Princess Celestia went out for a stroll to a coffee shop. The next morning, she is single-hoofedly destroying the coffee industry.

How?

No really, how?

Lieutenant Rodger T. Laurence, a pilot in the United States Navy, had just taken off from the USS Wasp on a routine recon mission. Mid-flight, Rodger experienced an event that he could never have imagined. Miraculously, the stunned pilot finds himself in foreign skies with no way of contacting home, and is greeted by an unexpected inhabitant of this strange new land.

“You know how when you're at a party, and you use what you didn't realize was a magic letter to Princess Celestia to roll a joint?
I guess maybe that's not, uh, a thing, but yeah, I did that this one time. It was at that huge party Shannon and Adam had a while back. You know, Max's friends? …No, Celestia's not one of—They wouldn't know each other...
But anyway, yeah, in case you were wondering why I'm all like, a girl unicorn now, that was kinda the short version.”

Meet Rob, a 27 year old musician who gets more than he bargained blah blah blah
Get a front-row seat in his brain for the Long Version, as he wracks it trying to weasel out of being a pony, or at least not let anything slip by as he takes it one freaky moment at a time.

What will the other lost-weekenders think when they walk in on him passed out on their couch? Will he be able to get through the city and at least back to his apartment, if not to normal? Will he learn anything about REAL friendship along the way and stop being such an insufferable hipster? What if some blowhard fan author just couldn't “turn it off” and ended up trying to write a pony story as actual sci-fi? Will Ahuizotl get the statue? Does P=NPony? Can you grab me another beer while you're up?
And did that letter ever get to Princess Celestia?
------------------------------------------------------------
Your standard pony Trip Report, with your standard pseudo-autobiographical narrator, written to flush out my creative plumbing and play around with, uh, like, good...thinkies and word-putting, and because the urge to do it just wouldn't leave me alone, so I just had to get it outta my system. I just really like the juxtaposition of humans and ponies, I guess.

Title is obviously a reference to M-Theory and Tristram Shandy, respectively. Because I can never pick just one thing.

Rated T for Adult Situations, gratuitous overthinking, and fuckloads of swearing. Oh and I guess drug use.

Solutions to war, famine, disease and societal collapse are not easily happened upon. For Celestia and Luna, the solution was a mystery for eons, until their top six battle mages forged a plan from their very essence. To unite their absolute individual powers into one worthy host. One who could put an end to the horrors plaguing the budding nation of Equestria.

Only one pony was ever worthy. His deeds and heroism ultimately culled evil and hatred from Equestria and allowed peace to reign. After this achievement, the power vanished of its own accord upon the natural death of its wielder.

However, it seems that something in the shadows has provoked the lost power's return in the form of a new carrier, and she's going to find out her true destiny through a series of literal trials by fire.

(Updated on 3/1/2019, I'm ashamed that its been almost 5 years since my last chapter update...)

This is my take on the origin of "Super Rainbow Dash." Shout out to the creator of Super Rainbow Dash, Super Klonoa. My apologies for not finding out who you were sooner!

Thanks to unexpectedly high ratings, this story has been moved from an experimental work to a full production. Edited by the Awesome Amazing Regular... uh.. "Solid" SolidFire.

I am a United States Air Force fighter pilot. I'm supposed to be a fearless, balls to the wall man of unfathomable feats. But somehow, I was taken from my world during a simple, routine flight. Now that I'm stuck here, part of me wishes I could have done things differently... The other part wants to stay here in this peaceful land, surrounded by serenity. Only time will tell where my road leads. I just hope I can find a way to cope in the mean time.

Awesome cover art by Balthasar999