

Mother Who is Pipsqueak's mother?

Twilight Sparkle Eats a Potato No, it's not a euphemism. Happy St. Patrick's Day!

This story is a collection of unrelated short stories written for the Thirty Minute Ponies tumblr.

None of the chapters directly relate to the others, they're all independent stories based on daily prompts. I'm just posting them all here for fun and for critique/comments. Keep in mind that these are all written in half an hour or so, so they're short and a bit first-draft-y, and rather uneven quality-wise.

I will try to add tags to the end of chapter titles denoting the tone of that chapter.

My participation in this is inspired by Esle Ynopemos' six-month long series of these, though I'm not focusing on any particular character like they did.

In the wake of the events of "Infernal Machines" and the Nightmare's most pathetic assault on Ponyville yet, Applejack is thrown into an existential crisis, despite her not knowing what the word "existential" means. So when a stranger named Stranger arrives in town, teaching a new way of coupling talent to power using complex machinery, she is quickly suckered in, along with everypony else. Now, it falls to the Most Dependable of Ponies to bring the resulting ruckus down to earth, but can even Applejack's legendary pragmatism stand up to the brain-fizzing horror that is... CONTRAPTIONOLOGY?

Now with a Spanish translation by Spaniard Kiwi!

It had seemed like a good idea at the time, until Sunset actually read what Twilight wrote in her letter. She'd already said yes to seeing Celestia again, and she wouldn't go back on her word. As long as she remained convinced that this was a good idea and that it would all end well, she could get through it without a problem.

6/21/2016: Now with cover art designed by the very generous Novel-Idea! Thank you so much!

While relaxing after a performance, the Rainbooms discover Sunset has scars that she definitely didn't have before the Fall Formal.

As of 9/14/2015, this story has a dramatic reading by Goombasa. Give it a listen!

7/7/2016: Now with cover art designed by the very generous Novel-Idea! Thank you so much!

7/23/2016: This story has a reading by Gabriel C Media. Give it a listen!

Sunset Shimmer's life has been on the up and up. She turned from her past, made new friends, and is now passing the magic of friendship to others, including this world's Twilight Sparkle.

Which is why, of course, this is all just a mistake. Things got a little out of hand, but it's over now. So now they can just move past this. Why, it'll be a funny story to tell in a few months.

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Special thanks to the following:

SoloBrony, for being who he is.

CarcinoGeneticist, for his charitable contribution cleaning up the grammar.

Nadnerb who along with Solobrony convinced me to work toward publishing this stuff, even when I didn't want to.

And Skeeter the Lurker, Tourquillian, Nyerguds, and Prane for arguing in the Gdoc about what worked and what didn't.

The catalyst for, but not part of, The Shelf Cleaning Intiative

Now has a spiritual sister story in So You've Just Seduced Your Best Friend. For more details on that, check here.

Hate.

It is a powerful force. It can burn through the laws of the heart. It can warp the best of minds. It can torture the purest of souls.

In the end... all it needs is just the right spark.

Written for FTP 9. Cover art by YogurtYard.

Trigger warnings: Swords used for warfare, with all associated slicey-dicey. Fish horses popping limbs off non-human monstrosities. Bone-breaking baddies. Lots of creatures going squish and/or exploding. Horrific transformations, the kind that Lovecraft had nightmares about. Oh, and saucy millennium-old teenage girls who occasionally skinnydip.

Principal Cinch managed to leave Canterlot High with her dignity largely intact. Of course, that leaves the question of where she went afterwards. While the two schools celebrated the continuing existence of the universe, Cinch went off to sulk.

It just so happens that one member of the Canterlot faculty knows precisely how she sulks. And in his experience, he plays an essential part in the process. He may have shirked that duty for quite some time now, but tonight, he'll take up the mantle once again, whether Cinch likes it or not.

An entry in the F*CK THIS PROMPT! 9. Prompt: A major villain is a completely sympathetic character.

Just beyond Ponyville Cemetery, Blues Noteworthy and Tritone Interval conspire for a sinister purpose: To write a musical that will raise the dead.

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Thanks to Horizon, for the Versebreaker 'Verse. Though Celestia Hates Us All is a stand-alone, I highly recommend the other Versebreaker stories.
Thanks also to two very different geniuses: Mary Shelley and Tony Iommi.
Edited by GaryOak.
Reviews:
Titanium Dragon
Horizon
City of Doors

Featured in the Royal Canterlot Library!

Once every month, a mare appears on a remote beach, far from her home. She plays, she reads, she sleeps, and she wastes precious, precious time.